Oldschool41 : If I have an expertise, it would not be in child psychology, but a parent, when punishing, should always choose whatever punishment is most effective at teaching the child how to act. Only positive reinforcement will not teach a child there are negative consequences in the world. Both are necessary. So, the negative reinforcement of spanking is permissible, but must be used appropriately.

Oh, and for the record, I was spanked.

This is a really good debate topic. I was spanked when I was a child, it kept me from doing whatever I did wrong the second time. I personally think this works really well but then again, when you really think about it, it could be considered a form of child abuse because you are in fact, hitting a child. I have to say though, as long as you are creating any type of physical injury, I think it's alright. I don't think I was ever bruised. It was only really red after so my opinion is, I think it is a good way to punish a child, AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T LEAVING ANY PHYSICAL DAMAGE. (Emphasis on that). It is a lot better than some other things that could be done. I saw on Dr. Phil that there were moms putting tobasco sauce in their children's mouths which is in fact bodily harmful.

I think spanking has it's place in raising a child but only in certain situations. It should not be the first thing parents use to teach their children. I also think it should be limited to a single swat on the bum. Anything more borders on, or becomes, abusive.

I think an effort to teach a child using other methods should be used first and only in serious situations (something potentially life threatening) or when the child doesn't respond to any other attempts at teaching should spanking be used.

geeogree : I completely agree with you on that one. It should not be the first thing that happens. It should be used as a last resort and it should never be too hard. (PS. Sorry for the sandwich post, just had to agree)

MoblinGardens : I actually disagree about the last resort thing. The last resort of any parent should be to pass the buck to someone else not as invested in the current situation or to send the kid away. I actually think spanking should come before the "last resort" because once you hit the "last resort" moment you are more likely to be frustrated by the situation and instead of spanking once, you end up spanking multiple times.

I think there has to be consistency though, and warning. Tell the child if they continue a certain behavior that it will result in a spanking. If they know beforehand that that is a possible result of their behavior then I don't see a problem with it.


I also mean no disrespect to anyone here but having an opinion on spanking (and parenting in general) when you have no children makes me laugh. Of course you want to develop ideas of what you want to do but until you have kids you have no idea how you will act or react to the things they do. I love the "DINK's" who think they would be better parents but have no actual experience in the matter.

geeogree : I don't have any children (Which is good because I am only 15) but I have actually had this same debate with my parents. So really, in some ways, I do not know what I am talking about, but I am talking about what happened in my childhood. I also did not mean by the statement "Last resort" as in something serious, I meant as in i.e. Child is not listening. A last resort for something in that context.

Txgangsta : You confuse what Negative Reinforcement is. Punishment is not negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement is when you take away a stimulus that is unpleasant when the desired behavior/action is done. For example, having a kid hold a bar of soap in their mouth until they decided to tell the truth is negative reinforcement. You introduce the unpleasant stimulus (bar of soap in the mouth), and only take away the negative stimulus once the desired behavior is done (telling the truth). Putting a bar of soap in the kids mouth because they lied/swore/etc is punishment, which is making them associate a bad behavior with a bad stimulus. This is off topic and not exactly an important detail, but I felt like clearing it up when I saw you were using the term negative reinforcement as though it meant the same as punishment.

I think that when it comes to simple spanking, people just need to learn to mind their own business instead of crying out child abuse just because they don't agree with it. As long as a parent has a legitimate reason and don't let it get out of hand, it is all right. If the kid gets hurt (bruises, cuts, scrapes, welts that last for a while, etc), then it has been taken to far.

rcarter2 : Na I think your first paragraph on the negative reinforcement is on topic. Since a parent could perhaps spank a child repeatedly in order for the child to confess to a misbehavior or accident the child caused.

True. But I wouldn't really condone on using spanking as the method of negative reinforcement. That is a pretty easy way to go from spanking to taking it to far and borderline abuse.

Oldschool41 :  I got spanked and I still carry that form of disciplinary action through to my boy, so I have no problem with it as long as it is not done out of brute anger or frustration.  It has to be justified and not just a slap out of the blue.  Child has to be warned first and explain why he / she should not do that, touch that, throw that etc.  Warning then needs to go over into action if he/she is still not obeying.  If you just keep on dishing out warnings, your child will push you to the limit and end up not respecting your word and will eventually hurt himself / herself, depending on what it was that he or she was doing or was not supposed to be doing.  It's also very important to explain why they have been punished, but at the same time it's also very important to give positive feedback when they do something right and when they listen to you.  I see spanking as a "physical boundary" which of course disciplines and keeps your child secure and safe.  Much like an electric fence around a yard   Without the fence your kid will just run off and get hit by a car.  

This is a delicate question I think. I would say yes to spanking, although I don't have any kids. This means they need such discipline in my opinion, but not a severe spanking to where it's abuse. I will admit I was subject to severe 'spanking' with a paddle that my childhood step dad homemade with 50 holes in it 'to make it hurt more', but kids do need to be disciplined with a old fashioned spanking in my opinion.

rcarter2 : Ah, I did get my terms mixed up. I thought negative reinforcement was anything under the banner of correcting behavior by causing unpleasant stimulus. Thanks for the correction.

I have been spanked. I personally prefer that over getting the old fashioned punishment of the stick, cord or metal pipe. Also, I agree it should be up to the parents on when and how to do this, just so long as it is un needed. It seems to work. Just so long as they don't beat the kid senseless.

xXBad-InfluenceXx :  "I personally prefer that over getting the old fashioned punishment of the stick, cord or metal pipe."
Metal pipe??!!

I was spanked as a boy, and I personally don't see any harm in it.
It is a firm way to let a child know that if you do something wrong, you know exactly what you are going to get.
Both myself and my girlfriend have already decided to take a spanking role with our kids (when the time comes)
We are both firm believers in the spare the rod spoil the child option.
I for one am grateful for the spankings growing up, if I never got them who knows how much trouble I would have gotten in to.
Or even which direction my life went in, in a career stand point.

SoL@R : Almost anything can be used to spank a child. Sometimes its a stick, a cord, a wooden spoon, a paddle (old catholic school nun punishment), a frying pan, or a metal pipe. Anything can be used as long as you use enough force that a mark on the child doesn't appear.

Oldschool41 :  I just found it "funny".  Metal pipe just sounds cruel man  Frying pan - another good one.  

xXBad-InfluenceXx : "or metal pipe." Just gotta say, I don't envy your childhood... lol.

My opinion? I think spanking is a very good way to 'discourage' your child from doing something. I've been spanked, quite a few times.... (of course, that has nothing to do with how good of a kid I am, why would you think that? *said with mild sarcasm*) It definitely worked. I don't do that stuff anymore, or at least not nearly as often. Spanking works.

I think spankings are good as well. (I know, y'all are thinking I'm going all Biblical on ya, but this is the basis for my thinking) The Bible talks of the 'rod of correction' (Proverbs 13:24), and how a man who doesn't discipline his kid with it hates his kid.