Well, in my experience the best plans can go awry. Although it is good to try and set goals for yourself, life can be unpredictable and can change your plans. As for me, being a writer my plans are usually centered around what I will be working on, and/or what event I will be covering week to week.

Admittedly, I put myself through a self-imposed schedule that most probably wouldn’t, but I do love what I do and I think that is very important. If you love what you do, no matter how grueling it might be, no matter how stressful it can be at times, it can be extremely rewarding. Currently, my biggest ambition in regard to my work is to become independent and be able to have the ability to call my own shots.

Even though I don’t mind writing for outlets and enjoy the ability to write for outlets, I also enjoy the freedom of being able to write something and know that I can publish it independently if I wish, as opposed to writing material for an outlet, with the expectation that it will be published only to find out that it was passed on by that outlet, after the fact.

Of course, there are other things that I would like to accomplish, but for right now that is my goal.

Unfortunately I had this happen to me before with a friend who I thought of as a brother.  As a writer I spend a lot of time writing material and such.  One day years ago I had a problem with a piece of computer equipment and I needed to get it replaced as quickly as possible because I had a deadline with an international magazine that I worked for.  Working under a deadline is difficult, especially when you are doing it while dealing with a computer issue as well as a significant time difference between where you are and where a publication is based.  To say that it was stressful is an understatement.

My friend happened to be staying with me for a few days when my computer problem came up. Given that I needed to get my material done and in at a certain time I needed to buy a replacement for the equipment that was preventing me from finishing my work and sending it off. I am physically challenged and don’t drive so he offered to go to the store for me and bring the thing I needed back for me.  I am leery of giving people outside of my family money when I need to get something done, so he and I went back and forth about this and he said You and I have been like brothers for almost sixteen years I would never do that to you, etc.  I eventually agreed, we hugged and I gave him the money to go get what I needed.

Long story short, I kept tabs on him while he was out to make sure I knew what he was doing, etc.  He came back after about an hour with the equipment and my change and receipt.  He told me he had someone he had to go pick up and that he’d be back in an hour or two to help me hook the equipment up.  Well, he never came back and a few hours later I doubled checked my money and found out that he took an extra $120 from me without me knowing about it. 

It was the last time I saw him and only talked to him twice in eight years.  I eventually agreed to talk to him online and although he never accepted accountability for what he did, I allowed him to talk to me.  He was like a brother to me for so long and that doesn’t necessarily go away even after someone betrays your trust and disappears for so long.  Admittedly, it took me a long time to even entertain the thought of talking to him. 

He had called a few years earlier and we briefly had words and he told me he understood that I was angry with him, but didn’t offer an apology nor took accountability for his actions.  When I was able to talk to him again several years later he still didn’t apologize, but I felt better that I agreed to talk to him, despite my anger.  Although we reconnected and have occasionally talked since then, it isn’t like it was in that we’re not as close as we once were.  There was a time when we were like each other’s shadow. Where there was one, there was the other.  Now it’s the opposite of that.  He’s living in a different state from last I heard from him and although I am cordial with him when he does contact me, it’s not what it was between him and I.

To be honest, I don’t know what advice I would give to someone in a similar situation as what I went through, but I guess it depends on the person and the situation.  For me, it wasn’t so much about the lost money as much as it was about the fact that it was someone who was like a brother to me of all people who took it from me especially after almost twenty years of friendship.  I think it all depends on the situation.

As for me, even though I would be fully justified to not talk to him again and not allow reconnecting, I guess what led to me more or less hearing what he had to say was I know what it’s like to make mistakes and I wouldn’t want someone holding resentment and/or anger toward me for years because of a mistake I made.  So, I decided to hear him out and found out that he had gone through a lot in the years that we weren’t in contact. Although he never took accountability or offered an apology for his actions, to be honest I felt bad for him after hearing the things he had gone through. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. 

At the end of the day even though he never apologized and said he did what he did, I felt better that I at least talked to him and even though it wasn’t exactly settled it felt good to not be angry with him.  As I said I guess it all depends on the situation.  

This is kind of a difficult question to answer because love and loyalty are both part of what makes a relationship, a relationship. It can be difficult because you may love someone, but the person just doesn’t have the same level of commitment to the relationship as you might have. It is difficult sometimes to find both loyalty (commitment/faithfulness) and love.

Sometimes someone who has been done wrong in a relationship will blame themselves and will not see a benefit to the relationship ending because they will ask questions like what caused her/him to do this, what did I do to push them away, and so on. To be honest, sometimes there is no right or wrong answer when someone leaves a relationship, but one thing that often leads to break ups is dishonesty.

Speaking only for myself, I believe that someone is not happy in a relationship and things cannot be worked out for one reason or another that person should be honest with the other half of the relationship and end it in an honest manner. When relationships end as a result of someone cheating, it not only doesn’t paint the one who was unfaithful in a less than dignified light, but it can lead to bad feelings and can not only cause problems in future relationships, but also cause problems with mutual friends and such. For me, when it comes to romantic relationships, I equal loyalty as being the same as trust and commitment. Love is certainly part of it, but I think you need both in order for a relationship to work. Just one man’s opinion.

As someone who has been single for years I don’t see online relationships as something legitimate.  Of course I have several friends who I have never met in person who I have become really good friends with over the years, mostly people I have met through my work as a writer and such, but in regard to romantic relationships it doesn’t seem viable. 

If someone wants a real relationship there needs to be quality time between the people in the relationship.  Unfortunately, in my experience I have come across a few people who prefer relationships that I like to call “Technologically advanced.”  I have basically taken those who prefer things that way as people who really don’t want a real relationship and leave it at that.

Personally I think it is a cop out for those who say they want a relationship, but don’t want to put in the time in order to make a relationship work.  My stance on the subject might not be popular to some, but that’s how I feel.

The technology available today is great, but in regard to relationships as you get older it’s better to have a relationship that is a real one where the people involved put in equal time to the relationship.  Just one man’s opinion.  

Although it is not good to hold a grudge or be resentful, I think it all depends on the situation. Speaking from personal experience, I do know what it’s like to hold a grudge and I also know what it’s like to be on the other side of a grudge.

My teen years were not very good and I had my share of troubles and issues with friends. Some friendships were broken, basically due to the immaturity we all had at that age, people talking behind others’ backs and so on. I ended up leaving school and although there were several things that led to me making that decision, certain things involving friends and peer pressure were a part of it.

Even though I was resentful for a long time, I came to realize that it isn’t good to hold on to anger. In my case, I think it was all part of my maturing process and realizing my mistakes as well. There were several years where there was little or no communication with people who I considered friends back then. Part of the reason for that was I was angry at some friends for certain things that went on back then and for telling me before I left school that I wouldn’t amount to anything.

I became a writer and since venturing into social media I have come across some of those friends. Basically although it isn’t easy to forget some of the things that were said, I at least try to hear everyone out. Since reconnecting with some of those people who I thought I would never talk to again, they have been actually very supportive of what I do now and I have found that those relationships can start a new.

One of the things that kind of helped me get past my anger was just knowing that I wouldn’t want someone to hold anger and resentment toward me so many years later. The simple fact is we all get older and some things just aren’t worth being angry about. In my case although I am not perfect and have had my share of struggles, I probably would not be the person that I am today had it not been for the things I went through when I was younger.

I can only speak for myself, but I think that in most situations it is good to hear someone out. At least that is the way I feel about it. I do think that it depends on the situation though. Some things are more serious than others.

I think it depends on the relationship between teacher and student. I am in my 30s now and I have not really reached out to too many people from my school days on social media, but people have reached out to me. One such person was my old OT (occupational therapy) teacher who I had in elementary and in high school.

Up until almost two years ago I had not seen or heard from this teacher in over a decade as I dropped out of high school and did not really get a chance to talk to her about it. I was told by several people back then that I wouldn’t amount to anything and as a result I had strained feelings with a lot of people for several years. Even a few teachers told me that I would not amount to anything when I left school.

This teacher however, was always very good to me and always looked out for me. I became a writer after I left school full-time and one of the first things she asked me when we reconnected after all this time was for copies of my articles. Even though I was already a published writer before I left school, it was something that I kept myself. I don’t know whether it was because I thought it would be embarrassing or what have you, but I didn’t tell too many people that I was writer. This included teachers.

To make a long story short, I sent her some of my material and within an hour she wrote me back telling me how talented she thought I was and how proud she was of me and what I have accomplished, despite my setbacks. I have no problem in admitting that her saying that to me had me in tears. Things are far from perfect, but that did make me feel a little better about what I have done with myself since leaving school.

I don’t think there is any harm in  reconnecting with teachers later in life. Although some teachers along with people who I considered friends told me that I would not amount to anything, teaching is often a thankless job that has plenty of stress. It probably makes a teacher feel good to know that their efforts meant something to their students.

I can kind of relate to what you are saying, though I am single and haven’t had kids.  I am a writer who covers Boxing.  It is both a vocation and a passion of mine, although I have and continue to struggle to get paid for my work, it is something that I have devoted myself and am very dedicated to. 

One of the things that many see as a drawback of what I do is that my sport’s major events tend to be broadcast via pay-per-view and the cost of such can be expensive.  If you don’t write for a company that is high and reputable that will not only pay you, but pay to send you to an event to cover it, you have to rely on technology because there are only so many press credentials that can be handed out per event and such.   

The cost of covering the events for me since I have not written for a company that I would consider to be top level can be challenging.  I have friends of mine who have suggested that I meet up with them at a sports bar where I can watch the cards more or less for free, minus food and such.  The problem with that is, much like you I like to watch sports in peace if I’m not physically at an event and such.  It wouldn’t be professional to attempt to cover something while watching at a sports bar for the sole reason that you wouldn’t be able to adequately hear what is going on and thus, you would have a hard time from a writer’s standpoint formulating ideas and taking notes. 

It has been a challenge for me because I am admittedly a hermit and although I would like to get together with friends from time to time, my work comes first. It is very challenging because Boxing is a sport that runs year round so if there are fifty-two weeks in a year, odds are I am covering something at least forty-eight weeks out of that year, most of which is on the weekends while the rest of the time I’m either writing material and, or researching for the next thing I am planning to cover.  Most of my friends are understanding and they know that I’m not simply trying to avoid them. It is just a situation where days run together and weeks turn into months and such. Though my friends are understanding most of them don’t understand why I am so devoted to my work because it has been a struggle to get paid for my work, let alone make a living.    I often say, I do this for a living, I just don’t make a living.  I have fun telling people that yes there is a difference between the two. It’s all part of paying your dues. 

I can relate to what you’re saying because I do have friends who I am close to and it really bothers me when I have to say, “I’m sorry I can’t meet up with you, I have to cover something.”  It bothers me because even though the things that a writer has to go through are both misunderstood and underappreciated by most, writers also sacrifice their time with family and friends. 

Although this response is a couple of days late, if this situation were to come up in the future I wouldn’t cut ties necessarily. I would just be honest, but also polite in saying you need some time for yourself and your family.  I’m sure they will understand.

Even when I get some down time (Days off/Time off) most of that time, I spend trying to rest up and recharge my batteries so to speak.  There are some friends who wonder how I do what I do because I keep odd hours, I sleep sporadically and I’m always writing or preparing for something, etc.  To be honest, I wish I had more energy when I have down time so I could make up for the time that I miss with friends and family.  

I think they got the balloting right this time around although I have no doubt that all who were eligible, but didn’t get in this time will eventually get in.  I felt bad for Craig Biggio missing getting in by two votes. It’s a shame, but it took thirty-two years for Phil Rizzuto to get elected. He should have been elected much earlier than 1994 in my opinion.  Hopefully 2015 will be Biggio’s year.  As a die hard Mets and Yankees fan I would also like to see Mike Piazza and Don Mattingly also get elected in the near future.

I am thirty… When my grandparents were still around I would refer to them as Grandpa and Grandma or Gramp or Gram for short. I was fortunate to have several grandparents and one great grandparent in my life, I miss them very much. Depending on the grandparent I use to use nicknames for them when I was younger, but was always respectful. 

I haven’t had children, but I can somewhat relate to wanting to appeal to the younger members of the family. I am an uncle to six kids and although all call me uncle, I don’t mind if they simply call me by my name so long as their respectful. I have similar relationship with one of my aunts in that I often call her by name without calling her aunt first. I think as long as there is respect there really shouldn’t be an issue, but it also boils down to the individual. As for me all I want from my nieces and nephews is to be respected and someone that they can talk to if need be. 

I don’t know if afraid is necessarily the right word when it comes to people who have made mistakes, but do not want to repeat those mistakes or errors in judgment. No one is perfect. We are all human and everyone at one time or another will make a mistake. I know that I have made my share mistakes.

I think that when people make mistakes it can be part of a learning process and part of maturing. I believe though the key is to allow yourself after making a mistake to step back and say to yourself what did I do wrong and or, what can I learn from this that will help me from making mistakes in the future?

It’s really all part of the maturing process.

I think that may have answered this question in a similar thread at some point, but to be honest I can't really remember. I am a writer and a good chunk of my time is spent either writing material, answering reader feedback, or preparing to write material and doing research. When I am not writing however, if I am not playing a game or something like that, I am usually watching something on a streaming service like Netflix.

I don't go out very much so when I do have down days (days off) that is usually what I am doing. It usually cures any boredom. I haven't been able to play my PS3 in over a year due to needing a new hard drive. Playing games is another activity that like to do on my down days. I do like the occasional board game though, but it has been so long since I have played a board game. If I am not doing either of those things, I am usually trying to catch up on some rest. It may not be the most exciting thing in the world, but it works for me.

I am not sure what the title of a biography about me would be,
but considering that I am a writer I suppose the person most likely to write
about me would be myself. Although I am in media, I am not on a top level. I do
not think based on this that I could necessarily write my own story right now
if I wanted to. If there is one thing that I have learned through my
experiences in this field, if one were to write a biography it needs to be
somewhat commercial on some level in order to draw attention.

I have been through many things in my life, many challenges
and hardships. I do hope that if and when the time comes that I want to write a
memoir that it will be something that might inspire someone who has gone
through similar struggles.

Although things have not been easy for me, I do have the
philosophy that as hard as my struggles have been sometimes, there are  probably many more people out there who have
had it harder than I have. I do hope that eventually all my years of work will
pay off and that I will feel comfortable enough to start thinking about a
project like that.

For me it isn’t so much a lack of interest like I said
before, it’s not having as much time as I use to. With the exception of a week off here and
there, I’ve been going pretty much non-stop this year. It’s been a year that has been busier than
others. I am looking forward to the two,
or three week rest come the Christmas holidays. 
I’m going to need it. 

I agree. It is nice to know that there are people who are in the same age group. As for me, there has been part of me that has been interested in starting a thread or, group on here for writers and those who  want to aspire to be writers. I know that I am not the only member who is a writer and I think if nothing else it might provide some interesting discussion and/or advice.

 The only thing that has me not doing it is wondering whether or not I can devote enough time. I am curious though since this is a thread for those of us in the 30 or above group, would any of you have any opinions on this? There is also part of me that wonders if a thread or group like that would be popular considering the younger members on this site. Normally I would just post a question in a general thread, but I’m curious to know what some of you may think since we are the older members here.

Well, I just turned 30 last week, but I won’t lie when I say that I feel and I have felt much older than that for a long time. I’ll be the first to admit that I do not post as much as I used to. It is not because I no longer have interest in the site or anything like that, it has just been a very busy year for me. I have been doing a lot of writing this year, in some ways more so now than usual because I have been trying to go independent and have not been doing too much work for outlets this year.

It has been very busy, at times frustrating, but it has been a challenge and I am a firm believer that anything worthwhile in life is not always easy. In some ways I’m doing more now being independent than I did when I only did work for outlets.  I still do work for outlets as well so it’s been busy.  I do agree with you that the site provides a lot of nostalgia. It didn’t take too long when I first one the site a couple of years ago to have memories of the 80's and playing many of the games. I may be in the minority here, but I believe even with all the advances in technology in regard to games today, in some instances back then was better. If nothing else, the durability and the longevity of consoles were better. As someone who is gone through three PS3 consoles, my experiences with those consoles have made me to believe that better technology does not always necessarily mean better durability.

I have been an avid PlayStation gamer for close to 20 years. Based on the issues with the PS3 however, it has me a bit hesitant on buying a PS4. The PS4 in terms of design looks similar to the designs of the first two generations of PlayStation and seems cheaper. My issue however, when Sony announced the new console, there was plenty of  mention of the new technology and the graphics and such, but not one mention of anything that was done to address the issues with the previous console.

It would not surprise me if one were to take a poll to see if many gamers, particularly collectors still have the original consoles to Atari, Nintendo, and right on through the list up to the latest generation of consoles. The technology of the current generation consoles is great, but it seems like they’ve lost touch in what made previous generations of consoles durable. Just one man’s opinion.

Maybe I’m just really starting to show my age. There are certain things that for one reason or another have me fighting the urge to use the phrase “You know in my day…”. I guess that is normal, if I had it my way if given a choice I would gladly go back to the 80's and early 90's. Things seemed so much simpler back then.




Singelli : Thanks for the summon. I appreciate it.  

I too have several hobbies. The two primary ones are like you, I like to write and do so as my vocation. Being a writer although very rewarding is not necessarily the easiest way to make a living. I often tell people that I write for a living, but doing something for a living and actually make a living I have found are two different things. Despite the struggles I have had I continue to press forward with my career. My other hobby which I also do on a daily basis is I like to record DVDs. When I was a kid I learned shapes off of a VCR and have been pretty much recording either VHS or DVD since I was two years old.

Ironically, my writing and my hobby recording intertwine with each other as I use DVDs for my research in writing material. It can be a little crowded because I often buy blank media in hundreds at a time. It does serve me well though. I do also like to play video games, but I have not been able to play my PlayStation 3 in over a year due to a botched firmware update. I need to get a new hard drive for it but I’m not rushing because other things take priority. I have gone through three PlayStation 3 consoles and even though I love PS3, the issues that I’ve had with those consoles has really soured me on the idea of investing money in PS4 when it is released simply because I want to be certain that the issues that I have experienced with PS3 will not happen with PS4 if I put money into it. As far as I’m concerned Sony, or really any other console developer has a responsibility to the consumer to make sure that the consoles are built to last.