Before I start, let me fill you in on a couple things.
a) I'm a pianist. You probably knew that already.
b) I specialize (no not really, but it's something I'm good at) at sight reading. Sight reading is a section of musical skill in which you receive/get a piece of music that you've never seen before, and you start to play.
c) Recently (more like 10 minutes before I wrote this) I was in a competition of sight reading.
d) Sight reading is one of those things that is really hard to just get good at. This is where I tend to sound conceited but it's completely true. Speaking completely objectively, I am a GOOD sight reader. It's just one of my talents. (probably balances out with my complete lack of motivation to practice) For all my years of competing in sight reading, I've never stepped off first place. It's been one of my strongest pillars of self-confidence I had in my musical career. I was proud of it; it was something I always looked forwards to.
Now that you're all caught up, on with the show.
So this competition mentioned in c). I had a fair bit of confidence going into the competition, mainly because there was only one more person in it other than me. I arrived early, as you should for all competitions/recitals/anything of that sort. Because I arrived early, I was able to hear the pieces that were played before me. After inspection of the programme, I discovered that the pianist before me was also the other girl in my competition. I was interested, so I started listening intently; much to my surprise, she was REALLY good! I was thoroughly impressed.
After she finished however, my anxiety kicked in and I got paranoid. What if the adjudicator was so bedazzled by her piano skills that she'd judge the next round unfairly? I decided that was extremely unlikely, as adjudicators are SUPPOSED to be completely unbiased and objective to all players. Once all these thoughts rushed through my head, it was already time for me to play.
I played quite well. I could've done better, but I was pleased with my performance. The girl played after I did and to my surprise once again, did not do as well as I expected. She wasn't the greatest sight reader, but she wasn't that bad either. And here, I have to fill you guys in on some more stuff.
a) In sight reading, the number one priority is FLOW. No matter what, you are supposed to KEEP the tempo, and continue on through mistakes. Missing notes and rhythms aren't as bad as messing up the flow; as long as you can hear the piece, or a steady rhythm behind all the notes, it's fine.
b) If you make a mistake, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you supposed to stop and/or go back and fix it.
Mind you, I'm trying to be completely objective here. Continuing on.
The girl who played after me kept stopping, and making mistakes. On easy parts, she kept a steady tempo, but on difficult parts, her tempo became jerky and erratic. She tried her best to play all the right notes, but in the effort of doing so, the flow of the piece was lost. After asking a few people in the audience, it was evident that this opinion was shared. I felt quite a bit better about myself and started to feel better about this oncoming week (as I'm quite busy this week).
But for SOME reason, the adjudicator awarded this girl first. I'm not being a sore loser, because I've had my fair share of being last or second-last. This however was the first time I was outright confused about the results. There was literally no way I could imagine her winning that competition. It went against ALL of the teachings about sight reading I had received in the past, present, and probably the future. Yet the adjudicator still awarded her first.
My emotions went from initial shock, to confusion, to bitterness, to rage, to sorrow, and finally to depression. Not only did I lose something that I (objectively speaking) SHOULD have won, due to unfair judgement, one of my pillars of self-confidence was utterly demolished. I came to the conclusion that the only reason this occurred was that the adjudicator had been so utterly amazed by her piano playing right before, that she couldn't admit that I was better.
After re-reading this post, I can't help but feel that I sound completely conceited. But let me tell you this: upon asking the girl's parents, my dad, and other people in the audience, AND judging upon the reaction of the general audience, I COMPLETELY deserved to win. Instead, I was put in a situation where I couldn't argue with the decision made, but felt cheated out of what I had deserved; I felt dejected and completely lost. It may seem like a small competition, of only two people, and so it shouldn't matter. But having one of your strongest points smacked aside due to some completely apparent bias and bulls***? Not cool. Not cool at all.
Ranting about this made me feel a bit better, but not all that great still. I guess I'm just concerned that this will be a bad omen for days to come. I guess I wish myself the best of luck.
Have any of you guys had moments in life that just wrenched you away from your dreams, or just felt so unfair you felt like ripping the hair out of your skull? Feel free to post below.
.. I can't help but wait to leave the country soon. (Leaving to Austria and the Czech Republic on a school trip in 4 days)

Okay.... I know all about sight reading because I'm in the ensemble of the 8th grade group (I play the violin). What kind of music do you site read? I can't remember mine; I think they were 3's and we passed with flying colors.

Was this a school event?

That'd probably explain quite a bit about it. School "contests", from my experience, were -never- about the objective quality of someone's work, but were just a show put on for ulterior motives, such as showing favouritism towards a certain party, swindling people for money, or just out n' out trolling for reactions.

There was probably some "reason" he (or she) chose her. Maybe he had seen her progress from nothing and was impressed, maybe he knew she was practicing so very hard for this contest, or maybe he wasn't well schooled on judging it.

Maybe he was being irresponsible and started daydreaming before yours began (I think we all get lost in thought at bad times sometimes).

Regardless, it was unfair! But you have to come back stronger than ever.

@ catfight09 This was a grade 10 sight reading piece, so the piece itself would be around grade 8 piano level.

@ KiddoCabbuses This was not a school event, it was an event we paid for and can get scholarships from how well we perform.

@Light Knight Thanks for the words of wisdom I think I'm over it, but it was still a harsh blow. I'll show them next year

CakeWub, if you wish to summon people, so they know what you put in response to them, type in their name, and then put : , as such

catfight09 : does playing recorder in first grade choir count as playing an instrument. I just knew what to play and when, so I played by memory, I guess.

CakeWub : You said it! Unfortunately, life occasionally fires these craptastic injustices at us, it's a good habit to learn to get over it like you did.

thing1 : no for two reasons. One the recorder isnt a real instrument. Not only that, but playing a simple test for a teacher and going to play for professional judges are two different things. 

catfight09 : it was not a test for the teacher, and also, we did do a mini-concert for the parents at the end of the year.. Does it still not count,or does it half count?

thing1 : either way it doesn't count at all. Performing for parents and getting rated are TWO different things. Being rated with high scores are on a whole different level than impressing parents. 

That does seem decidedly unfair, and I am sorry you had that happen to you. I remember a few bs calls against me back when I did Tae Kwon Do in 6th grade that really turned me against competing in general. I was the tallest kid in the class, and sparring was paired by height so I could only spar with the same person over and over again. He fought dirty a lot, taking kicks at my legs when the ref wasn't paying as close attention as he should. I delivered a perfectly legal front snap kick to the chest protector and I was called for a foul hit because it forced him back.... it's what it's supposed to do!

Not as big of a deal as loosing a competition that can win you scholarships, I know, but the feelings of bitter disappointment are the same.

What is important is that you know you should have won. It was a bad call, but you did nothing wrong and next year you will dominate. Enjoy your trip abroad!