The war on terror will never end because terror will always exist as long as Chuck Norris is around.

It was Chuck Norris who blew-up planet Vegeta; not because Saiyans could compete with him, but because they weren't competive at all.

Chuck Norris didn't put his kids through college. He roundhouse kicked college into little pieces and put it through THEM.

lmao.

When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

there was no god only chuck Norris disguised as god


Due to the lack of clicking... my poor dragons died. May their soul find peace in the mists.
How about we try a bit more this time? Please?

Ninja's are cool huh? NOPE!! Chuck Norris looks like a ninja and makes ninja's look like Girl Scouts!!!!

There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear of course fears Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris played 18 holes of golf the other day. He scored a 17.

Jesus loves you, Chuck Norris doesn't.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris' whereabouts were unknown from 1939-45, he was found walking around Hiroshima. saying "the last thing I knew was falling out of a plane"

Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got one.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Chuck Norris was born in the log cabin he built with his own two hands.

Most ninjas want to be Chuck Norris when the grow up. Sadly, most ninjas grow up to be killed by Chuck Norris.

When god ask moses to make the ten commandments, all of them said that " Chuck Norris is stronger than god himself" lawlz

Just so you know, I copyed all of these to a notepad file for my self pleasure.

Once, death had a near chuck experience.

how much wood can Chuck Noris chuck if Chuck Noris could chuck wood?
...all of it.

I will say the only one of these stupid jokes I know.

When cuck norris does a pushup he is pushing the world away from him

Chuck Norris can fry ants with a magnifying glass......at night.

Chuck Norris once round house kicked so fast that is ripped a hole in the space-time continuum. He kept going and killed Amelia Earhart as she was flying over the Atlantic.

There's no use crying over spilled milk, unless it's Chuck Norris's milk because then you're gonna die.

the police use chuck noris' bread as bullet proof vests

The apple fell on Isaac Newtons head because Chuck norris was walking in a meadow nearby.

The only thing that Frieza from DBZ is more scared of than a Super Saiyan is Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris is so tough goku bows to him

cool

chuck norris's tears cure cancer to bad he never crys <-- best 1 ever

I actually read through this ENTIRE thread. That way, I could put a list that has absolutely no repeated jokes. Enjoy:

Chuck Norris CAN rape the willing

Chuck Norris discovered that his urine gave people incredible bursts of energy, and decided to market it. We know it as 'Red Bull'.

Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik's cube and crap it out solved.

Chuck Norris is so tough, he clogs the toilet when he takes a piss

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the **** out of it.

Angelina Jolie adopts an orphan once a year. Chuck Norris orphans a kid once a minute.

Ghosts sit around the fire telling Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris tried to join the army, but there are rules against weapons of mass destruction.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor died by a roundhouse kick to the face. NOBODY spanks Chuck Norris.

There once was a street named after Chuck Norris, but had to be change because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is logic.

Chuck Norris does not have a reflection. There is only one Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once made a happy meal sad.

(Don't skip this one. It is not a repeat. Just a revised version)
Jesus walks on water. Chuck Norris walks on Jesus.

Once, a cop pulled over Chuck Norris. The cop was lucky to be let off with a warning.

I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.

Superman and Chuck Norris fought each other on a bet. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest. The loser had to never hit puberty.

Chuck Norris can bowl a perfect game with a balloon.

Chuck Norris was able to get a home run in bowling.

When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed if the world was going to end in 2012, he responded "Depends on how I feel that day".

Lord Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "He who must not be named".

Chuck Norris can see air.

Everyone knows Chuck Norris's pet rock....Earth.

Only Chuck Norris has ever dared to admit that he took the cookie from the cookie jar.

Alien vs. Predator was originally going to be Alien vs. Predator vs. Chuck Norris. This had to be changed because nobody would pay to sit through a movie that only lasts 14 seconds.

If you woke up this morning, it means Chuck Norris decided to spare your life.

Chuck Norris can fast-forward LIVE television.

Chuck Norris was supposed to star 'Man vs. Wild', but they had to replace him because they didn't want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will take yours too. If you are thinking "That is impossible. I already lost my virginity"...you have no idea......

Chuck Norris can complete Super Mario Bros. without pushing the jump button.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because the word 'hunt' infers the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling people that sometimes corn needs to lay the **** down.

When seeing his roundhouse kick in slow motion, you will see that right before the kick, Chuck Norris actually rapes the victim and has a cigarette.

Chuck Norris put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th, and it wasn't Jesus's birthday. He was too afraid to correct Chuck Norris, so now December 25th is known to everyone as Jesus's birthday.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. That same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

Chuck Norris doesn't procreate. He breeds.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using sign language.

Chuck Norris isn't lactose intolerant. He just refuses to put up with lactose's s***.

Chuck Norris doesn't have AIDS, but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris beat 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the **** out of everything that came out and the game forfeited.

Chuck Norris can wear pink lace panties and still overwhelm you with his manhood.

AND HERE IS, IN MY OPINION, THE BEST ONE EVER

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag ladies. He potato sacs them!

When they named Chuck Norris, all males around the world hit puberty.

Chuck Norris sells his beard clippings to the police to build bullet proof vests.

When Chuck Norris cooks, he fights - when he sleeps, he fights - when he eat, he fights, and when he fights, he's just playing around so not to hurt the other person.

Every time Chuck Norris says "Yes", an angel gets its wings.

All of clothing that Chuck Norris use to wear is on display at the Museum of Fine Arts.

Anything Chuck Norris wears becomes the fashion trend for that day.

Anything Chuck Norris eats is recorded in the book of world records as the best diet ever.

Chuck Norris is NOT getting old, the world around him is getting younger.

chuck norris doesn't do push up's he push'es the earth down XD