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Playing Doctor: Worst Aid Edition

 

05-18-14 07:48 PM
TheReaper7290 is Offline
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What you do is take a hammer and hit your self in the head until it doesn't hurt anymore.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
I this rash on my hand and it won't go away.
What you do is take a hammer and hit your self in the head until it doesn't hurt anymore.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
I this rash on my hand and it won't go away.
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(edited by TheReaper7290 on 05-18-14 07:49 PM)    

05-18-14 09:39 PM
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Just apply a hammer to it.

My nail is broken.
Just apply a hammer to it.

My nail is broken.
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05-19-14 11:15 AM
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zanderlex :

Well, it's tough, but I think you can meld it back together with a sauntering iron. Just be careful putting it back in then your done! Bye now!


....OOooohhhh.. Fingernail.... Welp, to late now.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me the news, I gotta,

BAD CASSSSEEE, of PIKACHUUUSSS
zanderlex :

Well, it's tough, but I think you can meld it back together with a sauntering iron. Just be careful putting it back in then your done! Bye now!


....OOooohhhh.. Fingernail.... Welp, to late now.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me the news, I gotta,

BAD CASSSSEEE, of PIKACHUUUSSS
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(edited by PhilipDraco on 05-19-14 12:17 PM)    

05-19-14 11:49 AM
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That has a simple cure, all you have to do is stop watching TV and playing video games for 10 years and you will be fine.

Doctor!! My hair is on fire!!
That has a simple cure, all you have to do is stop watching TV and playing video games for 10 years and you will be fine.

Doctor!! My hair is on fire!!
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05-19-14 01:49 PM
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This is common and happens to everyone. All you need to do is add some nitro gas, and you'll be good as new!

Doctor, my hand is green!!
This is common and happens to everyone. All you need to do is add some nitro gas, and you'll be good as new!

Doctor, my hand is green!!
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05-21-14 09:56 AM
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Kuti_Kat : That's a common thing and easy to cure, just eat paint that isn't green and the other colours will make the green fade away.

Doctor, I can't fall asleep anymore for a week now.
Kuti_Kat : That's a common thing and easy to cure, just eat paint that isn't green and the other colours will make the green fade away.

Doctor, I can't fall asleep anymore for a week now.
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05-23-14 01:37 PM
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drink sugary sodas, the crash that'll follow should help...

... i'm tired...
drink sugary sodas, the crash that'll follow should help...

... i'm tired...
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05-23-14 01:53 PM
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All you need to do is play annoying music. Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Roll is highly recommended.

My femur bone cracked in half, how do I cure it?
All you need to do is play annoying music. Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Roll is highly recommended.

My femur bone cracked in half, how do I cure it?
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05-23-14 05:45 PM
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Kuti_Kat : cut the skin open and use super glue to seal the crack.

I have this pain in my neck that won't go away what do I do doctor.
Kuti_Kat : cut the skin open and use super glue to seal the crack.

I have this pain in my neck that won't go away what do I do doctor.
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05-24-14 07:16 AM
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Take a small, but sharp pin and keep poking your neck. The deeper the poke, the better

Doctor, I have a fever.
Take a small, but sharp pin and keep poking your neck. The deeper the poke, the better

Doctor, I have a fever.
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05-24-14 02:09 PM
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A fever? I suggest a vacation to the Arctic. For best results, wear nothing more than your standard swimsuit.

Doctor, I have reason to believe that I am being brainwashed by an alien race known as the Squigglewiggles.
A fever? I suggest a vacation to the Arctic. For best results, wear nothing more than your standard swimsuit.

Doctor, I have reason to believe that I am being brainwashed by an alien race known as the Squigglewiggles.
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05-26-14 03:43 PM
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Thebiguglyalien : That's your imagination! Walk outside with a fresh tomato and a soup bowl and ask the Squigglewiggles if they can tell you what has been going on.

Doctor, I can't use my fingers anymore since they are to numb.
Thebiguglyalien : That's your imagination! Walk outside with a fresh tomato and a soup bowl and ask the Squigglewiggles if they can tell you what has been going on.

Doctor, I can't use my fingers anymore since they are to numb.
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05-26-14 03:48 PM
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juuldude : Well then I think you should start carrying very heavy objects with those fingers that should make them stronger. 
 
 doctor I broke my toe on a table.
juuldude : Well then I think you should start carrying very heavy objects with those fingers that should make them stronger. 
 
 doctor I broke my toe on a table.
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06-02-14 09:40 AM
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awesomeguy279 : Cool!  Now break your other toe so they match!

Doctor, I think I ate a bug.
awesomeguy279 : Cool!  Now break your other toe so they match!

Doctor, I think I ate a bug.
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06-02-14 09:44 AM
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supernerd117 : Don't worry, bugs are heatlthy. If it was a poisonous bug however, then drink some acid to kill it.

Doctor, I broke my feet and I have trouble walking now.
supernerd117 : Don't worry, bugs are heatlthy. If it was a poisonous bug however, then drink some acid to kill it.

Doctor, I broke my feet and I have trouble walking now.
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06-04-14 08:51 AM
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Ahh, don't be a wimp!  Show that foot who's boss!
Run on treadmills! Do some Rock-climbing! Surely then it'll stop complaining.

If not, well, then, hit it with a wrench to fix it (Well, that's how they fix things in video games, anyway...)


It appears I've grow an extra arm. What should I do, doctor?
Ahh, don't be a wimp!  Show that foot who's boss!
Run on treadmills! Do some Rock-climbing! Surely then it'll stop complaining.

If not, well, then, hit it with a wrench to fix it (Well, that's how they fix things in video games, anyway...)


It appears I've grow an extra arm. What should I do, doctor?
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06-04-14 08:08 PM
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Cut the skin of the arm until it hurts badly. Then rub it with beer. The final step is to play Never Gonna Give You Up on the piano with that arm. Then the arm will be so tortured that it fades away. Cured!

Doctor, my ditto powers won't work.
Cut the skin of the arm until it hurts badly. Then rub it with beer. The final step is to play Never Gonna Give You Up on the piano with that arm. Then the arm will be so tortured that it fades away. Cured!

Doctor, my ditto powers won't work.
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06-04-14 09:50 PM
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Then run into a volcano, lava is known to give powers.

I have a splinter in my foot.
Then run into a volcano, lava is known to give powers.

I have a splinter in my foot.
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06-04-14 10:10 PM
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Oh, a splinter, huh? Now do you want to cure this the easy way or the hard way? Easy, you say? Okay then: first, use you finger to push in the splinter as deep into your foot as possible. Then, take a .50 caliber handgun and shoot the exact spot were you had the splinter. Now, locate the splinter and flush it down the toilet. Finally wrap your foot in duct tape. There you go. Enjoy your day!

Oi, Doc! I think that I have a tick attached to my skin. Help me, please!
Oh, a splinter, huh? Now do you want to cure this the easy way or the hard way? Easy, you say? Okay then: first, use you finger to push in the splinter as deep into your foot as possible. Then, take a .50 caliber handgun and shoot the exact spot were you had the splinter. Now, locate the splinter and flush it down the toilet. Finally wrap your foot in duct tape. There you go. Enjoy your day!

Oi, Doc! I think that I have a tick attached to my skin. Help me, please!
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06-08-14 02:29 AM
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A tick? Well buy a pet cat and a small laser one toy and aim the laser one's laser on your skin then the cat will get it. Or you can get a pet Oxpecker (witch is a type of bird.)

Doctor, i am speaking Japanese and i dont know what I'm saying!
A tick? Well buy a pet cat and a small laser one toy and aim the laser one's laser on your skin then the cat will get it. Or you can get a pet Oxpecker (witch is a type of bird.)

Doctor, i am speaking Japanese and i dont know what I'm saying!
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