^agreed for some extent.

Move on that is my best advice. You were mad at her because she was probably bull s***ting you. Honestly you need to find some one that really cares for you and make it real. Do not mix this weird RP in there as well.

If there's any doubt, then I'd say to get out of it. You seem like a nice guy. Nice guys seem to be taken for weak by many people. However, nice people also happen to be the most desirable. I think she knows how good she has it with you and that there aren't many other people that would put up with the cheating and lying and so on. You're not in her predicament. Many women would love to be with a guy like you. I say move on, even if it's hard. 

sorry if i say this but to me i think if this keeps upi move on if you dont do anything then you will just be heart broken or you could try to get her back and tell her how you fell for her if that works.

Thank you to everyone who replied. I will take your advice and move on from there. Further advice will be appreciated

That's cool, but like warmaker said, she did hurt you, going back to her isn't the best thing to do, saying that she cares for you is nothing, she is just waiting to hurt you again.

That being said, it's still hard to back away from someone you've been with for that long. I cant just forget the whole relationship and act like it never happened. That would just be ignorant

re4leonk07 : Well I’ve kind of been in your situation before so I can sympathize with you a bit here. I haven’t done well in regard to relationships and haven’t really had a real relationship in years. I have had little bits of things that I wanted to be relationships that didn’t really work out that I like to call near-misses.

First without going into too much detail I do know what it feels like to love someone and I do know what it feels like to be lied to and cheated on. I’ve been in those shoes. Unfortunately for me even though I really tried to make things work with my last relationship despite the lying and the cheating it wasn’t worth the headaches that I suffered.

It is true that sometimes things just happen and there’s not much you can do or say to prepare for those kind of things but by the same token I’ve always been an old school kind of man in that I believe that trust is the cornerstone to any worthwhile relationship and, without the concept of trust you really don’t have a solid foundation for anything that might last. There has to be trust and an understanding between two people before any relationship can work that’s how I see it.

This is coming from someone who’s been pretty much single since he left school many years ago so, I realize that my view may seem a little antiquated to some. I think what you should do is sit down with her and have a conversation over what you saw as excuses and or, lies and explain to her how that made you feel. There has to be communication and judge how you should go about things based on her answers. A face to face conversation may give you a better chance to read her mannerisms and may give you a better idea if she’s genuine or not. It’s an old fashioned way of looking at things from a semi old fashioned guy but I’ve always believed if someone can’t look you in the eye and tell you the truth then maybe their not genuine and perhaps maybe their not worth your time if they don’t respect you enough to be honest with you.

Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Thanks BVD, I hope you find someone soon, you seem to be really down about it I'd give you a hug but my arms only stretch so far besides, things will get better from here

that's a tough decision. I would personally lean towards the not getting back together with her. What is going to be different this time? If she cheated on you once then you have no reason to believe it won't happen again.

However, I do understand wanting to go back. The familiarity of the relationship would be nice.

Yeah, thanks George, and it doesn't help that me and my real life girlfriend just split up last night, I'm having an awful day and I think I need some time away, but I can't afford a vacation

re4leonk07 : Well the main reason I’ve been single so long is because of what I do for work and the hours and dedication I put into it. Hopefully by the time I hit my mid 30s I’ll be able to balance the two or at the minimum have someone who’s willing to deal with and understands why I put myself through what I do. Being a writer is not the easiest thing sometimes especially when you’re a freelancer as I am where I literally try to cover anything I have access to. Now if I were to get with a company where I only have to worry about what I’ve been assigned to do then things would be a lot lighter in terms of my schedule but I still would probably work freelance on the side when I could.

I agree 100%, man, maybe us men are just a bit unlucky when we work so much, but then again, women are complicated =

Wait... you had another girlfriend when you posted this? Did I read that right? Then the one you are talking about is an online relationship? I just want to be clear before I reply.

Me and that girlfriend have since then and now have nothing to do with each other, apparently in her book, wanting to be just friends for about a week meant I was leaving her forever, so now I'm with another girl named Michaela. It's all very awkward but I'm very happy to be with Michaela because she understands me and I understand her. She makes me smile and laugh more then my ex did

Ok... so there is the first ex (the one that started this post), then the "real life gf" that now wants nothing to do with you, and Michaela? That is a lot of girlfriends in a short period of time, lol.

Well, Michaela sounds like a nice fit for you.

As for the original post. You are right that dating her for so long established a feeling of comfort that makes you want to go back... humans really are creatures of habit no matter how much we claim otherwise. It is why we are monogamous in the first place. However, I've been in that situation, asking if I should go back or not. I didn't, and I am glad, because when the thing that is familiar is something that is also harmful, going back is never a good idea.

Thank you for understanding, Elara, it's a true feeling of comfort for me. But sometimes it's hard to just walk away. I'm glad someone understands. By the way Elara, I sent you a friend request

If you have a girl that treats you like that..and you love her and will refuse to let her go, then just let me talk to her and I'll tell her a whatfer..naw I'm just kidding but if she treats you like that why do you love her?

Long relationships will do that to you, Reptile, you're so used to being with the same person that in your heart, it's hard to let them go. It's like when you're a child and you know you have to give something up that you've had for years but you know deep down that it's your favorite and you've had it for so long, this is no different, It's just so hard to let her go