Okay, so i'll start with a slight feeling of defeat when i realized my Spring break is ending up. To be very honest, i am learning to control my anger and psychical problems somewhere else than home. I have to sleep there, eat there. And that already since Christmas 2013, when my mother couldn't take me anymore. Now i'm about to leave there, but that is because i got to go to a similar place, somewhere closer to my home. I have a lot of friends when i was on that first place, which was just in Boxtel in the Netherlands. In Boxtel were a lot of people who became friends with me, one of them even became my best friend for life. Now i don't even want to think about how we need to go on, and it bothers me a lot. It also bothers me that people find me ugly because of my acne, or too smart because of my glasses. I know that that's meant as a good thing, being smart. But others say that in a negative way. It bothers me that people around me have no respect at all, even the adults who have to help us in Boxtel with learning how to control our psychical problems and stuff. I have the huge feeling i'm being mistaken over there, and that's why i am mostly here: To be who i am.
Also, i made a thread once here. 30% of me can understand why people may laugh to me because of that, but 70% of me can kill itself because of the stupid things i've done. And what thread am i talking about? https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=91663 That one. And that thread combined with the CookieHeroes7 situation we already spoke about give me as result: People laughing at me because of that. I'm acting so stupid lately. Maybe i AM stupid. I even started to get jealous when i saw a specific thread here that didn't gave me a comfortable feeling.

One more thing: I might be talking all kind of stupid things now, but in fact, i am literally fighting with myself, bullies and my shyness towards girls i love. I am serious here.

No one is meant to be insulted here.

MrBeingcool1 : it is good that your learning to control your anger and dealing with the physical problems your having in your life ... I'm sorryz to hear that your getting kicked out over a BS reason by your family and that everyone is being mean to you since no one deserves that

I used to have acne though that can be dealt with through medication and as for glasses I wear them too and I don't feelz any smarter then anyone else ya I was picked on for having them since teens can me extremely mean and pick on others for the slightest imperfections they see because most of them (not all of them) don't care how their actions effect others even if they make the person cry they might laugh at it and feel proud of themselves for hurting someone that badly ... and they always play stupid if confronted aboutz having hurt someone's feelings like 'oh I didn't know since they didn't say anything / or I didn't mean to hurt and upset them honest' which sadly is a complete lie to try and save themselves most of the time -.-# granted there are a few that genuinely mean that they weren't aware of how they were making the person feel though more often then not it is done on purpose out of sheer spite ... they'd rather be mean jerks and go along with everyone else then say 'hey what you all are doing is wrong and you need to stop it' which would then make them the new target to the torment ya it sounds terrible but that is the truth :/

I'll cover what I have some experience with. I hope this helps...

First of all, don't worry about the things you've done or what people think. You can go through life walking on egg shells for every step, and there will always be those who think they should laugh at you or look down on you. We're all just human and some of our personalities will clash regardless of our best efforts to avoid it. In a way it's actually a blessing, since it shows you right off the people you shouldn't care about in the first place. Generally those are the people who are insecure, and make themselves feel better by taking it out on someone else.
Think about it like this - How does what other people think really effect your life? I mean if a few people (and it's probably less than you think) look down on you or laugh at you, how does that effect your life in the long run? How does it effect you any more than you let it? It doesn't, and worrying over it is pointless. If anything, it'll only serve to make you a stronger individual and learn to separate what's important and what's not if you use it constructively over letting it break you down.
I know it's a cliché line, but don't give a f*** what the haters think, as that's all they are. You only give them more power by letting what they say or think get to you. And as I said earlier, it's probably not as many people as you think it is. Just because someone doesn't jump at the chance to cheer you up, doesn't mean they think any less of you.
As for the bully thing, the best advice I can give is fight back (if it's a physical problem). I'm not saying shoot them (or anyone else), but do whatever you can to defend yourself. If you can get it, pepper spray works wonders and won't get you in trouble for having it. Just be careful how you go about it so you don't get in trouble or REALLY hurt anyone.

And don't worry so much about being in a relationship. I hate using the line "at your age" since I remember how frustrating it can be to hear, so I'll refrain from using it. If you go out with the intentions of finding a relationship as soon as possible, you'll most likely rush into something that's not good for you. I know how bad you want it, really I do, but if you want these things to work out well you have to take your time with them. You need to focus on taking care of yourself, and the right girls will take notice of you when you are. Finding a partner in life won't make you any more happy, and trying to find someone to make you happy will only lead to disappointment, since it's something that comes from within.
If the girls you like are online only relationships, that's even more of a reason to keep yourself from getting attached. It won't be the same as spending time with girls in person, and could possibly make it even more nerve wracking to do so. Besides, you should get to enjoy having real dates with girls, and know what it's like to actually be with the person you like.