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03-28-24 10:08 AM

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Thread
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the protoman
06-01-14 12:05 PM
Last
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Patrick Star
06-09-14 06:33 PM
Rating
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Lestah the unlikeleh...... You know what I mean!!!

 
Game's Ratings
Overall
Graphics
Sound
Addictiveness
Depth
Story
Difficulty
Average User Score
4.7
6
4
3.4
4.4
4.2
8.4
the protoman's Score
6.5
7
4
5
5
5
10

06-01-14 12:05 PM
the protoman is Offline
| ID: 1028757 | 870 Words

the protoman
Level: 21

POSTS: 73/78
POST EXP: 6137
LVL EXP: 45544
CP: 653.9
VIZ: 27199

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
hello, my dear friends! I know you have been waiting for me! For a long, long time....
Or not, really, I am not that famous.
so, nothing creepy today, instead, something crappy....

Anyway, I'm back, and ready to review. And, I played this for a while, and I think I am going to review how horrible this is...

YAAAAAAYYY.......

Let's do it , why don't we. Okay, so there is a little boy with a comic book, he walks, gets sleepy and.... Oh my god, I have not fate in this character already. He decides to sleep on a pile of boxes on a crane. The crane lifts it to a ship, and the boy (LESTER OBVIOUSLY!) is taken on the ship.
I wonder what his parents were thinking he was doing.

"Honey, Lester hasn't been home in a few weeks now."
"Probably still in the city! Don't worry!".

Yeah, that seems like a good explanation to what they thought.... Anyway, the ship gets raided by pirates, and Lester swims to a deserted island. Hmmm......

BEST IDEA YET!!!!

So, on this island, he makes a trip for no apparent reason. He also doesn't remember how he got there....
YOU SWAM TO AN ISLAND 10 SECONDS AGO, HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT!?!?!???
I swear this guy is a fish....

So, I want Lester to move (He has one of the most.... emberassing walks ever in video game history....), but suddenly he stops, and shakes his head, as he talks to me!

"No!"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NO!"?! Just walk, you coward! I try and jump, but it feels so bad... This guy reminds me of marlton from CALL OF DUTY, but without the guns.... Which would mean, a dumb ass that likes to think of himself as a bad ass...
So, looking at it like this... Somebody get me someone who can do math...

Lester =< Marlton= Geek = dumb ass the bad ass!!!! I guess.....
That's the formul- WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFRICKEDY DONGO'S!?!??

Lester stops, and starts air humping for no reason! WHY? Why did he do that? What did the programmers think?!
"Um, let's make Lester hump the air, because we're perverts, hahaha !"

So, I try and kick a crab. Guess what Lester does? This should've been his reaction, if he could talk...

"OH MY GOD, A CRAB! WHAT THE HELL!?! I CAN EASILY KICK IT, AND THE PLAYER WANTS ME TO MOVE TO IT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO HIM, SO WHAT DO I DO? I RUN AWAY FROM THE CRAB, COMPLETELY DISOBEYING THE PLAYERS ACIONS, WHY? BECAUSE I DON'T CARE, AND KIDS WILL SPEND MONEY ON THIS GAME ANYWAY!!!! TROLOLOLOLOL!!!".

It makes me mad! It makes me look like this!
Lester is a troll!  So, anyway, I try to keep moving, oh, and by the way, you have to sneak up on your enemies.
Lester seems to disobey you whenever he wants. Have you ever had sonic look at you, and say "Hey, man, you want to spin dash? Course you want to spindash, you want to spindash, yeah, you want to spindash, you want to spindash...... Well, screw that, I will just walk away from the goal!".



so much tears! How, why?!?!

Wait, is that an eagle? What is it doing? NO, EAGLE! NO! NOOOOOOO!

Okay, so I am back at the beginning.
fun, right?

*sigh*

CODE!
So, I type in a code, and go to the next stage (Not really, I finished the stage all over again). Here is where it get's terrible! There are bats flying around, I AM being murdered, I can't fall from too high, and I can't make any short cuts, because, well, I fall!!! Lester dies, and dies, and dies! I am game over... Okay, that's it, end of the review I guess!

....

....

....

GAH, okay, I'll keep going! I finish the first stage all over again, and find out I have to use a crystal to burn the door down! YES! Stage number 3 in this unholy game! Back outside, doing the same loops all over again.
This game doesn't have many secrets either.  though the graphics aren't half bad. Wait, WHAT?!?
Now Lester is afraid of tiki's?! What a coward! Look at him! AARGH! This character shoud never get a sequel.
Believe me, there were games with similar mechanics, but this one is just bad! What the heck! There are no secret spells, or magic powers, or hidden guns, so I have to avoid stuff!
The bad way!

Outlast had a way you had to avoid enemies. and it worked, but this... sssshhhh...
Stuff it.
Let's just have a look at the ending. Lester has found some natives, who tell him he can go back with a surf board, because they don't have cellular phones (How would they even know what a cellular phone is, AND WHY DO THEY HAVE A SURF BOARD?!?!). So, Lester surfs back to his house.

Wait, what?!?

Lester has turned into an adult, and is telling 2 "hot babes" about his adventures! What?!?! They're even enjoying the story, and are begging for more! I don't know how  you can enjoy this story, but if YOU can.....

then you're nuts.....


hello, my dear friends! I know you have been waiting for me! For a long, long time....
Or not, really, I am not that famous.
so, nothing creepy today, instead, something crappy....

Anyway, I'm back, and ready to review. And, I played this for a while, and I think I am going to review how horrible this is...

YAAAAAAYYY.......

Let's do it , why don't we. Okay, so there is a little boy with a comic book, he walks, gets sleepy and.... Oh my god, I have not fate in this character already. He decides to sleep on a pile of boxes on a crane. The crane lifts it to a ship, and the boy (LESTER OBVIOUSLY!) is taken on the ship.
I wonder what his parents were thinking he was doing.

"Honey, Lester hasn't been home in a few weeks now."
"Probably still in the city! Don't worry!".

Yeah, that seems like a good explanation to what they thought.... Anyway, the ship gets raided by pirates, and Lester swims to a deserted island. Hmmm......

BEST IDEA YET!!!!

So, on this island, he makes a trip for no apparent reason. He also doesn't remember how he got there....
YOU SWAM TO AN ISLAND 10 SECONDS AGO, HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT!?!?!???
I swear this guy is a fish....

So, I want Lester to move (He has one of the most.... emberassing walks ever in video game history....), but suddenly he stops, and shakes his head, as he talks to me!

"No!"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NO!"?! Just walk, you coward! I try and jump, but it feels so bad... This guy reminds me of marlton from CALL OF DUTY, but without the guns.... Which would mean, a dumb ass that likes to think of himself as a bad ass...
So, looking at it like this... Somebody get me someone who can do math...

Lester =< Marlton= Geek = dumb ass the bad ass!!!! I guess.....
That's the formul- WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFRICKEDY DONGO'S!?!??

Lester stops, and starts air humping for no reason! WHY? Why did he do that? What did the programmers think?!
"Um, let's make Lester hump the air, because we're perverts, hahaha !"

So, I try and kick a crab. Guess what Lester does? This should've been his reaction, if he could talk...

"OH MY GOD, A CRAB! WHAT THE HELL!?! I CAN EASILY KICK IT, AND THE PLAYER WANTS ME TO MOVE TO IT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO HIM, SO WHAT DO I DO? I RUN AWAY FROM THE CRAB, COMPLETELY DISOBEYING THE PLAYERS ACIONS, WHY? BECAUSE I DON'T CARE, AND KIDS WILL SPEND MONEY ON THIS GAME ANYWAY!!!! TROLOLOLOLOL!!!".

It makes me mad! It makes me look like this!
Lester is a troll!  So, anyway, I try to keep moving, oh, and by the way, you have to sneak up on your enemies.
Lester seems to disobey you whenever he wants. Have you ever had sonic look at you, and say "Hey, man, you want to spin dash? Course you want to spindash, you want to spindash, yeah, you want to spindash, you want to spindash...... Well, screw that, I will just walk away from the goal!".



so much tears! How, why?!?!

Wait, is that an eagle? What is it doing? NO, EAGLE! NO! NOOOOOOO!

Okay, so I am back at the beginning.
fun, right?

*sigh*

CODE!
So, I type in a code, and go to the next stage (Not really, I finished the stage all over again). Here is where it get's terrible! There are bats flying around, I AM being murdered, I can't fall from too high, and I can't make any short cuts, because, well, I fall!!! Lester dies, and dies, and dies! I am game over... Okay, that's it, end of the review I guess!

....

....

....

GAH, okay, I'll keep going! I finish the first stage all over again, and find out I have to use a crystal to burn the door down! YES! Stage number 3 in this unholy game! Back outside, doing the same loops all over again.
This game doesn't have many secrets either.  though the graphics aren't half bad. Wait, WHAT?!?
Now Lester is afraid of tiki's?! What a coward! Look at him! AARGH! This character shoud never get a sequel.
Believe me, there were games with similar mechanics, but this one is just bad! What the heck! There are no secret spells, or magic powers, or hidden guns, so I have to avoid stuff!
The bad way!

Outlast had a way you had to avoid enemies. and it worked, but this... sssshhhh...
Stuff it.
Let's just have a look at the ending. Lester has found some natives, who tell him he can go back with a surf board, because they don't have cellular phones (How would they even know what a cellular phone is, AND WHY DO THEY HAVE A SURF BOARD?!?!). So, Lester surfs back to his house.

Wait, what?!?

Lester has turned into an adult, and is telling 2 "hot babes" about his adventures! What?!?! They're even enjoying the story, and are begging for more! I don't know how  you can enjoy this story, but if YOU can.....

then you're nuts.....


Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 04-09-12
Location: ????
Last Post: 3465 days
Last Active: 3104 days

06-09-14 01:39 PM
lilythetigerkity is Offline
| ID: 1033365 | 16 Words

Level: 35


POSTS: 92/263
POST EXP: 15761
LVL EXP: 256255
CP: 2922.9
VIZ: 122455

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Great review but way too much caps. You can explain your excitement without yelling so much.
Great review but way too much caps. You can explain your excitement without yelling so much.
Vizzed Elite
Peachy


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-10-14
Location: NY
Last Post: 3248 days
Last Active: 2127 days

06-09-14 06:33 PM
Patrick Star is Offline
| ID: 1033577 | 41 Words

Patrick Star
awesomeguy279
Level: 82


POSTS: 1078/1910
POST EXP: 84574
LVL EXP: 5154320
CP: 8533.9
VIZ: 200280

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Great review but I would suggest spreading it in to categories such as graphics. Like this.
 
 Graphics:
 Words you want here.
 
 Other than that this review was good but next time do not be so drastic and lay off the caps.
Great review but I would suggest spreading it in to categories such as graphics. Like this.
 
 Graphics:
 Words you want here.
 
 Other than that this review was good but next time do not be so drastic and lay off the caps.
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-19-13
Location: on a chair
Last Post: 755 days
Last Active: 87 days

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