Is it over? I would love to read some more I have only read the first chapter but I would love to read more and more, you are a very good writer. You have yourself a favorite.

billythekidmonster : It's not over there is a second chapter on the first page and I am working on the third chapter.  I don't get to write very often due to all the things I have to do in the house and my illness.  But I do try to keep people updated and I try to at least write a paragraph a day.  Hopefully in a week or two chapter 3 will be up.

RequiemHaunt : Nice. (oNE WORD POST!)

Here it is Chapter 3~~


-Junuzi 18, Age of Morar 3


Dear diary,

If I thought the passed few days were strange, this one tops them all. I was expecting to be woken up by the Prince this morning but instead my personal maids Lillith, Hayatt, and Karin waked me up. “Good morning ma’am. We are to inform you that the Prince had some important business to attend to early this morning. He will be meeting you at morning meal.” This was Karin who approached me. She slowly took off my covers and proceeded to massage my legs. “You have been in bed for a long time, so I was instructed to stimulate your leg muscles. Do not be afraid to ask assistance if you find it hard to walk at first.” I nodded, for me my legs felt fine, but I had not a clue what it feels like to not have your legs working.

While Karen worked on my legs Hayatt and Lillith did my nails. These girls seemed to be far different than the other maids that I first encountered. I felt warm and comforted unlike with the other girls I felt cold and insecure. I feared for my life when in the company with the other maids and it was a correct feeling, for they did try to kill me. Here I felt these girls would protect and serve me and never betray me. When the girls were done both Karen and Hayatt raised me to my feet. In a stroke of luck I was able to walk without assistance. Most likely due to the fact that I am not a full biological being and so I have more advanced muscles than a normal being.

Lillith ran over to my closet and opened it up. “Ma’am, Lord Moe had us put a full wardrobe of clothes in your closet and dresser. You may chose what ever you wish to wear for morning meal.” I looked at all the clothes in the closet and was amazed at the quality. I bet this would be anyone’s dream come true all the clothes, servants, food that you could want for free. As I browsed the dresses one popped out. It was part of the floral dresses one was all yellow roses even the shoulder straps. I pulled it out and laid it on my body. Lillith took it from me and smiled. “Wonderful choice ma’am! Would you care to also pick out your jewelry?” She directed me to my vanity and pulled out the drawer. There were four layers of drawers inside each carrying different jewelry. The jewelry that came out to me were the gold ones with a diamond shaped ruby in them. It was a complete set containing earrings, necklace, and a ring. Hayatt took the set I pointed out and smiled at me. “Good choice ma’am! Now we just need to pick out shoes for you!” She brought me to the rack of shoes that was attached to the vanity. My eyes immediately were drawn to a set of high heels that matched my dress. They were a simply yellow with a yellow rose on the tips. Karen then picked them up and without saying anything they all began to undress me. A tight white corset was strapped onto me. The rest of the clothes were fitted just right onto my body. I was then sat down at my vanity and they applied make up on me. I wore red rose lipstick, gold eye make up outlined with red, and soft red blush to bring color to my face. My hair was elegantly brushed to perfection. I counted that each part of my hair was brushed 100 times and it made my hair almost glow with a sheen I never saw.

At the end of what I now call the dressing ritual I was teleported in a flash of light to the dining hall. When there the three maids took a position in front of me. Lillith and Hayatt opened the big doors and Karen walked in first. When she walked in everyone even the Prince stood up. “Introducing representative Requiem Axule from the planet Hix.” I was shocked here I was being introduced to the royal family, before I was treated quite normally. It felt strange to have such special treatment. Before I could respond two butlers escorted me to my seat next to the Prince. The Prince smiled at me and leaned over. “I hope you like your new title. I no longer expect you to work for me. I plan on marrying you and a queen does not need to do any work. Unless you liked killing prisoners?” He gave out a loud laugh then gently gazed into my eyes. I for one could not think of having no work. I loved the combat and I wanted to learn more.

“My Prince you still have no executioner and I find it quite entertaining. May I ask for allowance to keep playing the role of executioner?” I bowed my head in respect towards the Prince. “I thought you might still want that job. You seemed so content killing those boys while playing your music. I never saw some one enjoy killing so much as you. Well besides General Aya and myself.” His laughter was quieter this time. “Very well you can keep the job. Though today there are no executions planned so you are given the day off. Now let us enjoy these morning feast!” As he said that the food came poring out. It was a melody of fruits, eggs (which I doubt came from a normal source), fingers, and fruit juices with eyeballs floating in the glass.

The meal was quite quiet until near the end Princess Mysti talked to me. “Miss Requiem after morning meal would you meet me at the library? I would like to give you a lesson on the history of this kingdom.” I nodded. “Of course I would love to your highness.” I realized one thing that the only royal that never talked to me was Princess Cicil. She was always quiet and her expression was always blank. Though I was not going to attempt making conversation with her unless she spoke to me. Right before everyone was dismissed form morning meal I received a note on my plate. “Please wait to leave until all of the royal family is gone. It is proper manners.” After everyone cleared the dinning hall my three maids came in. Before they could telleport me I asked them to take me to the library. They did so without hesitation.

At the entrance Karen opened the big doors for me. “Ma’am do you know how to use the library?” I nodded. “I have been here before. Steve introduced me to himself.” Karen nodded back at me. “Very well. Just remember if you are looking for a person; tell Steve who you are looking for. I will be waiting in the lobby.” She bowed at me. I then turned around and headed toward Steve. I told Steve whom I wanted to see and he sent me on my way to Princess Mysti. I found myself in front of the same booth I met her in before. Low and behold my brother was with her as well. Those two seemed joined to the hip. Before I could say anything the Princess looked up at me. “Well hello there Miss Requiem. I’ve been waiting.” She patted onto the seat next to her. “Please have a seat I have figured out what story I will tell you today. It is the story of how my brother became the ruler of this kingdom.” I could see an evil grin come over my brother’s face when the Princess said that. “Oh this is a good story sister. I think you’ll find this quite entertaining.”

I sat down next to the Princess. She then leaned her head onto her two hands and began her story. “It was a little over 3 years ago in the month of Apizal. My brother turned 14 and was to do a quest to become the crown prince of the kingdom. Normally you have to hunt down a rebel human or leader of an enemy army. My brother told our father King Gestal that he was going to hunt down Duke Laka Hanis, he was the leader of the human rebellion. In actuality he was plotting our father’s death. Our father was a terrible King. He had pity for those humans and made laws protecting them from us feeding on them and using them as slaves. Not only did this anger the ruling vampires, but it also killed us. More and more vampires died for lack of food, our father would only allow royals and military personnel to feed on humans. We were forced to hire humans to fill in position vampires once held. Our mother even was not allowed to feed since she was only half vampire. She grew insane from lack of food and killed herself in front of my older sister Cicil.” The Princess started to cry and after a few minutes gain control of herself. “My brother having an ever growing hatred towards our father gained support from all the vampires including the military. The night of my brother’s quest, my brother went out of the palace and hid at the military hospital. At midnight when the moon was at it’s peak and when it shown brightly red my brother quickly was led back into the palace. There he gained entrance to our father’s chambers. My brother set himself up with a few special spells using his spell-enhancing dagger made out of the original vampire’s bones. The spells were Ma Sile so no one could hear his movements, Va Spe it gave him speed like you never saw almost impossible to cast it is rumored to stop time for everyone but the user, finally Ulti Stra to give him the ultimate strength. Using these he was able to slice off father’s head, fingers, and heart. Brother then took my father’s crown and placed it on his own head claiming himself ruler of our kingdom. That day the whole kingdom rejoiced in my brother’s victory. We hunted humans for days but made sure many were left to keep on breeding. It was a joyful time not only did we have a new ruler but new leaders. Brother’s friends William and Aya were given top positions. Even though William was human he was given the title Captain of the Guard. When Aya was given the title of General he offered his right eye to my brother as a token of his loyalty. We all did think the best was yet to come for our kingdom. Things looked up for a few months. Until the month of Octazi, that is when the darkness came. We received a letter from an allied civilization the dark Elves. They needed back up to stop an alien invasion. At the time we had not a clue of what was to come. Aya sent out a few of his men to help but none came back. A month later the cadabers showed at our front door. The massacre lasted until my brother and Lord Moe activated the Black Tower. It has a power that erases beings that are not from this planet. It was created by the original vampires that fought in the war of the planets. We hid in the shield that the tower created for us. Aya would send men out to the forest to find cadabers and test how to kill a cadaber. At first it was useless no one came back alive. Until one day in Janzui in a heavy snow storm a group of soldiers found a blue haired boy in the middle of the forest surrounded by dead cadabers. That boy was your brother Pororo. Brother had me take care of him since Pororo looked to be my age. We grew close and he offered to teach our military how to fight against cadabers. Now we are the last known original civilization on this planet and we have hopes of defending our planet against Ian and his cadabers. This now strengthened by your appearance two years after the war started.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I think that’s enough for now. I am growing tired and need to rest. I will tell you about the original vampires another day. I will give you a couple of days to digest this information I gave you.” She stood up and looked at the giant clock that was above us. “It is almost time for midday meal. We all should go prepare.” I nodded and relieved myself of her presence. I headed back to the entrance of the library, there I saw Karen waiting for me.

“So how did the lesson go Ma’am?” She gave me a warm smile. I gave her a short version of what I was told. “My that was a fun lesson then. Now I shall take you to your chambers and we will dress for midday meal.” Karen took my hand and in a flash of light we were in my chambers. In my room was my other maids Lillith and Hayatt. “Miss Requiem we have good news. Lord Moe has a new dress for you to try out! He said it would probably suit you better than that flower dress.” They showed me the dress, which was much more appealing to me. It was short black dress with long bell sleeves, ruffled skirt, leather corset, red hearts on the chest, and red belts scattered around it. With the dress there were black leather pants with the same type of red belts scattered along that too. The boots were in the same fashion as the dress and pants. The jewelry was a red belt collar, red heart earrings, and a red see through eyepatch. My make up was all red to match the red in my cloths. I gave a big smile in approval for all of it. Since I did not have any physical activity yet I decided to forgo taking a bath at this time, so instead I got dressed right away. The dressing took about an hour. I finished just before noon in time to get to midday meal. My maids quickly surrounded me and brought me to the dining hall.

Unlike this morning midday meal was quite quiet. There was no lavish introduction and not much was talked about. Though I found it funny that the prince could not stop blushing and staring at me. At one point he did comment on my cloths. “Requiem your cloths are always so well placed on you. Do you have any idea who makes them for you?” This set me back for a minute, because I thought he always knew. “Well my Prince it is Lord Moe who makes my cloths. I thought you knew.” When I said this, the Prince looked shocked; he then looked right at Lord Moe who nodded his head back at the Prince. Unlike Lord Moe’s usual scowling face he was right then giving a broad smile. I wonder if making cloths is Lord Moe’s hobby? That was the highlight of the meal. The midday meal was human liver and onions with baked potato and salad. We had carbonated drink with our usual eyeball floating in it. For desert we had fruit melody with whipped cream. After the meal I decided to go back to my chamber and get my violin. Since there was no execution for today I wanted to brush up on my music.

It was Lillith’s turn to escort me to my destination. She brought me to the central garden that was placed right in the middle of the castle. I sat by a fountain where there was a statue of a beautiful lady. I turned to Lillith to ask about the lady. She simply replied with her soft smile. “This statue is important. It is dedicated to our goddess Enma. All the planets worship her as the great mother of all creation. The story is that when a planet is in trouble the goddess Enma will choose a lady on that planet that resembles her. That lady will become the savior of the planet.” She shook her head. “As you can see that has not happened yet and everyone doubts that it is true.” I then remembered something that was put in my memories. The full name of the goddess is Enma Antex. She has two planets named after her. The two planets hold parts of her original being. This is one of the planets named Enma. I hated to see her so sad. “Listen Lillith… I bet the goddess is just waiting for the right time. I bet she knows just the right time to help us.” She nodded and gave a faint smile. “I guess you are right. Anyway I will be at the other side of the entrance to the garden if you need me.” She went walking off. I started to practice with my violin. The air flowed around me moving to my music. My hair danced around my face and shoulders reacting to the melodious electricity that vibrated off my violin. The string flowed around my body my music grew louder and everything in the garden seemed to flow along with my music. At the climax of my song a flash of white light came over me.

I found myself floating in white space. Turning around I saw a lady standing on a fountain. As I looked closer it was the same lady that was a statue on the garden fountain! “Welcome Requiem. I have been watching you. When you were born I felt something different from you. Since you were born everything seemed to flow around you. Nothing ever went against what you wanted to happen. For a girl not made by nature this should not even be possible. Yet some how nature loves you. You can feel it every time you play your music. Everything follows your command. I am willing to help you strengthen that power. There are dragons, demons, and spirits that live on this planet Enma. No one dares try to control them, not even your dear Prince. But I believe you can! Using all the powers of this planet you might stand a chance against Ian. Mortals made Ian, and so I cannot fight him or dispose of him. But another being made by mortals can. If you wish to help your friends live and the rest of this planet live, then just tell me. I can help you.” I could not believe what I was hearing, but who was she? I dared to ask. “You sound as if you have great knowledge and power. One thing that bothers me is that I do not know who you are.” She gave a soft smile to me.  "Are you sure? If I remember correctly, that girl Lillith just told you who I was."  I gave a loud audible gulp. “You mean you are her? The goddess Enma Antex?” She gave a soft chuckle. “Yes you are correct Requiem. Now that you know who I am, tell me do you wish to save everyone?” Without question I answered. “Yes help me help them! I do not wish to lose this life I have.” She nodded at me. “I left a part of my mortal soul on this planet. It is in the shape of a necklace. I hid it in the Origin Caverns. That is where the first intellectual species lived. This necklace will help you communicate with all the beings on this planet. It also will shield you from physical or magical harm. The damage sent at you will be sent back to the caster ten fold. With this I am sure you will find the way to defeat Ian.” She almost vanished but came back. “I also forgot to give you this one ability. Your hair will have healing abilities but only when you wish it to. This shall aid you in your journey.” After that a flash of light came over me again and I woke up seeing Lillith and Moe standing over me.

“Ma’am are you alright? I heard you scream and found you passed out here. What happened?” I never could imagine seeing Lillith scared. Her face was pale with fright. Lord Moe’s face was also filled with fright. “Well something strange did happen. I think the goddess Enma contacted me.” Lord Moe stopped me right there. “Miss Requiem it would be best to talk about this with the Prince and the rest of the war council.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did Lord Moe actually believe me? Lillith took my hand and smiled at me. “I’ll take you there Ma’am.” In a flash of light I was brought to a dark room. I heard a clapping sound and florescent lights lit up around the room. At the head of the table was Lord Moe and next to him was the Prince.

“Unlike the rest of the palace our war room is fitted with technology your mother made for us. Secondary to the Black Tower this room is the most advanced in all the kingdom.” As Lord Moe spoke some more people came in General Aya Shwarz, Captain William, Princess Mysti, my brother, Princess Cicil, and a few other military personnel. “Why I brought you here Miss Requiem is that you are now the only person that can contact Goddess Enma. Unlike what most people think Enma is not a mythical creature. She is real and always watching us. She has an uncanny interest in her two planets Enma and Antex. We don’t know what it is, but we know she will not let the planets fall to evil hands. Enma gave the Black Towers each kingdom has on this planet during the war of the planets. Now we believe she has something for us again and only you can lead us to it.” Lord Moe turned around and turned on a big computer with a giant screen. He started typing commands and all the sudden a woman appeared on the screen. This woman was my mother Minako Axule.

“Hello Moe! Something must be up if you have the whole war crew with you and including my daughter. How can I help you?” Lord Moe seemed to have a big smirk on his face when seeing my mother. Did he have a crush on her? Now that would be creepy having him as my father. “Minako so nice to see you again my dear. Your daughter Requiem had some good news for us. She said that Enma contacted her. I thought you might want to hear what she has to say about her contact.” Mother jumped up into the air and leaned her head into the screen. “WHAT! My daughter, my greatest creation, was chosen by the great Goddess Enma? This has made me so happy! Oh darling please tell me what happened when you talked to Enma!”

All of their eyes were on me. I told them about the necklace and the hidden beings on this planet. “Oh I remember the two hidden object the necklace and sword of Enma placed on the two planets of the Goddess. A friend of mine left me the sword of Enma. With only the sword we couldn’t really defeat Ian, we just weaken him and scare him away. I believe he is looking for the necklace and is ahead of you.” My mother stepped away from the screen and I heard beeping sounds. Moments later she returned with a large glowing sword. Being it on the screen I could not make out details. “This is the sword.  I will send it through the transporter. Moe, my love, please start the transporter on your end.” Lord Moe nodded and went to a door next to the screen. It swooshed open and what was inside it was a mechanical mess of wires, lights, and metal. Lord Moe typed something in the keypad and the whole thing came alive with noises. In moments a ball of light lit up in the machine. There in the machine was the sword with a glowing read aura. Lord Moe carried the sword over to me. As I grabbed for it something strange happened. The sword flew right into my hand and attached itself to me. My right hand now was a glowing red crystal sword with gold vines wrapped around it. As soon as it came onto me it disappeared into my skin. “Well that proves it. Your contact with Enma was true. She has picked you to become her host. Not to worry though, people that are chosen to be Enma’s host are allowed to live their lives as their own. You are just her outlet to talk to us mortals. As reward she gives you her powers, well as much as she can give.” Lord Moe and everyone else knelt down to me. Lord Moe then began to speak to me. “Please Miss Requiem would you help save our world and the universe from Ian? All of our services will be devoted to help you take down Ian if you will.” His eyes sparkled with hope when he said this. I now was not a stranger to be cautious of but a savior to put hope upon.

“As I said to Goddess Enma I will help get rid of Ian. As you are at my service I am at yours. I devote myself to protecting this kingdom, no everything.” Even though I sounded calm, I was frightened. I had no idea what I was up against. I think I was happier being an executioner for the Prince. As I thought that the Prince came up to me and hugged me tight. “I wish this was not so, but if you have to I will support you in anyway I can. Come to my chambers after dinner I have something to show you.” He gave me a soft passionate kiss on my lips and let go. Interrupting the moment my mother began to speak again. “My! My little girl has got herself quite a catch. Well anyway I have to go plot a map for you to follow to get to the necklace. I will talk to you another time my children. Moe, darling, I leave the care of my children in your hands.” She then turned off her computer and Lord Moe did the same. As we were starting to all file out of the war room a butler came in. “Excuse me my Lords and Ladies but evening meal is ready in the dining hall.” We all nodded and teleported to the dining hall.

When we were all seated a great feast was presented. Today was brain soup for starters, spiced leg of human, vegetable melody, and for dessert ladies finger chocolate fondue. The leg of human was my favorite. The spices were intoxicating and the meat fell off the bone so easily. It came with a wonderful dipping sauce that made the spices twice as good. I think I blushed a few times when eating it. The ladies fingers were delectable too! The nails were stripped from them; they were covered in a sugary glaze. When dipped into the chocolate they had to cool off so you could dip them into the marshmallow sauce. It was such a sweet and meaty treat to end the meal. When all the plates were cleaned up from the table I had my maids bring me to my room. I needed to get dressed for my meeting with Prince Morar.

In my chambers I went to my closet to find a nice nighttime dress. What caught my eye was a silky smooth, shiny, long red one-piece dress. It had black lace ribbons braided into the sleeves and skirt. To match it I found a pair of red silk slip on shoes and a long red bow to be fitted into my hair. I only refreshed the same makeup I had on before. When done I requested to be brought to the Prince’s chamber. Quite quickly I was brought to the entrance. The guards said nothing and just let me in. I suppose he told them I was coming.

In his room the moonlight shined down upon the Prince showing his silk black gown he had on. In here he wore no crown nor any cape or jewelry. He sat there stroking a pile of armor and weaponry. “Ah my princess you came. Please come in.” He looked up and gave me a faint smile. “I obtained this set of armor and weapons for you my love. They were my mother’s when she was our age.” I felt shocked that he would give me something so precious. He must of saw me in shock. “Do not worry my love. I believe you really will need this on your journey. There is a secret I must tell you about this armor. It was not made here but at the Dragon Clan. My mother was not human but a dragon princess.” I had to ask. “Why keep this a secret my prince?” He just smiled at me and said. “The two races were to never marry or they would produce extraordinarily powerful children. Imagine a being that was both dragon and vampire, they would be unstoppable. But that did not stop my parents they loved eachother so much, like we do.”

I slipped in next to him on his couch. Then I gave him a soft kiss on his lips. “My Prince I am so glad that you find me worthy of wearing this armor and weapons and I promise not to let you down.” The Prince stroked my hair and started to pick up the armor and weapon. “This armor is made out of dragon scales more powerful than any metal or stone known to us. Also this sword is made out of dragon diamond and layered with dragon venom to poison your enemy. I know you have the Goddess’ sword but you should not rely on one weapon alone. “ He seemed nervous of what he was about to say. He started to comb his hands through his hair and I could see droplets of sweat on his brow. “Requiem I do have one thing I want to do for you before you leave. I want to perform the vampire ceremony on you. This will exchange our blood and turn you into an immortal vampire. With my blood in you, this will give you the strength of both vampire and dragon along with your own capabilities. Please let me do this to you.” This shocked me as well, but I want this to happen. To be one with my one true love is all that I want. “My Prince I accept your offer. I am yours and you may do what you want with me. I am more than happy to accept being with you forever. What ever you need me to do I will do for you.” Instead of being his usual calm self the Prince flung himself onto me. “Requiem I don’t want to lose you too! I already lost my mother and I can’t afford to lose you! I know you have to do this, but I just can’t even think of losing you. I wish I could go with you. Moe will not let me, but if I can combine myself with you, I know I am still protecting you from harm.” He couldn’t help himself and kept sobbing on my lap. I reached for his face and gave him a great kiss on his lips. From there he fell back onto my lap crying as I stroked his beautiful hair. An hour later he fell asleep on my lap. Carefully I brought him to his bed and tucked him in.

Once I was done I exited the Prince’s chamber with my armor and sword. Here Karen was waiting outside of the chamber to bring me to my own. When I got into my chamber I plopped myself down at this table where I am writing this. I could not help but to cry for a while before writing this entry. Now though I bravely hope that tomorrow’s ceremony will go well and I can spend eternity with the man I love my dear Prince Morar.

looks good so far i will finish reading when fully finished

So finally after many many delays I got chapter 4 done!  If anyone finds any errors just pm me them ok~  I love critics!




Junuzi 19, Age of Morar 3

Dear Diary,

Well I never could have expected being married to a vampire prince would take such a long and strange time.  My mother's database did not have a recording of what a vampire wedding consisted of on this planet so I could not prepare myself for what was to come.  Having a goddess watching you also did not help much either. 

The morning of the first day for the wedding set the tune for the whole next 3 days.  I woke up to a wonderful aroma of coffee mixed with chocolate.  I turned to my right and saw Lillith mixing me a cup of coffee with sugar and cream. "Good morning ma'am.  I have a special drink for you to have this morning.  It is part of the wedding ceremony."  As I got up from my bed she began enchanting the drink with a spell.  "Pai ele egon eter infi!"  As she was giving me the drink she explained what was going on.  "This drink will make it so you do not feel the pain of death when being transformed into a vampire.  Only royals are allowed to have this spell enchanted on them."  I nodded and started to drink the coffee.  As I thought there was a hint of chocolate in it.

Karen then came over and sat next to me.  "Ma'am with you being married tonight things will be hectic today and many traditions must be fulfilled for the success of this wedding."  She showed me her clipboard of today's schedule.  "This morning you have an hour for bathing and an hour for dressing.  Then there is an hour for morning meal.  After that you must make choose the entertainment for the wedding.  This will also be his concubine for when you are not around."  This I found to be a strange tradition but I guess tradition is tradition you shouldn't go against it.  "This should take you until mid day meal.  This too will take an hour.  Then the afternoon you will be taking part in the festivities that the people of the kingdom will hold in your honor.  At the end they will hold a big feast for you and the prince.  Once that is done the wedding will take place in the black tower."  Before she could finish Hayatt came bursting out of my bathing room.  Her whole body was shaking and all color was washed away from her face.

"Ma'am your bath is ready and there is some one with extreme importance waiting for you in there."  Of course Karen frowned upon the fact that Hayatt would not tell who was in the bathing room.  I questioned it too.  "Hayatt!  Have you forgotten that madam Requiem is under strict security?  She cannot enter that room until we know who is in there.  Now please tell me who is in the bathing room."  Hayatt shook herself back to normal.  "Sorry Lady Karen!  My apologies!  Her holiness Enma Antex is in the bath tub waiting to see madam Requiem."  Both Karen and Lillith seemed to turn into stiff boards when they heard who was in my bathing room.  I simply after finishing my coffee, laid the cup on my end table and got up to go into the bathing room.  After all I should not keep the goddess waiting.

Karen stopped me before entering the bathing room.  "Ma'am shouldn't you brush up or try to make yourself more presentable to the goddess before entering?"  I shook my head.  "Karen, if she is in my bath tub she probably doesn't expect me to look perfect right now.  Anyway I do not wish to keep her waiting any longer."  Karen nodded and let me enter the bathing room where the goddess waited for me.

The bathing room was filled with steam from the heat of the water.  The bathtub was lit with candles nestled in the flowers of the lily pads that were floating in the water.  At the far end of the tub I saw the goddess.  "Your holiness it is a pleasure to see you again."  Her melodious voice came wafting out from the steam.  "My child I see many good things are happening to you.  Not only are you getting married today but also I see you have gotten one of my treasures.  How is that sword treating you?"  I looked at my arm.  I had totally forgotten about the sword.  Right then my arm started to glow red.  "I see you forgot about it.  Well that is a good sign!  If it were on your mind all the time you would grow evil with power.  I can tell you will be a good host for my treasures."  She then beckoned me into the tub.  "Come join me the water will grow cold if you don't enter soon."  With that I slipped off my nightgown and entered the hot water.   My body seemed to melt with the combination of the warm water and the wonderful aroma it generated.  "I put some special oils into the water to make your skin perfect!  It will also make you taste just divine for the prince when you two get married tonight."  She waved her hands in a pattern lily pad with a cup appeared in front of me.  "This is a blessing to you.  With drinking this there will be no chance of failure of your transformation.  I want nothing to ruin this wonderful wedding!"  She gave me such a big smile while I lifted the drink.  The liquid in the cup was clear with bubbles.  I took a sip and a wonderful sensation came over my mouth.  It was sweet with a tickle.  My database told me this was a carbonated drink.  "Your prince is probably drinking the same thing well not having the same blessing but my husband Klarth has a blessing for him as well."  I was shocked that the goddess had a husband.  But I guess it would be lonely living for ever without anyone to keep you company.  She then got up and walked behind me.  "Do you mind if I wash your hair?"  I shook my head.  "No I do not mind.  You may wash my hair."  I am at least wise enough to not reject a goddess’ request. 

After some quiet time of her washing my hair, the goddess bid me farewell.  Right then Hayatt came in to help me get dressed.  “Ma’am did you have a pleasant time with the goddess?”  I nodded as I got out of the tub.  “That is good.  Lord Moe has made you a dress to wear for morning meal.  I will help you get it on.”  She revealed to me a glorious red dress.  The skirt of the dress looked like a rose how it blossomed out, the corset part had green ribbons and lace to make it look like vines.  After getting the dress on I slipped on the red velvet slippers that had green vine pattern on them.  Once dressed Hayatt and I entered into my bedroom where there my make up and hair was done.  The make up was red rose and a touch of green sparkle in the lipstick and eye shadow.  This so far was my favorite combination of cloths and make up.  As for usual I was taken straight to the front door of the dining hall and introduced.

When I entered I noticed everyone had red roses on.  Cicil was in a white gown with red roses on the neck, belt, and shoulders of her dress.  Mysti wore her typical black but did make herself a beautiful red rose crown.  Pororo jumped right out in my eyes with him wearing a stunning black tuxedo with a rose pin on his tie and a rose in his shirt pocket.  His hair was even jelled down to make him look much more his age.  Now for the best sight of all was my prince Morar.  He wore a lovely red velvet suit slightly covered by a long cape made out of rose pedals.  His grin was so welcoming I was magnetically drawn to him.  When I reached him he took my hand and gave me a peck on the cheek.  Then a butler seated me in my chair.  The food soon came out all adorned with roses.  At this point I knew this had be a traditional wedding morning meal.  As the platters of food came out the prince leaned over to me.  “You probably are wondering what is going on with all the roses.”  His smile grew as he brushed his hands through my hair.  “The morning of a royal wedding is blessed by roses.  Roses are the sign of love and love must flourish in a relationship as great as ours.  Thus the mass amount of roses.  You will notice each meal this day will have a theme.”  The meal consisted of hot cereal, ladyfinger fruit torte, and waffles drizzled with blood.  Again I was served a cup of coffee with a magic spell put on it. 

No one talked until near the end of the meal.  Cicil ended her meal before the rest of us and she began to talk to me.  “Requiem I do have something I wish to talk to you privately about before you begin reviewing singers for the wedding.  I will talk to you about it in the throne room before you get going.”  I nodded.  “I will make sure to delay the start so we have some time to talk.”  Once everyone was finished and gone I was escorted to the throne room.

When I entered the throne room I told the head guard who was William to delay things a bit for me, that I needed to talk with princess Cicil.  He did and soon Cicil made her way into the throne room.  “My I haven’t been in here for a while.  Brother always uses this as his playroom.  Not to say I don’t have a playroom.  I do have the dungeons to play with.  Did you know we have a death maze down there?  We send our prisoners into the maze and not a single one has made out of it alive.  Of course we only send the ones we know won’t make it out.  We don’t want any one actually to escape!”  She gave out a big laugh and leaned up against the throne.  “Now why I am here talking to you.”  She actually made it look like she was thinking.  “Oh yes!  There is something you can give Morar that will make him happy when you are away.  Pick out the prettiest girl but one that doesn’t sing well and send her to the doll room.  I will show you what we do with the girls in the doll room.  My brother always loved to play with daddy’s dolls when he was a kid.  Though since he isn’t married he couldn’t get a doll.  Now that’s all changed he’s getting married today so it’s ok if he has a doll!  Oh I know what we can do!  How bout you choose two girls!  That way I can make an example out of one girl and you can make the second girl.”  She gave out another laugh and pulled out her dagger.  She used it as a mirror to look at her face.  “Well I should put some more make up on for the event.  Those maids of mine are so caught up on hating you they keep messing up my make up.  I might just whip them into shape if they keep messing up my good looks!”  She got up and instantly flashed out of the room.  I then researched the term doll in my database and combined it with the words living being.  The description I got gave me chills at first then I realized it would be a wonderful present for my prince.

A few minutes passed then William came in with the first female singer.  It was not even a minute that had passed that I threw the first girl out.  Her looks were dull and her singing well let’s just say did not fit a royal wedding.  Many more girls were the same way.  Some girls even were too cheerful to handle.  An hour into it I found a brother sister duo Sonya and Symph.  Their handle of the violin and accordion seemed to control ones emotions like a puppet master with its puppet.  Their virtuous voices brought a dramatic and thrilling feel to the music.  I felt like my prince when he saw me for the first time.  The two wore matching gothic cloths with the colors of red and black.  They also wore black and white clown make up with some red splattering to look like blood.  Not only were these two good for the wedding but also I think a good replacement for when I have to go for my journey.

Even though I found the musicians I wanted for the wedding I had to pretend to look for more so I could get some ladies for dolls.  Now I didn’t find any more musicians I liked but this one mother and daughter duo caught my eye for being good dolls.  They went through the process of making sure their bodies were so revealing and perfect.  Their hair was also dyed pink and purple.  I had the guards take them to the doll room.  Of course the two girls didn’t know what the doll room was and just thought they were accepted.  Right after that I closed auditions and chose Sonya and Symph as the entertainment for the night.

Once everyone was cleared out of the throne room I had William take me to the doll room. When I entered a horrid stench of death and bleach hit me.  Thankfully I have the little ability to shut off my sense of smell and taste when I feel like it.  I saw in the corner that the two pretty women strapped in the surgery tables.  They were trying to eak out screams but could not do so from the leather straps over their mouths.  The surgeon turned to face me and there I saw that it was actually Cicil.  “I was wondering if you would show up.  Most people would turn tail and run if they heard what the doll room was about.  You on the other hand are willing to take part in making the dolls for your love.”  She gave out another one of her large laughs and then sighed.  “Oh and don’t worry.  This is actually my profession!  My mother taught me how to do this and I’ve loved doing it.”  She looked me over and frowned.  “My dear you have not changed!  You can’t expect to perform the doll surgery with those pretty cloths on.  Go into the prep room and change into the cloths I set out for you.  Once we are done there will be a plain dress for you to change into.”  I nodded and entered the prep room.  I slipped into the cloths for the surgery and laid my cloths in the hamper.  Before exiting the room I saw the poster instructing me how to clean my hands before surgery.  After cleaning my hands Cicil came in with a fresh pair of gloves for me to wear.

“Now that we are ready you will do the same exact thing as I do.  Never question what I do.  This is an exact science used for hundreds of years.”  She puts her mask on, as do I.  Then we go to a draw that holds lots of needles.  “We first sedate our dolls so they don’t mess up the procedure with moving and screaming.”  After a few minutes of getting the needle in just right I was able to sedate my doll.  I think I was lucky having a computer like mind.  I had no trouble do exactly what Cicil instructed me in doing.  We did the simplest of procedure of cutting off the arms and healing the wound with magic dust.  Then we went into the back of the leg severing the nerves so the dolls could not walk.  Our final procedure was to cut out the vocal cords of the girls that was a bit harder than the other two procedures.  Once done we hosed them down and put them in recovery rooms.  “Well you are a great surgeon when need be.  This will be good when you go out into the battlefield.  Don’t worry about the rest of the prep the dolls go through.   The butlers take care of them from now.  You should go get dressed for lunch now.”  Cicil then flashed out of the prep room.  I on the other hand had to slip in the plain dress and meet up with Karen who was standing outside in the hallway.  “Ma’am are you ok?  That whole experience must have taken a toll on your mental status.”  I just shrugged.   I didn’t even think of how right or wrong it was to do that to those girls.  All I wanted was to make something my prince would love.  It never registered to me that it was bad because it fits with what the culture here is.  Once we got to my room I asked Karen why she thought it would bother me.  “Well ma’am you are not from here so I wondered if things like that bothered you.”  I shook my head.  “Listen Karen.  Most of what I remember is from here.  My memory from before coming here is still quite fuzzy.  So using humans as objects is what I know.  I never considered being nice to a human unless they are put in position of power like Captain William.”  All Karen could do was smile.  She got out a new dress for me to wear. 

My cloths for midday meal were all gold.  The dress was sparkling gold that lay drooping on my shoulders, folding itself over multiple times before slinking down my body loosely.  The skirt of the dress had a slit going from mid thigh of my right leg all the way down and also flowed a little bit on the floor looking like a gold puddle surrounding me.  My shoes were gold high heels and sparkled like the dress.  The makeup was all gold as well.  Somehow I had a hunch that this meal was going to be gold theamed.

When I got to the dining hall my hunch was confirmed.  All the decorations were in gold even all the dresses and tuxedos.  I was even shocked to see Mysti in all gold even though her dress was in the usual style she looked like a different girl.  Before I sat down Morar gave me a kiss on the lips then whispered to me.  “I hear you are working hard on something for me.  Can you clue me in?”  I gave a wicked smile and shook my head.  Without saying a word I sat down and almost broke out a laugh seeing Morar pouting in his chair.  Some how for the first time I felt like a part of the family.  Princess Cicil and I would exchange giggles when we would see Morar pout.  For midday meal we had ribs, brain soufflé, toss salad, and sparkling white wine.  The meal was quite quiet and made me feel at ease.  The sun hit the gold curtains lighting up the room and it gave a feel quite opposite to where I was before in the doll room.  Everything seemed bright and good.  On my plate was a note for me. 

“Requiem please spend the rest of the day at the festival in town.  The people wish to see their queen.  You will be escorted by General Aya and Captain William for protection.”

When everyone left the dining hall General Aya and Captain William escorted me out to the front gate of the castle.  One other person accompanied me and it was my head maid Karen.  Even with the gates closed I could hear the roar of cheers at the announcement of my arrival.  With the gates opening a blinding light and deafening roar overwhelmed me.   Once my eyes cleared I saw the air filled with confetti and a sea of people humans and vampires alike cheering for me.  The crowd made a pathway for me leading to my coach colored in gold and red.  As I entered the town I saw houses decorated in the kingdom’s colors of gold, red, and green.  As I remember gold is for the royalty that rules over the kingdom, red is for the constant bloodshed of victory, and green is the military color.  The coach driver used a cloaking spell to allow me to get off somewhere without being noticed for a while.  If we didn’t use that I would not be able to have room to get out of the coach.

After a few minutes a crowed did find me and I was swarmed again.  I found it strange that even the humans were happy to see me, unless they were forced to.  Kids would give me roses and candies, which Aya, Karen, and William would take for me.  I was not allowed to accept anything.  Trying to ignore the crowed I would visit the stands of what the countrymen had for show.  I got to taste all sorts of foods and view all sorts of different clothing and knickknacks.  Some dresses picked my interests and I took some toys thinking of when I have children.  It would be nice to have toys made by the people for my children to have.  I know I don’t have children now, but since I am going to be queen I will have children in the future. 

After hours of being with the people of the kingdom I was then escorted back into the castle.  I had to get into my wedding dress before evening meal.  I was told our evening meal would not take place in the dining hall, but in the front courtyard for the people to see.  It is easy to say it frightened me a bit to have the whole kingdom see me eat and mingle with the royal family.  The thing is that I might have an abundance of information in my brain about the universe, but when it comes to the customs and rituals of this kingdom I am lacking in those.  There is absolutely no information on any of the customs and rituals that goes on here.  I just have to trust that people don’t expect me to know about the ways of the wedding.  While I was thinking this over I was already being prepped with make up.  This time, though I was not allowed to see what was going on my face.  Once done I was blindfolded with a silk red wrap and then dressed in the wedding garbs.  Once the veil was put on my blindfold stayed on and I was teleported with the words “Vas telle”.  It was Karen’s voice so I felt comfortable.

I smelled the fresh air and heard the roaring crowds.  I then heard Lord Moe announce me.  “Introducing your soon to be queen Lady Requiem Axule.”  The crowed erupted even more at the announcement.  Karen took my hand and led me to my seat.  Still the blindfold stayed on my face.  A new hand a warm masculine hand fell upon my right hand.  “Do not worry my love.  I too am blind.  This is all part of the ceremony.  Once we marry I will be the first one you see in your new life.”  The blush flooded my face as I put my left hand on top of his.  I could smell the food coming out and hear the glasses being filled.  Moe stood over us as he began to speak once more.  “We raise our glasses in honor to our new rulers!  It has been too long since this kingdom has had a proper king and queen.  The last dynasty was week, but as our glorious Prince Morar Haunt has shown he is more than worthy to take the throne.  Now he has finally found his queen and once more shall this kingdom have a king and queen to rule over it!  To you our new rulers we offer this feast in your honor!  Let us enjoy the new age of Morar and Requiem!”  All at once at the table and in the crowd a deafening roar erupted!  A large smile came over my face and I knew it had to come over Morar’s face as well.  Everyone began eating and I must say it was hard eating without seeing.  I had to feel for my utensils and my food.  I honestly can’t say what we had.  All I know is some sort of meat, vegetables, and fruit.  The desert was creamy, tall, and sweet.  It was like cream layered with fruit jelly.  The fruits were strawberry, cherry, and raspberry.  I can vision a cake of white fluff with layers of red drizzled with sweet red sauce pooling onto the plate like blood.  The drinks were sweat too and sparkled in your mouth.  The meal lasted for a couple of hours.

Once the meal was done the rest of the royal family headed up to the black tower.  Moe then came and lead Morar and I up to the black tower.  Hand in hand we made our way up to the top.  The air was thick with incense and the beautiful music from the twins.  There was a choir of people chanting in a language I did not understand.  Someone felt like they were hovering above Morar and I.  He began chanting scripture at us.  “Welcome children of Enma.  You have been brought under her guidance to this place of worship.  Her love has brought you two into love.  With her will I am to bind you two through blood.  This will be an eternal contract.  Do you Requiem relinquish your mortal life to live eternal under your husband Morar?”  I gave a pleasant smile and said.  “I do.”  He then continued with Morar.  “Do you Morar agree to protect and care for your wife Requiem?”  Morar than turned to me and caressed my head.  “I do.”  The man then continued.  “With the blessing of Enma let the transformation of love commence!”

Right then Morar quickly kissed my lips with such passion.  He slowly moved his lips down the left side of my neck.  A stab and burn mixed with the thrill of passion that was swirling in my body.  I fell limp and as everything almost went black I felt a growing hunger in my body.  Quickly I felt myself clinging onto Morar’s neck and I started to take his blood.  In a matter of minutes our bodies were one, our hearts were one.  The passion of the moment was so overwhelming; I did not want it to end!  With how happy I was some blood would trickle out of my mouth and the same happened with Morar.  When it was done I felt renewed.  Everything seemed so much brighter even if I still could not see.  Though the site problem was corrected once the transformation was done.  The leader of the ceremony gave us the command to remove each other’s blindfolds.  When we did I saw the most splendid sight.  Morar’s face was so pale and the blood was still trickling down his face.  He gave me such a warm smile and his eyes looked like balls of stars. All the candles in the room reflected in his eyes.  The cloths he wore made him all the more stunning.  He had blood red gothic suit with ruffles on the sleeves, collar, and pant legs.  Tucked in the neckline of the shirt was a black lace scarf with a crystal skull in the middle.  He also wore his red royal cape and crown.  My dress was made to match his cloths.  I had a red sleeveless blood red dress with gold coins around the hips along with black chains hanging lightly on my hips.  The dress did not have a long train it cut off just above the feet and frilled out a bit.  I wore long red gloves to match the dress.  The veil made the dress it was extremely long with gold trim and metal chains holding it onto my head.  I did not have a scarf but a lace collar with a gold crystal skull in the middle.  We made such a beautiful king and queen. 

Once we were confirmed as a couple, the tower erupted in music and cheers.  Morar and I lead everyone out of the tower and into the courtyard of the castle.  Green, gold, and red filled the air with all the confetti and fire works.  It was so splendid to see!  Once we all were at the courtyard Morar gave me a very long and passionate kiss in front of the entire kingdom!  The leader of the ceremony then gave a speech.  “I here by declare these two people to be one.  Welcome your new king and queen Morar and Requiem Haunt!”  I could not believe it, but the cheers got louder, it was quite shocking to hear!  To honor our marriage the whole kingdom had a big dance party.  All night long I was in Morar’s arms.  I could never imagine such a perfect night.  It was strange even though he is an evil ruthless ruler he sure knew how to dance. 

When the dancing was over we had one more thing to do.  The church of Enma had two humans picked out to be sacrificed for us.  I was given a tall red head male about six feet tall and slightly muscular.  His skin was bronzed by the sun he must do lots of out door activities.  They must have bathed him, he smelled like roses.  The man’s heartbeat became faster as I neared him.  I leaned over him, stroking his chest muscles.  Before I bit down on him I thanked him for his valiant sacrifice to my being queen. He gave me a smile but I still could feel his fear.  This is something I knew I would have to get used to.  All my other killings were done far away from my victims I didn’t feel their fear.  This was on a different scale.  Though I knew this man made the decision to sacrifice himself to me so he could not turn back now.  I too could not show weakness in front of my people.  I closed my eyes and bit right into the left side of his neck.  With him wiggling around so much my instinct was to clench tighter around him.  The moment seemed to pass slowly as I drank every bit of his blood.  Soon all color was gone from him and he lay limp on the table where he once was filled with life.  Morar finished his sacrifice at the same time as I did.  Some how that made things feel so right to be able to do something at the exact same time as my other half.  The crowd went nuts as they saw both Morar and I finish at the same time.  As the bodies were taken away the guards escorted us back into the castle. 

Once inside Moe confronted us at the entrance.  “My queen now that you are married to the king you will both share the same room.  The royal chambers are ready for you two.  Please take my hand.”  He bowed at us and held out his hands.  Morar and I looked at each other and nodded.  We took Moe’s hands and he brought us to our new chamber.  The chamber was huge!  In the center was a large bed made out of cherry wood, the linen was all red velvet.  On the left side was a fireplace with a black leather sofa.  The opposite side of the room had the doors to the separate bathing rooms and next to each door had the giant wardrobes for each of us.  In the two corners next to the entrance each held a vanity that also include a writing table.  Behind the bed was a huge balcony facing the back end of the castle.  The moon was full tonight with all the stars sparkling brightly.  Morar and I just clung to each other admiring our new room.  All the sudden we heard our chamber doors close and we looked back and saw that Moe had left our company. 

Once we knew Moe was gone, Morar swept me off my feet and brought me to the bed.  We didn’t even have to speak a word.  Our bodies acted as one we knew what we wanted.  He took out his dagger and started to cut off my cloths.  I started to take his cloths as well, everything we did synchronized.  Even though we both never did this before everything went smoothly.  We knew what we wanted from each other and we knew how we were going to do it.  The whole moment was perfect!  Though we were in the heat of passion we took great care of each other.  While this went on the fireworks still were going off.  The fireworks only stopped when we stopped.  It seemed as though the entire universe revolved around us.  We controlled nature and time, everything was on our side! 

I did sleep for a while with my love after our passion, but I felt something in me and I just can’t sleep.  I decided to use this time to record the wonderful events of this day.  I never want to forget what has happened.  I am a woman now with the man of my dreams.  Sure there is going to be many trials ahead of me, but I can now breath at peace that I have a home and a husband.  I am no longer the strange new girl that has the dirty job of executing criminals.  My new role is to be queen of the Bloody Kingdom.  Now I must work hard to protect my kingdom and family.  I pray to Enma I can do that!

Nice work, Requiem. That was aaaawesome and worth waiting

love your stories req, they are always so amazing.

This story are way too well writing. I would really love to see if this ever turned into a book at all. You have an awesome future Req, I bet you will turn to be a good author if you ever plan to be one.

RequiemHaunt : Ok, I've only gotten a chance to skim, so this is going to be a rough commentary.

Firstly, interesting story idea.

Now, the requested critique. I noticed a fair share of grammar and spelling errors, but that is common in first drafts. Your descriptions need work. You repeat words a lot, and a lot of your sentences could be combined into one. When dialogue is happening you just narrate it, and that takes away from the story. Do not narrate when you can describe, as it kinda ruins the flow. I realize it's a diary entry style, but you don't really treat it like that either. It's kind of a halfway between style that comes across as really odd. I mean, do you record verbatim conversations in your diary? Probably not. Does it being a diary serve a purpose other than allowing you to record the date? Because if not, you could easily ditch the "dear diary" part and just make this a straight first person narrative with very little rewriting.

Also, while it would be strange to totally break character and explain the background info of the world, you should probably do something to help the reader understand where this is, and what the hell is going on. You have a great opportunity to do that because Requiem has amnesia, so honestly, she shouldn't really know who these people are or where she is either.

On one of the forums I post in for a writing community they do peer editing. Now, I really don't think that would work 100% here because of the multi-chapter format, but I can take the first few paragraphs from your first chapter and try to show you what I mean by all this. I left your original words in, and used the Strikeout font on anything I felt should be cut, putting my suggestions in bright red so that you could compare the original to my edit. Obviously, if it is in strikeout font, pretend it isn't there.



Junuzi 15, Age of Morar 3

[Dear diary,Maybe toss?]

You are officially my new diary. I have not a clue if I had one before due to the fact that I have lost all of my memory. I only know myself since this morning. I will now tell you the events that have taken since this morning. This may be one of the strangest days of my life. I say 'may' because... well... I have no memory of events before this morning, so I cannot really be sure.

I awoke in the middle of a hot, and humid forest. I was, completely caked in dirt, blood, and sweat. Surprisingly there was a A violin lay next to me in perfect condition. It was made out of amazingly, its shiny rich, glossy red wood and stiff, but elegant silver strings in seemingly perfect condition. I noticed T the side of this violin had the word a gold engraving saying “Requiem” engraved on it's side in gold letters. On the other side of me my other side lay in exact perfect condition a I found the bow for the violin. The bow was made out of, crafted from the same material as the violin. When I picked the two items pieces of the instrument up, I felt a surge of power. I could of sworn it the two called to me to play them. and a burning desire to play, though I was not even sure if I knew how. (A violin and bow are considered one instrument, so referring to it as "them" instead of "it" is kinda strange)

I followed their command. My uncertainties vanished as I placed the violin beneath my chin and began to run the bow across those gleaming silver strings, my eyes closed to savor the beautiful sound. A range of melodies soared through the air. Those melodies ranged, ranging from happiness to an anger that overwhelmed me, and as I opened my eyes I watched in wonder at the violin's power it was as if they were showing me their capabilities. When the music started off my violin, the strings grew outward and danced in the air, becoming faster as the melody became harsher. Then wWhen the music reached it’s most unpleasant emotion the height of rage, the strings became ridged and started to quickly cut slash through the vegetation in a storm like of madness. As Fascinated, I let the storm continue until I saw noticed a man surrounded in a green aura, laughing. (Where is this man in relation to her?)

This man looked like he was doing all of the destruction(I am not sure what you mean by this. Is he literally causing the destruction around her instead of the violin, or does his appearance merely make him look like he was capable of such destruction? Or is it something else?). His wild short red hair, facial scar, and black eye patch made him look perfect for the part(Based on answer to previous note, this sentence could be altered and combined with the last one). In this mad man’s laughter he rambled on how I would be perfect. Now with all of my music I could not hear what exactly he thought I was perfect forAs he laughed with maniacal glee, the man said something about me being perfect; but with music of the violin filling my ears, I could not make out just what he thought I was perfect for. Before I could urge the music to stop so that I could question him, the man blew a blue cloud in my direction and I instantly passed out the world went dark.

RequiemHaunt : Nice story you should submit it to a publisher, but I did notice some grammar/spelling errors but, I know its hard to spell/grammar check after writing! Also to make it easier to spell/grammar-check use Microsoft Word!

Rating: 10/10!

now, i mabey a little young but this is amazing! i agree with falco dude 10/10 so far (i really cant wait to see the rest)  alos how many chapters do you think your going to make?