Human beings are inherently self-interested. I don't see this as something that's debatable. People make decisions in their own self-interest, doing things that they believe will benefit themselves the most. It's part of human nature.

Yet we seem to have this belief that it's a bad thing to be self-interested, and that it is noble to instead be selfless, and do things that benefit others at your own expense.

But I'm not sure if this is even truly possible. I believe that every seemingly selfless decision that people make have selfish motivations behind them—even when the person making the decision isn't consciously aware of it.

Do people really do nice things for others solely for the benefit of others? Or is it because doing so improves their reputation? Or makes them feel like a good person?

Let's say person A and person B are dating. Person A wants to go to restaurant A for dinner, but person B wants to go to restaurant B. The purely selfish thing for person A to do would be to insist on going to restaurant A, but if person A agrees to go to restaurant B instead, is that a purely selfless decision? Clearly not, because Person A benefits from that decision. It makes person B happy with him, thereby improving person A's reputation with person B. It also gives person A leverage with person B when it comes to future disagreements—person A can say "I did what you wanted last time, so now we should do what I want." It may also improve person A's image of himself or herself, as he or she may feel like a good person for doing what person B wanted.

I believe that every selfless decision has these hidden selfish motivations. I do not think it is possible for humans to make a purely selfless decision that offers no perceived benefit to the person making the decision. Doing so is a direct contradiction to human nature.

What do you guys think? Is it possible to be truly selfless?

I don't think so. I think some people can get very close, but there is always some bit of self interest.

I think it just part of us being animals, we want to do what is best for ourselves first. However, as social animals, we also want what is best for everyone else as well (at least most of us do). There are some people that, on the outside, look very altruistic, and probably are, but I agree that there will always be some amount of selfish motivation.

To some extent I do think so yes. The relative universality of empathy seems to argue for its innateness. I think you can observe this in action too. Sometimes when people do things for the benefit of others it's close to instinctual. Like a parent shielding their child, or a soldier throwing themselves on a grenade to save their comrades. I think it's hard to argue in those cases that it's a purely self-interested action. But I suppose that also depends on what you take "self-interested" to mean.

Just hear me out:

No.

I don't really think that it's possible. Unless you gave all of your money until you were homeless.

This is a really complex question. As human beings we want to have relationships with others. But we also do self care and look after our own selves as well. This means a lot of times we do selfless things that we think will help us as well as help others when we are not aware of it.

However, I think there are times were it is possible to be selfless. I am a Christian now am I perfect no. But I try to do things that glorify God instead of myself. I try to help others rather its by prayer, being there or encouragement. I also think we can have empathy toward one another without focusing on ourselves so much.

I am also a married man and me and my wife try to do things that we think will help each other not just ourselves. Now, we do self care for ourselves and we do things for ourselves. But at the end of the day we try to do things that help us both because we are a family and we are one.

So yes it is possible sometimes. I would also like to add some people post the good deeds they do like they gave so much money to this or that. But are they really being selfless or is just to make themselves look good in front of others. I have actually seen that in action first hand.

Its a complex issue because in my faith everybody is born not good as written in Roman's chapter 3. As humans we have free will, can reason, choose our own path, but we are also flawed with sin and in some cases selfish. In my religion that is why accepting Jesus as your savior is important.

Even non Christians though can do good things without being selfish. I guess I'm trying to say I have seen it go both ways and this question is very very complex.

I see the argument.

Selfishness has a negative connotation. That's why people will try so hard to convince themselves and others that they are selfless to the point that they become, as a result, selfish.

A blatant example is people recording themselves doing nice things for some stranger or homeless person. I see it on my feed every time and find myself agreeing with both sides of the eternal debate whether it's a good thing or a bad thing to film and post that type of content. A selfless act has become selfish due to it being used to farm clicks and discussions, and as a result revenue/recognition. But does that make it also go from something good to something bad? I'd argue it's undebatable that it is better for this type of content to exist than content mocking or pranking strangers. After all I would want my kids to see videos of people helping others rather than hurting or scaring them. But now I've also shifted my attention from the act of helping someone to wanting my kids to do or see something. So I become selfish for wanting my kids to learn to be selfless, as that makes me feel better as a parent.

What if I make a choice only to realize the benefits later on? Does that make my choice retroactively more selfish?

It's not. Every single action you do every day is to, first and foremost, benefit yourself, even though it's not inherently apparent.

Giving to charity is like that. Helping your neighbor can be done to be a "good Christian", to feel good, to pay lower taxes, etc.

I even dare say that even people like Mother Theresa acted "selfishly", to accumulate some sort of heavenly points.