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05-01-19 07:04 PM
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How do I Go On Living?

 

05-01-19 07:04 PM
luigi25 is Offline
| ID: 1372084 | 659 Words

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I really don't have the will to do anything right now. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see if I'm going to be able to work again. I have a lot of anxiety over that, but the thing that bothers me the most is how my girlfriend has been acting. I thought she really liked me. We slept together, last week she texted me non-stop. We held each other, and she told me I was the only one that mattered. She really built me up, but now, my confidence is at an all time low. I haven't heard anything from her since Sunday, and I've been calling her as much as I can.

I don't know why she came on to me so strong at work then started being so cold to me this weekend. Especially, after the accident. I know this thread doesn't make any sense, but my neck is in so much pain right now, and I am heartbroken over this girl. I can't think straight. The other night, I couldn't stop crying over her. I'm thinking of committing suicide. I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to meet anyone else. I thought she really cared. I feel like I'm dying inside and have lost all will to live. I don't even think I'd be able to work because of how broken up I am.

I just know she's moved on to someone else that is better than I am and can give her the life I never could. I don't think she'll call me back, and I can't continue to call her and get no responses. I met her family for God's sake! I thought her aunt liked me! Me and her aunt helped pack up her stuff so she could get out of that trailer park she was living in where she was being abused. Her aunt told her to "hold on to this one, he's a keeper". What was that about? Apparently, that don't mean anything now.

People told me this girl was different, and it was the happiest they'd ever seen me, and now it's over!! I need help right now and am in need of someone to talk to. I know my family will never understand what I'm going through. I don't understand it. It's really hitting me hard right now, and I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm losing the will to live. I don't see the light. I need to talk to her, but she has another guy living with her, and he'll just pick up the phone. I thought I had a future with this girl because we had so much in common.

She had been through depression and was living in an abusive situation. She met me, and we started dating, and she started doing more with herself. She had a form of autism. I was the only guy she met that really loved her and treated her like a lady. I respected her. I went out of my way to spend time with her and stay out all night. That's when we got in trouble. One of her friends was driving the SUV we were in when we rolled over the embankment the other night in the woods. My girlfriend thought I was dead and started crying hysterically.

The driver was drunk and another girl was hurt too, but I got the worst of it. I was a bloody mess. We haven't spoke much since, and I don't think I'll ever see her or hear from her again. I can't live without her. I'm really thinking about killing myself right now, but I don't think I'll actually do it. I want to die. I can't go on without her. Man, I sound so weak right now. She's just another girl, but I thought she was different. It's not often I invest this much in someone to have them just slam the door in my face.

I really don't have the will to do anything right now. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see if I'm going to be able to work again. I have a lot of anxiety over that, but the thing that bothers me the most is how my girlfriend has been acting. I thought she really liked me. We slept together, last week she texted me non-stop. We held each other, and she told me I was the only one that mattered. She really built me up, but now, my confidence is at an all time low. I haven't heard anything from her since Sunday, and I've been calling her as much as I can.

I don't know why she came on to me so strong at work then started being so cold to me this weekend. Especially, after the accident. I know this thread doesn't make any sense, but my neck is in so much pain right now, and I am heartbroken over this girl. I can't think straight. The other night, I couldn't stop crying over her. I'm thinking of committing suicide. I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to meet anyone else. I thought she really cared. I feel like I'm dying inside and have lost all will to live. I don't even think I'd be able to work because of how broken up I am.

I just know she's moved on to someone else that is better than I am and can give her the life I never could. I don't think she'll call me back, and I can't continue to call her and get no responses. I met her family for God's sake! I thought her aunt liked me! Me and her aunt helped pack up her stuff so she could get out of that trailer park she was living in where she was being abused. Her aunt told her to "hold on to this one, he's a keeper". What was that about? Apparently, that don't mean anything now.

People told me this girl was different, and it was the happiest they'd ever seen me, and now it's over!! I need help right now and am in need of someone to talk to. I know my family will never understand what I'm going through. I don't understand it. It's really hitting me hard right now, and I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm losing the will to live. I don't see the light. I need to talk to her, but she has another guy living with her, and he'll just pick up the phone. I thought I had a future with this girl because we had so much in common.

She had been through depression and was living in an abusive situation. She met me, and we started dating, and she started doing more with herself. She had a form of autism. I was the only guy she met that really loved her and treated her like a lady. I respected her. I went out of my way to spend time with her and stay out all night. That's when we got in trouble. One of her friends was driving the SUV we were in when we rolled over the embankment the other night in the woods. My girlfriend thought I was dead and started crying hysterically.

The driver was drunk and another girl was hurt too, but I got the worst of it. I was a bloody mess. We haven't spoke much since, and I don't think I'll ever see her or hear from her again. I can't live without her. I'm really thinking about killing myself right now, but I don't think I'll actually do it. I want to die. I can't go on without her. Man, I sound so weak right now. She's just another girl, but I thought she was different. It's not often I invest this much in someone to have them just slam the door in my face.
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05-02-19 04:26 PM
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Hello there Luigi, I've seen you around, but we haven't talked have we? Well we can if you'd like. It sucks to see someone hurt so bad, and this subject matter is heavy.

It's definitely not wise to call someone so much, it could make matters worse. If what you're saying is happening, you won't improve the situation by trying to get through by phone. I understand though, you're probably thinking "what else can I do?"

I would suppose that you're unlucky. It seems likely that the accident triggered something in her that pushed her away. Whether that can be remedied is up to time, but you can't force it.

I went through a similar situation once. You know, it always feels like things are just fine until they're not. You meet someone, you get invested in them, and their family, then it's just over. When you're that deeply ingrained, it kinda does feel like the end, doesn't it? Rest assured, that if you don't kill yourself, this will eventually pass. But you'll probably get some negative takeaways from it. By the way, don't kill yourself. You only get one life, you ought to cherish it. The air you breathe is the one thing that stays consistent from the time you're born to the time you die. I'm not sure about these, since I've never called one. But you should seriously consider trying a suicide hotline the next time you feel like this. Even if it doesn't "work," at least you'll have someone to talk with for a little while? I found that my friends were never around in my saddest moments, so if you need to vent, you should search for a productive outlet for that.

I'm sorry you had to go through a car accident. It really does show how unsafe driving is, you never really know who's in the other vehicle until it's too late.

Don't worry about sounding weak. The thing I need to stress the most is, it is natural. Just let it out, you know? And you keep being that weak person till you simply can't anymore. Just remember that in the end, you did your best. And if they can't accept that, then maybe they didn't deserve it in the first place.
Hello there Luigi, I've seen you around, but we haven't talked have we? Well we can if you'd like. It sucks to see someone hurt so bad, and this subject matter is heavy.

It's definitely not wise to call someone so much, it could make matters worse. If what you're saying is happening, you won't improve the situation by trying to get through by phone. I understand though, you're probably thinking "what else can I do?"

I would suppose that you're unlucky. It seems likely that the accident triggered something in her that pushed her away. Whether that can be remedied is up to time, but you can't force it.

I went through a similar situation once. You know, it always feels like things are just fine until they're not. You meet someone, you get invested in them, and their family, then it's just over. When you're that deeply ingrained, it kinda does feel like the end, doesn't it? Rest assured, that if you don't kill yourself, this will eventually pass. But you'll probably get some negative takeaways from it. By the way, don't kill yourself. You only get one life, you ought to cherish it. The air you breathe is the one thing that stays consistent from the time you're born to the time you die. I'm not sure about these, since I've never called one. But you should seriously consider trying a suicide hotline the next time you feel like this. Even if it doesn't "work," at least you'll have someone to talk with for a little while? I found that my friends were never around in my saddest moments, so if you need to vent, you should search for a productive outlet for that.

I'm sorry you had to go through a car accident. It really does show how unsafe driving is, you never really know who's in the other vehicle until it's too late.

Don't worry about sounding weak. The thing I need to stress the most is, it is natural. Just let it out, you know? And you keep being that weak person till you simply can't anymore. Just remember that in the end, you did your best. And if they can't accept that, then maybe they didn't deserve it in the first place.
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05-02-19 05:51 PM
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pennylessz : She just called me a little while ago and has a new phone. I'm going to take it slow and see how things play out. No matter what happens, I still love her, and that will never change. I just need to control what I do with that love. It's not about what she does as much as it is how I handle it. It's my hope, this will evolve into an actual relationship.

I also want to get back to using this downtime from work to focus on some video games on Vizzed. I'm playing Zelda right now and want to catch up on all of that and go back to using the site for that instead of all this drama. I want to also find a way to spend time with my girl as well doing something fun instead of getting in trouble. Things definitely need to change for both of us.
pennylessz : She just called me a little while ago and has a new phone. I'm going to take it slow and see how things play out. No matter what happens, I still love her, and that will never change. I just need to control what I do with that love. It's not about what she does as much as it is how I handle it. It's my hope, this will evolve into an actual relationship.

I also want to get back to using this downtime from work to focus on some video games on Vizzed. I'm playing Zelda right now and want to catch up on all of that and go back to using the site for that instead of all this drama. I want to also find a way to spend time with my girl as well doing something fun instead of getting in trouble. Things definitely need to change for both of us.
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05-02-19 08:24 PM
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Read this with a bit of salt, and sorry for the ordeal you both been through.

Leading off what you saw after the accident, the shock was bad.

You mentioned that your partner is autistic, an complex condition that will take a lot of love or patience to understand. Some never try to.

Symptoms include difficulty on basics we take for granted, acting and reacting inappropriately. This varies from mild to severe, person to person. It's not always apparent.

It's a commitment that most are not prepared, or able to make.
It takes more compassion than some are made of, support from family and friends.

If you can't find a way to make it work, then you are both better off apart. Life throws challenges all the time.

Maybe this will not be relevant or needed, but if it is, hope it helps you both.

Wish you all the best.
Read this with a bit of salt, and sorry for the ordeal you both been through.

Leading off what you saw after the accident, the shock was bad.

You mentioned that your partner is autistic, an complex condition that will take a lot of love or patience to understand. Some never try to.

Symptoms include difficulty on basics we take for granted, acting and reacting inappropriately. This varies from mild to severe, person to person. It's not always apparent.

It's a commitment that most are not prepared, or able to make.
It takes more compassion than some are made of, support from family and friends.

If you can't find a way to make it work, then you are both better off apart. Life throws challenges all the time.

Maybe this will not be relevant or needed, but if it is, hope it helps you both.

Wish you all the best.
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05-03-19 01:27 AM
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I'm glad to see this thread took a positive turn. Keep me posted, okay? And maybe post every now and then.

Who am I kidding, no one posts anymore. It's not the cool thing to do. But I still have to try.

Currently I'm playing For the Frog the Bell Tolls. It's a Japanese GB RPG with an English translation.
I'm glad to see this thread took a positive turn. Keep me posted, okay? And maybe post every now and then.

Who am I kidding, no one posts anymore. It's not the cool thing to do. But I still have to try.

Currently I'm playing For the Frog the Bell Tolls. It's a Japanese GB RPG with an English translation.
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05-03-19 11:55 AM
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pennylessz : I figured I'd start up a new thread because my other thread about all of this wasn't getting any responses. It's too bad my game reviews and all don't get as much attention. I just need a place to let all this out sometimes, but I'm starting to feel better. If it works it works, if it doesn't we did make a few memories. I hope we can make some more.
pennylessz : I figured I'd start up a new thread because my other thread about all of this wasn't getting any responses. It's too bad my game reviews and all don't get as much attention. I just need a place to let all this out sometimes, but I'm starting to feel better. If it works it works, if it doesn't we did make a few memories. I hope we can make some more.
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05-04-19 07:39 PM
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Guys, things have took another turn for the worse. She never called me back Friday even after I left her a couple of texts. She just got a new phone because her former roommates were leaving threatening messages on her other phone. But yesterday when I tried calling her, she had the phone turned off. I'm really getting tired of her drama.

We never even went out on an actual date where both of us had a good time. I've been in another relationship that ended badly, but at least with that one I had fun in it. This one has been nothing but work, and I feel like she's the cause of my injury even though she wasn't the one driving. It was her choice of friends that got me hurt and her decision to go to that club.

I did love her, but I don't know if I do anymore. I still want us to be together, but I'm not reaching out to her anymore. If this reply doesn't get any responses, I'm just making another thread about this. I want to get back to playing games on Vizzed, heal up, and get back to work. I kind of hope she isn't there anymore. I just want to forget her and meet someone better. This relationship was no good!
Guys, things have took another turn for the worse. She never called me back Friday even after I left her a couple of texts. She just got a new phone because her former roommates were leaving threatening messages on her other phone. But yesterday when I tried calling her, she had the phone turned off. I'm really getting tired of her drama.

We never even went out on an actual date where both of us had a good time. I've been in another relationship that ended badly, but at least with that one I had fun in it. This one has been nothing but work, and I feel like she's the cause of my injury even though she wasn't the one driving. It was her choice of friends that got me hurt and her decision to go to that club.

I did love her, but I don't know if I do anymore. I still want us to be together, but I'm not reaching out to her anymore. If this reply doesn't get any responses, I'm just making another thread about this. I want to get back to playing games on Vizzed, heal up, and get back to work. I kind of hope she isn't there anymore. I just want to forget her and meet someone better. This relationship was no good!
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