So one of my favorite series of all time was Brian Jacques' Redwall books. I know there are a lot of kids out there who have marveled at these books, and rightfully so. Perhaps one of the most fascinating features of the books, surprisingly, is NOT the talking creatures, captivating heroes and villains, or beautiful landscapes.

In fact, when I think back on Redwall books, one of the things I remember most are the FEASTS. Brian Jacques seemed to have a huge fascination with describing food, and he would literally write PAGES in each novel that described what his characters ate and how these foods were prepared. In fact, if I had never read these novels, I never would have known what a leek or a scone were.

I was reminded of this series recently and EVER since then, I've been craving to read those lovely, mouth-watering descriptions again. I've wanted to write them as well, but I'm terrible at cooking and know very little about food. Here is a small example of Jacque's work:

"Brother Alf remarked that Friar Hugo had excelled himself, as course aftercourse was brought to the table. Tender freshwater shrimp garnished withcream and rose leaves, devilled barley pearls in acorn puree, apple and carrot chews, marinated cabbage stalks steeped in creamed white turnip with nutmeg."

I often wonder how in the world Jacque's was able to write such fanciful things and I wonder if he ever had an interest in cooking or was closely related to a chef. As I was trying to look up excerpts online, I just KNEW there had to be fan-developed recipes out there. I was right! Not only that, but there is an ACTUAL Redwall Cookbook. The only part that disappoints me is that it's not written by Jacques himself. If there was, I would buy it in a heartbeat, no matter the cost. I'm actually half tempted to buy the Redwall Cookbook if only I knew how closely it stuck to Jacque's writings. XD


Now the question I ask is... Who doesn't love food?!?! Now is YOUR chance to make my mouth water. I want you to write a feast, Redwall style. Your post must be at least 500 words long in order to count, and it must discuss a feast of fanciful foods.

The one to make my mouth water the most will win 25,000 Viz.

I will keep this open until Thanksgiving Day. Seems rather fitting, right?

Peter woke up on Christmas to the smell of honey-glazed ham.  The aroma stuffed itself into his nostrils and seemed to compel him to arise and follow the smell to its source.  The source was a large, white boiler: Nothing fancy, but enough to get the job done.  He wished he could have it all to himself, but then he remembered something: His father, the pastor of the local church, had invited a new family in the church to come eat with them this Christmas.  He checked the time: 11:00 AM.  About one hour before his father would leave to give them a ride.  Joy.

His family had probably forgotten about the presents still under the tree in the rush to prepare all the food.  Yet as he walked towards the main kitchen of their house, he began to be overwhelmed.  His mother and his sister, Anna, were busy preparing all sorts of foods, such as mashed potatoes with amish butter and gravy made from the sweet juices of the ham, a simple homemade dressing made from sweetened bread, and all sorts of pies: Cherry pie, apple pie, even peanut butter chocolate pie!  There was even candied chestnut bread made in a special mold into the shapes of lions and tigers and bears.

“Oh, my!”, Peter exclaimed as he examined the delicious spread coming into existence.

“Good morning, Sleepyhead!”, his mother acknowledged.

“Good morning, Mom.”, Peter groaned.

“We thought we’d hold out on presents until the Joneses came over.  Remember those gifts you helped us wrap last night?”

“Yup, I remember.”  He stated plainly.  In reality, he didn’t even know what was in the boxes they were giving the Joneses.  He’d helped wrap the boxes, but wasn’t allowed to see what was in them.  His mother thought it’d be a great surprise that way.

He helped Anna and his mother to watch the pies and stir the gravy while his father went to pick up the Joneses.  He had a small taste of the gravy when Anna and his mother were looking away.  The sweet, tangy flavor of the gravy combined with its slightly sticky texture to coat its amazing flavor on his tongue.

He couldn’t help it.  “Wow!”, he exclaimed.

“You tasted the gravy.”, his mother stated flatly as she turned around.

Caught.  “Yup.”, he admitted.

Soon after they finished setting the table, the front door opened, and in walked the Joneses, along with his dad.  The Joneses were a classic family of four, just like their family, only they didn’t have the funds to eat quite like they did.  His mother was the first to greet them.
 “Come on in!”, she announced as welcome.  “We’ve got plenty of good vittles here for y’all!”

The family of four politely sat around the table set for eight: Three chairs on each side, and two on the ends.  They took two chairs per side, leaving one on each side near the ends for Anna and him.  His father took up a chair on the end closest to where he was sitting, and his mother took up the other chair by Anna on the other side, so that all of the men were adjacent to each other, and the women as well.  He thought that was an interesting bit of symmetry.

“Peter, would you say the blessing on the food?”, his mother asked from the other side of the table.

“Don’t mind if I do,” replied Peter.  In reality, he just wanted to get started eating!

He started, “Dear Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for all the great food we’re about to eat.  We ask Thee to bless it and the awesome hands that prepared it.”  His mother and Anna chuckled aloud.  “In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

“Let’s dig in!”, Peter and Anna shouted at once, and the feast began.

Singelli : My high school library discards a lot of books every year, so I took some of those, I read them, and I was surprised at how good they were. At the moment, I have a few sitting in my closet collecting dust. However, I am a terrible cook, once, my computer caught fire just trying to look up a recipe. Therefore, I decline your challenge until further notice.

I don't know if this is OK, but I'm bumping this thread.  I'd really love to see other people in the competition, and read their works.  Fun, fun, fun!

supernerd117 : You might be a simple winner of this. XD  I might close it up with a paragraph myself.  But I thought I might give you an early congratulations?  lol  *holds microphone up*

"How does it feel to be so awesome that you go unchallenged?  You intimidated all the competition!"

Well supernerd117 ... congratulations!  You are the uncontested winner of 25k viz!    How awesome is that?!?!

Love ya, and God bless!  *hugs tightly*

Local Mods :  Please close this flop of a competition. haha.

closed due to request.