Today is my 5 year anniversary!

I've been married for 5 years! Officially I got married later in the day but it's close enough .

I can't believe it's been 5 years. I'll have a 1 year old daughter in under 2 weeks as well! Crazy stuff!

That's all really

Congratulations, now days it's a real accomplishment to be married that long with every other person getting a divorce

I can't believe your daughter will be 1 year old already, wow does time fly. Seems like only months ago you broke the news to us that you were a Dad.

You doing anything special for your anniversary besides the obvious?

not any plans for today... we've got a busy weekend and half of next week so we're going to actually celebrate sometime later next week.

Of course we're having a few smaller celebrations.... stuff you alluded to. Obviously . But the real celebration will be next week.

Congrats! Looks like this month is full of celebrations for ya. First your Anniversary, then Gabby is turning 1 year old. Congrats again!

Congrats Geeo, 5 years is a long time to be married nowdays.

yeah, and we were young when we got married. 21 and 20 (I was 21).... so according to most people and statistics we shouldn't have lasted this long. But we'll prove them all wrong!

I hope you can. I've seen for myself how young relationships like that don't last. Congratulations to you and your wife. Make those "smaller celebrations" good one. Got any tips to give everybody here so they can have a healthy relationship?

heh... well, there are a lot of things I could suggest... and when I say spouse I mean the person that you are involved with. You don't have to be married for these ideas to help.

1. Marry someone that you are 80% or so compatable with. Don't bother looking for the "perfect" person. Make sure the big things are agreed upon or known about early on (religion, kids, finances, politics, career aspirations, etc) and then if the little things don't mesh you can figure those out as you go but they won't be deal breakers. Make sure you're truthful from the get go. It's easier to break up with someone because they can't handle that you did something when you were younger early on than having them find out about it 6 months or more into marriage and end up getting divorced.

2. Honesty. I can't stress this enough! You are far better off being honest and just admitting to things right away than trying to hide stuff and lying to the other person. This creates trust issues in the relationship which are hard to recover from.

3. Talk about money. And talk about it a lot. Make sure you both know what is going on with the finances. Make sure you have budget. Make sure you have a set limit on what either person can spend without consulting the other. Finances are usually a big problem.

4. Don't cheat. EVER. And I don't just mean sleeping with other people. I mean, chat rooms, porn, being too friendly with members of the opposite sex at work etc. Anything that cultivates a strong relationship with someone other than your spouse is cheating. That's not to say you shouldn't have friends but that you shouldn't want to spend time with other people more than your spouse.

5. On the other hand you need to have friends (of your gender) that you can spend time with. You can't, and shouldn't, spend all of your time with your spouse. You do need a break once in a while to "be a guy" or "to go shopping" etc etc. And some people really like alone time. You just need to make sure both people in the couple know how much time you should reasonably spend together.

6. Set goals. Doesn't really matter what they are but accomplish things together. Whether it is getting through school, buying a house, running a marathon, learning how to do something.... find some goal that you can work together towards accompishing.

7. Don't yell unless someone is bleeding or the place you live is on fire. Otherwise you're probably just putting the person that you are yelling at down. Fights happen in relationships. I've had them and you will have them eventually. The worst thing you can do in a fight is yell things you don't mean just to hurt the other person. It's not worth it in the end to be right if the other person won't talk to you anymore. You're better off either taking a "time out" to calm down or taking turns talking or whatever you have to do to not yell. No matter what anyone else tells you.... yelling at your spouse is not healthy. There are no benefits for doing so. Simple as that.

That's all I can think of for now. There are a lot of things you can do that can help or hurt your relationship... too many to list but I think my list is at least somewhat good .

Nice list geo!!! How about jealousy though, that seems to be a big issue in relationships. Have you ever noticed your wife looking at another man or flirting in a way that got you mad? It's happened a few times to me just wondering if you have ever experienced it at all and how you overcome it if it's happened to you

"4. Don't cheat. EVER. And I don't just mean sleeping with other people. I mean, chat rooms, porn, being too friendly with members of the opposite sex at work etc. Anything that cultivates a strong relationship with someone other than your spouse is cheating. That's not to say you shouldn't have friends but that you shouldn't want to spend time with other people more than your spouse."


To me, cheating is a deal breaker. Sure, when I say deal breaker I am refering to sex (or sex related activities ).

If you are in a serious relationship then there should be no need for flirting. There is a difference between being friendly and flirting and I think we all know what it is. Don't cross the line. And if the "spouse" crosses the line then talk to them. If they are understanding they will try to stop. If they tell you it's no big deal then you might be better off moving on to someone who is commited to you only

I consider myself knowledgeable when it comes to relationships. You are exactly right about the advice you gave. But two of them stand out more so, and are the biggest influences: Honest and finances. As you said, you need to be honest early on in the relationship. It really doesn't help when your SO is constantly doubting you about something. It can at times make him or her feel uneasy about you during certain times.

Financial health is one that you will know if a relationship is going to stay good. Again, as geeogree said, talk about your money. Discuss what you two plan to do with it. Make sure both people understand how important money is and ESPECIALLY learn how to manage it. I can't tell you how much better life is when you know how to manage your money Believe it or not, about half of breakups/divorces have money as the source. For those of you who read the bible money is mentioned several times throughout the book. You don't need me to tell you that if it's in the bible it must be pretty important.

Another thing geeo mentioned- setting goals. I also strongly believe in this, but in a different way. To me, marriage is about combining two lives into one. Whether you believe it or not, the two of you represent a single entity. You are a team. As such, you should do things together. A lot. Too often people get married and then become bored with each other after time because they either sit around doing nothing or they're not around each other much. What you need to do is come up with activities. Anything. It can be a small thing, or a big thing, but you'll want to make it last a while so that the two of you are working together in unison for a long time.
What brings people closer together is when they get through, overcome or accomplish something together. Setting goals and accomplishments are just one way of doing it. So is running a business together. Do some fun things. Trying to learn a language together for fun. Create a theme for your house and build on it- whether it be a rock 'n roll theme or a magical forest theme. Read a book to each other in the car while driving. Make an effort to go to the gym to build sexy bodies for each other to look at in bed. Whatever it is that can involve two people, do it.

I like the list geeo, also congrats on the anniversary and a happy birthday for your daughter as well.

There's one thing that sorta annoys me.
People who mistake being polite for flirting. This happens to me quite a bit, i'll be polite and then the other person will think I'm flirting becuase I'm helping out or just saying nice comments with no intention of flirting.