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Advice needed.... PLEASE help?
12-05-11 10:36 PM
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rcarter2 : Thanks. I appreciate that. Yes, it is a shame when it happens. But I also don't want anyone to think they can bring me down, no matter what, I will rise above it all. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-06-11 09:08 AM
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SunflowerGaming : Yeah it was one of those things when I was doing my usual social media updates at the end of a long stretch and was actually getting ready to go to sleep when the UK TV people contacted me and asked me to do it with less than five hours notice. Even though I was warn out I definitely wasn’t going to turn it down. Hope it leads to things down the line. How are things going with your situation? |
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12-06-11 02:02 PM
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bvd1022 : Well I'm keeping myself preoccupied with other things. So far it's going a little better. Kind of leery around the people involved but nothing major. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-06-11 02:57 PM
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SunflowerGaming : I can understand that… Like I said before I had many people who I considered close friends at one point that even though I’ve let back in to a degree it’s not always easy to open up especially when I am use to being recluse and when I do get time off my main focus is resting. It doesn’t make it easy when some of these friends really want to meet up with me and my only answer is either I’m working on this day or, that I just got done working a few weeks straight and I need to recoup.
Hopefully by the time I hit my mid 30s I’ll be able to balance my work and leave enough room for me to have a personal life and more free time for people who ask for it. I can relate to being leery because until you allow people to earn your trust you don’t know who’s on the level and who’s not. Hopefully by the time I hit my mid 30s I’ll be able to balance my work and leave enough room for me to have a personal life and more free time for people who ask for it. I can relate to being leery because until you allow people to earn your trust you don’t know who’s on the level and who’s not. |
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12-06-11 04:59 PM
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Betrayal is an interesting experience, and there are not many ways of dealing with it. I found that talking works best... them talking, you listening. Hearing their reasoning for why they did what they did, and their apology. Then you just have to sit and contemplate it all and decide if it is really sincere. In my case, I found out on the same day that two really good friends had betrayed me. One was freaking out and terrified, and kept apologizing, and was actually very honest about everything... the other just said sorry and gave a cavalier excuse. Both apologized sincerely... but I only talk to the first one now because she was far more repentant than the other. I don't know how much that helps, but it might give you some stuff to think on. In my case, I found out on the same day that two really good friends had betrayed me. One was freaking out and terrified, and kept apologizing, and was actually very honest about everything... the other just said sorry and gave a cavalier excuse. Both apologized sincerely... but I only talk to the first one now because she was far more repentant than the other. I don't know how much that helps, but it might give you some stuff to think on. |
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12-06-11 05:03 PM
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-06-11 05:32 PM
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My advice to you would to be to say screw it and walk away. But I don't know what type of person you are. The main question at hand is wither or not you want these people to still be your friends or not well this is to say if they are your friends. If they aren't this is easy say screw you and get out of my life then avoid them and everything is all good. But if these people are your friends this is where the issue gets complicated. If this is so let me tell it to you this way. See people are like the three parts of a tree the leaves, branches, and the roots. Most people are like leaves they will always move one way from the other they are inconstant this isn't bad necessarily but these are the kind of people you want to let go of. Then you have the other majority of the population who are like branches they seem strong they seem steady but once you get out on them they fall and leave you hanging these are also people you should avoid. But the smallest of the population are like the roots of a tree they are strong and hold you up they go deep and hold the rest of the tree up. So in your situation you should ask them to stop what they are doing to you that its hurting you. And see the people like the leaves and the branches will say no and mouth off to you. This is when you should say I don't need you in my life and go. But if you say stop that it's hurting me and those people or if even one them makes an attempt to try and change. Hang on to that person and forgive them because that person cares for you and that's something you don't see often and when you see it don't let go of them. If this helps your welcome. If not I'm sorry I couldn't give any good advice. My advice to you would to be to say screw it and walk away. But I don't know what type of person you are. The main question at hand is wither or not you want these people to still be your friends or not well this is to say if they are your friends. If they aren't this is easy say screw you and get out of my life then avoid them and everything is all good. But if these people are your friends this is where the issue gets complicated. If this is so let me tell it to you this way. See people are like the three parts of a tree the leaves, branches, and the roots. Most people are like leaves they will always move one way from the other they are inconstant this isn't bad necessarily but these are the kind of people you want to let go of. Then you have the other majority of the population who are like branches they seem strong they seem steady but once you get out on them they fall and leave you hanging these are also people you should avoid. But the smallest of the population are like the roots of a tree they are strong and hold you up they go deep and hold the rest of the tree up. So in your situation you should ask them to stop what they are doing to you that its hurting you. And see the people like the leaves and the branches will say no and mouth off to you. This is when you should say I don't need you in my life and go. But if you say stop that it's hurting me and those people or if even one them makes an attempt to try and change. Hang on to that person and forgive them because that person cares for you and that's something you don't see often and when you see it don't let go of them. If this helps your welcome. If not I'm sorry I couldn't give any good advice. |
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12-06-11 06:22 PM
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Fallman7 : That was really good advice, to be completely honest. I don't really know if these people would be good loyal friends. I mean, yes I considered them friends, but I don't know them well enough to know what they will do. So right now I'm just sort of staying in the distance and observing them. If I feel they are worth having, I'll talk to them. If not, I know to just let them go. Thanks again for the help. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-06-11 07:12 PM
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SunflowerGaming : Your very much welcome. But may I make another statement? I feel that you have two options now do what your doing now by keeping your distance and guarding your heart or you could call them out on what they did and find out where they stand wither they really care for you or not. I'm not saying that it wont tick you off if they don't really care for you but it's better to know right? Instead of worrying about it. This is your choice not mine. I want you to know that and also understand that I am not trying to pressure you into doing what I would do. May I ask what did these people do to you that upset you? Don't tell me if you don't want to. I would just like to know so I could understand where your coming from. SunflowerGaming : Your very much welcome. But may I make another statement? I feel that you have two options now do what your doing now by keeping your distance and guarding your heart or you could call them out on what they did and find out where they stand wither they really care for you or not. I'm not saying that it wont tick you off if they don't really care for you but it's better to know right? Instead of worrying about it. This is your choice not mine. I want you to know that and also understand that I am not trying to pressure you into doing what I would do. May I ask what did these people do to you that upset you? Don't tell me if you don't want to. I would just like to know so I could understand where your coming from. |
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12-06-11 08:39 PM
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Fallman7 : Oh I did call them out on it. I'm just keeping my distance to make sure it won't happen again. I would tell you what they did, but I really don't think I should say publicly. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-06-11 08:44 PM
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SunflowerGaming : I respect your honestly and your wanting to keep this private. Just keep it down to earth and never give up there are good people out there even if the people your talking about are pricks. SunflowerGaming : I respect your honestly and your wanting to keep this private. Just keep it down to earth and never give up there are good people out there even if the people your talking about are pricks. |
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12-06-11 08:47 PM
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-06-11 09:03 PM
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First, I think you should keep it to yourself of what happened. 2nd I think you should apologise first since you know .(blankety blank blank) if that doesn't work try to at least know how they felt if it affected them and/or you. Me personally, I would tell them to Shut the (blank) up and to suck it up. If they still whine, I beat their (butts) till they shut up but thats me, not you. They still care for you but it's going to take a while for the wounds to be healed. If this doesn't work push them off the bridge of failing friENDship (metaphorically, get over with it and stop caring for them as friends but really like.. I don't know .... People that are aquaintances or just people) |
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It’s too big and well endowed, my pride |
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(edited by becerra95 on 12-06-11 09:07 PM)
12-07-11 08:36 AM
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SunflowerGaming : My work can be very stressful at times especially since I try to cover as much as physically possible despite time differences between the US and internationally. Without the internet there is no way that I would be able to do what I do. It does play into why I really don’t leave time for myself. Best example I can give being a Boxing journalist is there may be a big card on a Saturday night that will garner most of the attention world wide and such. Where most writers will only focus on that one card and leave the rest of the day to do other things, I’m the exact opposite. I’ll sit at my desk and watch as much as I can of cards internationally before the big card. So I could be sitting there from 6AM where I am if not earlier than that till maybe 8PM depending on how much there is straight through with maybe an hour in between where I can get some food and such before covering the big card but it is definitely exhausting. This doesn’t cover the actual writing involved which obviously takes more time.
As I said before I would gladly slow down and do this on a selective basis if I were with a newspaper or a reputable company where I only have to worry about what I’ve been assigned. For now though it’s pretty much every week out of the year with maybe a week or so in between here and there due to cancellations. Right now I’m in the middle of a stretch that is a few weeks and won’t get a break until the 18th through Christmas. Needless to say I am hoping it comes fast. Hopefully if I get invited to meet up with friends during that week I’ll be able to. You’re very welcome. Hope I could help. If there is anything else I can help with please don’t hesitate to ask. As I said before I would gladly slow down and do this on a selective basis if I were with a newspaper or a reputable company where I only have to worry about what I’ve been assigned. For now though it’s pretty much every week out of the year with maybe a week or so in between here and there due to cancellations. Right now I’m in the middle of a stretch that is a few weeks and won’t get a break until the 18th through Christmas. Needless to say I am hoping it comes fast. Hopefully if I get invited to meet up with friends during that week I’ll be able to. You’re very welcome. Hope I could help. If there is anything else I can help with please don’t hesitate to ask. |
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12-07-11 09:02 PM
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Well, I've heard that if someone has hurt you, you should forgive them. Here is a quote from Mayo Clinic Online "When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward." I hope it helps and gets better. "When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward." I hope it helps and gets better. |
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12-08-11 12:31 AM
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You have to forget and move forward, if you see some people don't appreciate much, things....some aspects.....it is always better to move out...(you don't know maybe some people had a bad day...they are off mood...)..in life there are many things which you should disregard.....you should forgive and forget...(think like that maybe that person has some of his/her own problems in life....) |
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12-08-11 01:33 AM
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-08-11 01:51 AM
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Wow, I know how it feels getting hurt by someone you trust, and it's especially painful when it's emotional hurt. All I can say is that when that kind of thing happened to me, and I was hurt by my friend, it was hard. But if you give it time, and talk about it with people who are close to you and they support you, eventually that feeling will die down. It does depend on how badly they hurt you, but I'm sure that if you give it time and receive support from others, than that hurt will be replaced by love and caring from other people. |
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12-08-11 01:53 AM
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epicpokenerd! : Thank you, that really helps me feel a little better about the situation. |
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Courage is not having the strength to go on, it's going on when you don't have the strength. ???? |
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12-08-11 01:58 AM
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No problem, I know a little bit about this kind of thing, when I first got glasses, so many of my friends made fun of me, called me a freak, and I came home crying so often. I know it hurts, but having people who support you is the main key to making it through friendship problems. |
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