This is a post that has old totts most upset and confused, I hope dear Vizzed people that you can help see some light at the end of the tunnel....

I think that it is sad that relationships can go with a bang, to be told one day a person loves oyu and leave oyu the next. Is it that in their own sadness at departure they ried to soften the blow? or was it they were lying.

I love you, I really do... and then the next day terribly angry and sad we have to break up, where is our lives going together you know that we are not suited to each other...

Should we care what is love? dependency? lust? something so wonderful you go nuts?

what is going on?

what is your experience?

Totts : No relationship has ever gone like that.

If one person thinks everything is wonderful and suddenly they realize it was crap and they're dumped, they weren't paying attention to their relationship. That means it was a bad relationship and never went right anyway.

Things that come out of nowhere come out of somewhere in reality. People should work hard at their relationships, making small adjustments, and taking care of what they're doing.

I say my marriage is like a rose garden. I spend time every day pruning, picking, making sure things are in good working order. It's hard work but I pay attention. At the end of the day, I stand back and it's a beautiful thing.

If something blindsides you, you weren't doing things right and the relationship wasn't working anyway.

I have had it happen like that twice, but there was a small bit of warning sign each time.

First time I was actually engaged and the guy left me for another woman a month after he proposed. Everything had seemed totally fine, then a text message early in the day saying "We need to talk."

The relationship after that was rather rocky at times, with a few break-ups because he was a man-whore that liked getting attention. But at a relatively stable part in the relationship he showed up at my door and dumped me. Cried, acting all sad and stuff, saying many things that really were actually true about what a jerk he was... then found out he slept with an ex-girlfriend not a week afterward.

Based on those experiences, I honestly think that when people act super upset, like it breaks their heart to dump you, that they are lying through their teeth. I have ended a relationship only once, and I can tell you I did not cry. Did I feel bad? Yes, because I was hurting him by doing it, but it was the right thing to do and I was not at fault.

Not in person but I got into this really big relationship online with this guy I really loved and he told me he loved me everyday and would never leave me but then one day he left me for another girl which was his first love as he said.. I cried for weeks and hardley could stand the pain he had caused me.. but I haven't thought about him in so long.. really hes pathedic for what he did too me.. but I guess everyone experinces that if not once several times in there life.

Yes, I just do not understand that kind of issue. I get it all the time and it just naturally happens.