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03-28-24 05:09 PM

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Purity: where do you stand?

 

12-11-12 01:55 PM
Eirinn is Offline
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I've been watching Christmas movies like crazy lol and they always seem to have the hero just grab a girl and BOOM cue make out session. Personally I'm getting disgusted by it all. I mean, why must we make out with everyone we have a crush on? Though I'm speaking of a different kind of purity in this thread, I trust those old enough to read this will know what I'm talking about without me spelling it out. These movies just have me wondering where we draw the line with such intimacy. I myself am yet to kiss a girl at age 25, and I'm proud of that. I have resolved to save my first kiss for when the preacher says "you may now kiss the bride", so that my kiss will actually mean something. What would it mean if every girl I crushed on or dated locked lips with me? If you kiss a lot of people, that's you. I'm not trying to hate or disrespect, nor would I think any less of you. But the real question is about more than just a kiss, but one's purity. Does anyone save themselves for marriage anymore?
This is not intended to turn into a debate, so please, let's just share opinions in a respectful way. I myself would like to apologize if any of these things I have said hurt or offended anyone. I assure that is not my intention.
I've been watching Christmas movies like crazy lol and they always seem to have the hero just grab a girl and BOOM cue make out session. Personally I'm getting disgusted by it all. I mean, why must we make out with everyone we have a crush on? Though I'm speaking of a different kind of purity in this thread, I trust those old enough to read this will know what I'm talking about without me spelling it out. These movies just have me wondering where we draw the line with such intimacy. I myself am yet to kiss a girl at age 25, and I'm proud of that. I have resolved to save my first kiss for when the preacher says "you may now kiss the bride", so that my kiss will actually mean something. What would it mean if every girl I crushed on or dated locked lips with me? If you kiss a lot of people, that's you. I'm not trying to hate or disrespect, nor would I think any less of you. But the real question is about more than just a kiss, but one's purity. Does anyone save themselves for marriage anymore?
This is not intended to turn into a debate, so please, let's just share opinions in a respectful way. I myself would like to apologize if any of these things I have said hurt or offended anyone. I assure that is not my intention.
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12-11-12 04:47 PM
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Of all the posts I have seen on this forum board, I could not agree with this one more.  I could probably rant about this topic for just as long as I could rant about my passion for education.  However, I'm going to leave my agreement limited to what I've just said.  I had a very disheartening day, and so I probably shouldn't rant about something that will depress me even further.

However, I think I'll make this the topic of my third devotional.  I've already got an idea for the second one, so I think I'll save the ranting on this topic for my third reflection on God's Word.
Of all the posts I have seen on this forum board, I could not agree with this one more.  I could probably rant about this topic for just as long as I could rant about my passion for education.  However, I'm going to leave my agreement limited to what I've just said.  I had a very disheartening day, and so I probably shouldn't rant about something that will depress me even further.

However, I think I'll make this the topic of my third devotional.  I've already got an idea for the second one, so I think I'll save the ranting on this topic for my third reflection on God's Word.
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12-11-12 04:53 PM
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lol, I don't get it. Are you talking about the kissing you see on ALL The movies?
lol, I don't get it. Are you talking about the kissing you see on ALL The movies?
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12-11-12 05:08 PM
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Not really. That is what provoked the question, but it's actually more about a more intimate relationship than just kissing, though kissing is also part of the issue. Curious about who believes in purity in the area of kissing and also in giving one's self away.
Not really. That is what provoked the question, but it's actually more about a more intimate relationship than just kissing, though kissing is also part of the issue. Curious about who believes in purity in the area of kissing and also in giving one's self away.
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12-11-12 08:35 PM
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First, I'm baffled that you're 25 and you haven't/don't want to kiss anyone.  Kissing is simply a physical expression of love and emotion between two people and is completely healthy and fine.  I remember my first kiss years ago.  I was 13.  It was fun and exciting and with a girl I really like back then.  I don't regret and I certainly don't make it similar to sex in regards to 'purity.'  It's only kissing.  It's a normal, healthy activity and can teach you a lot about yourself and others. 

I also did not wait to have sex after marriage.  I'm not particularly religious.  I believe in being nice to others and respecting all cultures and differences.  I usually do as best I can to do that.  But, I had sex when I was 16 and I'm now married for six years in a happy marriage with a beautiful woman.  She was not the first person I had sex with nor was I her first.  Neither of us feel bad or ashamed of that fact.  Sex is also a physical representation of emotions, feelings and love and is perfectly natural in a relationship.  Humans are sexual beings and to deny ourselves that leads to a variety of problems with repression of natural desires. 

Sexuality is something that nature competes over fiercely.  The rogue elephants in India that destroy villages and kill people are sexually repressed.  A lot of criminals are sexually repressed or abused as children.  It's a negative that creates a lot of debate but I think in a healthy relationship, sex is perfectly fine prior to marriage.

I am also not very 'pure' from the definition but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person or a mean person or I'm wrong.  I have fun and I'm confident in myself.  I respect my wife and other people.  That's all that matters to me.
First, I'm baffled that you're 25 and you haven't/don't want to kiss anyone.  Kissing is simply a physical expression of love and emotion between two people and is completely healthy and fine.  I remember my first kiss years ago.  I was 13.  It was fun and exciting and with a girl I really like back then.  I don't regret and I certainly don't make it similar to sex in regards to 'purity.'  It's only kissing.  It's a normal, healthy activity and can teach you a lot about yourself and others. 

I also did not wait to have sex after marriage.  I'm not particularly religious.  I believe in being nice to others and respecting all cultures and differences.  I usually do as best I can to do that.  But, I had sex when I was 16 and I'm now married for six years in a happy marriage with a beautiful woman.  She was not the first person I had sex with nor was I her first.  Neither of us feel bad or ashamed of that fact.  Sex is also a physical representation of emotions, feelings and love and is perfectly natural in a relationship.  Humans are sexual beings and to deny ourselves that leads to a variety of problems with repression of natural desires. 

Sexuality is something that nature competes over fiercely.  The rogue elephants in India that destroy villages and kill people are sexually repressed.  A lot of criminals are sexually repressed or abused as children.  It's a negative that creates a lot of debate but I think in a healthy relationship, sex is perfectly fine prior to marriage.

I am also not very 'pure' from the definition but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person or a mean person or I'm wrong.  I have fun and I'm confident in myself.  I respect my wife and other people.  That's all that matters to me.
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12-11-12 08:50 PM
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While I respect your decission to hold off on kissing your girl till your married; its quite odd (I had my first kiss when I was young.)

Second, I don't mind having sex before getting married. I view how good the sex is as just how much chemestry me and the girl I'm with have (physical chemestry I should point out.) But then again it depends on whether both you and your girl wish to wait for want to sleep together. Just don't resort to sleeping with others if you dislike the sex or you break up because of the sex; its not a valid reason for breaking up.
While I respect your decission to hold off on kissing your girl till your married; its quite odd (I had my first kiss when I was young.)

Second, I don't mind having sex before getting married. I view how good the sex is as just how much chemestry me and the girl I'm with have (physical chemestry I should point out.) But then again it depends on whether both you and your girl wish to wait for want to sleep together. Just don't resort to sleeping with others if you dislike the sex or you break up because of the sex; its not a valid reason for breaking up.
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12-12-12 03:20 PM
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warmaker : I apologize if my choice of words was offensive. I don't mean to imply that anyone who doesn't do as I, is impure or dirty, I just needed a term to use that could convey my message without putting it any more plainly than I was comfortable with. Also I understand that the kissing part isn't all that heard of, but I actually know others who are doing the same thing (Not for religious reasons actually), so it isn't entirely unheard of. As for abstinence, I do try to practice controlling my urges and desires in many areas of life, though I do respect those who choose to do otherwise. Oh and I never said I was 25 and didn't WANT to kiss her, just that I wouldn't yet. lol! Thanks for the input.
warmaker : I apologize if my choice of words was offensive. I don't mean to imply that anyone who doesn't do as I, is impure or dirty, I just needed a term to use that could convey my message without putting it any more plainly than I was comfortable with. Also I understand that the kissing part isn't all that heard of, but I actually know others who are doing the same thing (Not for religious reasons actually), so it isn't entirely unheard of. As for abstinence, I do try to practice controlling my urges and desires in many areas of life, though I do respect those who choose to do otherwise. Oh and I never said I was 25 and didn't WANT to kiss her, just that I wouldn't yet. lol! Thanks for the input.
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12-12-12 03:26 PM
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I actually know several people that did not kiss until they were married, and one of them got married at 27 years old. These people are some of the happiest people I know and I admire them very much.  It's not unheard of by any means actually.  I wanted to do the same (wait for my first kiss until the wedding day), but my desire to do so only came after I matured into the adult I am now (and by then I had already had my first kiss).  Unfortunately, I went into a dark period of my life at 19, and that year was the one in which I lost respect for my own self.

However, my first kiss was when I was 18 years old.  I did not date until I was 17.  As I posted elsewhere on this site, I dated the guy for five months, and when we DID finally kiss, it was a chaste kiss on my cheek.  No contact of the lips or anything. It stayed that way for many months even after that first kiss (just kisses on the cheek, I mean).
I actually know several people that did not kiss until they were married, and one of them got married at 27 years old. These people are some of the happiest people I know and I admire them very much.  It's not unheard of by any means actually.  I wanted to do the same (wait for my first kiss until the wedding day), but my desire to do so only came after I matured into the adult I am now (and by then I had already had my first kiss).  Unfortunately, I went into a dark period of my life at 19, and that year was the one in which I lost respect for my own self.

However, my first kiss was when I was 18 years old.  I did not date until I was 17.  As I posted elsewhere on this site, I dated the guy for five months, and when we DID finally kiss, it was a chaste kiss on my cheek.  No contact of the lips or anything. It stayed that way for many months even after that first kiss (just kisses on the cheek, I mean).
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12-12-12 05:00 PM
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Well, I halfway agree with you. I think that it is crazy how passive people are with sex nowadays. It is being turned into a recreation instead of something between 2 people who love each other (and might actually have a future together). Kissing, I don't agree with. To clarify, I hate when you see young (really, people at any age) just making out in public. Though I don't see kissing as a big deal, it is still something that doesn't need to be displayed like it is. I mean, have some self awareness. A simple kiss in public is okay to me, but people are going overboard with it.
 
Now, for the part on sex, I think people are just giving that away too easily. They convince themselves that the person they have been with for a couple weeks is 'the one'. Almost any person I know did not stay with the person they first had sex with (or second, third, fourth....). That shows that you are not giving your relationship enough time. 

You know how you know you are ready to have sex in your relationship? When you realize that you don't feel the NEED to have sex with that person. Now, let me clarify. You can have a desire. That is different. But if you have that desire, but you have no problem with waiting, that is a good sign. If you are at that point where it is driving you nuts and you NEED to have sex, that probably means your relationship is not as satisfying to you anymore, so you need it to keep the relationship alive. That is not good. 

This has always been my philosophy. If you truly plan to spend your life with someone, then why do you need to have sex now? For a lot of my high school friends who got married 1-2 years into college, I say why do you need to get married now? Sex and marriage should be something you do when you are able to take on the things that come with it. It would be hard to juggle a marriage and kids so young. Again, if you plan on spending your life with someone, that stuff can wait until you are emotionally AND financially able to handle it. 

My wife and I started going out in 2006 right before high school graduation. We moved in together 2 years later (when we transferred to a college hours away from home). We lived together for 4 years and we just got married 6 months ago. That time span is an important detail to my point. I was a virgin until I got married. So we lived together for 4 years and slept in the same bed, but never did anything. We knew we could. But we also know that college years are your selfish years and it is not a stable time for people. We knew we weren't ready for what could happen if we did have sex, so we were both fine with not having sex even after being together for 6 years (living together for 4 of them).

I am not saying that everyone should do that. But I can say that I waited until I was responsible enough to handle anything that comes with sex.
Well, I halfway agree with you. I think that it is crazy how passive people are with sex nowadays. It is being turned into a recreation instead of something between 2 people who love each other (and might actually have a future together). Kissing, I don't agree with. To clarify, I hate when you see young (really, people at any age) just making out in public. Though I don't see kissing as a big deal, it is still something that doesn't need to be displayed like it is. I mean, have some self awareness. A simple kiss in public is okay to me, but people are going overboard with it.
 
Now, for the part on sex, I think people are just giving that away too easily. They convince themselves that the person they have been with for a couple weeks is 'the one'. Almost any person I know did not stay with the person they first had sex with (or second, third, fourth....). That shows that you are not giving your relationship enough time. 

You know how you know you are ready to have sex in your relationship? When you realize that you don't feel the NEED to have sex with that person. Now, let me clarify. You can have a desire. That is different. But if you have that desire, but you have no problem with waiting, that is a good sign. If you are at that point where it is driving you nuts and you NEED to have sex, that probably means your relationship is not as satisfying to you anymore, so you need it to keep the relationship alive. That is not good. 

This has always been my philosophy. If you truly plan to spend your life with someone, then why do you need to have sex now? For a lot of my high school friends who got married 1-2 years into college, I say why do you need to get married now? Sex and marriage should be something you do when you are able to take on the things that come with it. It would be hard to juggle a marriage and kids so young. Again, if you plan on spending your life with someone, that stuff can wait until you are emotionally AND financially able to handle it. 

My wife and I started going out in 2006 right before high school graduation. We moved in together 2 years later (when we transferred to a college hours away from home). We lived together for 4 years and we just got married 6 months ago. That time span is an important detail to my point. I was a virgin until I got married. So we lived together for 4 years and slept in the same bed, but never did anything. We knew we could. But we also know that college years are your selfish years and it is not a stable time for people. We knew we weren't ready for what could happen if we did have sex, so we were both fine with not having sex even after being together for 6 years (living together for 4 of them).

I am not saying that everyone should do that. But I can say that I waited until I was responsible enough to handle anything that comes with sex.
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12-12-12 05:28 PM
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rcarter2 : outstanding post. I loved hearing your story, it was refreshing and a new take on things for me. Also I agree with your comments about kissing in that I do not think it is wrong to do so, so long as it is done appropriately. I just choose not to. I liken it to my choice to be a vegetarian: it isn't wrong to eat meat, but I choose not to for my own reasons. So it is with kissing prior to marriage: it isn't wrong, I just choose not to, as I personally feel it will mean more to me that way, and to my wife. Just an opinion. Again, I really enjoyed and appreciated your comments.

Singelli : Thank you for your comments as well. I'm posting this for everyone of all opinions to share, but reading your posts of positive reinforcement have been refreshing.
rcarter2 : outstanding post. I loved hearing your story, it was refreshing and a new take on things for me. Also I agree with your comments about kissing in that I do not think it is wrong to do so, so long as it is done appropriately. I just choose not to. I liken it to my choice to be a vegetarian: it isn't wrong to eat meat, but I choose not to for my own reasons. So it is with kissing prior to marriage: it isn't wrong, I just choose not to, as I personally feel it will mean more to me that way, and to my wife. Just an opinion. Again, I really enjoyed and appreciated your comments.

Singelli : Thank you for your comments as well. I'm posting this for everyone of all opinions to share, but reading your posts of positive reinforcement have been refreshing.
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12-12-12 05:59 PM
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I honestly do not see a problem waiting until marriage before having sex. I find it odd to not share a kiss before marriage, but would not (and do not) think any less of those who choose to. It certainly is not something for me.

I also do not see a problem with NOT waiting; it's a person's choice to make just as the choice waiting.

I had my first REAL kiss at 14 (I do not count a kiss I did on a dare when I was 12), and it was with someone else who had never kissed someone. It honestly was rather awkward; our teeth hit a few times and they were like... breathing air into me, haha. I am glad for the first real kiss and all, but I think it would have helped if I dated someone who had kissed before to learn better, which my next relationship aided. Despite being awkward, I was glad to have done it, even if that relationship did not last long.

As for sex, I lost my virginity at 15 to someone who DID have experience. This was not a relationship, however, it was just a hook up. It may not have been very special, but I am fine and happy to have done it as it helped me not feel like a fool the next time I had sex with someone I DID care about (and was experienced). It's not a prime reason for intercourse, but it is not something I am ashamed of either.

When it comes to who I date, I think I rather have someone with experience. Mainly because I rather not have to play teacher, but also afraid if sometime down the line while we're dating, they might feel "stuck" having not experienced anyone else. That all said, it is not like I would reject someone based on their experience, it simply is a preference.
I honestly do not see a problem waiting until marriage before having sex. I find it odd to not share a kiss before marriage, but would not (and do not) think any less of those who choose to. It certainly is not something for me.

I also do not see a problem with NOT waiting; it's a person's choice to make just as the choice waiting.

I had my first REAL kiss at 14 (I do not count a kiss I did on a dare when I was 12), and it was with someone else who had never kissed someone. It honestly was rather awkward; our teeth hit a few times and they were like... breathing air into me, haha. I am glad for the first real kiss and all, but I think it would have helped if I dated someone who had kissed before to learn better, which my next relationship aided. Despite being awkward, I was glad to have done it, even if that relationship did not last long.

As for sex, I lost my virginity at 15 to someone who DID have experience. This was not a relationship, however, it was just a hook up. It may not have been very special, but I am fine and happy to have done it as it helped me not feel like a fool the next time I had sex with someone I DID care about (and was experienced). It's not a prime reason for intercourse, but it is not something I am ashamed of either.

When it comes to who I date, I think I rather have someone with experience. Mainly because I rather not have to play teacher, but also afraid if sometime down the line while we're dating, they might feel "stuck" having not experienced anyone else. That all said, it is not like I would reject someone based on their experience, it simply is a preference.
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12-12-12 09:04 PM
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I'd just like to say that I am still pure. It hasn't been my intention but whatever lol.

I'd like to think that people aren't articles of clothing that get stained and need to be tossed away or something. That being said, I guess I'm a bit of a romantic that enjoys that pure love sort of thing.

I'd just like to say that I am still pure. It hasn't been my intention but whatever lol.

I'd like to think that people aren't articles of clothing that get stained and need to be tossed away or something. That being said, I guess I'm a bit of a romantic that enjoys that pure love sort of thing.

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12-13-12 01:15 PM
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I do believe in purity and believe that alot of us can get to that certain point to have sex after marriage. The truth is I did wanted to wait until marriage to have sex with that special someone. So, when I was 14 I had my first kiss. I do regret it because the guy that kissed me just bothered me alot. He kept bothering me to the point where he would tell me to have sex. I didn't want to end up being used just for their pleasures. By the time I was 18, I met my first boyfriend in church. We started having sex after 5 months of dating. I didn't regret doing it with him and never will. So after that, my mom found out (don't know how) and she was really mad at me. So I decided to move out with him. We are still living together and are getting married this month (December) or January
I do believe in purity and believe that alot of us can get to that certain point to have sex after marriage. The truth is I did wanted to wait until marriage to have sex with that special someone. So, when I was 14 I had my first kiss. I do regret it because the guy that kissed me just bothered me alot. He kept bothering me to the point where he would tell me to have sex. I didn't want to end up being used just for their pleasures. By the time I was 18, I met my first boyfriend in church. We started having sex after 5 months of dating. I didn't regret doing it with him and never will. So after that, my mom found out (don't know how) and she was really mad at me. So I decided to move out with him. We are still living together and are getting married this month (December) or January
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12-15-12 03:08 PM
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Wow. Somehow I failed to notice how many people had replied. Well I appreciate everyone's honesty and kindness. I kind of expected to catch some grief over some of my comments, so I was relieved that didn't happen. Anyway, I'm seeing a decline in the number of people adhering to these beliefs and decisions that they made, among those closest to me. So getting the positive feedback is nice. And getting posts from people that don't feel the same way, has also helped me. I feel the more I hear from people on these subjects, the better I can understand the situations we all face in life. My resolve has only gotten stronger. Thanks to all of you for not flaming or mocking in any way.
Wow. Somehow I failed to notice how many people had replied. Well I appreciate everyone's honesty and kindness. I kind of expected to catch some grief over some of my comments, so I was relieved that didn't happen. Anyway, I'm seeing a decline in the number of people adhering to these beliefs and decisions that they made, among those closest to me. So getting the positive feedback is nice. And getting posts from people that don't feel the same way, has also helped me. I feel the more I hear from people on these subjects, the better I can understand the situations we all face in life. My resolve has only gotten stronger. Thanks to all of you for not flaming or mocking in any way.
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Eirinn


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12-15-12 03:12 PM
Singelli is Offline
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I started to post a response in my devotional but got a little sidetracked.  Needless to say, I thought I'd let you know if you wanted to skim over it.  LOL
I started to post a response in my devotional but got a little sidetracked.  Needless to say, I thought I'd let you know if you wanted to skim over it.  LOL
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Singelli


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12-18-12 01:27 AM
VAponte is Offline
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I haven't kissed a girl yet either & I'm 19. Though that's because I can't really do anything for a girl now (long story). Kissing to me is fine as long as it's clean & not some over-dramatic sex-like kissing scene people try & copy from movies. Sex for me has to wait until marriage. I'm Christian-Catholic (though I feel I need to do more than I'm doing for church ATM, again long story), but that's not the only reason I wanna wait.

I think that having sex is as physically & emotionally close as 2 people can get & feel like that should only be between 2 people who love each other. People might say they love someone yet don't believe in marriage but that doesn't make any sense to me. Why would you not wanna get in front of a bunch of people & say "this is the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with" & have them say it to you & make it official? Just kissing that person, saying you love someone (even when you mean it) & having sex w/ that person (when it's meaningful) still doesn't make your relationship set in stone.

Should there be anything that comes between the two of you all you have to do is look on your hand at the ring on your finger & remember what that symbolizes: that the 2 of you are together forever. For someone to decide that you have to be truly in love & that can motivate you enough to fix an issue a marriage has. What do people who don't have those rings or their significance have to remember their love for each other? People can still leave year-long relationships w/ out ever having some sort of recognizable obligation to their former love. While the moments you shared are obviously worth something to you & you wanna repair any possible damage your relationship might've had, not everyone recognizes something they can't see.

Also, there are plenty of people who look at couples who love each other but decide not to get married & try it themselves, then suffer some sort of separation & are left w/ children to take care of on their own or no house to stay at. And of course married people have permanent separations as well. Divorces exist for a reason. Though I personally feel like that while reasons for divorce vary, the most common factor leading to the break-up was that they weren't compatible emotionally &/or physically. If you don't have both of those things, you're not in love, no matter what anyone says.

I know I branched off from kissing, which was the main topic here, but kissing is part of physical intimacy (though a much less serious one than others) which is extremely important to marriages. So I hope I made my point clear & sorry if I didn't.
I haven't kissed a girl yet either & I'm 19. Though that's because I can't really do anything for a girl now (long story). Kissing to me is fine as long as it's clean & not some over-dramatic sex-like kissing scene people try & copy from movies. Sex for me has to wait until marriage. I'm Christian-Catholic (though I feel I need to do more than I'm doing for church ATM, again long story), but that's not the only reason I wanna wait.

I think that having sex is as physically & emotionally close as 2 people can get & feel like that should only be between 2 people who love each other. People might say they love someone yet don't believe in marriage but that doesn't make any sense to me. Why would you not wanna get in front of a bunch of people & say "this is the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with" & have them say it to you & make it official? Just kissing that person, saying you love someone (even when you mean it) & having sex w/ that person (when it's meaningful) still doesn't make your relationship set in stone.

Should there be anything that comes between the two of you all you have to do is look on your hand at the ring on your finger & remember what that symbolizes: that the 2 of you are together forever. For someone to decide that you have to be truly in love & that can motivate you enough to fix an issue a marriage has. What do people who don't have those rings or their significance have to remember their love for each other? People can still leave year-long relationships w/ out ever having some sort of recognizable obligation to their former love. While the moments you shared are obviously worth something to you & you wanna repair any possible damage your relationship might've had, not everyone recognizes something they can't see.

Also, there are plenty of people who look at couples who love each other but decide not to get married & try it themselves, then suffer some sort of separation & are left w/ children to take care of on their own or no house to stay at. And of course married people have permanent separations as well. Divorces exist for a reason. Though I personally feel like that while reasons for divorce vary, the most common factor leading to the break-up was that they weren't compatible emotionally &/or physically. If you don't have both of those things, you're not in love, no matter what anyone says.

I know I branched off from kissing, which was the main topic here, but kissing is part of physical intimacy (though a much less serious one than others) which is extremely important to marriages. So I hope I made my point clear & sorry if I didn't.
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12-18-12 01:39 AM
Eirinn is Offline
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VAponte : Wow. Your post was very deep and had a powerful message. I couldn't possibly agree with you more. Thank you for sharing that. It was very informed, and may I say, it was very nice to see someone that actually knows what love is, or what it is not. I know I'm rambling, but I am in shock. I'm blown away by this. Thanks so much for speaking up. I found it refreshing, especially because what I've been through lately.
VAponte : Wow. Your post was very deep and had a powerful message. I couldn't possibly agree with you more. Thank you for sharing that. It was very informed, and may I say, it was very nice to see someone that actually knows what love is, or what it is not. I know I'm rambling, but I am in shock. I'm blown away by this. Thanks so much for speaking up. I found it refreshing, especially because what I've been through lately.
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Eirinn


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01-02-13 12:25 PM
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Personaly I see where your comming from and been a christian I don't believe in premarital but I think the odd kiss here and there won't hurt unless you are more or less swallowing each other which is overly sexual. But I don't think people should start kissing for at least a month by which point you will know each other fairly well.
Personaly I see where your comming from and been a christian I don't believe in premarital but I think the odd kiss here and there won't hurt unless you are more or less swallowing each other which is overly sexual. But I don't think people should start kissing for at least a month by which point you will know each other fairly well.
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ninja in training


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01-02-13 06:39 PM
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Whatever you think is right for you is what you should do. Or dont do. Personally, I dont belive kissing or more will make anyone any less or more pure or impure. My point being,you should not be thinking any more or less than it was your choice and you have been willing to stick up for it.When that time comes, you decide was it worth all the fuss, eh?
Whatever you think is right for you is what you should do. Or dont do. Personally, I dont belive kissing or more will make anyone any less or more pure or impure. My point being,you should not be thinking any more or less than it was your choice and you have been willing to stick up for it.When that time comes, you decide was it worth all the fuss, eh?
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01-02-13 08:08 PM
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Speaking as an aromantic asexual agnostic (all the a's you can fit, yeah), I haven't experienced any kind of dating or intimacy with anyone, nor do I plan to. Maybe that means I have no right to say anything about this, but I'd like to think it allows me to present a more objective viewpoint on it. You be the judge.

To me, it seems like intimacy between two people (be it kissing, sex or whatever) only has as much meaning to a person as they're willing to give it. And that usually depends on what their partner(s) mean to them. So someone can have that intimacy with another person (or people), and it can be meaningless fun. Or they could have it with someone special and it might mean something more then. Because of that, I don't think the frequency of the act really damages what it means, I think it more depends on the people involved and what they mean to each other.

And as much as people would like to say that physical attraction and compatibility aren't factors, it seems to me that they are. Because of that, I think that kissing and sex before marriage is not only permissible but important. I'm not the kind of person to fall in love with someone, but if I was, I wouldn't want to marry someone and find out I wasn't physically compatible with them. And even if I ended up breaking up with the person after kissing or sex, I'd have gained some experience in those matters to help me please any future partners more.

But that's just my two cents on the issue. I know everyone's not going to share my views or think that I should be saying anything about it, but maybe I helped give a different perspective, I don't know. Take it with a grain of salt.
Speaking as an aromantic asexual agnostic (all the a's you can fit, yeah), I haven't experienced any kind of dating or intimacy with anyone, nor do I plan to. Maybe that means I have no right to say anything about this, but I'd like to think it allows me to present a more objective viewpoint on it. You be the judge.

To me, it seems like intimacy between two people (be it kissing, sex or whatever) only has as much meaning to a person as they're willing to give it. And that usually depends on what their partner(s) mean to them. So someone can have that intimacy with another person (or people), and it can be meaningless fun. Or they could have it with someone special and it might mean something more then. Because of that, I don't think the frequency of the act really damages what it means, I think it more depends on the people involved and what they mean to each other.

And as much as people would like to say that physical attraction and compatibility aren't factors, it seems to me that they are. Because of that, I think that kissing and sex before marriage is not only permissible but important. I'm not the kind of person to fall in love with someone, but if I was, I wouldn't want to marry someone and find out I wasn't physically compatible with them. And even if I ended up breaking up with the person after kissing or sex, I'd have gained some experience in those matters to help me please any future partners more.

But that's just my two cents on the issue. I know everyone's not going to share my views or think that I should be saying anything about it, but maybe I helped give a different perspective, I don't know. Take it with a grain of salt.
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Dick Dangerous


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