I realize the majority of people on here are under 20, and most over 20 aren't married with kids but a few of you have mentioned you have families.

This question is for everyone.

Kids:
How should you be disciplined?

Parents:
How should you punish your kids for things they do? 

I'm curious as to everyone's experiences and thoughts.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

By eight years old, you should have it pretty well engraved what your children can and can't do. I think that teaching them a moral standard of righteousness for themselves is pretty important. Any parent can teach rules and enforce them of their own authority. But give children the base for Morality, and they will have an able judge and conscious for the rest of their lives.

take away there electronics lol ---- kids now days cant live with out them  

I think talking and actually explaining things is a good idea. Kids are much smarter than we give them credit to.
Hitting a child? Maybe. I'd say use it as an extreme. But don't hit just for the sake of hitting. It enforces a bad habit, on yourself and your child.

Don't scream at them. Once again, there are exceptions, but to the extreme only. If you shout at your kid, they'll remember that you screamed at them, they won't even listen to what you are saying.

Talking and communicating is practically the best way to raise a child. A scold here and there, yes, but really, just talk.

Sword legion : I totally disagree. My father has been pretty much this way, and what I still have towards him nowadays is fear, not respect. I remember when I was 6, I would cover my head when he passed behind me for fear that he might strike me again. 

Except in VERY extreme cases, hitting a child is completely counter productive. They are humans, therefore they have reason. Try to make them think about why such or such as is not OK. And "stand your ground"; giving in even once opens a Pandora Box

janus :

Mine spanked me and I'm totally fine with him. I don't fear him in a negative way at all, and would trust him with my life. I love him more than any other man on Earth, though my grandfather is pretty close. It's hard to tell at times who I look up too more. They both have their strengths and faults.

tornadocam : Hickory? Is that an actual common word or a euphemism?

Anyway it is good that you do not advocate for a one-size-fits-all "policy." However I still have a hard time supporting spanking, even in the case of very bad behavior like bullying. Will that not perpetuate the action?

But yes, it seems that modern parenting does not give enough "support" to children. I just look at my younger cousins (13 years + younger than I am) and I see the difference right away. For the longest time they acted like spoil brats who cried whenever they did not have what they want. Fortunately they "recuperated."

Switch and a belt, most people i know who didnt get punished like that treat their parents like garbage and act like jacka**es. Plus, when you get that belt of that switch, you wont repeat what you did to deserve it. But people think its abuse but those people are soft and weak.

Ghostbear1111 : I personally think that extreme violence should not be used but, kids do need a spanking from time to time though. I don't think that parents becoming so frustrated to the point they break video games and things that the kids like or are passionate about is an answer either.
What I think should be done is from little, create a routine, discipline, and consistency. Time out, taking away privileges, having the kid earn things rather than giving giving giving. I just think that harsh punishment can become traumatic and create a sense of hatred or resentment in the child as he/she grows older and being too strict can cause rebellion. So, I would try to teach good values from a young age and make sure that my actions are consistent with that and as the kid grows up, continue to keep an open communication but, keep that consistency of what's expected and if those rules get broken, lose privileges and acquire more responsibilities in the household to where trust is earned again and those privileges are returned. I for one, if my child really goes the wrong path, I would seek help from institutions while I am still able to because I would rather part ways for a year or two to make sure my child gets the necessary discipline to grow as a successful adult than let him/her ruin his/her life and blame me for not being strict enough to give the help needed. I just think that as a parent you have a responsibility with your child and society that's bigger than just popping kids and letting them do as they please and later on cause problems to others.

tornadocam: thank you for enriching my personal culture I am not sure most native English speakers outside the region would understand.

TristanTehGamer1 : so treating children like garbage will do it? My grand fathers never laid a hand on me, and yet I have more respect for them than my own father, for whom I have fear. Honey tells me that his aunts still remember their late mother uneasily because of her harsh treatment of them, and apparently for bits and nothings.

jlove92 : exactly, consistency, but also parental solidarity. I once read that book from that famous children TV show star (she wrote the book in her 50s) who talked about both points. If you say that you will not/ will do X (say, keep the children home instead of bringing them to the cinema), doing it will show how serious you are. Same thing for solidarity; if the child knows he can get away with murder her will.

In addition, she advocates pretty much what I said earlier with using reason. You child keeps slamming the door? Take it off, and let the child screw it back. He always rejects your meals? Have him make a meal and do the same.

janus : I agree. You brought on a word that really triggered me, solidarity. Parents these days act just as much as kids. My last relationship was just a mess because he is 25 and acts like he is 12 and mommy jumped in our relationship advocating not keeping a stable job, not being responsible for bills, not following through with being an adult. I mean now looking at it from a different perspective, she acts like his friend and has never enforced a sense of responsibility as she herself has never been stable even now in her late 40's. I mean I sat with both of them recently just to have a grown up conversation about life itself and it felt like a brother and sister relationship rather than a mother making excuses for him left and right and is currently supporting him. I just feel sad in a way because we all want to be independent and have our things but, as a parent you really truly have a lot of influence in how your child's life turns out; I mean they ultimately make the decision themselves but, you shape the though process from which they derive every decision in their lives. I just can't respect parents that refuse to grow up themselves and refuse to offer guidance in their children's life- impairing them to live a cycle for the rest of their lives or until someone smacks them hard enough to clean their mind and rewire that concept of life. You can be a friend later on in life but, you must always remain a parent because it is the one thing they will not get again; you don't walk down the street and adopt new ones. 

Sighs* I would like to share my experience of this and what it has done. And what some areas needs to be covered. My family were not the oft type people they were strict but not too strict to the core to let you mind thinking that you hate them for this and that reason. If we did wrong we either got the slipper to be beaten with your the silent mute of the cold stare.... that still brings me shivers it does a number on you. So anyways the more you did wrong the harder the beating gets. So as we grew older the slipper was out and the belt and shoes were in the belt wasn't used for extreme measures and mostly was there to give the stare. My brother...he went through the brutal of the pain more than me and my sister. He would get beats on his back with the belt. Even though at times it wasn't his fault. Strange I know right your probably thinking that's abuse! It wasn't. I just dunno how to explain it in a way even though it wasn't his fault it made him the great man of today and married too.

so if not for building his character he would had ran away from home and joined a gang. Me and my sister only got both of our hands beaten by the belt and by our age. So the older you were the more pain you got from it. Then as we grew a little older we got smarter from that. So my parents and uncles were like eh? So you are getting smart now? So what my mother did. She took the PlayStation to work with her one day and the connections with her. And dam was that the worst times ever. So me my bro and my sister had to formulate a plan to get it back. And since my brother was the smartest one he said. To clean the whole house plus have our bathes lol. If we were to try and steal it from the car boot she would had taken the console into work with her....so anyways there is a lot of ways kids can be disciplined. We didn't get told go to the corner and think about what you did. Na uh we got we got the hash treatment. She would even leave traps for us to see if we fell for them. At times we didn't, but when she actually brought something worth eating before we ate it. We were in shock and asked if it was a trap. And she said no. So we were on high alert on a lot of things for when we were disciplined. '-'

jlove92 : triggered? Oh dear, I provoked a social justice warrior . Anyway your story reminds me of a reader's mail section in a newspaper where a mother was acting pretty much like you describe you (ex?) boyfriend. The lady doing that column was face-palming VERY hard...

Eniitan : however, I would bet that he suffered great trauma. And he might unfortunately repeat the "discipline" to his children. Sorry if I sound judgemental, but that kind of "disciplining" is a neverending vicious circle until someone realizes how damaging it is. I personally seem to carry that violence towards the cat, who is always scared of me as a result.

janus : My friend, that's where you are wrong. He didn't if he did. He wouldn't be the person he was today. Not all people are going to suffer trauma. It depends who can have the will to handle it or not. Everyone is different and not the same. He is not going to do the same to his children because you DON'T know. You just think that. I know perfectly well how he is going to handle it. You need to learn and to know that these types of disciplined is good, and can help you for a better future to prepare for what comes at you. You can't always go easy on a child they won't grow to be a better person that way.

I probably have an unpopular opinion on this one. I am a kid, but I feel that if parents beat their children at an earlier age just a few times, they will be scared and you don't need to give them much discipline later on as they have the fear that if they do something they might get beaten or yelled at. My parents haven't hit me in 8 or 9 years, but still every time I do something wrong I have a little fear. They yell at me sometimes but overall I don't get into trouble that much anymore because morals were instilled into me at a young age. 

I don't think parents should beat their children first of all. That probably hurts the kid's emotional state more than it helps with discipline. If a parent beats their child too often, that's classified as child abuse. There's better ways to discipline a child than harming their emotional health.

I also think sometimes that having a child sit in a corner and think doesn't really help with anything. Especially with younger children. Do parents really expect a young child to sit and think clearly about what they've done? I don't. Younger children would most likely daydream instead. Older children might think about it a little bit, but after a while, I think they just get bored and start to daydream too.

Personally, if I had a child of my own, and they did something bad, I wouldn't try to yell. In my opinion, yelling gets you nowhere. Instead, I  would try and calmly talk it over with them. That way, they would have to stay focused and you wouldn't be hurting them in any way. If they didn't listen, I would probably take something of theirs away until they paid attention for once.

I don't have any child, so this is what I would do if I had any. Parents probably will have better answers and reasons then I do.

Eniitan : Yes, I admit I MAY have prematurely judged your brother, HOWEVER, "sparing the rod" is in NO WAY "being easy." This should be used as a VERY last resort.

Lizzy555 : it depends on how the parent look like. My father is 6'4 and fairly fat, so when he screams it can be quite traumatizing

janus : Sighs* It was used as a last resort janus. And how you think of how other people's children should be punished is not as easily as you have claimed it on your post. You haven't been in their shoes enough to understand. People have their own way of doing things and you have yours lets stick to that shall we?