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Jokes

 

01-31-05 12:13 PM
Light Knight is Offline
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Math never lies, it's that way you do the problem, John's way solves it. I got one, what does a purple ball and a elephant have in comon.
They're both purple exept the elephant! HAHAHAHA it makes no sence.
Math never lies, it's that way you do the problem, John's way solves it. I got one, what does a purple ball and a elephant have in comon.
They're both purple exept the elephant! HAHAHAHA it makes no sence.
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01-31-05 02:59 PM
Davideo7 is Online
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How many A's are in the following phrase...

"I got the -A"

?
How many A's are in the following phrase...

"I got the -A"

?
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01-31-05 03:16 PM
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OK this one's for John

Bill, Hilary, and Chelsie Clinton are on an airplane. Hilary says if she thows out a hundred dollar bill she will make one person very happy. Bill replies very cleverly "yes but if you have ten ten dollar bills and throw them out the window I will make ten people very happy. ABout this time Chelsie gets mad at both of them and says "If I throw you both out the window I will make EVERONE HAPPY"

The End (its not that good but i tryed
OK this one's for John

Bill, Hilary, and Chelsie Clinton are on an airplane. Hilary says if she thows out a hundred dollar bill she will make one person very happy. Bill replies very cleverly "yes but if you have ten ten dollar bills and throw them out the window I will make ten people very happy. ABout this time Chelsie gets mad at both of them and says "If I throw you both out the window I will make EVERONE HAPPY"

The End (its not that good but i tryed
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01-31-05 05:33 PM
John is Offline
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lol, at least you tried

My dad is one of those guys who cracks just bad jokes... some are so stupid they are funny
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
.............................
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Hide pretty good don't they?

(this isn't one of those funny ones)
lol, at least you tried

My dad is one of those guys who cracks just bad jokes... some are so stupid they are funny
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
.............................
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Hide pretty good don't they?

(this isn't one of those funny ones)
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01-31-05 09:09 PM
Mike is Offline
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Pretty dumb if you ask me..

And for the math problem...

Try this:

Three men enter a hotel. They want a room for three. A room for three normally costs 300 of whatever they pay with. The men pay 100 each and go to their room. Later, the staff find out the costed only 250, not 300. They send a man to give back 50. On the way, he takes 20 of the money he was given, and gives 10 to each of the men in the room.

Let's summary:
They first think the room costs 300.
They pay 100 each.
100 * 3 = 300
The room actually costs 250.
300 - 250 = 50
So, the staff will give back 50.
But the man that is going to deliver the money gives 10 to each of the men and keeps 20 himself.
Now, the men have paid 90 each, and the person stole 20
90 * 3 = 270, + 20 = 290

WHERE THE HELL IS THE LAST 10!?!

its not set up right for it being mathamatically correct..
Pretty dumb if you ask me..

And for the math problem...

Try this:

Three men enter a hotel. They want a room for three. A room for three normally costs 300 of whatever they pay with. The men pay 100 each and go to their room. Later, the staff find out the costed only 250, not 300. They send a man to give back 50. On the way, he takes 20 of the money he was given, and gives 10 to each of the men in the room.

Let's summary:
They first think the room costs 300.
They pay 100 each.
100 * 3 = 300
The room actually costs 250.
300 - 250 = 50
So, the staff will give back 50.
But the man that is going to deliver the money gives 10 to each of the men and keeps 20 himself.
Now, the men have paid 90 each, and the person stole 20
90 * 3 = 270, + 20 = 290

WHERE THE HELL IS THE LAST 10!?!

its not set up right for it being mathamatically correct..
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02-01-05 06:36 AM
John is Offline
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your and idiot... post a joke dumbassbutt

Whats another name for a push-up bra?
False advertisement.
your and idiot... post a joke dumbassbutt

Whats another name for a push-up bra?
False advertisement.
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02-01-05 10:29 AM
Zylo is Offline
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Well after much thought and deliberation, john is right
about that riddle. beacuse 270 + 20 is bad math.
It should be 270 plus the 30 dollars they gave back 270 +30 = 300 which balances the equation. so the 20 $ the guy stole is included in the 270$ then add the thirty dollars. It just is a very confusing situation I don't know why it took me so long to get it too.

Oh and whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a camaro? I don't have a camaro in my garage!!!!!!!
Well after much thought and deliberation, john is right
about that riddle. beacuse 270 + 20 is bad math.
It should be 270 plus the 30 dollars they gave back 270 +30 = 300 which balances the equation. so the 20 $ the guy stole is included in the 270$ then add the thirty dollars. It just is a very confusing situation I don't know why it took me so long to get it too.

Oh and whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a camaro? I don't have a camaro in my garage!!!!!!!
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02-02-05 03:57 PM
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Confucius say "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot"
Confucius also say "Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt should not chew his fingernails in the morning."
Confucius say "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot"
Confucius also say "Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt should not chew his fingernails in the morning."
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02-03-05 06:53 AM
John is Offline
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World War III

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"

The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"


Even tho i don't like it.... i thought it was funny
World War III

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"

The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"


Even tho i don't like it.... i thought it was funny
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02-05-05 11:48 PM
Zylo is Offline
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China man say "crowded elevator smells different to Midget"

He also say "man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement"

Wise man say "he that fish in other mans well gets crabs"

China man Say "war doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left?

He also say "man who run in back of car get exhausted, but man who run in front of car get tired"
China man say "crowded elevator smells different to Midget"

He also say "man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement"

Wise man say "he that fish in other mans well gets crabs"

China man Say "war doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left?

He also say "man who run in back of car get exhausted, but man who run in front of car get tired"
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02-06-05 01:01 AM
Belial is Offline
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How do you put a giraffe in a refridgerater?
You open the fridge. put the giraffe in and close the door.

How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
You open the fridge, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in, and close the door.

The king of the jungle is hold an animal conference. Which animal doesn't attend?
The elephant, because he's still in the fridge.

A group of zebras were walking along and came to a river where vicious crocodiles lived. How did they get across?
They waded across; all the crocodiles were attending the animal conference.

How do you put a giraffe in a refridgerater?
You open the fridge. put the giraffe in and close the door.

How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
You open the fridge, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in, and close the door.

The king of the jungle is hold an animal conference. Which animal doesn't attend?
The elephant, because he's still in the fridge.

A group of zebras were walking along and came to a river where vicious crocodiles lived. How did they get across?
They waded across; all the crocodiles were attending the animal conference.

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02-06-05 12:39 PM
John is Offline
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awkward...

Newho

'ye who has nothing nice to say... must be talking about hillary clinton'
awkward...

Newho

'ye who has nothing nice to say... must be talking about hillary clinton'
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02-06-05 06:08 PM
Skyline is Offline
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A guy walked into the bar and said "ow"
A guy walked into the bar and said "ow"
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02-08-05 10:24 AM
Zylo is Offline
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I ate a red candle
I ate a red candle
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02-08-05 04:05 PM
John is Offline
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Originally posted by Zylo
I ate a red candle

Thats a joke?
Sounds more like a personal problem
Originally posted by Zylo
I ate a red candle

Thats a joke?
Sounds more like a personal problem
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02-09-05 10:59 AM
Zylo is Offline
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I thought it was a joke. OK What do you call Rednecks Procriating(SP) between Bushes. The CLinton Administration
I thought it was a joke. OK What do you call Rednecks Procriating(SP) between Bushes. The CLinton Administration
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02-14-05 05:42 PM
spiffman is Offline
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Michael Jackson is on a boat with 100 boy scouts. the ship starts to sink.
the scoutmaster says "lets leave, Michael!"
and michael replies "what about the children?"
then the scxoutmaster yells "screw the children!"
and michael says "do we have time?"

Lol
Michael Jackson is on a boat with 100 boy scouts. the ship starts to sink.
the scoutmaster says "lets leave, Michael!"
and michael replies "what about the children?"
then the scxoutmaster yells "screw the children!"
and michael says "do we have time?"

Lol
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02-14-05 05:43 PM
John is Offline
| ID: 16402 | 19 Words

John
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lol, thats a good one

What do michael jackson and wal-mart have in common?
Boys pants are half off
lol, thats a good one

What do michael jackson and wal-mart have in common?
Boys pants are half off
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02-16-05 02:11 PM
Zylo is Offline
| ID: 16754 | 18 Words

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^john stole mine Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? he ate too many 12 year old wieners!
^john stole mine Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? he ate too many 12 year old wieners!
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03-07-05 07:01 AM
John is Offline
| ID: 20183 | 187 Words

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What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about
those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to
those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%



and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the
Bulls*** and Ass kissing that will put you over the top
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about
those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to
those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%



and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the
Bulls*** and Ass kissing that will put you over the top
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