As you guys know, it has been nearly a year since my mom's death (Which is May 5th) and it is very possibly that I'll close the laptop for long time, and cry... It's just, too painfully for me to express my feeling on here, even in real life... (I'm really crying right now...) so, I just want to let you guys know, so that you guys won't think I'm dead for my long disappear term...

Please, I would be really happy if you guys could wish me good luck, or something... (No, it does not mean you have to give me viz, I am in no need of Viz.)

So... I guess it the end of message...
If you guys read this, then I'm glad that there's some people here that care to read...

I'm sorry, but, Mega, Pika, Leggy, if any of you guys here read this, I'm sorry for all of the problem I cause in the chatroom, or anywhere else... I never told anyone that I'm deaf, I never told them so that they can pity me, face it, even though people stopped being racist over black people, there is still a lot of people that are being racist...

If you guys care to read more, go ahead, because the rest will be just a pointless story that I'm trying to point out the meaning of the topic in chatroom.

I was just 13 when I first entered middle school, I always been thinking that I'll make a lot of friends, but turn out I don't. I tried, I tried, and tried but never earned a lot of friends. After that, when I first got a laptop on the Christmas from both my step-mom, and my mom, first thing I did was to search for a place where I can fit in for while, this site was the first thing I came across when I gave up on searching, and try to find a video games. I then thought that to play the games, I have to join and download the plug-in, so I did, and later after 3 months, I found out that I don't even have to join, but I didn't get upset over that, because I begun to join the chat room, one user (Who I forgot) told me if I have made any thread, and that's when I got confused, because I never heard, or read a word 'thread' or 'forum' or anything, so I asked him what the word is, at least he was kind enough to explain it that it just a way that site are using for posting, such as funny thing, serous thing, silly thing, everything, so I asked him, how to do it so he helped me though, and so I have created a thread, and I became fell in love. So I been spent a lot of time in chatroom, and on the board.

When I went to middle school, I try do same thing again, by trying to make friends, but it didn't work so I got stuck being on computer, feeling it is only way I can make a friends, I never had a real friends beside one from my childhood. Internet is just a place where I close myself out of the reality, I never want it to happen, but it did. Not long after I got hooked to internet, I asked one of my old friend, and he told me that those students was racist, thinking that deaf people are stupid, pointless living creature that can't be learned, and it has been going for many years, over thousands of years. That's when I shut myself from real worlds permanently.

I want to have a friends, but if I'm too immature, or anything relate with that, then I'm sorry, but if that's how you guys feel about me, being stupid, being sh** living beings, go ahead and type it up, I don't care, my life is a hell, and I hate it, don't care about anything, so when I show up in chatroom, and you guys start teasing around about deaf people, then I'll just, lock myself away from chatroom. (By lurking, or possibly leave the site.)