Two and a half years ago, I was sobering up after being a substance abuser for the better part of 2 decades. I was prone to long periods of irrational anger and depression. I was unemployed again and separated from my wife and kids.

I found Vizzed shortly thereafter and it helped to give me something to focus on which eased the anger and depression.

Two and a half years later I'm a much changed person but I find that the personality/psychological problems I had when I was a teenager and drank the first beer that started me on my lifelong addiction struggle, are still there. They're there but with a vengeance. I continue to battle them on a daily basis but have managed to remain sober for almost 3 years.

I find it very difficult to make and maintain friendships with other people. It's painful for me. But I won't make this a pity party because it's much more complex than that.

What I will do is say that I came back today after 103 days of inactivity because I had a longing for some feeling of fun that I remember from before but... I think those days are lost now.

I'm not making a "returning member" or "I'm leaving" thread. I'm not returning to play bunches of games in the RGR or go on some posting spree that I was terrible at anyway. I came back briefly to return a handful of profile comments, say "Wow, it's been almost 2 years since I signed up!" and probably go inactive again in a few short days.

This post is a "why I do the things I do" moment for the few that I felt deserved an explanation. They know who they are and will find this thread without a summons, I'm sure of it.

Welcome back! I'm sure users will appreciate you responding to their profile comments, especially Singelli who had returned from inactivity, but she fell back into inactivity again.

Best of luck battling your problems and staying sober. I'll be praying for you.

Hey.

Glad to hear a few things have gone you're way lately.

I have loads to talk about if you want to remnicient a few good times before you dissappear off into the distance again. I really want to thank you for showing me all that stuff you did with PC game developement, I'm still chasing that dream, and I've been learning Musagi on a much greater level! Even getting a fast, fast following on Deviantart just doing Sonic theories, and fanfictions. (Gaining 20 watchers in 2 months) And now my fanbase is interested in my retro music.

Man, I would love you're email if I could have it, just to chat, and talk about Game developement. I have a number of things that I think you would smile to hear about, and I want to thank you for helping, and seeing potential in me.

Life does a lot of odd things, doesn't it? We go here and there. We fight struggles. Shoot, I haven't totally enjoyed attempting to become a roofer when my real pasion is on the PC.

I bought a 900$ laptop recently just so I could continue my PC dev and writer habits. Even taking up writing a book as a second project. (To my amazement when the second chapter of a fanfiction I started a while back reached full book size.)

Never stop creating, and hang onto you dreams.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yziKzCXlAMU

Good to see you around man. I'm glad you decided to log on and check back on things here.

Good luck with everything, I hope it all turns out okay.

thephantombrain : You should respond to my PM when you log back on man.

Hoping you get and stay sober even longer.
Welcome back and hope you stay even longer also.