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Anger and hatred
If there was a real-life Anakin Skywalker, it's me.
If there was a real-life Anakin Skywalker, it's me.
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Jake-A-Roonie
05-31-05 01:53 AM
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Anger and hatred
05-31-05 01:53 AM
Jake-A-Roonie is Offline
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To put it simply, when I saw Star Wars Episode III, I related to Anakin very deeply. (This thread isn't about Star Wars, but just about how similar I am to Anakin.) I totally understood the anger he felt against Obi-Wan. Heck, during their fight, when he grabbed Obi-Wan by the neck and started leaning in with his lightsaber, did you see that look in his eyes? That looked like me lately. 
So what would drive me to such intense hate? Well, also like the deal with Anakin, it all had to do with a girl. To protect the names of the real people, I'll change them... Um, I'll just go ahead and call them Obi-Wan and Padmé.
About 8 months ago, I met Padmé and we fell for each other, but it was a long-distance relationship. We were just really close friends. REALLY close. I've learned what the word "soulmate" means because of her. Describing in detail my friendship with her to long-married couples, the common reaction they showed was jealosy that they couldn't have had the kind of deep relationship she and I had when they were our age! But, she felt like she needed someone who could be physically there to be with her, and there was a guy she liked, so she asked my permission to go out with him. (There's an example of our closeness...she actually sought MY permission for that!) I felt that he would be only a temporary fix and from all I knew of her, she and he wouldn't have good chemistry. I openly told her that, and said for her to do as she wanted. So she went out with him and, as I predicted, it didn't last. Padmé and I resumed our close friendship. Later, she met Obi-Wan. Similar situation...she asked my permission, and like a fool, I granted it, thinking that he would again be only temporary. Then Padmé seemed to get more distant from me. Something was wrong... She was short and curt in her conversations, and I felt like something deeper had gone awry too. She started to hint at this one night, and when she was afraid to tell me, I immediately asked, "You had sex with him, didn't you?" She said yes, that she had. Fortunately she was not pregnant. I advised her to break it off with Obi-Wan immediately, and she considered it for a very long time. At first, I was calm and sat back to let her make her decision. But as it dragged on into a couple of months, I realized she wouldn't give him up easily and began to compete with him for her affections, constantly proving to her exactly why I advised her to break up with him, proving that I loved her more deeply and had a far greater respect for her than he did. (After all, if he truly loved and respected her, he wouldn't have dared take her virginity before they were married.) After a very heated, stressful series of arguments between me, Obi-Wan and Padmé, I finally realized he had changed her. Not just by taking her virginity, but he had made a severe impact on her personality. (Like I said, she was short and curt in her conversations.) She wasn't the Padmé I'd fallen in love with. She hadn't been ever since she'd met him. I realized that the woman I've been fighting to protect from Obi-Wan no longer exists. So that's where the anger comes in. With nothing left to fight for, I had to give in and give up. But now I absolutely hate him, and I don't hold her as dear to my heart as I used to either. So now, not only has he stolen her from me, but from my point of view, he's killed the "old" Padmé, the one who was sweet and kind and gentle. So from where I sit, he's a thief, an adulterer and a murderer, and he's evil. Can I change my user name to Anakin? Geez... Anyone have any thoughts?
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05-31-05 09:12 AM
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I'm sorry to hear your situation there...  *hug*
It just goes to show how much you care for her, considering you went through all that just to try and get her back. If I had a guy to do that for me, I'd take him over anyone. (unless he is a crazy stalker.. >.>). Since this girl of yours didn't realize this, it's best to forget her, however hard that may be. My sister was changed by her current boyfriend, and I've realized that I'll never have an older sister to talk to about things anymore, because she simply doesn't care. v.v
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05-31-05 02:40 PM
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I had alot of anger and hate when I seen that movie too. I don't know why, but I just felt like killin' someone. There were these three teens outside the theater that I went to talkin' and stuff and I just felt like jumping on them and beating them to death...it was pretty wierd... -------------------- |
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06-06-05 03:04 AM
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*huggles*
Jake, I'm so sorry. I understand what you're going though, as you understand me. It's a horrible thing to happen.
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06-07-05 08:10 AM
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OH man, it sounds like Padme isn't the same Padme that you loved... I would find a Leya or somthing? Mabey even a Twilek? But if sounds like she was evil and was using you as a backup plan. Did you ever think about going to wherever she lived?
Next year I'll go to college and depart from my gf. She is worried somthing like that will happen. I don't really like talking on the phone so I don't know either. I'll just have to play it by ear. Next year I'll go to college and depart from my gf. She is worried somthing like that will happen. I don't really like talking on the phone so I don't know either. I'll just have to play it by ear. -------------------- http://www.geocities.com/codycos/ MY HOMEPAGE SIGN the guestbook... Its the coolest |
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06-07-05 09:09 AM
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Moving down to Houston really isn't an option right now... And besides, if she isn't the same Padmé anymore, there's not much point. When I found her, I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or anything... And certainly not one who lived 6 hours away! But yeah, I'll definitely be looking for one who lives no more than 1 hour away now, LOL... Unless Charmaine or her friend Melissa Polinar become possible candidates... I might make an exception! 
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07-03-05 01:09 PM
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While I've been in a solid relationship for the last 4 years I can't sympathise so much with your girl trouble but I know how it feels to have difficulty controling your rage.
Some times it seems like there are no redeeming qualities to the world at all. People are lazy/ selfish/ arrogant/ obnoxious. The place where you live is dirty/ cramped/ depressing. Everything seems to be too expensive/ shoddy/ out of reach. You can't turn on the TV without something pissing you off on the news or some fresh faced soulless robot is singing some ghost written soulless piece of crap on MTV which will make them a millionaire. JUST WHERE'S THE JUSTICE IN THE WORLD? The thing is as much as you want to start punching noses, gouging eyes and kicking throats you must rise above it. Try to focus on what's good in the world. your own achievements/ releigion/ your friends/ whatever. Don't let the people who annoy you get you down. They have their path, you have to learn to focus on yours and release all that is negative. When you learn to rise above it you will feel a sort of euphoria that will feel better than beating the crap out of the guy who's been pissing you off. To quote a film which influenced my outlook on life a lot (American History X) "Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pi**ed off all the time) Hope that helps. Some times it seems like there are no redeeming qualities to the world at all. People are lazy/ selfish/ arrogant/ obnoxious. The place where you live is dirty/ cramped/ depressing. Everything seems to be too expensive/ shoddy/ out of reach. You can't turn on the TV without something pissing you off on the news or some fresh faced soulless robot is singing some ghost written soulless piece of crap on MTV which will make them a millionaire. JUST WHERE'S THE JUSTICE IN THE WORLD? The thing is as much as you want to start punching noses, gouging eyes and kicking throats you must rise above it. Try to focus on what's good in the world. your own achievements/ releigion/ your friends/ whatever. Don't let the people who annoy you get you down. They have their path, you have to learn to focus on yours and release all that is negative. When you learn to rise above it you will feel a sort of euphoria that will feel better than beating the crap out of the guy who's been pissing you off. To quote a film which influenced my outlook on life a lot (American History X) "Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pi**ed off all the time) Hope that helps. -------------------- |
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08-08-05 02:43 AM
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An update:
PADME LIVES! She finally listened objectively to me one night about how she has changed, and realized that I was right *gasp*... This sort of started spelling the end for them... Long story short, Padmé and Obi-Wan are FINALLY no longer together. I've been giving her comfort since she does still like him, but it looks like that's finally out of the way.
Now...surprise, surprise...guess who's interested in li'l ol' me again. Padmé. Was I interested in her and looking forward to going out with her once she and Obi-Wan broke up? ...No. Am I now? ...Yes... Admittedly. I told her I am still too scarred from other stuff to be interested in ANYONE right now, but I'm also pretending to be a teeny bit interested in someone else. The "someone else" is too young for me, but Padmé doesn't know that.  We'll see how it turns out though... Hope is alive.
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08-08-05 02:55 AM
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Just tell her to come with you to Las Vegas, then you two can get married and she can come live with you. DAMN I'M GOOD. -------------------- http://www.geocities.com/codycos/ MY HOMEPAGE SIGN the guestbook... Its the coolest 
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08-08-05 10:49 AM
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Don't pretend.. that's cruel. You're lying to her.
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08-08-05 12:03 PM
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Well, what if I know that she'd do the same thing?
I mean, seriously, she's just come out of a really serious relationship and I don't need to be the "rebound guy" as she would call it. Plus, with their relationship having been so freaky that it even hurt me, I'M not 100% sure I'm still interested in her either. So it's not really un-true. She and I both need time to think, and to figure out how we feel about each other and everything else. So that's what it is...basically a stalling tactic.
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08-13-05 01:51 AM
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I personally say don't go back, while she may be closer to the girl you once knew, she is not the same... and you know her darkside now. It's up to you, but if you do go back be aware that there is always the chance that the situation may repeat itself, if not with Obi-Wan then with someone else.
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08-13-05 02:48 PM
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Well I think he wants to go back so he doesn't ask what if later. I think that is part of it.
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