So there's this woman who I can't seem to forget about, no matter what, simply because she's so goshdarn gorgeous. Let's call her A.

Years ago, she add-deleted me on my old Facebook account (I have a new one now because I wanted one again) just so my notifications would say she accepted. I guess she either did so because she had no idea who I was, or was because her straight best friend (who I knew - let's call her B), told her about the crush I had on her (B - I had a crush on B at one point too but I got over it eventually, but that's another story)(B probably told A about the crush I had on B at the time).

Both A and B went to middle school with me. I knew but no longer talk to B, but I've never even spoken to A. I found out A and B were best friends through social media.

I recently found A on Tinder and super liked her, so I'm pretty sure she's bi/les/pan like I am, but I never got a notification saying we matched & it's been a while, so I assume she swiped left on me, or doesn't go on often.

I'm at least half sure I saw A in her neighborhood when I was meeting my parents at this restaurant we all loved, but no longer go to (not sure why - they just never invite me to it anymore), or at least someone who looked like her, but I didn't say hi because I wasn't totally sure if it was her or not, and even if it was, I wasn't sure of what she thought of me.

I also have a jacket that is very similar to the one A had in one of her social media profile pictures, but I'm not sure if I should toss it or not because it's in perfect condition and fits me perfectly!

Also, I know a lot of people who are unrelated to but remind me of her because they look kinda similar to her & are culturally from the same area she's from.

I'm scared to add A again on social media because I'm afraid she will reject my request.

What to do? How can I forget about this woman (A)? The thought of her annoys me, especially because as I said, I'm pretty sure we'll never see each other again.

I am usually able to forget about my crushes & I've never had one as intense as this one. I've had this one for years.

Sorry if this is confusing - feel free to ask any questions.

tornadocam : Alright thanks. Maybe I will try again - not too sure yet. I mean, she fake added me before, years ago, as I have said, so I'm kinda scared....

xxeliza321xx :   It is not called fake adding, Eliza. It is adding by mistake and then realizing and correcting the mistake or having second thoughts about who you associate with. You talk about doing this all the time. No. That person is a person. That person does not passive / aggressively look for ways to dig at people. That is just unfairly projecting your negative feelings stemming from desperation onto people when they avoid you. Stop that. It will not do you any good to single out and obsess about a person.

 Repeat after me. There is plenty of time to get to know people. I am in no hurry. It does not matter whether or not uninterested people escape from my life.

 We good?


  P3

 
 Oh. Keep the jacket and stop associating a nice jacket with any other person that wears it but yourself.  You probably look stunning in it.

Postman3 : There is plenty of time to get to know people. I am in no hurry. It does not matter whether or not uninterested people escape from my life. Yes, we are good.

Postman3 : So add & message her again or no?

Why toss a perfectly good jacket? If you know you do not wear it much,donate it,and let someone else get some use out of it. As for your dilemma,since you are trying to forget about her,just do not add her. I know,it is not much help here,but if you trying to forget about someone,best to do a clean break.

Oldschool777 : No I think that's a lot of help! Thanks !

xxeliza321xx :   I am not fully apprised of the exact situation on the ground in New York City. I do not know any person you know. As Sally Field famously said to Tom Hanks in the feature film Forrest Gump, "You are just going to have to figure that out for yourself."

 Talk the issue over with the counselor you see next time you have a chat with the fellow. Maybe he will have new insight when he hears about how much this incidental encounter with the drop dead gorgeous woman has meant to you. If it is anything more than a casual fancy, there will need to be some emotions put into words so you may examine them properly.

 P3

Postman3 : that's actually a smart idea - thanks!