Battletoads. This is a two player game that plays outs a rescue mission in about 12 stages. Now one in every 4 is going to be a tough one, at least. This is also one of the few games I can think of that I can more easily beat the game single player - two player for me is a lot tougher, we'll go into that later. Are you too late to jump on the 90's attitude bandwagon and fight evil and darkness with these mutant space-traveling frogs?

Story: 7
Rash, Zits and Pimpe are your 3 Battletoads, but Pimple has been kidnapped - along with some alien princess the amphians were supposed to be protecting. Way to blow it, guys! Their mentor, Professor T.Bird will offer scant guidance and morale support as you (and possibly a second player buddy) go after the guilty party- the Dark Queen. What's her name, well she doesn't have one. But she does wear a lot of DARK CLOTHING. I guess that qualifies.

The fact Prof T.Bird and the Dark Queen take turns applauding/berating your progress through the game is a great way to keep their characters in the loop and keep you focused on the mission at hand. The do tell a couple of groan-worthy lines, but come on, this is game with mutant frogs named after skin blemishes.

Sadly the princess and Pimple are nearly forgettable, you never see them until the very, very end of the game, and they have no dialog. I kind of wish they had just said, Dark Queen's lair, go kick her butt! And been done with it.


Graphics: 8 
I do like they try things with perspective (you fight the first boss while looking through its robotic eyes), and the 3-d rotation on the Dark Queen's tower is interesting. The areas and textures are often flat and uninteresting though. The backgrounds for the stage often just a repeating loop. All the improvised weapons look cheap and flat, like stickers, and the only health source (flies) are also strange and golden, with no definition. 

Our heroes fortunately have a lot of animation. Their superpower is their limbs can transform. So if you are punching on an enemy, your toad can suddenly sprout a giant fist and punch them off the map. Knock a bad guy down into the dirt, you can grow a giant combat boot and punt him to the moon. While rappelling down a gorge, you can turn your whole body into a wrecking ball. Rare does have a lot of fun with this - and it helps the player sink in that these toads are superhuman heroes. 

The two cut scene dominators, the luscious Dark Queen and the fatherly, feathery T. Birrd, are well done  and don't disappoint.


Sound: 8
There are some pretty good tunes to this actually. It starts right at the beginning. The pause music. Yes, this game has pause music, and its good! The faster stages, the infamous speeder bike (noob crusher) and the race to disarm the bomb later have the better music. Some like the surf stage and the Dark Queen's tower are boring and forgettable.

The sound effects are great! Each giant hit from your battering ram hands (or horns) have a sickening THUD as they launch the enemy into orbit. The punching effects are pretty good too.


Addictiveness: 7
Once I beat it, I played it a few more times. But honestly, this game has some bad stages that are just a bore. It is sandwiched between really awesome stages. So on a map, it will show 3 stages, and for each one, one is a vehicle and one is a brawler, and the other is kind of a wildcard.

 I think this game could be addicting to people trying to prove they can beat it. It will crush you, alot, and some people don't take that lying down (or sitting down and gaming either). There are no secrets really, and no extra quest or anything to add to the enjoyment. Maybe because its hard they thought that would be enough.


Depth: 6
The choice you have in the attacks is novel, and some strategy can help lead to bonuses like extra lives if you know how to get the most points out of your kill. You can also gain 1ups by juggling an enemy, easiest in stage 2.

But the paths are all one way, and you don't get much choice between do it this way or die. Thats really what this game is all about. You will die until you get it just right.


Difficulty. 9
I didn't really think it was the hardest game ever. The speeder bike is a lot of fun, good thing because it requires extensive, EXTENSIVE memorization. By the end of it, you are doing lane changes lightning fast, its borderline insane. Strangely, later on there is a flying level, and I found that much easier than the bikes. Why wasn't it first? Maybe because its not as much fun.

Two player for me is bad. I could not work with a partner because team injury is always on. You can hit and kill each other. And pits are EVERYWHERE. So much instant death in this game. So you end up trying to fight things and accidentally knocking your buddy off the ledge - and you both share the continues. No thank you, I'll beat this all by myself.

There are bosses, but they are very lackluster. The Dark Queen, is rather ridiculous, and animated so poorly it was silly.

So there are hard stages sprinkled in with easier stages. You get a life bar but thats a joke. All enemies will either kill you outright, or take off half your life bar. Its not really there to help you.

Final Verdict: 8.2
For those about to punish themselves, we salute you. Its ok. Not the best game ever.

Yeah, I don't really understand why this game got its 'infamously hard' reputation. Not to say that it isn't challenging. It is. But like most of the more difficult NES games, it mainly required a little trial and error to figure things out, and a lot of memorization. When you got the level events down, it really isn't bad. Especially that speed bike level. I often see this labeled as one of (if not the) most difficult levels ever. It makes me wonder if people are just not understanding the mechanics of it. I have seen a lot of people think that you have to push the jump button when hitting ramps, which more often than not resulted in jumping over the ramp. I see videos of people trying to jump over the blue double wall because they don't realize it is floating and so you go under it. I have seen videos of people not keeping their bikes to the far left, severely reducing the reaction time for when each obstacle comes in. Are those things that everyone is doing? If so, then yeah, it is going to be ridiculously hard. You mainly have to memorize and play it correctly. I remember as a kid, I was able to play through ALMOST every section of the bike part without taking my eyes off the health meter. Can't do that now, I am sure, but still. The game is not THAT bad.

Though I do admit that Robo-Mantis is a cheap boss. It seems his main purpose is to chisel down extra lives that you have accumulated. One hit from his gun spells instant death as the bullets hit you even if you are laying on the ground after being hit by a non fatal shot, and even if you jumps on you on one of his jumps that goes like a foot in the air is an instant squash death. That part was always a bit ridiculous.

That and the second to last level. Even when you memorize things, you have to be near perfection on every quick turn, or you are screwed. I hated being on that last stretch before fighting the orb just to have him catch up at the last second and make me have to start the whole thing over again.

rcarter2 : Yes I agree, there are way harder games. 

Genesis in general, had some really brutal difficulties. From just merciless - Chakan, to the horribly executed - Slaughtersport. When I hear anyone is a bigtime Genesis fan, I already figure they can deal with difficulties.

If anyone can beat the last level of Genesis game El Viento, that is what I consider super tough. It was ridiculous!

endings : I really liked your review on this, I'll have to check it out sometime.

endings : I am definitely familiar with Chakan. In my deathless run challenge thread, someone challenged me to beat Chakan on hard mode with no deaths. Took me FOREVER, but I submitted a video of me doing it on that game's page here. The controls and fighting mechanism on that game really was horribly executed. Couldn't agree more.