Granted, but but everyone one of your million subscribers are fanatically obsessed with touching your nipples.

I wish I could shape-shift in whatever I wanted.

Granted, but every time you shape-shift, there is a 5% chance of you being stuck at whatever you were for 5 years.

I wish to be able to time-travel.

Granted, but you can only travel once. So whatever time you choose to travel to, you are stuck there permanently. Choose wisely...

I wish for one single frosted flake.

Granted, but it's a flake of lead paint dipped in frosting

I wish to be able to control the weather

Granted, but there is 2% chance that you'll never be able to change it back.

I wish to be able to play FFVII right now.

Granted, but it is an unfinished game that's barely playable (a gamer's true worst nightmare).

I wish for a free year of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate.

Granted, but you can only play 25 Games.

I wish to never get sick again.

Granted, though death is the only response to be away from illness forever. You shall be missed.

I wish I drew Pot of Greed and what it does.

Pot Of Greed was wished for, Pot Of Greed is granted. Uh oh. Wait? How could this be? Every other card in your deck has morphed into Swordsman from a Distant Land. I'm sorry. There's no predicting a game of chance. :'(


I wish for Ciri from Witcher to be real and her dearest desire is to snuggle up to me, playing little games with me under my bedcovers

Granted, but the transferring from fantasy to reality is tricky and she loses all her senses, so she won't be able to see, hear or feel you.

I wish to have ALL SEVEN CHAOS EMERALDS!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Granted, but the power corrupts you and you cannot control them, leading to you causing chaos, and killing people, the power overcomes you and makes you forget everything before you got them. Then you are no longer the same person, you get depressed, and die.

I wish for a non-corrupted wish. Or to be fast.

That wish is indeedily-eedily granted ! From this day forward , you are fast like a Flash . You can even style yourself as a hero in your own imaginings but "hard pass" on actually doing anything heroic. You are too much of a thrill junkie to do anything but move fast .

There is only one issue with it . It is that you do not have the ability to slow down. You will not rest because you will always be in super speed mode. Your body is always energized no matter how little you eat . Your increased speed also ages you prematurely . Your twenties will be more like your fifties .

You do not enjoy sitting down , watching movies that seem to go super slow or making physical contact with anyone [ even pets ] . They are all too slow for you . You do not have patience for any of it .

You enjoy running and only running super fast . That is your life . It is not all bad . You will have great abs by the time you are actually twenty years old and looking like you are fifty .


P3

I wish my spine was robustly healthy and I therefore regained the confidence to go outside again .

Granted, but then your foot has problems, and it hurts for the rest of your life, and you can't fix it, unless you chop it off and get a prosthetic foot.

I wish to earn 1T dollars from YouTube, and that people only know me from YouTube, and that they don't know that I have 1T dollars.

Granted, but YouTube takes a gigantic 50% cut of the money and you spend the remaining ~$500 billion on lavish, frivolous things and investments that went south only end up broke and working a 9-5 in 5 years.

I wish I could have the high-end gaming PC of my dreams.

SacredShadow : Granted, but the monitor is 240P quality, and it's green tinted.

I want to get 1,000,000 Viz.

Granted, but it in exchange, you can only make 2 board posts per month for the rest of the year.

I wish the limited edition 30th anniversary PS5s were a reasonable price so I can finally get one (the official prices haven't yet been revealed, but we know the PS5 Pro is a ridiculous $700 dollars, so it's safe to assume the anniversary editions will be similarly priced.)

Granted, but sadly you get it in three months from now, and when you get it, it will be stolen, and you'll have to get it back at the nearest thrift store.

I wish to win TdV.

Granted, but you will permanently be restricted to a maximum of two posts per day and none of your posts will earn you points during TDV months.

I wish I could reap the benefits of a full 8 hours of sleep by only sleeping for an hour.

Granted, but then you'll be tired still.

I wish to never have to eat again.

Granted, but now people invade your house to steal the groceries you no longer need since you don't have to eat anymore.

I wish I could travel to all the places I want to visit, free of charge and in first class.