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03-28-24 11:44 PM

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Synaen
07-07-12 11:31 PM
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What is your opinion on online/long distance relationships?

 

07-07-12 11:31 PM
Synaen is Offline
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I've heard all the crap on long distance and online dating.

How some people claim that it isn't as serious, and or how it's considered invalid because the two hardly get to see each other.
I don't know about the ones who may read this who are in a long distance relationship, but I myself have been ridiculed for my decision.
It's not that it has ever made me think twice about it, but it's an annoyance that is hard to walk away from saying "Haters gonna hate" if you ask me.

I have been in a happy long distance relationship for nearly 3 years, and of course we have had our one day break-ups, and huge arguments ending in tears. If a relationship didn't have that, something would be wrong. My relationship has lasted ten fold what most "normal" relationships last nowadays. People just don't seem to understand that it isn't about the distance. It's about the commitment, the faith, and how much you love the person. It's about the "One day, we will be together, and all of this waiting will be payed off in a day." 

So, Vizzed users. What is your opinion on the matter?
I've heard all the crap on long distance and online dating.

How some people claim that it isn't as serious, and or how it's considered invalid because the two hardly get to see each other.
I don't know about the ones who may read this who are in a long distance relationship, but I myself have been ridiculed for my decision.
It's not that it has ever made me think twice about it, but it's an annoyance that is hard to walk away from saying "Haters gonna hate" if you ask me.

I have been in a happy long distance relationship for nearly 3 years, and of course we have had our one day break-ups, and huge arguments ending in tears. If a relationship didn't have that, something would be wrong. My relationship has lasted ten fold what most "normal" relationships last nowadays. People just don't seem to understand that it isn't about the distance. It's about the commitment, the faith, and how much you love the person. It's about the "One day, we will be together, and all of this waiting will be payed off in a day." 

So, Vizzed users. What is your opinion on the matter?
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07-08-12 03:48 PM
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First of all, congrats for your almost 3 years.

I agree with you completely in your opinion. I have also been a serious long distance relationship (Canada-France, so there is also the added language barrier) which was the happiest time of my life. We had our troubles as one would expect, but at the end of the day, our love kept us together despite everything else. I've had people say, "oh, it's not a real relationship, you're not actually together" but it's not like that at all. People just don't understand because they haven't experienced it themselves.

Unfortunately, mine only lasted 8 months due to a tragic accident, but if not for that, I know we would have been married one day.

I hope that you will have the chance to be together.
First of all, congrats for your almost 3 years.

I agree with you completely in your opinion. I have also been a serious long distance relationship (Canada-France, so there is also the added language barrier) which was the happiest time of my life. We had our troubles as one would expect, but at the end of the day, our love kept us together despite everything else. I've had people say, "oh, it's not a real relationship, you're not actually together" but it's not like that at all. People just don't understand because they haven't experienced it themselves.

Unfortunately, mine only lasted 8 months due to a tragic accident, but if not for that, I know we would have been married one day.

I hope that you will have the chance to be together.
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07-09-12 11:01 PM
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Approve of long distance relationships, especially considering I'm in one. It's not precisely that far... like a 7 hour coach ride I think. But as I cannot drive and neither can my Girlfriend I consider it to be a LDR. 

We get on really well plus the advantage of being in a LDR is the fact that you can't really annoy each other when you are in a foul mood. I mean you have the choice to interact with your partner, whilst in previous relationships where I have lived in the same house it kinda got a bit argumentative at times..

Anyways if you feel like you love someone it shouldn't matter how far the distance is
Approve of long distance relationships, especially considering I'm in one. It's not precisely that far... like a 7 hour coach ride I think. But as I cannot drive and neither can my Girlfriend I consider it to be a LDR. 

We get on really well plus the advantage of being in a LDR is the fact that you can't really annoy each other when you are in a foul mood. I mean you have the choice to interact with your partner, whilst in previous relationships where I have lived in the same house it kinda got a bit argumentative at times..

Anyways if you feel like you love someone it shouldn't matter how far the distance is
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07-09-12 11:33 PM
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I'm a fan of them in general.

I've been dating my current girlfriend for a year and a half... actually a little more than that. It'll be two years in November

We actually met online, and met face to face for the first time a few months ago once we got money out of the way...

It's totally worth it if both people are committed to it.
I'm a fan of them in general.

I've been dating my current girlfriend for a year and a half... actually a little more than that. It'll be two years in November

We actually met online, and met face to face for the first time a few months ago once we got money out of the way...

It's totally worth it if both people are committed to it.
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07-09-12 11:47 PM
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lots of people don't approve of them but I actually don't mind them, real life relationships can actually be harder then long distance ones, with real life relationships I've run in to way to many players and gotten crushed a lot but my current relationship is going much better. I just find they are better then real life ones.
lots of people don't approve of them but I actually don't mind them, real life relationships can actually be harder then long distance ones, with real life relationships I've run in to way to many players and gotten crushed a lot but my current relationship is going much better. I just find they are better then real life ones.
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07-10-12 08:06 AM
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Long distance relationships are good if you've already met the person and had a long-standing in-person relationship with them.  For example, I was dating a girl before I went into the Marines.  We stayed together because we had that base of understand and appreciation.  It worked.

I bag on long distance relationships where you've never met the person for several reasons.

1.  You've never met them.  Sure, you can send pics, skype, webcam, write each other.... but all that doesn't really define a person and who they are.  Maybe you can't stand this person and you meet them after three years of an online relationship and you think, "Wow, I don't like them in person."

2.  I think online relationships are a weak way to not put yourself up to be rejected.  Instead of being in person, talking to people and interacting with the other gender, you can get away with being smart, clever, and funny when you type.  It's not the same as talking to real people.

3.  You don't learn and enjoy all the fun stuff.  I sit quietly with my gf on our patio and we drink beer together.  We don't have to say things.  Or we snuggle up on the couch and watch tv or go to the bar and watch football.  It's fun to BE with someone.


If you use the internet to find someone you can connect with in real life, good for you.  If not, I think online relationships are basically cheating your way out of the potential for hurt.  Long distance relationships are fine if you've met each other.

Otherwise, what's the point?  Explain it to me, please.
Long distance relationships are good if you've already met the person and had a long-standing in-person relationship with them.  For example, I was dating a girl before I went into the Marines.  We stayed together because we had that base of understand and appreciation.  It worked.

I bag on long distance relationships where you've never met the person for several reasons.

1.  You've never met them.  Sure, you can send pics, skype, webcam, write each other.... but all that doesn't really define a person and who they are.  Maybe you can't stand this person and you meet them after three years of an online relationship and you think, "Wow, I don't like them in person."

2.  I think online relationships are a weak way to not put yourself up to be rejected.  Instead of being in person, talking to people and interacting with the other gender, you can get away with being smart, clever, and funny when you type.  It's not the same as talking to real people.

3.  You don't learn and enjoy all the fun stuff.  I sit quietly with my gf on our patio and we drink beer together.  We don't have to say things.  Or we snuggle up on the couch and watch tv or go to the bar and watch football.  It's fun to BE with someone.


If you use the internet to find someone you can connect with in real life, good for you.  If not, I think online relationships are basically cheating your way out of the potential for hurt.  Long distance relationships are fine if you've met each other.

Otherwise, what's the point?  Explain it to me, please.
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07-10-12 11:42 AM
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warmaker: 

I've felt stupid plenty of times while trying to be "Smart, clever, and funny" when I typed something to a girl. It's relatively the same thing in person. Once you've said something, it's said. 
I've also been hurt several times, and rejected on occasions.

And you're wrong about what you said about defining someone. When I went to visit my girlfriend, she was the same exact person in person as she was online. We still laughed about the same things, and acted how we would online. 

You know yourself it takes a good commitment while you're in a long distance relationship. But it doesn't take a "Long-standing in-person relationship" for a solid long distance relationship to work.

Now for your point. The whole point is to have enough faith that you will be able to sit on the patio and have a drink with your girl, and not having to say things, and snuggle up on the couch and watch tv.

Me and my girlfriend know we don't have those delightful things now, but we stay strong and know we will one day.
And what I get a lot is: "Why would you wait until one day, when you could have it right now?"
Well why would I want to do it with someone I don't care for that much?

There is a match for everyone, and it doesn't matter if she's half way across the world. If that person is yours, one day you will be together.

warmaker: 

I've felt stupid plenty of times while trying to be "Smart, clever, and funny" when I typed something to a girl. It's relatively the same thing in person. Once you've said something, it's said. 
I've also been hurt several times, and rejected on occasions.

And you're wrong about what you said about defining someone. When I went to visit my girlfriend, she was the same exact person in person as she was online. We still laughed about the same things, and acted how we would online. 

You know yourself it takes a good commitment while you're in a long distance relationship. But it doesn't take a "Long-standing in-person relationship" for a solid long distance relationship to work.

Now for your point. The whole point is to have enough faith that you will be able to sit on the patio and have a drink with your girl, and not having to say things, and snuggle up on the couch and watch tv.

Me and my girlfriend know we don't have those delightful things now, but we stay strong and know we will one day.
And what I get a lot is: "Why would you wait until one day, when you could have it right now?"
Well why would I want to do it with someone I don't care for that much?

There is a match for everyone, and it doesn't matter if she's half way across the world. If that person is yours, one day you will be together.

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07-11-12 03:10 PM
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LDR.

I honestly was in one years ago. It lasted nearly two years. I admit, yes if we were annoyed it was much easier to blow off steam. We didn't care about the distance, he would stay up late just to let me call him. We webcam'd, emailed, texted, used every source of communication.
I approve of LDR's if you and your partner are around the same age. 

I do not approve of it when the man or woman is 25 while you're still in high school. I had a friend who did that and it lasted 3 years and ended in a nasty break up. If you're still in school, i wouldn't approve if he/she was an adult and they were waiting for you. I'm sorry, I don't believe that and to me, isn't right.

I give you kudos for having a beautiful relationship (: 
I understand that some LDR's people lie and make themselves different on the internet, and I'm glad you found a real woman who stays true to herself. 

To those who may dislike having a non-LDR I suppose communication is key. I cannot stress that enough, and when a LDR communication comes a bit easier because they're so far away and you have to make the effort to talk to them.

There's a lot that can be said, though with the right guidelines and all LDR's are beautiful (:
LDR.

I honestly was in one years ago. It lasted nearly two years. I admit, yes if we were annoyed it was much easier to blow off steam. We didn't care about the distance, he would stay up late just to let me call him. We webcam'd, emailed, texted, used every source of communication.
I approve of LDR's if you and your partner are around the same age. 

I do not approve of it when the man or woman is 25 while you're still in high school. I had a friend who did that and it lasted 3 years and ended in a nasty break up. If you're still in school, i wouldn't approve if he/she was an adult and they were waiting for you. I'm sorry, I don't believe that and to me, isn't right.

I give you kudos for having a beautiful relationship (: 
I understand that some LDR's people lie and make themselves different on the internet, and I'm glad you found a real woman who stays true to herself. 

To those who may dislike having a non-LDR I suppose communication is key. I cannot stress that enough, and when a LDR communication comes a bit easier because they're so far away and you have to make the effort to talk to them.

There's a lot that can be said, though with the right guidelines and all LDR's are beautiful (:
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07-13-12 06:57 AM
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Well honestly, with long distance relationships, it takes a lot of love i mean i don't want to hurt anyone on here. The way i see it is if you can talk to him/her you know what he/she looks like and you both are happy with the long distance. Then i could see it working somewhat, but try and not let urself get hurt in the end.

"The heart is delicate as a rose. But every rose has its thorns. And every flower has its Flaw"

Well honestly, with long distance relationships, it takes a lot of love i mean i don't want to hurt anyone on here. The way i see it is if you can talk to him/her you know what he/she looks like and you both are happy with the long distance. Then i could see it working somewhat, but try and not let urself get hurt in the end.

"The heart is delicate as a rose. But every rose has its thorns. And every flower has its Flaw"

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07-20-12 10:47 PM
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I think it's possible to have and keep a long distance relationship. Be creative in how you interact with the other person and plan to see each other in person to see if that person is who you really like. After that if everything is good, that should give you the insurance of if you want to be with that person or not.
I think it's possible to have and keep a long distance relationship. Be creative in how you interact with the other person and plan to see each other in person to see if that person is who you really like. After that if everything is good, that should give you the insurance of if you want to be with that person or not.
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07-20-12 10:50 PM
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They can work, but both have to be faithfully in love with the other, or it will fail.
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07-20-12 10:59 PM
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I am in one right now. He's older than me. We've met in person and lived together for a few months, but due to money and immigration restraints we can't live together permanently for at least another year. I'm excited for the day when we move in together, I think it will be the best day of my life.

We Skype all the time and are in contact constantly. It's pretty much a normal relationship, except instead of hanging out we Skype together. The distance can be frustrating at times, obviously, but it doesn't make things impossible by any means.

Synaen : I agree, meeting him in person - he was exactly like he was on camera and over the phone.

And I know how you feel - I love him so much, the wait is worth it.
If I dumped him for someone else I feel it would be settling for less. To me, an emotional connection with someone is so much more important than a physical one, it's pointless to ruin the best relationship I've ever had just so I can get laid sooner. I'm interested in a serious commitment.
I am in one right now. He's older than me. We've met in person and lived together for a few months, but due to money and immigration restraints we can't live together permanently for at least another year. I'm excited for the day when we move in together, I think it will be the best day of my life.

We Skype all the time and are in contact constantly. It's pretty much a normal relationship, except instead of hanging out we Skype together. The distance can be frustrating at times, obviously, but it doesn't make things impossible by any means.

Synaen : I agree, meeting him in person - he was exactly like he was on camera and over the phone.

And I know how you feel - I love him so much, the wait is worth it.
If I dumped him for someone else I feel it would be settling for less. To me, an emotional connection with someone is so much more important than a physical one, it's pointless to ruin the best relationship I've ever had just so I can get laid sooner. I'm interested in a serious commitment.
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07-21-12 05:21 PM
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I use to be in one in this site called " crunchy roll " . I no longer go
on this site .I believe I was around 13 when I started dating this
21 year old guy on that website . At the time I didn't know any better
and today I feel very grateful that I didn't end up meeting him cause I realize
now that I was too young at the time and something could of happened 
to me . 

When I was dating him at the time we would send inbox's to each other every
time I had came home from school for about 2 - 6 hours . We were really close
and shared personal information with each other . I even told him my real first 
name and last name . He never did anything perverted with me and never
tried to . But when I turned 14 than 2 months passed he than would ask for some
thing like that but I always would laugh it out and change the subject . Four more
month's pass and now he is asking me to get an pass port and everything so I
can fly over to Canada to meet him. When he said that for the first time I was really
scared because I was thinking about going but I didn't want to leave my family , I
didn't know what to do . I started to really think about it and I just couldn't do it . I didn't
like him enough to leave my family . I was scared to tell him that so I just told him
"Now is not a good time , maybe later . " So I lied and decided to continue to talk to
him . I became very uncomfortable with the fact that he kept asking so eventually I
just stopped talking to him in general . 

I'm so glad that I decided not to go through it at all . After that experience I didn't do 
online dating for a few years until I turned 17 ( not a far gap , I know ) . But the last online
dating I did was an success , Thank you God . We are together off the net and things have been
good with me ever since . I been blessed and lucky that nothing happened to me when I
actually went to meet this my online lover .
I use to be in one in this site called " crunchy roll " . I no longer go
on this site .I believe I was around 13 when I started dating this
21 year old guy on that website . At the time I didn't know any better
and today I feel very grateful that I didn't end up meeting him cause I realize
now that I was too young at the time and something could of happened 
to me . 

When I was dating him at the time we would send inbox's to each other every
time I had came home from school for about 2 - 6 hours . We were really close
and shared personal information with each other . I even told him my real first 
name and last name . He never did anything perverted with me and never
tried to . But when I turned 14 than 2 months passed he than would ask for some
thing like that but I always would laugh it out and change the subject . Four more
month's pass and now he is asking me to get an pass port and everything so I
can fly over to Canada to meet him. When he said that for the first time I was really
scared because I was thinking about going but I didn't want to leave my family , I
didn't know what to do . I started to really think about it and I just couldn't do it . I didn't
like him enough to leave my family . I was scared to tell him that so I just told him
"Now is not a good time , maybe later . " So I lied and decided to continue to talk to
him . I became very uncomfortable with the fact that he kept asking so eventually I
just stopped talking to him in general . 

I'm so glad that I decided not to go through it at all . After that experience I didn't do 
online dating for a few years until I turned 17 ( not a far gap , I know ) . But the last online
dating I did was an success , Thank you God . We are together off the net and things have been
good with me ever since . I been blessed and lucky that nothing happened to me when I
actually went to meet this my online lover .
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07-22-12 04:18 AM
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You can have that kind of relationship but I prefer to have my girlfriend close to me
I mean, only thing you can literally do is chatting/video chatting with each other which (can) be very boring, but if you love someone, and you love him/her so much then is it worth the waiting
You can have that kind of relationship but I prefer to have my girlfriend close to me
I mean, only thing you can literally do is chatting/video chatting with each other which (can) be very boring, but if you love someone, and you love him/her so much then is it worth the waiting
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07-23-12 12:30 PM
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The term love is misunderstood.  I think people who claim to be in love over the internet are naive.I believe that people love the idea of someone who is "perfect" and to you, his or hers beauty and brilliance shines over her imperfection. You don't know her imperfection and you don't know anything about her.  Love is a personal matter not a convenient casual thing that just happens for no reason.   Love isn't a luxury.  I have made the mistake for believing I was in love with a girl.  Then I find out all of this other stuff, about her that made me think twice.  See, in writing, she was perfect for me.  In person , she has one too many flaws that doesn't flow with my beliefs.    She has way too many problems in real life and I would have gone to the end of the world to help her through them but I wasn't fortunate enough to.  I have strong beliefs, and she violated everyone of those beliefs besides for the shallow opinion I had of her.I think too many people go online and try to look for love rather than having love come to them.I played RuneScape, World of Warcraft and even Maple Story at one point.  I would see a bunch of kids and people trying to get together.  Trying to hard to make something happen.   It's just not real.  You can't fall in love with text writing and if you suggest otherwise, than you're a fool that has problems.  Because, I could impersonate a female and you're saying that all I'd need is to type some stupid perverted silly girly thing for you to fall for me?  Grow up.  There's a difference between Love at first sight and Falling for someone's typing in a chat room or chat board.You can't tell if you love each other until you meet up and meeting up in person is not the same as skype calls.Be there, be within their presence and see if you two click.   
Again, love isn't a luxury. 



The term love is misunderstood.  I think people who claim to be in love over the internet are naive.I believe that people love the idea of someone who is "perfect" and to you, his or hers beauty and brilliance shines over her imperfection. You don't know her imperfection and you don't know anything about her.  Love is a personal matter not a convenient casual thing that just happens for no reason.   Love isn't a luxury.  I have made the mistake for believing I was in love with a girl.  Then I find out all of this other stuff, about her that made me think twice.  See, in writing, she was perfect for me.  In person , she has one too many flaws that doesn't flow with my beliefs.    She has way too many problems in real life and I would have gone to the end of the world to help her through them but I wasn't fortunate enough to.  I have strong beliefs, and she violated everyone of those beliefs besides for the shallow opinion I had of her.I think too many people go online and try to look for love rather than having love come to them.I played RuneScape, World of Warcraft and even Maple Story at one point.  I would see a bunch of kids and people trying to get together.  Trying to hard to make something happen.   It's just not real.  You can't fall in love with text writing and if you suggest otherwise, than you're a fool that has problems.  Because, I could impersonate a female and you're saying that all I'd need is to type some stupid perverted silly girly thing for you to fall for me?  Grow up.  There's a difference between Love at first sight and Falling for someone's typing in a chat room or chat board.You can't tell if you love each other until you meet up and meeting up in person is not the same as skype calls.Be there, be within their presence and see if you two click.   
Again, love isn't a luxury. 



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07-23-12 04:47 PM
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zigimusprime: Heh. I would never say my girlfriend is perfect. I would never say anyone is perfect. You're wrong about many things, but I don't blame you. You seem to have fell in "love" at one point,  got hurt, and never trusted anyone else again. That's what happens to most people nowadays.

I didn't meet my girlfriend for the first two years I was with her. Then when I finally did, she was exactly the same. Sure, must online relationships won't work out, but that's the same exact situation to in person relationships. 

Naive people aren't people who say they love someone over the internet, and if they are, then I'm proud to be naive. If being in an online relationship means I'm not grown up, then I'll just stay immature. If I'm a fool for falling in love with a girl I met on a video game, then I'll be the proudest fool on Earth. And do you know what the best part is? The day when I'm waiting for my bride-to-be making her way down the isle to be by my side forever. That's the day I will look back on all of the people like you who said I was a fool, and naive, and immature, and I will laugh at them until the day I die.

Falling head over heels for someone you met online is far from "convenient." As a matter of fact, it's completely inconvenient.

Your concept on love is all wrong. The mistake you made wasn't falling in love with a girl. The mistake you made was pursuing love you had for a girl that had no love for you, and that, my sir, is naive. That is foolish, and that is immature.

If you think looking for love won't work, then you are also wrong. Ever heard of dating websites? (And I'm sure most of those relationships don't work out either, because most relationships DON'T work out). Those websites are for people who are looking for love, and while most of them don't work out, I can assure you that many do work out.

This is your story on online relationships: "I met a girl online. I fell in love with her, but soon found out she wasn't the person I thought she was." That happens all of the time no matter what type of relationship you're in. Here is a scenario: You meet a cute girl who seems to be innocent and kind. You two start talking, and you go on a few dates, and then you ask her out. And you soon fall in love with her by accident. Then one day you and your buddies go out to hang around, and you see your "girlfriend" with some other guy. Well, I guess you didn't know who she really was! And that happens all of the time. So do you give up on in person relationships forever? If everyone was like you, I guess they would.

You've let your little boo boo get in your way of your trust. Not all girls are like her, bro.

And by the way, love is a luxury. Some people just never come across the luxurious part of love, and it's very, very sad.

zigimusprime: Heh. I would never say my girlfriend is perfect. I would never say anyone is perfect. You're wrong about many things, but I don't blame you. You seem to have fell in "love" at one point,  got hurt, and never trusted anyone else again. That's what happens to most people nowadays.

I didn't meet my girlfriend for the first two years I was with her. Then when I finally did, she was exactly the same. Sure, must online relationships won't work out, but that's the same exact situation to in person relationships. 

Naive people aren't people who say they love someone over the internet, and if they are, then I'm proud to be naive. If being in an online relationship means I'm not grown up, then I'll just stay immature. If I'm a fool for falling in love with a girl I met on a video game, then I'll be the proudest fool on Earth. And do you know what the best part is? The day when I'm waiting for my bride-to-be making her way down the isle to be by my side forever. That's the day I will look back on all of the people like you who said I was a fool, and naive, and immature, and I will laugh at them until the day I die.

Falling head over heels for someone you met online is far from "convenient." As a matter of fact, it's completely inconvenient.

Your concept on love is all wrong. The mistake you made wasn't falling in love with a girl. The mistake you made was pursuing love you had for a girl that had no love for you, and that, my sir, is naive. That is foolish, and that is immature.

If you think looking for love won't work, then you are also wrong. Ever heard of dating websites? (And I'm sure most of those relationships don't work out either, because most relationships DON'T work out). Those websites are for people who are looking for love, and while most of them don't work out, I can assure you that many do work out.

This is your story on online relationships: "I met a girl online. I fell in love with her, but soon found out she wasn't the person I thought she was." That happens all of the time no matter what type of relationship you're in. Here is a scenario: You meet a cute girl who seems to be innocent and kind. You two start talking, and you go on a few dates, and then you ask her out. And you soon fall in love with her by accident. Then one day you and your buddies go out to hang around, and you see your "girlfriend" with some other guy. Well, I guess you didn't know who she really was! And that happens all of the time. So do you give up on in person relationships forever? If everyone was like you, I guess they would.

You've let your little boo boo get in your way of your trust. Not all girls are like her, bro.

And by the way, love is a luxury. Some people just never come across the luxurious part of love, and it's very, very sad.

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07-27-12 09:57 AM
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I'm actually, engaged.  I've only been hurt once but I licked my wounds and got over it.

About love not being a luxury, I think you have to redefine what luxury means to you.
To me, luxury means something that you can achieve and have that not everyone else can have.
Not everyone is capable or even willing to love.  From my understanding and observation within numerous communities, people confuse the term love and lust.  They confuse both the idea of love and lust for something that is only a figment of their imagination. You can only imagine how the other person on the other side of the computer screen acts in person.  You make it up in your mind what the ideal life would be with that person.  You cannot fully understand the complexity of the situation until you both serve it together in person.  It's not the same as tall tales of wishful thinking, dreaming and fantasies.    Hell, how does one girl date 10-20 different guys.  And claim to love all of them in the short period she shares with each of those guys.   Online dating is far from realistic. It's more of an optimistic idea for people who suffers from social anxiety.   Where they fear that being attached and close to something in reality would hurt too much to bare witness first hand.  I have sat and watched and observed and understood teenagers and adults even try and make things work long distance.  It will never work unless you meet up and spend a day with them.   That's all I'm saying. As opposed as I am to the idea of long distance online relationship, I do believe looking for dates online locally is fine.   In fact, I hooked up with my fiancee through her friend on facebook, thought she was pretty and decided to facebook her, asking for her number.  It wasn't  hard.  We met up and enjoyed each other's presence. 


It's a totally different story when everything revolves around the internet, webcam and chat messages. It cannot even compare to a real hands on physical relationship and anyone saying that online love is unconditional is delusional.  Optimism is great and dandy but realism is what your partner really wants. Whether it's he or she, your partner will insist on you being there with them. Otherwise, be virgins forever.  The idea of that is depressing. 

 
I'm actually, engaged.  I've only been hurt once but I licked my wounds and got over it.

About love not being a luxury, I think you have to redefine what luxury means to you.
To me, luxury means something that you can achieve and have that not everyone else can have.
Not everyone is capable or even willing to love.  From my understanding and observation within numerous communities, people confuse the term love and lust.  They confuse both the idea of love and lust for something that is only a figment of their imagination. You can only imagine how the other person on the other side of the computer screen acts in person.  You make it up in your mind what the ideal life would be with that person.  You cannot fully understand the complexity of the situation until you both serve it together in person.  It's not the same as tall tales of wishful thinking, dreaming and fantasies.    Hell, how does one girl date 10-20 different guys.  And claim to love all of them in the short period she shares with each of those guys.   Online dating is far from realistic. It's more of an optimistic idea for people who suffers from social anxiety.   Where they fear that being attached and close to something in reality would hurt too much to bare witness first hand.  I have sat and watched and observed and understood teenagers and adults even try and make things work long distance.  It will never work unless you meet up and spend a day with them.   That's all I'm saying. As opposed as I am to the idea of long distance online relationship, I do believe looking for dates online locally is fine.   In fact, I hooked up with my fiancee through her friend on facebook, thought she was pretty and decided to facebook her, asking for her number.  It wasn't  hard.  We met up and enjoyed each other's presence. 


It's a totally different story when everything revolves around the internet, webcam and chat messages. It cannot even compare to a real hands on physical relationship and anyone saying that online love is unconditional is delusional.  Optimism is great and dandy but realism is what your partner really wants. Whether it's he or she, your partner will insist on you being there with them. Otherwise, be virgins forever.  The idea of that is depressing. 

 
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07-27-12 01:25 PM
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zigimusprime: Okay, so basically, long distance relationships can't be real until the both meet for a day or two? Because my relationship was two years old before I saw my girlfriend for the first time, and even though it was for a week, it didn't make it any more official than it already was.

I can prove you wrong just from the fact that I told my girlfriend that I loved her unconditionally before I saw her, felt the same when I went to visit her, and felt the same when I came back home. I'm not trying to justify all online relationships, and I'm not even saying that everyone of them have a chance to work, because they don't. Some people just don't know how to hold a decent relationship, but that goes for every type of relationship, not just long distance ones.

You seem like you're close-minded (No insult intended) because you said Optimism is great and dandy, but realism is what we both want. Well of course realism is what we want. That's why we're optimistic to have the realism we desire.

You're acting like people in long distance relationships never plan to live together or anything. I was following everything you said until "Otherwise, be virgins forever." because I couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or not. I'm honestly not trying to insult you, but the only word that can describe that statement is that it was just plain stupid. 

Your definition on luxury is a part of what I explained. Not everyone finds luxury in love. But I've got it, and I'm in a long distance relationship. How do you explain that? Will you just say "You don't know what you're talking about. Your relationship is going to fail." Because that's what you make it seem like. You make it seem like every single long distance relationship will fail inevitably. You seem to be talking about relationships other than mine. And if you are, I can agree with you on most points. But I want you to explain my relationship, and my commitment. Does none of this refer to me because I've seen my girlfriend in person before?
zigimusprime: Okay, so basically, long distance relationships can't be real until the both meet for a day or two? Because my relationship was two years old before I saw my girlfriend for the first time, and even though it was for a week, it didn't make it any more official than it already was.

I can prove you wrong just from the fact that I told my girlfriend that I loved her unconditionally before I saw her, felt the same when I went to visit her, and felt the same when I came back home. I'm not trying to justify all online relationships, and I'm not even saying that everyone of them have a chance to work, because they don't. Some people just don't know how to hold a decent relationship, but that goes for every type of relationship, not just long distance ones.

You seem like you're close-minded (No insult intended) because you said Optimism is great and dandy, but realism is what we both want. Well of course realism is what we want. That's why we're optimistic to have the realism we desire.

You're acting like people in long distance relationships never plan to live together or anything. I was following everything you said until "Otherwise, be virgins forever." because I couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or not. I'm honestly not trying to insult you, but the only word that can describe that statement is that it was just plain stupid. 

Your definition on luxury is a part of what I explained. Not everyone finds luxury in love. But I've got it, and I'm in a long distance relationship. How do you explain that? Will you just say "You don't know what you're talking about. Your relationship is going to fail." Because that's what you make it seem like. You make it seem like every single long distance relationship will fail inevitably. You seem to be talking about relationships other than mine. And if you are, I can agree with you on most points. But I want you to explain my relationship, and my commitment. Does none of this refer to me because I've seen my girlfriend in person before?
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i definitely wouldnt say its invalid. even though the internet isnt real life it affects real life people and things should be treated as such. as for distance never working out, im sure it could but i imagine a lot of trust and effort would have to be put into it
i definitely wouldnt say its invalid. even though the internet isnt real life it affects real life people and things should be treated as such. as for distance never working out, im sure it could but i imagine a lot of trust and effort would have to be put into it
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Don't do it man. I've had more than one long distance relationship. Don't do it man. Don't do it. You date them for a year or two, then you pay a crapload of money to have them fly out to see you, or you fly out to see them, and then within the next two or three months you break up. I've had three of these. It's awful.

Don't do it, man.   
Don't do it man. I've had more than one long distance relationship. Don't do it man. Don't do it. You date them for a year or two, then you pay a crapload of money to have them fly out to see you, or you fly out to see them, and then within the next two or three months you break up. I've had three of these. It's awful.

Don't do it, man.   
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