FieldsBros}{ :
Q : What's the difference between a dog entering a doghouse and a politician running for office?
A: One lies to get in; the other gets in to lie.

FieldsBros}{ :

At the cia they were training the next best assassin and they narrowed the pool of applicants to the top 3.  They explained to the 3 hopefuls that to be an assassin you have to follow orders without question and they said they understood. 

For the final test they took the first of the three and explained he had to go into a room to find a person sitting at a table.  A gun was on the table.  If he shot the person dead then he passed the test.  He agreed but as he entered the room he saw that the person at the table was his wife.  He left the room and explained he could kill anyone but not his wife, that was crazy.  They told him he failed the test. 

For the second applicant, they explained the test was similar but it was a different person at the table.  He entered the room, and a few minutes later he returned.  Well?  What happened?  They asked.  He explained that he tried to obey but he could not kill his wife.  They said he failed too. 

They had a similar test for the third man.  They sent him into the room.  From inside the room, they heard 8 gunshots, and then the sounds of a ruckus.  The man returned from the room. 

Well?  What happened?  They asked. 

The man said...

The gun was filled with blanks, so I had to beat her to death with the chair.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

this is a good joke .

I apologize in advance, and no offense to anyone. So these to dudes where going at it in the bedroom when the phone rang, the one guy says [I have to answer the phone, don't nut til I get back] So the guy goes and answers the phone and when he gets back, hes in total shock. There is splurge all over the room. The guy said, I though I told you not to splurge until I got back, the other dude said, [ I DIDN'T, I FARTED!]

FieldsBros}{ : Two scientists walk into a bar, the first one says "I would like some h2o please" and the second one says " I would like some h2o2" He died shortly after. LOL

FieldsBros}{ : Wait a second... this guy hasn't been active on vizzed since 2 minutes after he made this thread...

FieldsBros}{ : 1:why is a divorce so expensive? Because its worth it
2:micheal jordan,a hippie,steve jobs,and david schiwmmer are on a plane, the pilot says"there is good and bad news, the bad is that the plane is crashing into an ocean and we cant swim, the good is tha there are 4 parachutes,the pilot then takes one and hops off,jordan says the world needs great athletes and takes aparachute same with steve jobs when he said the world needs smart people. David says the hippie should take the last parachute, but the hippie says that the smart genius steve took his back pack by accident (:

FieldsBros}{ : Guy1: hey man i want to ask you something Guy2:Yes Guy:1Today Everthing just kept coming my way Guy2:that,s because your going the wrong Direction on the highway Man Guy:1Oh

why did the dog cross the road? TO pee on my tire >

FieldsBros}{ : when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him i told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
My teacher: Where is your homework?
Me:It committed suicide, had too many problems.
Have you been shopping lately, there selling lives at the mall you should get one.

A burglar watches a house for a few days and when hes sure no ones in it he goes in.when he goes in he hears a deep voice say god is watching you he looks around and he hears it again god is watching you.then he sees a parrot it says god is watching you.the burglar says awwww whats your name."Edward"."edward who names their parrot Edward?"."the same people who name their Pitt bull god!
-a original joke by poopso give me the 200 Viz I'm the funniest please!
I'm just gonna ramble on a bit so I can get more than 99 words so bye good bye!

FieldsBros}{ : So a guy walks into a bar........ouch

So a giraffe walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?"

Oh, I have a good one. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to eat himself at KFC! Wait.. I do not think that is so funny. What do you people think?

I apologize in advance I am a redneck myself! If you can put on make-up with your non smoking hand .....you might be a redneck.    If you work with your shirt off and so does your wife......you might be a redneck!!! I was on the side of the road and my car was smoking and a guy stopped and asked if I was having car trouble I said nope my car wanted a cigarette so I pulled over to let it smoke!!  If your bra is a darker color than your shirt....you might be a redneck!!

What did the guy say when he walked into the bar?
Ow!

There was an airplane,then it started falling because of heavy package.they said letss throw the indian!They said : no,he is a human,But what about the 4X4 Cars?Some one else said NO.They are expensive.But what about the refrigator?They said.Yeah.It's okay.

There was a man lost in a dessert,starving.how did he die?

The refrigator fell in him?

ok here is one. 

there were 2 farmers who were friends sitting in a cafe. on said to the other i am going to take college lessons now. so he went for his first day of college and the women there told his subjects were math history and logic. and he asked here whatwas logic so she gamme him an example. she said do you have a lawn mower and he said yes. then she said then you have a yard, and if you have a yard that means you have a house and if you have a house that means you have a family and if you have a family that means you have a wife and if you have a wife that means you are heterosexual. so on the we"ekend he met again with his and and his friend said what subjects are you taking. and he said to him math history and logic. and his friend said whats logic. so he said for example do you have a lawnmower? and his friend said no.....
 that means YO GAY !!