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xxeliza321xx
01-29-14 09:09 PM
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Too shy to say hi to people I barely know. Normal? Help?

 

01-29-14 09:09 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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People I barely know, such as mere classmates.

I usually just walk by them in the hall unless they say hi to me first because I'm too shy.
They may or may not see me themselves.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm an upper freshmen college student with lots of friends, but those were mostly from highly interactive classes in which everyone got to know each other and my school's online Facebook groups and my People You May Know page on Facebook.

Is this normal?
Do you face this too?
How can I overcome this?
People I barely know, such as mere classmates.

I usually just walk by them in the hall unless they say hi to me first because I'm too shy.
They may or may not see me themselves.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm an upper freshmen college student with lots of friends, but those were mostly from highly interactive classes in which everyone got to know each other and my school's online Facebook groups and my People You May Know page on Facebook.

Is this normal?
Do you face this too?
How can I overcome this?
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01-29-14 09:11 PM
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Hi, yeah I had and continue to have that problem sometimes. However, I am extremely shy because I am Autistic so I'm not good at social situations. But I still try to be social. My advice would be to just try, maybe try to find people who have similar interests in you. 
Hi, yeah I had and continue to have that problem sometimes. However, I am extremely shy because I am Autistic so I'm not good at social situations. But I still try to be social. My advice would be to just try, maybe try to find people who have similar interests in you. 
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01-29-14 09:58 PM
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I'd say it's pretty normal.

There are a lot of reasons not being able to talk openly with strangers, from general shy-ness,lack of confidence to speak up, poor social skills, anxiety,etc. I'm the introverted character, finding I generally don't speak openly to a lot of people because I find it hard to socializing is pretty hard for me to do (I have nothing to talk about with anyone thus I don't really engage or see the reason to socialize with a lot of people).

Best thing to overcome it? Fake "extroverted-ness" until you make it. Step out of your comfort zone and just speak up. If you do something that seems silly, don't worry about it. It's just a moment of learning. A lot of people do awkward things and goof up in general (socially), but if you don't let it get to you and just be yourself (or someone you want to be) you'll be fine.
I'd say it's pretty normal.

There are a lot of reasons not being able to talk openly with strangers, from general shy-ness,lack of confidence to speak up, poor social skills, anxiety,etc. I'm the introverted character, finding I generally don't speak openly to a lot of people because I find it hard to socializing is pretty hard for me to do (I have nothing to talk about with anyone thus I don't really engage or see the reason to socialize with a lot of people).

Best thing to overcome it? Fake "extroverted-ness" until you make it. Step out of your comfort zone and just speak up. If you do something that seems silly, don't worry about it. It's just a moment of learning. A lot of people do awkward things and goof up in general (socially), but if you don't let it get to you and just be yourself (or someone you want to be) you'll be fine.
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01-30-14 05:16 PM
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Thank you guys!
Thank you guys!
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01-30-14 05:18 PM
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Get a job that requires you to talk to people. Iv had to work several and its built my social skills to no end. The moneys just a plus really
Get a job that requires you to talk to people. Iv had to work several and its built my social skills to no end. The moneys just a plus really
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01-30-14 08:13 PM
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Oh yeah, I have that problem. Especially if it is a "cool" kid or a girl. A lot of times I just think to myself "Just pretend it is your friend" and it works. Good luck!
Oh yeah, I have that problem. Especially if it is a "cool" kid or a girl. A lot of times I just think to myself "Just pretend it is your friend" and it works. Good luck!
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01-30-14 09:04 PM
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All you need to do is imagine you're seeing a family member when you're looking at or talking to a new person. That will definitely help you get started and after some practice, socializing will get easier. 

This trick can be used for most shyness problems. There are people we aren't shy around and people who we are. 

Say a boy was shy of talking to girls. He would just imagine he's talking to his best friend or a boy acquaintance he doesn't know very well. And vice versa. 

It's a highly effective technique if you give it a shot.
All you need to do is imagine you're seeing a family member when you're looking at or talking to a new person. That will definitely help you get started and after some practice, socializing will get easier. 

This trick can be used for most shyness problems. There are people we aren't shy around and people who we are. 

Say a boy was shy of talking to girls. He would just imagine he's talking to his best friend or a boy acquaintance he doesn't know very well. And vice versa. 

It's a highly effective technique if you give it a shot.
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01-30-14 09:24 PM
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xxeliza321xx : yes this is normal i guess. and this happens to me all the time. the way to overcome this is to think that the person is one fo your friends and say hi casualy as you would with your friends
xxeliza321xx : yes this is normal i guess. and this happens to me all the time. the way to overcome this is to think that the person is one fo your friends and say hi casualy as you would with your friends
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02-01-14 12:32 AM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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Thanks guys!!!
I said hi to the person I wanted to say hi to today after class today and I think it went well!!!

But I have ANOTHER problem:

There's this girl who I used to like (Girl A; yes, I'm bisexual) from middle school. Long story short, it got beyond obvious that I liked her and it creeped her out. I sent her a polite apology (I knew it was good since I re-read it multiple times and also had a couple of friends read it over and edit it!!!) fairly recently on Facebook, since we do not see each other face to face anymore. She blocked me, so I know she rejected the apology!!!

I've been able to forget about her UNTIL now because a new semester began at my college last week and a girl with the same name (Girl B) sits next to me in a class I have!!!

I do not want to transfer out of the class because I don't want to have to pay fees for schedule changes, I don't wanna mess up my schedule, and I know I'll have to take the course in the future if I don't now because its a general ed requirement.

There are no other seats available in the class, usually, besides the one that's broken (which I sat in for a few minutes today, until I realized it was broken).

Even though I have not actually met Girl B yet, I know she has the same name as Girl A because I heard it called while the professor was calling attendance!!!

How can I deal here?
I haven't been able to STOP thinking of Girl A all day!!!!
Thanks!
Thanks guys!!!
I said hi to the person I wanted to say hi to today after class today and I think it went well!!!

But I have ANOTHER problem:

There's this girl who I used to like (Girl A; yes, I'm bisexual) from middle school. Long story short, it got beyond obvious that I liked her and it creeped her out. I sent her a polite apology (I knew it was good since I re-read it multiple times and also had a couple of friends read it over and edit it!!!) fairly recently on Facebook, since we do not see each other face to face anymore. She blocked me, so I know she rejected the apology!!!

I've been able to forget about her UNTIL now because a new semester began at my college last week and a girl with the same name (Girl B) sits next to me in a class I have!!!

I do not want to transfer out of the class because I don't want to have to pay fees for schedule changes, I don't wanna mess up my schedule, and I know I'll have to take the course in the future if I don't now because its a general ed requirement.

There are no other seats available in the class, usually, besides the one that's broken (which I sat in for a few minutes today, until I realized it was broken).

Even though I have not actually met Girl B yet, I know she has the same name as Girl A because I heard it called while the professor was calling attendance!!!

How can I deal here?
I haven't been able to STOP thinking of Girl A all day!!!!
Thanks!
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02-01-14 12:51 AM
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xxeliza321xx : It's pretty normal you don't have to say hi to everyone you meet, just to people who communicate with you or whatever
xxeliza321xx : It's pretty normal you don't have to say hi to everyone you meet, just to people who communicate with you or whatever
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02-01-14 05:22 PM
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First of all, it seems to be very normal not to say hi to people you don't know, unless of course you've spoken with them before and are acquaintances.

If you're worried about buffing up your social skills, it's something you have to practice with like anything else. thenumberone makes a good point, to force yourself to interact with people. I live in a pretty secluded area, with just a few friends, and I don't really get enough social interaction here. So every once in awhile I'll visit a place full of people that I'm never going to have to see again, for the expressed purpose of developing social skills and pretending to like people. I'll participate in some social event, or even play my guitar at a park, something to build a healthy level of social confidence. After a while, social interactions will just become more natural.

I've had major anxiety problems for most of my life, so I can definitely relate.
First of all, it seems to be very normal not to say hi to people you don't know, unless of course you've spoken with them before and are acquaintances.

If you're worried about buffing up your social skills, it's something you have to practice with like anything else. thenumberone makes a good point, to force yourself to interact with people. I live in a pretty secluded area, with just a few friends, and I don't really get enough social interaction here. So every once in awhile I'll visit a place full of people that I'm never going to have to see again, for the expressed purpose of developing social skills and pretending to like people. I'll participate in some social event, or even play my guitar at a park, something to build a healthy level of social confidence. After a while, social interactions will just become more natural.

I've had major anxiety problems for most of my life, so I can definitely relate.
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(edited by sloanstar1000 on 02-01-14 05:28 PM)    

02-01-14 10:18 PM
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Thanks guys!
I've already resolved this by saying hi to the person I wanted to and it went well!!!

Now, I have a bit of a new issue that I did not want to create a new topic so soon about.
Look at my last post, the one about Girl A and Girl B.
Thanks guys!
I've already resolved this by saying hi to the person I wanted to and it went well!!!

Now, I have a bit of a new issue that I did not want to create a new topic so soon about.
Look at my last post, the one about Girl A and Girl B.
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02-02-14 12:29 AM
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Girl B has done nothing wrong you can't just block out everyone with the same name is Girl A for the rest of your life so just forget about Girl A since she is long gone now anyways.   
Girl B has done nothing wrong you can't just block out everyone with the same name is Girl A for the rest of your life so just forget about Girl A since she is long gone now anyways.   
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02-02-14 04:30 PM
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You're right but that's easier said than done :/
But I'm trying to, day by day!
You're right but that's easier said than done :/
But I'm trying to, day by day!
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02-02-14 05:02 PM
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Yeah...its completely normal. I have this problem also. Im shy when it comes to talking with friends....i barely know..and are just classmates i know. (People know me because im so quiet). Anyway to over come this problem...try to have a decent conversation at least.....once you do that...sometimes you wont be afraid to talk to them anymore..it worked for me.
Yeah...its completely normal. I have this problem also. Im shy when it comes to talking with friends....i barely know..and are just classmates i know. (People know me because im so quiet). Anyway to over come this problem...try to have a decent conversation at least.....once you do that...sometimes you wont be afraid to talk to them anymore..it worked for me.
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02-03-14 11:21 AM
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Thank you!

Now I'm a little paranoid that Girl B thought I was starring at her/that I came across as starring when I didn't mean to the last class she was there.

I am a bit paranoid because she was out today (I know it could have been for other reasons, but I'm still a bit paranoid) & I glanced over there a few times because I really could NOT stop thinking about Girl A.

I mean, she was not facing me/never looked at me anytime & I don't even know what she looks like, but eyes can wander.

I would just be able to spot Girl B from her hair style and color if I saw her out of class or somewhere.

How can I apologize if it becomes apparent she doesn't like me or something?

Thank you!

Now I'm a little paranoid that Girl B thought I was starring at her/that I came across as starring when I didn't mean to the last class she was there.

I am a bit paranoid because she was out today (I know it could have been for other reasons, but I'm still a bit paranoid) & I glanced over there a few times because I really could NOT stop thinking about Girl A.

I mean, she was not facing me/never looked at me anytime & I don't even know what she looks like, but eyes can wander.

I would just be able to spot Girl B from her hair style and color if I saw her out of class or somewhere.

How can I apologize if it becomes apparent she doesn't like me or something?

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(edited by xxeliza321xx on 02-04-14 09:12 PM)    

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