So, I was thinking about this after watching a chick flick with my wife.... I find that they tell unrealistic stories about how relationships are. The whole idea of "and they lived happily ever after"... as if all their problems are over at the end of a 90-120 minute long movie.

I guess my point is that I get the impression that some women who watch chick flicks on a regular basis start to believe that guys are supposed to act like the male lead in those movies. He should find a way to resolve the problem and then everything should be great. And when that doesn't happen the women get all sulky and it causes problems in relationships.

Don't take this to be some sort of confession or something.... it's not happening to me. I'm just curious if anyone else has experienced this for themselves or not. It just seems like something that I could see happening for some people.

yea I definately think actors play a role in the way people think of relationships. People emulate each others behavior all the time, and I'm not just talking about movie roles either, I mean their real life behavior as well (or what get publizied). Others see this and tend to be numbed or think of it as more normal to have break ups and affairs and the whole freakin 9.

I think people take entertainment too seriously. Twilight is a perfect example of chicks obsessing with something fake. Have not seen the movie myself but I've seen the obsession.

I think your much better off finding more real relationships in movies that are not chick flicks. One Hour Photo was not a chick flick but in that movie it showed the father cheating on his wife and there was some tension in the movie where the father was upset of his wife living life out of a magazine I thought that was great cause it is often true. Basically the point of that movie was to teach the father and show him how lucky he is to have a wife and son where as robin williams character had none of those things.

I think if there is one actor who can portray fked up relationships that would be Michael Douglas that guy has been through it all a lot of his movies he is getting screwed and the relationships are no where near perfect.

Falling Down - Everything is going wrong for him he just wants to see his daughter for her bday but his wife is doing all she can to take her away from him.

Disclosure - He gets tricked by a chick in the office she accuses him of sexual harassment when she is the one who seduced him...

Fatal Attraction - Seen parts of it but still shows messed up relationship

And many more!

I think there's something wrong with the "chick" in question if she expects her relationships to play out like chick flicks. Not something wrong with the movie itself.

Annette : that's fair... but I'm not only referring to chick flicks... they were simply the example because I had just watched one.

I think Disney has done a similar damage by giving a similar message. The Happily Ever After moment at the end of nearly every disney cartoon from the 80's onward. It's just not realistic....

geeogree : yea but isn't it better than painting a grim view for kids.

you don't have to be grim to be realistic.... life isn't always as easy as things are portrayed to be in movies.... life has some hard decisions and hard trials to work through. Shielding kids from difficult things in life only serves to keep them weak rather than making them stronger gradually throughout their lives. It's no wonder that some people can't hack it in life.... they were coddled for so long that once they got out into the real world they cracked.

well you do have a point, but I find realistic to be grim. over 50percent divorce rate, pregnant 12 year olds, some stuff just isn't for kids to know about. Maybe it isn't best to coddle them so much either though. Reminds of how certain native american used to teach their kids not to cry. If the baby would cry the mother would hang it ona tree, if the baby doesn't learn not to cry a good chance it will be eaten by a predator, if it learns to be silent it has a better chance of survival.

.... wow, what a strange analogy to try and prove a point. That is a very specific reason to not cry.... the world has changed. And yes things are grim.... which is why I think hollywood is partly to blame. Our society is educated by Hollywood....

and the 50 percent divorce rate is a tricky statistic. The truth behind that number isn't as bad as it looks initially. Most people who divorce once go on to divorce again. So while of the total number of marriages there are 50% getting divorced... it's not 50% of all people get divorced, but 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Marriage isn't as bad off as it sounds when you look at it that way. It's more that a certain dysfunctional group gets divorced 2-5 times in their life....

yay for tangent....

Very good question. I think people have the wrong idea of what a relationship and marriage is supposed to be like. It's funny how it always seems to end "happily ever after" in the movies when the two get married, however, you never get to see what happens next. I mean, often times it's like Romeo and Juliet or the Sleeping Beauty; Romeo and the knight guy barely knew these women and yet Romeo kills himself (after only knowing her for about a week) and the knight based all of his feelings on her just on her looks I'd imagine. Point is, they never even test their love. It's amazing how often people refer to these films for dating advice. These kids need more reality and less fantasy.

the reason they did that was never mentioned in my post. the reason the native's did that was because if they were to have to hide or be stealthy one crying baby could get the entire tribe killed, just the harshest way I could think of to show not coddling your kids can be a good thing.

geeogree :
As a writer I do enjoy a good romantic comedy from time to time but I do think that sometimes it does give the wrong idea of how relationships function. By no means am I saying that some relationships are not forged based on certain circumstances that would make one think that it was a work of fiction straight out of the latest Hollywood screenplay but, I do feel that it holds an unrealistic standard of what people should look for in a relationship whether it be a drop dead gorgeous Hollywood starlet or the stereotypical leading male character.

I believe that it takes real effort on both ends for a relationship to work. Relationships have highs and lows obviously but I feel that it is how those in a relationship deal with the rough low periods that builds the foundation of a solid relationship. It isn’t easy but to get to a place where you feel genuinely happy can be difficult to achieve.

One thing that I think needs to happen is for people to realize that Actors are regular people and go through the same stuff as the rest of us do and although they may play a character in a movie or on Television that may give the appearance of the perfect type for someone to look for in a relationship, in reality it isn’t always true.

Just my opinion…

geeogree : Again, people need to realize that it's JUST a movie... When I was little I never looked at Disney movies for what a relationship should look like, because I was six years old and not interested in relationships.

I've never really understood situations like this. You hear about kids doing dumb things and then people blame it on pop culture. What about the other 99% of the teenage population, every other kid who listens to the same music, and doesn't go out and imitate the potential messages they hear/see in it? I dunno. I guess I just can't understand the mindset because I've never been in it.

I think Hollywood deserves some blame for the relationship problems. I mean, c'mon, they highlight the most unrealistic destructive ideals on any matter. But I do think most of the blame goes to the people who are foolish enough to believe that crap. No one is forcing women to manage their relationships twilight style.

I'll have to agree with some of the above. While Hollywood does have some fault in it, I think the problem mainly goes to the masses. It's their fault they let it go to their head. They're all just movies after all. Most kid movies and stuff like that have happy and very unrealistic relationships only because otherwise it would be too sad for them.

Annette : I couldn’t agree with you more… I think that most people who blame kids’ immaturity on pop culture or use the cop out that it is a different time then it was when we were kids etc just don’t want to take an interest in what their kids get involved in. As I said some of these movies do paint a picture of a stereotype that is unrealistic for anyone to look for in a relationship.

What I feel part of the problem is, is that the envelope is pushed considerably more now on Television and in movies than it was 20-30 years ago. Kids may be exposed to more now than back then but I think in regard to relationships people shouldn’t use romantic comedies as a tutorial of what a relationship should be built on. At least that’s how I see it.

No. Ice cream and tissues are to blame... I only have a snarky remark for this. Sorry.


To be honest, I highly doubt Hollywood truly produces movies much now. Aren't more studios outside of that place? Well... There is that cave near the Hollywood sign, so maybe that somehow counts for some credit still. It is pathetic to use movies that are works of pure fiction as self-help books. Why not use the Sly Cooper games as a book on how to make a crime gang while you're at it. Use Dragonball Z as a book on how to bodybuild just by grunting, too.

I can half way agree that kids are being more exposed to things Western culture finds "offending". Yet, they are able to be exposed to the mutilation of cats in Tom and Jerry, and the parents don't mind. It's rated TV G, sweetie. It can't be violent. BOOM! A cat gets his body cut in half! And it's red inside him. Or was I thinking of the wrong show...

In Japan, kids have been being exposed to the things we think are so horrifying and mind scaring for years. The Pokemon manga is for young kids, and it has things being cut into pieces sometimes. I've always found Japan's more laid back look at entertainment... Just... Easier to stay sane with. If only it was here in America...