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10-13-19 03:13 PM

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xxeliza321xx
10-19-16 08:43 PM
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10-23-16 05:46 PM

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My crush didn't ask me questions when we were texting. Bad thing?

 

10-19-16 08:43 PM
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I mean, its not that he responds with just 1-2 words. It's just that we have been texting since like 2 pm today, with gaps of course, (now its almost 9 here) and he only asked me one question a couple of hours ago about something we were talking about. This is our first time really texting, but before I asked him for his number, he initiated a conversation with me on Facebook Messenger, when he was under NO obligation to do so, whatsoever, basically asking me about what I thought about what happened in class that day.

Like, for example, he recently replied to me saying:

''It's for nursing school, actually! I have to take microbio''

That's all he said, when he could have added on and asked me what MY plans are, post-college, right?

But he is good in person though. The other week, we were talking about not litering, since he noticed I accidentally left my plastic sushi tray under my desk, after class, I talked for a bit, and then he asked me if I've ever seen this movie about the environment.

He just hasn't done this via text often....

Should I take this as a sign of disinterest, honestly, or am I being too harsh and thinking about it too much? If I should stop wasting my time and energy with him, I will.
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10-19-16 09:03 PM
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Some people just suck at talking. And even if they're good at talking IRL, they might not be good digitally and vice versa.

For instance, I have to remind myself to reciprocate and be like "I'm fine, and you?" instead of just "I'm fine."

I wouldn't worry about if he's interested or not, live in the moment, live the dream, now is what matters, at least emotionally. The future is only for things that are necessary for survival such as college while future emotions and social interactions aren't something that you really need to think about.

tl;dr he probably just sucks at words, its best to accept what he's not good at so you can have a happy future together. Understanding and accepting each others shortcomings is a necessity for long-term or even short-term relationships.
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10-19-16 09:11 PM
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Yeah, guess you are right. Thanks
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10-19-16 09:12 PM
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If this was your first time having a long conversation through text, don't worry about it too much. Every one has off days, or maybe that's just how he texts in general. There's literally hundreds of reasons that could be why he wasn't responding with any questions just for one day.

If any thing, I would say just come right out and say you have a thing for him ( or at least make it blatantly obvious, though just between the two of you ), and gauge his reaction. It'd probably be best to do this in person, but it's entirely up to you and what you're comfortable with, if you decide to go through with it at all. I know it's easier said than done, but cutting straight to the chase could save you a lot of wasted time and effort if he's not willing to give you a chance in the first place.

I mean what's the worst case scenario here? He says no, and you're right where you started. But if he's into it, then every thing works out how you were wanting it to
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10-19-16 09:57 PM
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Mynamescox44 : Well, do you think that I was kinda obvious because of the fact that I asked him for his number, I tried a mobile game/app he told me about (and mentioned that I did so to him and told him what I thought about it), and that I asked him if he wanted to go for coffee with me on Saturday (which he took a second to think about and asked himself what he was going to do that day, but eventually said no to because of midterms, which I can understand because grades come before romantic partners IMO & maybe it was a bad time for me to ask because it's around midterms week here at my school)?

I think those 3 things make it obvious, but maybe that's just me?
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(edited by xxeliza321xx on 10-19-16 09:58 PM)    

10-19-16 10:04 PM
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Eh, that does seem pretty obvious when you put it like that lol. But then again, some guys ( like myself ) can be utterly oblivious for one reason or another, so it's hard to say when I've never actually met or spoke to the person.

If you're cool with it, I'd still go with just outright telling him that's what you're after. Like I said before, it'll avoid wasted time, and there's really nowhere to go but up.

Hope my advice was at least somewhat helpful
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10-19-16 10:13 PM
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Mynamescox44 : by "utterly obvious", do you mean actual flirting? I haven't done that yet, but I am not sure what you mean by that term in this context.
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10-20-16 05:17 AM
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Mynamescox44 : also, should I stress it because he never replied to my last text?
I said "Ah, okay. I see. Are you watching the debate? How is it? "
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10-20-16 05:30 AM
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As I've told you in the past, I think you are just overthinking everything again.

I'm a guy. When I text a girl I like, I don't always respond instantly. There are times I forget to respond for hours. It doesn't mean I'm not interested. It means I have a life that exists outside of my love life.

Honestly, I wouldn't be shocked if the reason your crush isn't asking questions is because, like me, he's s*** at asking questions. That's not how I generally get to know people. I am cool answering questions if they want to ask, because some people do learn better that way. I get to know people through organic, unforced conversation.

It also may be that he wants to ask you that question but feels lame pitching the same exact one back to you.

In the end, I don't think his not asking you questions matters a whole lot, provided you guys get along and enjoy each other's presence.

Just relax.
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10-20-16 06:19 AM
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xxeliza321xx :   Oh no. Don't be impatient. You can't hurry love. No. You'll just have to wait. Love don't come easy. It's a game of give and take.

 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

 Translation : The impatient will not find true love because they will force themselves in with who is wrong for them. The unkind will not find any lover will stay with them long and seldom will one wish to walk the same path with them. The jealous do not find love for they selfishly think just of what they do not have in their jealousy. Do not run your mouth about how you have a crush, got laid or got to whatever base. Do not think that others are lesser if they have not found it yet. [ That is a problem if it leads to a denigrated opinion of saving one's virginity. ] These behaviors are unbecoming of those who would otherwise be loved. Do not seek your own satisfaction. This is selfish. Seek the satisfaction of a beloved partner. That will bring you their love and ultimate satisfaction. Love cannot be provoked by seduction. No one may draw in a lover on seductive command. That would not be love and you would only beget something foul. A person you love is forgiven in but asking. If they really love you, they will respect your beliefs and not ask you to compromise them. [ This is a test you may put to any prospective suitor and it becomes unwise not to do so in environs which leave fools bitterly jilted and sorely spurned. ]  You will be honest with yourself and your other if you are really in love with them. When you truly love, you will go through any hardship for them no matter what it is. You will never cease to believe a single word they say. This is trust. You may not have secure relations without it. You will dream for everything with your true love. You would not truly love them if there were anything you wished to leave out of your union. [ This includes purity pre- and post-nuptial. No adultery. Were you to find purity unnecessary, true love it would not be. ]

  Love will endure. Anything short term was not real love. You say you were in love but it lasted a mere six years [and on and off at that, perhaps] ; there is no way that could be love or anything close to it that did more than pretend. That failed relationship. That was never love. Love would never fail. If it is meant to be, it happens. Be assured. You are not alone. Selfishness is the only thing that may hold you back from the love that is meant for you.

 They could have just said all that to explain. The words needed to be in the simplest terms understood at the time they were first scribed. After all, paper was a new and expensive commodity. Only so much space on those flimsy early papers.

 P3
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10-20-16 02:16 PM
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Postman3 : I like this post, but I am having trouble relating it to my situation....also, it's been almost a whole day and he hasn't gotten back to me yet...I only sent one text before I realized he was not going to reply, no double texting here.
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10-20-16 02:35 PM
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xxeliza321xx :   It does apply to you whether you know it or not.

 Love is patient  : The impatient will not find true love because they will force themselves in with who is wrong for them.

 If you want real love, be patient. Slow it down. Do not expect everything all at once or expect a person who could love you deeply to just be onto you like the flip of a light switch. If that was how a long passionate love affair began, the light switch could be flipped off just as easily. Take it slow to make something real and lasting possible even.

 If it is right, it may happen if you do no more than let it.

 If it is wrong, there is no way it can.

 I will let that sink in.


 You cannot really love someone who is wrong for you. You do not need to adamantly pursue someone not making themselves overtly available. Let some attention flow back to you by not being dogged in your pursuit. It does not matter if they clearly know whether you are interested or not. A person who really "wants" to be around you [not just for sex] will not give up so easily.

 A person behaving selfishly will abandon the effort to win your true affections if it takes longer than a few weeks after first interacting with you.

 I hope that makes things clearer and you see the wisdom in waiting until the time is correct.

 P3
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10-20-16 07:02 PM
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This is your first text with him so do not write him off yet. Some people do not like asking questions. I personally hate asking anything. I would rather it be laid at my feet,but that is unrealistic. Maybe he feels he does not know you well enough to ask any questions outside of your course work. Be patient.

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10-20-16 07:23 PM
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Sorry about that. I probably shouldn't have used "obvious" and "obLivious" ( L capitalized so it's easier to read ) so closely together.

I just meant some guys, or rather some people in general, can be really dense when it comes to noticing if someone actually likes them, or just enjoys interacting with them. I have misinterpreted other's affection for me more times than I can remember, which is part of what I was trying to convey.

Though I don't think there's any thing wrong with just being upfront with someone about having an attraction to them, as long as you handle the situation appropriately from there. Even if they end up being wrong for you, if meeting the right person is some thing that's "meant to be" as they say, then aren't the mistakes / other relationships along the way just part of that same Master Plan? It's like the lyrics to that one song saying "God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you" or some thing like that, but I think you get the point. 

But what I was getting at is the bad relationships have just as much of a place for personal growth as the good ones do. We learn what is compatible for ourselves, and learn how to handle the inevitable fights, low points, drama, etc that is part of any relationship no matter the quality. That's not to say you should jump into a bad relationship just because you can, but in the grand scheme of things they have their part to play.
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10-23-16 04:20 PM
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If I understand correctly, you guys are saying that I should sit back and if things are meant to happen with someone, they will?
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10-23-16 04:23 PM
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Mynamescox44 : so are you saying that things probably aren't totally obvious and clear that I like him that way unless I flirt or tell him I like him?
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10-23-16 05:46 PM
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Well, I'm not trying to say it's one way or the other. Every one here only has outside information to go on, all of which is just text being read. We've never met the guy, most of us probably don't know you personally or how you interact with someone you like, etc etc. The best we can do is just give vague advice from what you tell us, and let you handle it how you determine to be best.

Though I would agree one of the general points here is just sit back, relax, and take your time with the situation, you also shouldn't be afraid to handle it however you would without anyone's advice. If you're changing your natural behavior to try and lure someone in, it's possible that when you get comfortable enough to be yourself, the compatibility between you may be thrown off some what. The person who's right for you will accept you exactly how you are, without needing to ask anyone for advice how to handle things between you
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