Granted. You go back in time and become your grandfather's nephew son twice removed uncle of your half-sisters son. The world explodes. Everyone is killed.

I wish for my body to not require sleep, and function normally without it. (No Drawbacks. )

granted, too bad somebody shoots you in the head right after you get that ability. you are now a vegetable that can't sleep

I wish that the weather people stopped lying about possible snow/icy precipitation

Granted. Everything they say is now true. One Weatherman accidentally says "It's not like it's snowing meteors people.." and 5 minutes later, giant meteor-sized snowballs are hurled at the earth, causing it go to into another Ice Age. Various Rich people survive by bunkering themselves and through advanced genetic research allow themselves to not age. Ever. Once the Ice Age clears, the world begins anew with the Dinosaurs once again. Bush accidentally mates with a Cavewoman and dooms the entire proceeding human race with horrible horrible genes. The world then explodes.

I wish for fire powers, along with extreme resistance to heat and explosions.

granted but all fireand heat is soon replaced with water

i wish to live longer

granted, but you live the las 70 years of your life in a coma

I wish that i had a personal chef as skilled as masaharu morimoto

Granted, in a conspiracy theory, he poisons you with his amazing Octopus.

I wish for this thread to continue living.

granted, but all of a sudden, everything gets replaced with spam

i wish that i got a good grade on my math test

Granted, however the moment you receive your test and you look at the grade, Armageddon happens. The world cracks in half, and opens up the way into hell. Demons pour out, devouring, mauling, and killing anyone they see. Satan rises up from the crack, and immediately blocks out Heaven, not allowing anyone salvation. He can be seen sitting high on the platform in the air, cackling maniacally. You try to run. You and a group of friends manage to barricade yourselves in a church, however your supplies are limited, and so are your friends. There is nothing to do but wait, and wait. Your supplies run out, and you are forced to cannibalize your best friend. Years go by, you are malnourished, you are on the brink of death, you have eaten your last friends arm, and you are quite insane. The walls are covered will the blood of your comrades, and you as well. You talk to yourself during the day, and scream insanely during the night. Sleep does not come. All hope is lost. The screams of the innocent can be heard outside, as the finaly innocent man is sent to hell and enslaved. Death finally grips you as it pulls your soul to heaven. It begins a slow ascent, and begins to speed up. Rays of Hope and Light flash from the sky as your soul yearns and reaches for Heaven. Suddenly, a Demon jumps up, grabs your soul, and forces it back into your unmoving body. You awaken with a start, asking, "Am I dead?". The demon replies: Yes, but you sure as hell aren't in heaven! You are now a living skeleton, forced to live your entire immortal life watching as your friends, family, and the world is sent and enslaved by Hell. All thats left on your bony body, that has any meaning at all, is the teared off piece of your Math test that says "A+" thats stuck to your forehead.

I wish for a Pony.

i can't believe you bothered to write that much...

granted, the gray pony kicks you into the sea and you drown just like your 5 brothers (riders to the sea sucked)

i wish that i could fire mah lazah

(Indeed, I write down such a horrifying story of Hell and end it with "I wish for a Pony". ;P Besides, I was Bored and I recently played Eversion.)

Granted, you destroy the White House. You get locked up. You die.

I wish for ownership of the World Wide Web.

granted, you get sued immediately and lose possession of it; power to the people!

i wish that i could control neyro's mind

Granted, however the moment you get into my head, I open up a connection to yours. You loop through this so many times that you shut down your brain and die.

I wish for a tame Dragon that loves me.

granted; the dragon is tame for all of 5 seconds before he slow roasts you until you are medium-rare, then eats you

I wish it wasn't colder in PA then Moscow right now

Granted, but then you have to hear Al Gore whine at you for the next year and a half.

I wish RI wasn't such a lonely state...

Granted, it no longer is a state. The new independent Rhode Island declares war on the U.S. The U.S. blows the ex-state to smithereens

I wish I had a new DS

Granted, but then as soon as you receive it and turn it on it says "Must be 18 + before you can use it, then it self-destructs

I wish i knew Martial Arts

granted, you are now a 9th degree blackbelt and go to an international competition in Japan. before your first fight, you forget everything you learned and after a merciless ass-kicking, wake up in a hospital only to find out that your insurance won't cover your bill and that you have several broken bones as well as cancer. After many many surgeries, you finally leave the hospital only to find out one day later that you contracted a flesh eating strep bacteria from a gym mat while trying to relearn the art. you are back in the hospital. it takes another month to heal. when you finally are allowed to leave again, you accidentally fall out of the 5th story window. you die, but at least you don't have to go back to the hospital (how's that for corrupting a wish )

I wish that I had Call of Duty 5

Granted. Not only did you have Call of Duty 5 but u were actually warped inside of the game where you have to battle your way through all of the missions. You made good progress and made it to mission 3 only to botch it up at the end of the level. You blow up from a claymore mine that you didnt see camouflaged in the ground. (OHHH thats gotta hurt )

I wish Konami made a new Castlevania game on the PS3 ¬_¬

granted, but it's totally glitched and makes all systems that play it catch fire. also you get AIDS

I wish i had more trident gum

Granted. u have an unlimited supply of trident gum but failed to realize that the gum was C-4 trident gum All of your teeth get destroyed so now you must buy dentures to replace your missing teeth

I wish i had vacation time at my job to take a few weeks off from work