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09-18-19 02:39 AM

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NordicWarrior
06-15-15 05:02 PM
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jlove92
11-10-15 02:15 PM

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Which girl do I choose?

 

10-11-15 10:52 PM
Yuna1000 is Offline
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Hm… This really makes me wonder, what is it about your current girlfriend that you really love? Will you still love those qualities about her once you’re married to her? And if things go from bad to worse, would you still be able to stick by her side? If you can think through these questions on your own, then you will be able to find the answers you seek.

I’m inclined to think you basically answered your own question when you said you wouldn’t be able to tolerate being with your girlfriend for certain reasons, but you didn’t mention why you’re willing to stay with her if you think of her as being intolerable. If you’re not even married yet and you already can’t tolerate certain things about her, then it’s probably not a good idea to go any further with your relationship. The reasoning is that marriage usually makes things better or worse, and if you can’t tolerate the things that can potentially get worse even before marriage, then it’s unlikely you’ll be able to tolerate it either after marriage. This is not saying that having her take medication to help with her bipolar issues will not work, but if you have no faith in her now, then it’s probably better for you to not stay with her, both for your own sake and for hers.

As for the other girl, it does appear to be a leap of faith when you haven’t really met her or know her well enough to know whether or not she “has all the issues that your current girlfriend has.” If you are really interested in this new girl, then it’s probably best to take some time to get to know her as well too, in case she is also not what you thought she was. I say this because people tend to have certain ideals when it comes to looking for a significant other, and thus, it’s not unthinkable that they will end up choosing the same type of people over and over when looking for someone new.

Ultimately, this is your decision to make, but remember there are some things in life that you will never be in control of. In other words, don’t think you can change a person with a relationship or marriage. Usually, for a relationship to work well, there needs to be mutual understanding and trust, and your partner has to be willing to work with you on making life better for the two of you out of their own free will. Otherwise, the relationship will probably just keep looping back to square one.

Anyways, good luck with your decisions!
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10-11-15 10:55 PM
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It really comes down to who you really feel love around. Happiness is the deciding factor, and I'd dare to say it's really as simple as that.

I've never been faced with this decision truth be told, but I wish you luck with this!
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10-12-15 06:04 AM
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You truly love your current girlfriend but you're afraid of a future with her, you're afraid to be together in real life, she's dumped you three times for other guys, and she takes out all her anger on you regularly.

That sounds like love to me.

Instead of trying to have a girlfriend by breaking up with one and talking to another, why not just enjoy being yourself and not worrying about any special relationship?  How about keep talking to the other girl who seems interesting but don't dive into some kind of 'boyfriend/girlfriend' thing?

And with the first girl, do what you will, but I always believe if something is fun, keep doing it and if it isn't fun, make a change.
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10-12-15 09:20 AM
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NordicWarrior : Ghostbear has good advice. One thing: DON'T get anyone pregnant and it'll work out. In situations like yours I ask myself WWKDD? 'what would King Diamond do?' Don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Love's not worth it. Not that kind anyways. Rock on bro.
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10-12-15 11:59 AM
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choose the girl that your heart leads you to
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11-01-15 03:37 PM
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Honestly if you're girlfriend is making you feel this way, you probably should leave or at least bring up what is bothering you and say "look, you need to change these things not because i don't like them but because they're hurting me and bringing me down." Tell her how you feel. If she really loves you, she'll understand, but the fact she's left you before for other people? I dunno if she really does... 

Long distance relationships can be wonderful, even when you share them with someone on a different continent. Currently, my boyfriend lives in Indiana and I live in Tennessee. We met up not too long ago (about two weeks ago) and shared an even stronger bond in person than over the internet. I have a friend who is dating a man in New Zealand and she lives in Arizona. They're happy together too. It's about major communication and being honest with one another. 

Perhaps you should break up with this girl and give yourself time to recover. Take some time and evaluate what you want from a partner, your standards, and what you're willing to negotiate and what you aren't. When you figure those things out, it's much easier to pick a partner and decide if you should be with them or not. 
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11-10-15 12:08 PM
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I was once in your shoes and I choose the bad answer, I just didn't wanna hurt her cause of how long we been together and she started to be more abusive and then we got married and she almost killed me lots of times.... divorced now but the point is don't be worried to break your girlfriends heart and make yours better its life it will go on if she has left you for 3 guys different times it just means shes just not in love with you like you are and you don't want to live in mental pain wondering when is she going to dump you next or if she will physically beat you or something. if you like this new girl go after her .
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11-10-15 02:15 PM
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If you were that into her you wouldn't ask yourself this question. I understand where you're coming from and let me tell you from experience that what you feel is not as much as it is love as it is "attachment." You get to know someone for so long you become emotionally attached to that person whether it is face to face or long distance. I suggest that you break up or take a break and allow yourself time to get to know this other person. Why? Because you already know exactly what to expect from your current relationship and unfortunately is not good so, staying there and letting a good possible opportunity/experience pass you by will have you wonder what if. I say go for it and don't accept anything less than what you want and desire from a relationship. 
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(edited by jlove92 on 11-10-15 02:15 PM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jnisol,

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