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NovemberJoy
01-25-15 02:42 PM
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NovemberJoy
01-25-15 02:42 PM
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Programmed by an actual barbarian

 
Game's Ratings
Overall
Graphics
Sound
Addictiveness
Depth
Story
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Average User Score
4.6
2
4.5
1
2.5
1
7.5
NovemberJoy's Score
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1
3
1
2
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8

01-25-15 02:42 PM
NovemberJoy is Offline
| ID: 1129669 | 887 Words

NovemberJoy
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How hard could it possibly be to make a game out of Conan the Barbarian? All you would have to do is make a clone of Rastan. You'd have to screw up pretty badly for that game to be as terrible as this one. But, instead of doing that, they took another game called "Myth:History in the Making" that was originally for the Commodore 64 and made their own version for the NES. The best part about this is that Myth is a better game in every possible way, even with the limitations of the C64 hardware.

This is one of those games where you really can judge it by its cover - the graphics look absolutely horrible. There are never more than about four, five, maybe six colors on the screen at the same time, and they're the ugliest color choices possible. The graphics themselves would look ugly even if they were colored well. Conan himself is the best looking thing in the game, and he doesn't look that great. Actually, he looks kind of small and puny - nothing like a barbarian. Also, nothing like Conan. Basically everything that isn't a sprite is so blocky that it would barely pass on the Commodore 64, much less the NES.

The sound is probably the best part of the game, and it's not very good. The music sounds like it's being played through a tin can, and doesn't even come close to using the capabilities of the NES's sound chip. The sound effects are no better - the sound that happens every time you get hit sounds like someone slapping at a puddle of water, and a horrible grinding sound plays every time you hit something with the sword. It's just unpleasant to listen to.

So how could they have ruined the gameplay of a game based on Conan? For starters, they gave it the most broken, backwards controls imaginable. The game has a lot of platforming elements, so the first thing is to figure out how to jump. A and B are both for different attacks, so you have to push up to jump. That's bad already, but guess what happens when you push down? It jumps. And it's not just a little hop, either - it's a huge, flying leap that can easily throw you off the edge of a platform. This is one of those games where you have to crouch to pick up items, so how do you crouch? It's obviously not down, because that does a flying leap forward. You have to hold down the A button and push down to crouch. You'd think that a playtester would've pointed out how awful the control is, but that would require common sense.

Combat is a major part of this game - and it's mostly just mindless button-mashing. There's basically no strategy, and the hit detection is so atrocious that any kind of strategy that isn't button mashing won't work because your attacks won't register properly. It's really easy to get stun-locked by enemies so that they'll hit you and knock you back so your attacks miss, and then while you're recovering, they'll run up and hit you again. This gets very annoying very quickly.

The game honestly isn't that hard to get through - the most difficult part of the game is finding out what you're supposed to do. For example, to beat the first level of the game, you have to kill skeletons and imps until you get a sword and a fireball. Then, you have to use the sword to cut down a skeleton that hangs from the ceiling. Then, you have to wait for a fabulous purple Devil to appear so you can destroy him with the fireballs and grab his pitchfork so you can destroy the boss. Now, how would you figure that out without some kind of hint? And it's not just this level, either - almost every level in the game has some kind of puzzle that you have to guess at. The second level has a lady that turns into a snake and kills you instantly if you walk past her - unless you attack her and hit her enough times, and then she'll just disappear when you walk past her.

Platforming is difficult, as well, since anything that hits you in midair will destroy all of your momentum and cause you to fall like a rock. It's really annoying to attempt a jump and then have an imp hit you in the middle of your jump and cause you to fall into a pit. If that's not enough, there's also parts of the background that look like you can jump on them, but you can't. It gets really stupid in the sixth level, where there's an entire castle that you'll just fall right through if you try to jump on it.

To be honest, I don't see how this game ever got Nintendo's seal of approval. They're supposed to provide quality control, but can you really say that when they let a broken, incredibly ugly game with terrible controls onto their console? At the very least, there is one good thing about this:it's the only game that the developers, System 3, have ever made.

Rating - 0.1 programmers out of a job out of 10
How hard could it possibly be to make a game out of Conan the Barbarian? All you would have to do is make a clone of Rastan. You'd have to screw up pretty badly for that game to be as terrible as this one. But, instead of doing that, they took another game called "Myth:History in the Making" that was originally for the Commodore 64 and made their own version for the NES. The best part about this is that Myth is a better game in every possible way, even with the limitations of the C64 hardware.

This is one of those games where you really can judge it by its cover - the graphics look absolutely horrible. There are never more than about four, five, maybe six colors on the screen at the same time, and they're the ugliest color choices possible. The graphics themselves would look ugly even if they were colored well. Conan himself is the best looking thing in the game, and he doesn't look that great. Actually, he looks kind of small and puny - nothing like a barbarian. Also, nothing like Conan. Basically everything that isn't a sprite is so blocky that it would barely pass on the Commodore 64, much less the NES.

The sound is probably the best part of the game, and it's not very good. The music sounds like it's being played through a tin can, and doesn't even come close to using the capabilities of the NES's sound chip. The sound effects are no better - the sound that happens every time you get hit sounds like someone slapping at a puddle of water, and a horrible grinding sound plays every time you hit something with the sword. It's just unpleasant to listen to.

So how could they have ruined the gameplay of a game based on Conan? For starters, they gave it the most broken, backwards controls imaginable. The game has a lot of platforming elements, so the first thing is to figure out how to jump. A and B are both for different attacks, so you have to push up to jump. That's bad already, but guess what happens when you push down? It jumps. And it's not just a little hop, either - it's a huge, flying leap that can easily throw you off the edge of a platform. This is one of those games where you have to crouch to pick up items, so how do you crouch? It's obviously not down, because that does a flying leap forward. You have to hold down the A button and push down to crouch. You'd think that a playtester would've pointed out how awful the control is, but that would require common sense.

Combat is a major part of this game - and it's mostly just mindless button-mashing. There's basically no strategy, and the hit detection is so atrocious that any kind of strategy that isn't button mashing won't work because your attacks won't register properly. It's really easy to get stun-locked by enemies so that they'll hit you and knock you back so your attacks miss, and then while you're recovering, they'll run up and hit you again. This gets very annoying very quickly.

The game honestly isn't that hard to get through - the most difficult part of the game is finding out what you're supposed to do. For example, to beat the first level of the game, you have to kill skeletons and imps until you get a sword and a fireball. Then, you have to use the sword to cut down a skeleton that hangs from the ceiling. Then, you have to wait for a fabulous purple Devil to appear so you can destroy him with the fireballs and grab his pitchfork so you can destroy the boss. Now, how would you figure that out without some kind of hint? And it's not just this level, either - almost every level in the game has some kind of puzzle that you have to guess at. The second level has a lady that turns into a snake and kills you instantly if you walk past her - unless you attack her and hit her enough times, and then she'll just disappear when you walk past her.

Platforming is difficult, as well, since anything that hits you in midair will destroy all of your momentum and cause you to fall like a rock. It's really annoying to attempt a jump and then have an imp hit you in the middle of your jump and cause you to fall into a pit. If that's not enough, there's also parts of the background that look like you can jump on them, but you can't. It gets really stupid in the sixth level, where there's an entire castle that you'll just fall right through if you try to jump on it.

To be honest, I don't see how this game ever got Nintendo's seal of approval. They're supposed to provide quality control, but can you really say that when they let a broken, incredibly ugly game with terrible controls onto their console? At the very least, there is one good thing about this:it's the only game that the developers, System 3, have ever made.

Rating - 0.1 programmers out of a job out of 10
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-24-11
Last Post: 755 days
Last Active: 661 days

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