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seeron
11-25-10 11:07 PM
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M!cH@3l 001
11-30-10 03:20 AM
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The world we live in

 

11-25-10 11:07 PM
seeron is Offline
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| ID: 282932 | 67 Words

seeron
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The world we live in is full of blood and lies,
not knowing who's good and who's bad is what makes us cry.
In the whole, our problems don't matter,
so why do we bicker not knowing things should be getting better.
The government is slowly turning us into fools,
not thinking of what will become of their eternal souls.

The World We Live In
By, seeron
Seeron's Post

The world we live in is full of blood and lies,
not knowing who's good and who's bad is what makes us cry.
In the whole, our problems don't matter,
so why do we bicker not knowing things should be getting better.
The government is slowly turning us into fools,
not thinking of what will become of their eternal souls.

The World We Live In
By, seeron

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(edited by seeron on 11-25-10 11:12 PM)    

11-25-10 11:43 PM
Nksor is Offline
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What's with people being all sad and stuff with poems? First leggy, then Blue, then you. You know, there's happy poems too.

Anyways, good poem. I think I say that to everybody though. I only really criticize poems if they really suck. The only thing I'd really say is that your poem is kinda all over the place; it's too short for all the subjects it covers.

There's my *constructive* criticism.
What's with people being all sad and stuff with poems? First leggy, then Blue, then you. You know, there's happy poems too.

Anyways, good poem. I think I say that to everybody though. I only really criticize poems if they really suck. The only thing I'd really say is that your poem is kinda all over the place; it's too short for all the subjects it covers.

There's my *constructive* criticism.

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11-27-10 07:51 AM
DarkDen is Offline
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DarkDen
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Its good poem but a bit too short i think. You chose a big topic but only wrote a little about it in my opinion. Write a bit more, the part that's already here is very good.

the_casualty : I wrote a poem about sad stuff too lol. I posted it here,its called lonely
Its good poem but a bit too short i think. You chose a big topic but only wrote a little about it in my opinion. Write a bit more, the part that's already here is very good.

the_casualty : I wrote a poem about sad stuff too lol. I posted it here,its called lonely


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11-30-10 03:20 AM
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the_casualty : I noticed that too people writing sad poems alot.

That was good seeron you are really good at writing peoms man good job


the_casualty : I noticed that too people writing sad poems alot.

That was good seeron you are really good at writing peoms man good job

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(edited by M!cH@3l 001 on 11-30-10 03:22 AM)    

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