It's been a while, Vizzed. Some of you are still in contact with me, most of you through my Discord server (unrelated to Vizzed's), the rest of you, however, might have noticed I was a bit absent (if there's anyone left to notice I was absent).

Ok, that's not "entirely" true. I wasn't entirely absent, but that's a topic for another day, and I'm sure there are enough people who know exactly what I'm talking about, that it isn't worth bringing up here and now.

Either way, you've probably been wondering what exactly has caused me to abandon the place, seemingly, and also abandon Innocent Town, as a result (I still own it, surprisingly. The last time I vanished, they tried to give away my forum, which was annoying). Then you might wonder why I even logged back in again, if I went that long without saying a word.

In short, I think I've come to the point in my life, where I feel like I'm finally a grown up. It's not that I've outgrown forums, or chatting, or hanging out with people, or any such thing. I still act like a total child with my friends, and they could tell you I'm anything but mature. My server is proof of this, although I would argue I'm one of the more level headed people there.

So what do I mean, when I say I feel like I've grown up? I mean that there just isn't much I get out of conversing with people who are close to half my age. There are still a lot of older members here, but many of these older members I never clicked with, either. The few I did (like geeogree), I had ways of talking with, away from Vizzed. So I chose to do that.

I've been living life. I've changed my major to Kinesiology, and I've pretty much cleared all my graduation requirements that are difficult. From next semester until I graduate in 2/3 semesters, it's just easy stuff like behavioral sciences (which I've always aced), film, history, and playing basketball for a grade.

I've more or less accepted my position in life, and have worked to get to the point where I feel like everything will finally work itself out.

Where am I going? I don't know yet. That depends on a variety of factors out of my control. But no matter where I end up, I know I'm going to be fine, and that my life is going to rock. And I plan on living a life others would be jealous of.

When I first registered on this site, back in 2010, I was in a bad place, and I hadn't even realized it yet. I would be diagnosed with major depression within a few days of signing up, I would drop out of college within a couple of months, and I became a shut in for close to three years. I lost my girlfriend, who I had seen myself being made for, and dealt with more depression, before finding someone who has treated me thousands of times better (even though I'm s*** and don't deserve her). Point is, I was a bigger messup than I had ever thought possible, and was nothing more than a walking pile of complexes, and irrational thought.

Dealing with the people of Vizzed, somehow, someway, made me a better person, because a lot of the people here have a variety of issues. It's made me more patient. More understanding. Kinder. I've maintained my way of doing things, all throughout, and I'd like to think it's a way that is respected by the greater community. It's no exaggeration to say that Vizzed was a safe haven of sorts, when I was losing my way, because no matter what I did, it seemed people were always quick to forgive, quicker to forget, and willing to help me improve as a person.

I would say I conquered my demons for good, in 2015/2016. The big ones anyways. I still have minor demons I fight all the time, but I think I finally became a grown up, and someone who could be looked up to, in those years, and finally became a pillar of support, rather than the driver of it. It's a shame Vizzed started to become inactive at the same time I took a step back, because I feel like I could have done a lot of things to help people, the way that others had helped me.

Around this time, I started to make genuine friendships, not just friendships of convenience, or ones based on how powerful I was. It's no secret, but when you have a position of power on a site like this, people just gravitate towards you, making it harder to differentiate who is being genuine, or not. I've made friends here, that I believe can last a lifetime. I'm not sure they will, but I think it speaks to how precious this place is to me, that I was able to find a little bit of my own humanity and humility, in the same place where I found the sin that was built up inside of me. A place where I found compassion to rival my arrogance.

Maybe Vizzed is in decline. It certainly feels like it. If this is a eulogy, then I want it to be one of thanks, rather than of regret or disappointment. Because Vizzed did serve a greater purpose in my life, even if it wasn't the ultimate, or final chapter, or even the buildup to either thing. It may be a footnote at the end of the first book, but it remains a place that I once considered a home away from home. A place that I still have some love for.

I wish everyone the best.
~Leggy

Welcome to adulthood.  It's a lot harder to be a grown up type person since you have some tough decisions to make, specifically about what you spend your time doing.

You're finding out that life is starting.  And I mean real life.  Life is okay when you're in high school but you don't get to really experience the important stuff like responsibility, self-reliance, and all those good points in life.  You're evolving, growing, and doing well.

Good for you.

Lastly, wherever you end up and whatever you end up doing, never say there are factors outside of your control.  You can always control things to your favor and you can always make decisions to alter or change your path to your benefit.

Good hunting out there.