Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Register
Signup for Free!
-More Features-
-Far Less Ads-
☷ Vizzed.com Play Retro Games Vizzed Board Video Games Game Music Market Minecraft Radio Widgets Virtual Bible
☷ Register   Login  
All Threads Contribution Points New Posts Your Threads General Chat News and Updates General Chat User Ranks Active Users
About   Users   Help
Users & Guests Online
On Page: 1
Directory: 132
Entire Site: 2 & 1658
Page Staff: tgags123, pokemon x, tgags123, supercool22, SonicOlmstead, Barathemos,
03-30-26 07:17 AM

Forum Links

Related Threads
Coming Soon

Thread Information

Views
1,006
Replies
5
Rating
0
Status
CLOSED
Thread
Creator
daisukiusagi
06-26-11 04:08 PM
Last
Post
daisukiusagi
06-26-11 10:15 PM
Additional Thread Details
Views: 312
Today: 0
Users: 1 unique

Thread Actions

Thread Closed
New Thread
New Poll
Order
 

My first poem

 

06-26-11 04:08 PM
daisukiusagi is Offline
Link
| ID: 413056 | 212 Words

daisukiusagi
sonicmcmuffin
Level: 141


POSTS: 37/5829
POST EXP: 474899
LVL EXP: 34113207
CP: 20751.7
VIZ: 1132878

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Hi everyone this is my first poem, please keep in mind that I've never really wrote poetry before so any advice you have I would be extremely grateful for.

War always brings a lot of pain,
War always makes people insane
War always brings people sorrow
One day there will be no tomorrow

War destroys plenty of hearts
War destroys once it starts
War destroys all traces of hope
Leaving people hanging on pieces of rope

War makes the unborn suffer
War makes lives a whole lot rougher
War makes us live in fear
Losing the ones we hold most dear

War is caused by fights over soil
War is caused to steal people’s oil
War is caused to show their power
All this war brings us closer to our final hour

Without war, These people could be having fun
Without war, We could be relaxing in the sun
Without war, the would be no need to hide
Then we can finally feel safe inside

Without war, earth will become more like heaven
Without war, no children will have to fight when there seven
Without war, Less people will get upset
Stop war now, war only brings regret


Thanks, I was planning to make it longer but I ran out of time!

Hi everyone this is my first poem, please keep in mind that I've never really wrote poetry before so any advice you have I would be extremely grateful for.

War always brings a lot of pain,
War always makes people insane
War always brings people sorrow
One day there will be no tomorrow

War destroys plenty of hearts
War destroys once it starts
War destroys all traces of hope
Leaving people hanging on pieces of rope

War makes the unborn suffer
War makes lives a whole lot rougher
War makes us live in fear
Losing the ones we hold most dear

War is caused by fights over soil
War is caused to steal people’s oil
War is caused to show their power
All this war brings us closer to our final hour

Without war, These people could be having fun
Without war, We could be relaxing in the sun
Without war, the would be no need to hide
Then we can finally feel safe inside

Without war, earth will become more like heaven
Without war, no children will have to fight when there seven
Without war, Less people will get upset
Stop war now, war only brings regret


Thanks, I was planning to make it longer but I ran out of time!

Vizzed Elite
#1 Pointless title on Vizzed


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 02-26-10
Last Post: 291 days
Last Active: 128 days

06-26-11 04:24 PM
YourMajestyKen is Offline
Link
| ID: 413069 | 32 Words

YourMajestyKen
Level: 208


POSTS: 6898/14514
POST EXP: 421681
LVL EXP: 131533868
CP: 6747.1
VIZ: 323204

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
This is actually very good...it's the truth, makes perfect sense, and rhymes.

I did notice some spelling errors, nothing major. Overall this is a great first poem. You should make more.
This is actually very good...it's the truth, makes perfect sense, and rhymes.

I did notice some spelling errors, nothing major. Overall this is a great first poem. You should make more.
Vizzed Elite
WINNER of February 2011 VCS! WINNER of June 2011 VCS! WINNER of October 2011 VCS!


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-01-10
Location: The Heart Of New York City
Last Post: 3560 days
Last Active: 1012 days

06-26-11 04:34 PM
daisukiusagi is Offline
Link
| ID: 413073 | 41 Words

daisukiusagi
sonicmcmuffin
Level: 141


POSTS: 38/5829
POST EXP: 474899
LVL EXP: 34113207
CP: 20751.7
VIZ: 1132878

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
YourMajestyKen : Thanks I should check it properly before I post it next time... And thanks your comment really means a lot to me, I will try to write more in the upcoming days, but It's just finding a usable topic
YourMajestyKen : Thanks I should check it properly before I post it next time... And thanks your comment really means a lot to me, I will try to write more in the upcoming days, but It's just finding a usable topic
Vizzed Elite
#1 Pointless title on Vizzed


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 02-26-10
Last Post: 291 days
Last Active: 128 days

06-26-11 10:06 PM
dkmec20 is Offline
Link
| ID: 413236 | 47 Words

dkmec20
Level: 97


POSTS: 1844/2498
POST EXP: 62177
LVL EXP: 9251942
CP: 582.1
VIZ: 37130

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
I really enjoyed your poem, it was very good.

I especially like the part "War is caused by fights over soil" that made me !

If you make another poem and make it into another thread summon me to it, I would like to hear more!
I really enjoyed your poem, it was very good.

I especially like the part "War is caused by fights over soil" that made me !

If you make another poem and make it into another thread summon me to it, I would like to hear more!
Trusted Member
Phil. 3:7-11


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-17-11
Location: KY, USA
Last Post: 786 days
Last Active: 129 days

06-26-11 10:11 PM
pacman1755 is Offline
Link
| ID: 413244 | 13 Words

pacman1755
Level: 199


POSTS: 1406/13170
POST EXP: 454212
LVL EXP: 111327175
CP: 30755.6
VIZ: 353011

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
That was a pretty good poem...I enjoyed it, hope you make more
That was a pretty good poem...I enjoyed it, hope you make more
Vizzed Elite
Winner of The August VCS 2011, December VCS 2013, and Summer 2014 TDV


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-22-11
Location: Wisconsin
Last Post: 2285 days
Last Active: 49 days

06-26-11 10:15 PM
daisukiusagi is Offline
Link
| ID: 413247 | 65 Words

daisukiusagi
sonicmcmuffin
Level: 141


POSTS: 44/5829
POST EXP: 474899
LVL EXP: 34113207
CP: 20751.7
VIZ: 1132878

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Well thanks and of course I'll do that, I wasn't actually expecting anyone to give me feedback if I'm honest never mind positive feedback

Thanks that line is a bit odd, but hey It's already been posted and it was really only to see if I could actually make a poem someone liked

Cheers and of course I'll update you to any poems I write
Well thanks and of course I'll do that, I wasn't actually expecting anyone to give me feedback if I'm honest never mind positive feedback

Thanks that line is a bit odd, but hey It's already been posted and it was really only to see if I could actually make a poem someone liked

Cheers and of course I'll update you to any poems I write
Vizzed Elite
#1 Pointless title on Vizzed


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 02-26-10
Last Post: 291 days
Last Active: 128 days

Links

Widget Top Title

Widget Top Text

This page has no comments

Widget Bottom Title

Widget Bottom Text

This page has no comments

Adblocker detected!

Vizzed.com is very expensive to keep alive! The Ads pay for the servers.

Vizzed has 3 TB worth of games and 1 TB worth of music.  This site is free to use but the ads barely pay for the monthly server fees.  If too many more people use ad block, the site cannot survive.

We prioritize the community over the site profits.  This is why we avoid using annoying (but high paying) ads like most other sites which include popups, obnoxious sounds and animations, malware, and other forms of intrusiveness.  We'll do our part to never resort to these types of ads, please do your part by helping support this site by adding Vizzed.com to your ad blocking whitelist.

×