jayron122 : As a lifelong Giants fan I have to remain firm to my allegiance and go with the Giants. Dallas is a very good team and always gives the Giants a run for their money.

Oldschool41 : I can relate to that. The correspondence school that I am enrolled in has a no D for course grade rule and I’m still in the introduction part of the course. Right now I have a D- and have to do a math lesson and reading comprehension and such. It has me really rethinking things and stalling in regard to the math end of it. I have been thinking of withdrawing from the program and trying again for a GED but I haven’t made my mind up yet.

What irritates me is I’m good with the reading comprehension and other things like vocabulary and English and such but they aren’t really giving me much of a chance to show what I can do. So in essence I feel like I am being shot in the foot before I even get started. Along with other things that I am dealing with it is depressing. I’m hoping that I will be able to find my way sooner or later. Sometimes it feels like I’m spinning my wheels etc.

My advice would be to talk to whomever you can in terms of teachers and or higher ups in order to give yourself perspective. As for me I’m pretty much on my own so I am in a bit of a different dilemma in some ways.

Best of luck to you.

Eirinn : I agree with you. As I said I throw no stones because I have messed up plenty of times and really screwed my life up when I was a teenager. I didn’t get the wake-up call that I needed until I was in my early 20’s but I accept the blame for everything. I often say no one is as hard on me as I am on myself and that is a fact.

I also agree with you in regard to fighting. Violence isn’t the answer and people (Not just men) need to be peacemakers and try and resolve things while still on a verbal level. It is different than sport obviously but if you ever watch a Boxing match or an MMA bout, the fighters go in heated at each other; maybe even displaying genuine dislike for their opponent. 90% of the time however they always leave the ring having more respect for each other than they went in. I think as a society the world would be a lot better off if we could just learn to be kind and respectful to one another. At least that’s my opinion.

Singelli : Well actually I moved here with my family when I was young but also spent time up north as well so it’s kind of split between the two but I was born up north have an accent and still think like a northerner so I was born one, was raised one and I guess you can figure out the rest.

I’ve been down here for years and I never really warmed up to the weather or the state. As I said if I had it my way I would gladly go back up north. Unfortunately I can’t really afford to do so, so I’m more or luck stuck here unless something miraculous happens. I also wouldn’t be opposed to traveling outside of the US if I could afford it.

Singelli : Well in my case as I said when I don’t throw myself into my work for one reason or another things tend to hit me at once. In regard to my writing I love my writing and as you’ve seen me say before I credit my writing greatly for being part of what straightened me out from being the screwed up teenager that I was.

The problem in regard to my writing is it has at times been extremely stressful and I have been struggling for many years just to be paid for my work let alone make anything resembling a decent living and such. It has me wondering if it’s worth it.

I also admit that there are times when I do get depressed because I often feel that even though I have straightened my life out far more then it was when I was a teenager, I feel like I haven’t fully redeemed myself. I made a lot of mistakes back then and even though it’s been many years since that period of my life and even though I am in many ways a different, more mature person with his head on straight; I still deal with the guilt I have about how bad I allowed myself to screw up my life. The thought has also crossed my mind that someone or people from my past, who knew me when I wasn’t the best person will know I’m a writer now and will in some way try to make things difficult for me.

It has made me reluctant to reach out to people who I knew back then and suspicious of anyone who reaches out to me. I know it probably sounds like paranoia but it’s something that I do worry about. Often the first thing I do when I come across someone from that period is apologize for anything that I might have said or did.

I am grateful that I got the wake-up call I needed when I was in my early 20’s but it’s not fun when you’re pushing 30 and you still feel guilty about things that happened when you were a teenager. I can’t tell you how much I wish I could go back to my teen years but with the mind that I have now and completely redo everything. I hope that sooner than later I’ll be able to put it all behind me.

I can relate to loving the work but having a strong dislike for the stress that comes with it. I’ve never been a teacher and despite my stance on the school system in general I have always felt that teachers don’t nearly get the compensation or benefits that they deserve and that the only time you really hear about the hardships teachers go through is when a politician sees it as something that they can use as a means of political gain. It’s wrong, it’s sad, but it’s reality.

About a year ago an old teacher of mine who taught me OT from when I was little and was there when I was in high school reconnected with me. She had no idea about my writing and such and asked if she could see my work. I sent her a couple of pieces that were published and she came back and said you have a talent for writing, I’m proud of you and your accomplishments. After I read that I had to go into another room because I was in tears. This is someone who basically worked with me on my hand writing and such when I was young and she saw me when I was in high school when I wasn’t a good person, she would have been fully within her rights to judge me and get on my case about my various mistakes. She has no idea what it meant to me to see her say that. I wear my emotions on my sleeve but it isn’t easy for me to break down and cry. She had me in tears. It really did mean a lot to me.

When you’ve been told you won’t amount to anything, that you’re no good and such and you’re a bad person, and you ended up not thinking and making many mistakes you end up feeling like you’re a bad person and really start believing it. It really felt good when she said that. I still struggle with my regrets but for that one day I felt a little better about things.

Singelli : This is an easy one… I’m a northerner and prefer the cold weather. I live in the south now and other than missing snow for a few months out of the year I miss having four seasons. Down here the weather tends to bounce. Some days it’ll be hot others it’ll be cool with little or no notice. It’s in the middle of December and it’s in the 80’s here. It’s difficult to get in any type of Christmas like mood when it’s hot outside and you have an AC and fans going in your house.

If I could afford to do so I would gladly move back north. It’s been rough down here for my family and I in terms of the economy and such so if I could afford it I would definitely go back.

Totts : I can relate to feeling like something is missing. It has been difficult for me over the last couple of years trying to deal with several different situations at once it seems. The stress of it has been at times difficult to bare. It has also taken an effect on my writing and such and I do have times when I get into these say moods or as my family likes to call them “funks” where I just have low ambition and energy.

It’s difficult for me when going through stuff like that because when things are normal I work extremely hard and basically do everything I can to keep working. If nothing else it provides me a distraction from all the other things that I am dealing with. When for one reason or another I can’t throw myself into my work things seem to hit me all at once and it gets hard for me to deal with things.

You are definitely not alone. I wish I didn’t feel as defeated by the world as I do sometimes. It isn’t easy but I think of it as rolling with the punches or, at least that is what I try to do as best as I can. I don’t think you’re missing anything, you may need time to adjust to everything you have going on. I have been spending an awful lot of my time lately thinking about where I am in my life and contemplating what I want to do. It has been an adjustment for me because I haven’t written/worked nearly as much as would normally be the case this year and when you have time for yourself, even if you didn’t ask for it you end up doing a lot of thinking and second guessing.

It’s normal for people to go through that at one time or another I guess. I just hope that next year will be different and will be a better year for me. I hope all is well with you.

warmaker : That is something that I never really understood myself but I think society is starting to change and people are becoming more sensitive to each other. In regard to movies and such I guess it would depend on the situation if one were to really get offended by something. I know that I grew up idolizing George Carlin.

Here is a man who was quite vulgar, could throw insults and match anyone in a war of words better than anyone. The difference was if he was vulgar and insulting he always did it as a purpose of illustrating a point and more often than not Carlin always had a purpose in the things he said whether it be speaking about discrimination, hypocrisy, religious issues you name it. I’d be willing to bet that when he wasn’t on stage that he was actually a very humble kind hearted man. At least that’s how I see it.

Singelli : There was a time when I wasn’t always so wise. I really wish I could go back and change things. My life would be a lot easier and I wouldn’t have so much regret.

BluemageKyle : First please know that I am praying for you. I myself am physically disabled and I went through something similar to what you’re going through when I was not much older than you are. My parents separated shortly before I turned 13. My mom had left and things ended up where my dad and I ended up moving back to where we were from and my mom and one of my sisters stayed where we live now. Over the majority of my teen years my parents were separated and got back together a couple of different times on and off. In the process I was put in the middle of what was going on between them.

I gradually went downhill both in regard to my school work and in regard to me as a person. I became someone who wasn’t the most honest person, said and did a lot of things that at that age no one should do and frankly I can’t remember a lot of it. I admit that I was wrong in how I dealt with things. In regard to dishonesty I make no excuses, much like a lot of other things in my life I was wrong but I guess one reason I was that way was because I didn’t want to let other people know what I was really going through. Basically if I wasn’t in school, I was pretty much trying to play peacemaker with my parents and whenever I could get away from that I would but, I didn’t make the best decisions and was simply not thinking.

Eventually I ended up dropping out of school, hanging out with the wrong people and not making good decisions. Although my parents eventually got back together and are still together, I had really damaged myself and I didn’t get the wake-up call that I really needed until I was in my early 20s. I still hold a lot of anger against myself for allowing myself to slide the way that I did. There is not a day that goes by that I do not wish that I could go back to right before I became a teenager and redo everything but with the mentality that I have now. I guarantee you things would be different.

I can understand your feelings of anger toward your father. I was angry for years with my mom but despite my anger I do not blame my parents for what I went through. Simply put, I made the mistakes, my parents didn’t have anything to do with my mistakes so to blame them would be avoiding responsibility. As far as the anger with my mom, I was able to move past it and we were able to make peace with each other.

As I write this I am pushing 30 and I will tell you I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. My depression doesn’t really have to do with my parents but it does have to do with the guilt that I have for the decisions that I made and just feeling bad about my choices. I can only hope now that I have straightened myself out that I won’t have to feel that guilt and frankly shame for the rest of my life. One of my big regrets that I have that I actually talked with my dad about recently was that I did not let my parents really know of the things that I was going through at the time. Looking back now I wish I had opened up to them more about everything. I also wish that I had sought counseling during that period of my life. I will admit that I did go to counseling briefly on and off but I should have stuck with it.

I can also relate to what you were saying about other family members knowing what was going on before you did. I know that it doesn’t make it right but you need to remember that you’re young and in all likelihood your family was trying to protect you. I went through the same experience when my parents were separated and when I did find out what was really going on I flipped out and thus began my downward spiral. I was basically the only one really who was kept in the dark about things I can relate to you and I understand your anger.

Considering your age I will not tell you everything that I went through but I will tell you that it is normal to feel depressed, angry, sad, and to feel like the world is coming down on you. I went through the same thing as you. I won’t lie to you. I am not a perfect person I still deal with depression and anxiety as I said and in many ways am still trying to pick up the pieces of my life. I don’t want to preach to you. It’s not an easy thing to go through. What I will tell you is anger is not worth it. The anger you hold in or even express toward your dad will do nothing but eat at you.

I know that it may not seem like it right now but you only have one father. I held anger toward my dad as well for a long time but my dad is in many ways my best friend. I love my dad dearly and there isn’t anything that will ever change that. The experience of going through what I did if anything bought us closer together and now it’s relationship that is part father/son part best friends. I love my dad. My relationship with my mom has also gotten closer over the years and we buried the hatchet a long time ago and I no longer have anger toward her for anything.

It may not seem like it right now but both your parents love you and you will get past this. One thing I will tell you is please stay in school and try not to let what you’re going through beat you down. It beat me down and like I said I didn’t really wake up until I was in my early 20s. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone.

As far as your sister, please remember hate is such a strong word and nothing good comes from hate. Your sister is younger than you are and she probably doesn’t understand what is going on nor should she at her age. I have three sisters myself and we have our disagreements and such but I would do anything for my sisters. I was angry with them because like I said I was kept in the dark about everything and was really the last to know what was going on. Looking back on everything they and the other members of my family were only trying to protect me.

I am the youngest of us. One thing I also regret as I regret not opening up and letting my parents know what was going on with me was I also didn’t go to my sisters. My sisters weren’t around much, one lives out of state and my other two sisters were more or less out on their own when I was going through all of that stuff. Looking back I wish I would have picked up the phone and talked to them or, talked to someone in my family. Like I said I wasn’t thinking.

My advice to you is to be there for your sister. You’re the older one and she more than likely looks up to you. We all have our moments when we can’t stand our siblings and things that annoy us but when you get down to it with the exception of your parents, your siblings are all you have. You should also talk to your parents about how you’re feeling and what your going through. It may not seem like it now but you will feel better once you talk to them and get it out of your system. It took me years to start opening up about things to my parents and I still am in the process of letting it out of my system. It’s not easy to talk about things that hurt you but it does get easier in time.

Stay strong. Best of luck to you.

Chanku : Indeed there is suppose to be a separation between church and state but more and more it seems like the lines are getting blurred. I believe in God but I also believe that a politician shouldn’t base every decision on his or her religious beliefs. It really is a delicate balancing act when you get right down to it. I just wish that as a society we will get to a point where there is less judgment, less hypocrisy and, more peace. Peace is something we all can and should be able to enjoy. At least that’s my opinion.

Tamilist : I can relate to that. I hardly sleep as it is and caffeine does help but I rarely drink coffee. I drink soda primarily even if it is my determent. I am a coffee maker though and have been told I make a strong pot of coffee. My dad requests it. I guess he likes his coffee strong.

Far as sinuses and aches I’m with you there. I deal with allergies on a daily basis and there is nothing worse then getting one of those sneezing spells that seems like won’t end. I really don’t like those. Far as aches I deal with chronic back pain, leg cramps, and periodic migraines. All things I could do without but things that I’ve learned to accept as I have gotten older.

Astynax27 : I would say it was wrong on both sides. I am a writer who has done work for magazines. I would never do something that I didn’t consider right in order to get something published. There’s a line you don’t cross etc. In regard to the photographer if I were in his shoes I would have dropped my camera and attempted to save this man. As far as the paper I am surprised that they would publish the picture. My heart goes out to the man and his family.

Oldschool41 : Well I admit I’m lazy when it comes to shaving. I rarely leave my house so I typically attempt to grow a beard for a couple of weeks at a time. It doesn’t really help that I live in the south and there is heat and such but I do like beards. Lately it seems like my beard has started to finally fill in so I’ve been debating with myself as to whether or not I was to keep it and groom it or if I want to go back to clean shaved. If I were living some place that was cool or cold on a regular basis I’d definitely keep the beard.

Traduweise : Again I respect your opinion but I disagree. It’s not meaningless when you or someone close to you is fighting a deadly disease and isn’t given adequate information. I have lost some members of my family to cancer and as I said my sister has been fighting breast cancer for four years and has had a couple of close calls. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s a cause very close to my heart it’s not meaningless my friend. Far as the science your right Big Pharma doesn’t have much say there but the problem is Big Pharma and those entities that work with Big Pharma has the influence to keep those breakthroughs from being widely published. If they can’t make a profit things like what these people are doing are harder and harder to find. It also doesn’t help when those doctors that do find the breakthroughs need funding to distribute the treatments etc. That’s where Big Pharma has their power. It’s sad but it’s reality.

Research and knowledge is power my friend.

Singelli :


thetruemasterofgames : Maybe Davideo7 can help answer this because I sure can't but I will close this one. Sorry I couldn't be more of help. Hopefully he can help you.

warmaker : As someone who has had many friendships come and go and come again I would say family is the most important thing in one’s life. My family has been through more than our share of hardship and struggle and it has been very trying and difficult at times but we are there for each other. Some friends are there as well but it isn’t the same as family.

dalek_cyber : Ages vary from young to old. I’m pushing 30 myself. Quite frankly I wish there was a site like this around when I was younger. Maybe just maybe I wouldn’t have made as many mistakes as I did. Welcome to the community. If you have any questions or need any help please don’t hesitate to ask.

Traduweise : If you watch the documentary he shows that he did try and still does try to publish his findings and to get his treatments pushed through and distributed with pharmaceutical companies. Big Pharma has a lip lock on him and a lot of other guys who are trying to do the same thing Burzynski is doing. Burzynski isn’t the only one out there who is fighting against the medical establishment. You may not care what congressional hearings or what criminal lawyers have to say but facts are facts. If Burzynski was in any way in the wrong for what he is doing he would have been locked up years ago. As far as medical records being anecdotal Buzynski showed the comparisons both before and after treatment for his patients. They are legitimate because A most if not all the patients that testified on his behalf would have died and B the falsifying of medical records is a felony. Like I said he would have been put in jail long ago if he wasn’t on the up and up.

I saw a video the other day online about another doctor based out of Canada fighting the same fight in regard to his treatments I recommend watching it. http://youtu.be/pbxArVCsKho I respect your opinion but based on what I’ve seen and read over the years I have to disagree with you. Please watch this video and please watch the documentary.