Years ago when I was in middle school, I began to hate myself. Back in seventh grade, I did well grade-wise, but I had few friends and a lot of people made fun of me and made my life Hell. The next year, I had a much better schedule so I was able to see my friends unlike the year prior, only this time I became like the people who treated me terrible. Then, sometime in ninth grade, I questioned the kind of person I was. I saw a movie that moved me to tears. I took from the movie's example to change for the better.
About a year later, I became obsessed with someone in my school. I thought things were going smoothly, however, it turned out that I was not on her mind like that so I changed again. I tried to be more masculine and I drove myself to work out. I actually got musk-culls! I actually stuck with it for a few months. However, once the next year of school began I realized that the muscles changed nothing so I lost interest in maintaining them.
I was depressed for a while. Then one day she actually confronted me about this. Our friendship suffered as a result of this and she was going on vacation so she wanted to try to mend things a bit before leaving. I told her everything: how I felt about her...well that was the main thing lol.
In short, the next few months was filled with disappointment at myself, her, and the "love" I felt for her. Turns out, she wasn't that amazing, my love was shallow, and I was a b******. I felt like all the changes that I did were undone at that point. Many of the people who I thought were my good friends and good people in general, were not.
I was left confused, alone, and sad. Then I started talking to different people. I was getting tired of being sad so I did something about it this time instead of waiting for other people to come to my rescue. I rekindled an old friendship and before I knew it, I had a new best friend. From there I felt like I was becoming a better person.
Fast forward to now and I feel like a completely different person. Going to college and seeing how everyone sounds exactly the same. 90% of the people I hear talk about the same two things: beer and sex. When they're not talking about that, I hear them complaining and occasionally saying things about me under their breath. I made no friends in my first year there and took classes that made me die a little inside each day. However, that experience helped me realize a few things. Good friends are not easy to find, I really love art and want to make a career out of it, and I learned to handle solitude better.
Near the end of the year, I actually told my best friend that I love her. Even though I pretty much got rejected and we didn't speak to each other for a while, I never regret that day. In fact, conjuring up the manberries to tell her how I felt still gives me confidence. Not talking to her for that long and giving her space sealed the deal. Respecting her decision and not resorting to pestering her about her decision is also good. That whole experience really gave me confidence. Many of my friends were never able to tell a woman those three words, but I did and I have the least experience and self-confidence of them all.
People always change. No one stays the same. I look at an old photo of myself and the only similarities are the brain cells. I look much different, think differently, and act much differently. It's never too late to change, in fact, change is inevitable. Years ago when I was in middle school, I began to hate myself. Back in seventh grade, I did well grade-wise, but I had few friends and a lot of people made fun of me and made my life Hell. The next year, I had a much better schedule so I was able to see my friends unlike the year prior, only this time I became like the people who treated me terrible. Then, sometime in ninth grade, I questioned the kind of person I was. I saw a movie that moved me to tears. I took from the movie's example to change for the better.
About a year later, I became obsessed with someone in my school. I thought things were going smoothly, however, it turned out that I was not on her mind like that so I changed again. I tried to be more masculine and I drove myself to work out. I actually got musk-culls! I actually stuck with it for a few months. However, once the next year of school began I realized that the muscles changed nothing so I lost interest in maintaining them.
I was depressed for a while. Then one day she actually confronted me about this. Our friendship suffered as a result of this and she was going on vacation so she wanted to try to mend things a bit before leaving. I told her everything: how I felt about her...well that was the main thing lol.
In short, the next few months was filled with disappointment at myself, her, and the "love" I felt for her. Turns out, she wasn't that amazing, my love was shallow, and I was a b******. I felt like all the changes that I did were undone at that point. Many of the people who I thought were my good friends and good people in general, were not.
I was left confused, alone, and sad. Then I started talking to different people. I was getting tired of being sad so I did something about it this time instead of waiting for other people to come to my rescue. I rekindled an old friendship and before I knew it, I had a new best friend. From there I felt like I was becoming a better person.
Fast forward to now and I feel like a completely different person. Going to college and seeing how everyone sounds exactly the same. 90% of the people I hear talk about the same two things: beer and sex. When they're not talking about that, I hear them complaining and occasionally saying things about me under their breath. I made no friends in my first year there and took classes that made me die a little inside each day. However, that experience helped me realize a few things. Good friends are not easy to find, I really love art and want to make a career out of it, and I learned to handle solitude better.
Near the end of the year, I actually told my best friend that I love her. Even though I pretty much got rejected and we didn't speak to each other for a while, I never regret that day. In fact, conjuring up the manberries to tell her how I felt still gives me confidence. Not talking to her for that long and giving her space sealed the deal. Respecting her decision and not resorting to pestering her about her decision is also good. That whole experience really gave me confidence. Many of my friends were never able to tell a woman those three words, but I did and I have the least experience and self-confidence of them all.
People always change. No one stays the same. I look at an old photo of myself and the only similarities are the brain cells. I look much different, think differently, and act much differently. It's never too late to change, in fact, change is inevitable.
|
User Notice 
Totts is Offline
| ID: 376035 | 131 Words
Totts is Offline
Margoth is Offline
| ID: 382693 | 28 Words
Margoth is Offline
Bintsy is Offline
| ID: 386783 | 19 Words
Bintsy is Offline
tRIUNE is Offline
| ID: 386798 | 151 Words
tRIUNE is Offline
NotJon is Offline
| ID: 386823 | 656 Words
NotJon is Offline
BNuge is Offline
| ID: 387501 | 185 Words
BNuge is Offline
