A. Probably, I wouldn't put anything past him
B. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take s*** from anybody.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
BEST ONE YET: Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

-Chuck Norris once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine "Chuck Norris." When they refused, Chuck roundhouse kicked Google in the face, transforming it's bruised remains into Google Dark.

-Chuck Norris affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden catastrophe. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one roundhouse kick.

-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

Chuck Norris is suing NBC for the show "Law and Order," claiming that they are they are the trademarked names of his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost

So like, in chemistry today, we were playing chem jeopardy. I had no idea how to answer the questions and get points fast, but me and 2 other friends made a team named Chuck Norris. Swear to God this happened to me today. We won and the teacher was like, "Good job Chuck Norris!"

Chuck Norris always wins. Just by picking his name as your team name guarantees victory. That's why there isn't a professional team called the Chuck Norris(es)

That would totally just be unfair seriously... EXACTLY...
But still they SHOULD have chuck norris stocks

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Noris can piss his name into concrete.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.

Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's potato chip.

A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

You spelled BREATH wrong.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only one that can beat a royal flush.
Newton's Third Law is wrong. Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

WELL EXCUUUSE ME, and No I didn't, it's how it's spelled in England.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris is actually Jeeves from AskJeeves.com.

Chuck Norris invented the beard.

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors other people get hurt.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. There is no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.

A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris can rhyme orange and purple... with each other!

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

I kinda sorta already used one like the extinct species one. And some of those weren't so good.

When Chuck Norris was born he had sex with the nurse. That was the third person he had sex with.

Chuck Norris helped me pass Chemistry! Woo!

Oh we can post sex-stuff now? TIME FOR EPIC ARRIVAL!

Chuck Norris was having sex with his girlfriend on the roof of his truck. A small piece of his sperm flew out and fell into the engine of the truck. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Texas does not have a police force. They have Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris's penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.

Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

You are what you eat. Chuck Noris eats steel.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris doesn't eat breakfast, he forces it into submission.

Anyone can piss on the floor, but chuck norris can s*** on the ceiling

What is the quickest way to mans heart? Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

God wanted to create the world in 10 days. Chuck Norris gave him 6.

Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Chuck Norris does both legs at once.

There are actually 8 wonders of the world. Chuck Norris counts for 4 of them.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the SOUL.

God said "Let there be light", Chuck Noris said "Say please".

Nice. Those actually got my parents laughing. I like the book one

some i like the most

how much wood a wood Chuck Chuck if a wood Chuck could Chuck Norris
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom
more facts http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Chuck Noris believes it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer

Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands

Chuck Norris let the dogs out

Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris.

"Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Before anyone posts another joke...MAKE SURE NOBODY ALREADY POSTED IT FIRST. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, GET ORIGINAL!!!!!! Neyro, a lot of yours are funny, but some of them were already used while others shouldn't be posted because they are lame.

Whether they are lame or not is your opinion, so don't speak for others. Plus, I just copy/paste, I usually don't pay attention to whether they have been posted or not. ON TO THE NEXT BATCH!

Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made of real cowboys

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate 4 turtles whole. When he crapped them out, they all knew karate, and they are now known as The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Chuck Norris does not have a religion. The gods worship Chuck Norris.

Guns kill 12 people a day. chuck noris kills 20.

When Chuck Norris goes hunting he shoots himself in the leg to give the bear a head start.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

The only thing better than Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris on TV, talking about Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris doesn't get the belt, the belt get Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris once went back in time to fight Chuck Norris. He won.

"Chuck Norris went back in time to fight Chuck Norris. He won" was one of my favorite ones of that batch. I think this topic is going to last into eternity!

NEYRO WHAT THE F*** DID I JUST SAY!! AT LEAST EDIT OUT ONES THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN POSTED!