Here here here we go. So I'm finally here, reviewing for you. And if you know the language you can read it too. Put your hands together if you want to clap, as I butcher  up this monkey rap. HUH!
Donkey Kong 64 has been one of my favorite games. It's fantastic! It is one of those games based mostly around collecting various objects scattered throughout levels, but it's fun while being that. It makes the game feel like a large scale adventure. It stands as one of Rareware's final masterpieces.

Graphics: 8/10

The graphics are pretty good for the N64. It required the expansion pack, so the graphics are already above average. The Kongs look great, the enemies look slightly better, and the levels...The levels are astounding! Everything in the levels look astounding! The grass, water, rock, tile, lava, green...lava? Acid? I don't know what it is. But it all looks great! Although the collectables leave more to be desired. They are 2D sprites, mostly with good amounts of detail. The Banana Coins for instance have a pretty good amount of detail put into them. They're ridged, and are kind of dented. They look great. But, then the bananas look more like they're made on MS Paint. They are just solid colored, nothing really special to them.

Addictiveness: 8/10
It really depends on how much you like the exploration/collecting genre of games. But I loved this game! I've played it 4 times through now. It may just be nostalgia, but, it's a very fun game. It's at least worth a shot.

Sound: 10/10
This game has GREAT sound! The background music for all the levels are both catchy and beautiful. From DK Isles, to Creepy Castle, you'll find a very nice arrangement of music. And then there's the sound effects. They are pretty high quality for a N64 game as well. The Kong's guns all have different sounds, the enemies have lots of different noises, and all the collectables have unique sounds as well. It's a great sounding game, you can tell just by listening to some of the music that lots of care was put into making it all.

Story: 7/10

King K. Rool has hatched his latest scheme to take over Kong Island. This time, instead of taking a monkey's collection of bananas, he's taking a more...Direct approach. This being his Blast-O-Matic. A giant laser gun mounted on a ship built like K. Rool. And to make matters worse, he's captured Diddy, Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky. With most of the Kongs locked away, nothing can stop him right? Well, as egotistical as he is, he has just as much bad foresight as well. He crashes his ship on a rock near Kong Island. But who can stop this dastardly deed? None other than our favorite necktie wearing ape who somehow avoided capture, Donkey Kong! Squawks the Parrot warns Donkey Kong of what's happened. But He'll need the help of his captured buddies to stop K. Rool. Along with Cranky, his meaningful named grandfather, and aspiring chemist. Funky Kong, a monkey with more weapons than a small army. Candy, who makes musical instruments with such a sweet sound that any nearby reptiles DROP DEAD at their sounds. And Klumsey, a very very large Kremling (K. Rool's minions) hat was locked up for being, well, clumsey. But like the saying goes, "Hades hath no fury like an obese hippopotamic aligator scorned". With their help, Kong Island just may have a chance to survive!

Depth: 10/10

If you want a game with TONS of depth, this game is for you! The overworld, and all the levels, plus the enterences to said levels are all explorable. And chances are; there is something for two or more Kongs to do in each one. This game perfected the very small genre of adventure games based of collection. In each level there is: 500 Bananas (100 for each Kong to collect), 2 hard to find Banana Fairies, Film (For the camera to catch said fairies), Ammo Boxes (For each Kong's gun. The number of ammo can be upgraded), 25 Golden Bananas (5 for each Kong. A total of 201 of these golden beauties are around for you to collect.) Banana Coins (To buy upgrades), and Banana Medals (Collect these for bonus games) Crystal Coconuts (To fuel each Kong's special abilities). That's a whopping number of collectables eh? Well, in reality it isn't as scary as it sounds. But you have to hand it to the developers, this is one deep game.

Difficulty: 7/10

Most of the difficulty lies in collecting everything. The level designs are both complex, yes easy to understand. But if you miss any section, you'll know. But finding where exactly you missed will become a challenge within itself.
The controls are actually pretty simple, but it's easiest using a actual N64 controller so you can see what button is what.
Another thing that I found difficult was the minigames. They range from brain-numbingly easy, to throw your controller across the room hard. If you've ever played the game, you may cower at the mere mention of...Beaver Roundup...Beaver Roundup is a game where you play as a Klap Trap (A tiny crocodile) and the goal is to scare all the beavers into a hole in the center. Only problem is...They just don't go in the hole unless you scare them in JUST RIGHT. Like, only one small part of the hole works each time.

Bonus Stuff~!:

The level Fungi Forest was originally going to be a Banjo Kazooie level. Both the background, and the music for the level are in the game's files.

And on the subject of a series only Jontron likes, the game was most likely going to be connected to Banjo Tooie. There is date in both games for an item called "Ice Key". And Rareware developed both games so...Either that, or the entire game is actually a texture hack of Banjo Tooie, and nobody would have been the wiser, except for a person leaving that single strand of code as the only evidence of a connection between the two...

Lanky has neither style, nor grace.

The later versions of the game, along with Smash Brothers Melee, censored the DK Rap at the beginning of the game. Most people wouldn't be able to tell, but, assuming you're tough enough to listen to the whole thing; the last line of Chunky's section says "But this Kong's one hell of a guy". And, well, in England where Rareware is, that wasn't a problem. But in the US of A, people got offended, and cried. So the later releases of the game said "One heck of a guy". Nothing too big or special, just a nice bit of trivia to fill your brain.

This game is one I won't forget about anytime soon. I had lots of fun with it from start to finish. Sure, there was lots of collecting, and needlessly checking everywhere for everything, but that's most likely part of the experience. This game is a kind that hasn't been made in years, one that's about skill, exploration, and causing harm to reptiles.

Overall: 8.5/10

Come n Jordan, take it to the fridge! R-r-reviews, notificationrs, RGR plugins! TP, CP, PM'S, and TdV Banners! Oh yeah!
R-r-reviews, notifications, RGR plugins! TP, CP, PM's and TdV Banners! Oh yeah!
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(Disclaimer: Not really)

CRANKY, TAKE IT TO THE FRIDGE!!!! The DK Rap will forever be ingrained in my brain...maybe. I played so much of this when I was younger (it was my first N64 game). I almost got all 201 bananas...but not quite. I'm currently playing through the game on occasion to finish what I didn't before I sell the game, hopefully (although if someone buys, I'll go ahead and sell it).

Also, I got the uncensored version of the DK Rap ;-;

Fungi Forest was my least favorite level when I was younger (although I loved the minecart section of the level). And I HATED the bees. Now they're little more than slight jump scares, but I would be on the verge of crying when I was younger. I didn't want to get any golden bananas that involved dealing with lots of bees (so as you might imagine, my least favorite section was that part you can access with Diddy Kong in Jungle Japes).

AND HOW DARE YOU CALL K. LUMSY OBESE!!!!!! He's just...really big.