My fiancee left me for another woman. We ended on good terms, and we still love each other, but I feel horribly betrayed. I can't eat, barely able to sleep, and I keep having what I can only describe as mini-heart attacks where I end up hyperventalating for about an hour straight.

In short, my life is hell. And If I ever here the phrase "we need to talk" again, I will shoot myself. The only thing that stopped me this time was my nephew, so at least I've found something stable to cling to. My friends have been great helping me, but I still just feel so horrible.

ouch,.... I don't know what I would do if my wife left me for another man.... I imagine it would be devastating...

well... I'm sure we're all here for you and stuff...

I'm really sorry to hear that. I know what its like to be left for other guys. But i know its not the same. You seem like a strong person, and I hope you can get through this.

What the hell is his problem, anyway? You're one of the greatest people I know. And hell, I don't even really know you. And if you still love each other, how come you aren't together? Sorry, Elara. He obviously wasn't worth your time, but it was definately an experience to remember.

*hug* Blessed Be~

The only good thing I can think of here is that he told you before you got married. That's too bad Elara. I hope you can start feeling better soon but I know it will be difficult.

Well, it's kinda complicated Belial.

He met her a little while ago and felt drawn to her. Tried to ignore it, but the pull was very strong. Finally said "I need to make a choice", so after not sleeping or eating for three days he decided that if he didn't act on this he might regret it for the rest of his life. He never cheated on me though, and I have proof of that, so it helps.

I've analyzed this and have come to this conclusion: he's lived his whole life cloistered in the Jehovah's Witness life, finally breaking free last December after we got together and he moved out. So now he's got to go through all that immature crap that I got out of my system in high school, he's got to see the world and mess up and all that.

I admit that we did move a bit fast, and I was expecting that perhaps one day we'd end up postponing the wedding for a few more years or calling off the engagement for awhile... but I never saw this coming. No one in the group saw it, not even him. He's the only guy I have ever trusted 100%, and that is why this is hurting me so badly... I've always had trust issues, and now I don't know how long that will take to heal.

What's worse is I can't even hate the girl. She's a nice person, and she didn't ask for this to happen. At the same time, I hope that they crash and burn. It most likely will anyway, but I feel bad wishing for it.

Ah, well I see what you mean then. I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your misfortune. And there shouldn't be too much of a trust issue... after all, he *did* tell you about the other girl...

Well, he didn't really lie to her, but I totally understand the trust issue.

Elara, I've never been engaged, but I can say I totally understand how you feel. Have a look at this thread for a brief summary. I've always had trust issues too... Always been tempted to believe that women are (no offense) just evil creatures who take perverse pleasure in deceiving others. And I'm sure you must think the same about men, right?

I also know how you feel about not being able to hate the other girl but wishing they'd crash and burn. "Obi-Wan" in that thread is that way... He's a nice guy and there's not much I can point at him... I think they probably are right for each other, but at the same time I do wish they'd crash and burn so Padmé can come back to me and tell me I was right.

I'll be praying for you, Elara. Best wishes. My AIM info is on my profile if you want to talk. I'm not on much, but I'll try to be on more in the next few days until you see this.

*reads other thread*

*huggles*

At least I know I'm not alone. I'm here if you need me as well.

As for me and the trust issue thing:

I've never trusted any guy I've dated 100% until him for good reason. I've been used, abused, raped, stolen from, etc. The last few ones before him I went into saying "so how long will this one last?"

But this was my Garrett, he was sweet and honest, and he loved me completely. I felt safe in his arms, and no matter how scared I was about something he would bring me through it. He told me so many times that he would rather die than leave me, he told his parents the same thing (his mom was hell-bent on breaking us up for awhile). He gave up everything that he had ever known to be with me, moving out of his house and basically telling his family to f*** off. I trusted him because I knew what he had given up for me, what he felt for me, and because I felt that "tug" towards him. I can't even begin to explain how we felt towards each other... the only words that come remotely close are "soul mates".

My best friend, WhiteRose, trusted him 100% as well. She has known me for almost 9 years and has seen every single break-up and relationship that I have been though. She's been the one that comforted me every time, seen my heart ripped out time and time again, and talked me out of killing myself on more than one occation. She has NEVER trusted any guy that I have dated... but she trusted him. Everyone trusted him. No one thought that he would ever break up with me, because he loved me that much and everyone knew it.

And for this to happen so suddenly, for me to trust someone that completely and then be dumped by them for another girl (which has never happened to me before), it shattered my trust. Three days before he dumped me I finally broke down in tears because his mother's incessant insults had finally got to me, and he held me for an hour telling me it was okay, comforting me, telling me that it would be okay and that he loved me and that it didn't matter what that b**** said. Things were normal, as they always had been. That was Memorial Day. According to him, the big "tug" happened that night when he was out with some of our friends. I didn't see him Tuesday, he was "too tired" because he'd been out all night (which was true, he had to get up for work at 5:30AM and he go home at 5AM). The next day he had to go to his dad's work with him because he was getting a job there, he didn't get home until late so he couldn't come over. The day after that was the day it happend. I didn't suspect a thing, hence why I feel so betrayed.

that is harsh... dont worry tho there are many poeple like you, i myslef ok havn't broken up with a fionca but style feel like crap sometimes because of the contless rejections but dont give up hope god is with us and for all the bad things he has ten times more good things comin

She doesn't believe in God you and I think of. But yeah the whole relationship thing can get pretty frustrating.

Tell me about it... Whats worse than being rejected is havng to reject if you dont want to...

Yeah but then I would do my very best to find a way to accept. But the easiest way for me to ask someone out if I don't know what they are going to say is to try not to get to attached tot the idea or think about it at all and just ask them. If they say no then oh well. Of course that doesn't work all the time. I just hate it when you really like someone, but they don't wanna date anyone now. I mean do you go on to someone else even though you can't stop liking the person as much as you do?

Yeah, that is a tough situation as well.

Ah, and here is my little update of the situation:

I have a new boyfriend, he's such a sweetie and I really care about him. So yeah, I am happy. We're just focusing on the present and not future stuff... that is part of why me and Garrett failed I think (even though he was doing it more than me)

As for him... well. The girl that he left me for ended up getting wasted, f***ing her coworker, and dumping him out of guilt the next day. The whole thing was pretty f***ed up and I actually feel very bad for him. The whole month after he dumped me went like s*** for him as well: broke his nose at work, lost his job because he lied about how he broke it, and then lost his car because some chick ran a red light and hit him thus totaling the car (second car totaled in 6 months). Karma was a b**** to him alright... but he's doing okay now, so that is good. He's dating his first girlfriend again, so he's happy I guess.

In some ways, it still hurts. Little things remind me of him and I will feel really sad for a bit. Overall though, I've realized just how immature he his and how irresponsible as well, so im many ways I am truly glad that it is over... I just don't like how it ended.

But yeah, we've both found happiness now, so yay!

thats cool happy endings are always good

That's good to hear Elara. I hope this relationship works out for you. Now hopefully something will work out for me.

I'm sure that something will Micheal, I mean, you're a really cool guy, so I'm sure you'll find someone that is complimentary to you.

Thanks Elara. I found someone I like it's just a matter of making sure she likes me (which from what I can tell she does) and then a matter of convincing her she and I can date. We are close friends already, so I know she doesn't want to mess up our friendship and neither do I. So I have to figure out a way to prove that we won't mess it up if we date.

Yeah most of the times you find the people you love have been right infront of you most your life. Your best friends..

She and I met at college, so we haven't known each other for a very long time. But we became close friends quickly.