I recently decided to try and go back to school one more time and try to get that elusive high school diploma. This is not the first time I have attempted to finish and even spent a couple of years in a GED prep program. (Had to spend time in the program due to not even being offered the curriculum required to pass a GED test when I was in school.) The only thing that prevented me from getting a GED was I hit a roadblock when it came to science and math but I passed everything else with perfect scores. For whatever reason I just couldn’t get a grasp of math and science even though I tried my best.

Anyway about six years ago the program I was in was closed down by the school system and I could have continued at a tech school but I was and still am in a position where I need a flexible schedule due to my work and I was not going to get that had I gone to the tech school. I was also told that I would pretty much have to start from scratch and after a couple of years really trying to get a grip on stuff I never seen when I was in school I frankly was upset by that.

I instead opted for an online correspondence school and pretty much paid my tuition for the school in full shortly after I left the GED program. The only thing that stood in my way at that point was I didn’t have access to my high school transcripts. I found out last month that I could sign a waiver to get started. (Had I known I could do that, I would have done it years ago.) So I signed the waiver and got started with the school’s introduction course. One thing that really bothers me is the school has a high standard of you cannot get a D for a final course grade. This took me back a little because from where I sit, if someone is paying tuition and is paying in full and is giving an effort then they shouldn’t be cut because they get a D. After all, a D isn’t very good but it is passing technically.

Right now I am two lessons in to a four lesson part of the course and they hit me with a math review right out of the gate. I am trying to take my time and refresh my mind as best as I can before I try completing this lesson. I won’t lie being a writer I was really hoping that they would let me tackle English and Vocabulary and reading and literature out of the gate because frankly that alone with history and health are my strong points. When it comes to math I am a boader line novice. Frankly without a calculator it’s hit or miss.

With the standard of not being able to get a D in a course, including the introduction course it has me full of self-doubt and I am wondering whether or not I can do this. It has been almost 14 yrs since I was in high school and it has been the monkey that I just haven’t been able to get off my back in the years since.

I have been through a lot of things that have changed my life since then but I still have self doubt and have been wondering whether or not I should just try for a GED again or if I should just give this my best shot in the meantime. Part of what made me decide to finally do this was I wasn’t aware that all I had to do was sign a waiver to get started and frankly as a writer who has struggled and struggled for years to find a way to be adequately paid for his work I hope that somehow if I could get the monkey off my back that it might open doors for me.

I’m not looking to prove anything to anyone or anything like that but this would be satisfying for me if I could pull this off somehow. I just need to get the monkey off my back finally if nothing else for my own personal satisfaction of knowing that even though I’ve been through hell and back that I finished what I started even if it took me almost two decades etc.

Even though I am full of self-doubt and have been second guessing myself I don’t want to give up. Frankly even though I have been single for years the thought has crossed my mind more than once of if and when I do meet someone settle down, and have kids of what kind of example I want to set for them. I am also an uncle and I practically beg my nieces and nephews not to make the same mistakes I made and, I would think that it would be good for them seeing as their still young for the most part to see that their uncle finished things. At least I would hope so.

I am contemplating what I should do. I was wondering if anyone has been through similar circumstances and if so how they approached things? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

First, let me say that I admire what you are trying to do and I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

I have a friend who flopped around in High School and stopped going because he "lost interest". Since the legal age to drop out where he lived was 16, he just ended it there. I eventually convinced him to get a GED. He was only 20 at the time and I felt like he had plenty of opportunity to still make something of his life. He ended up passing with a perfect score (which apparently makes the test free or something?) and went on to college to get a degree. Now he has a good job and everything... so I like seeing people going after their GED like that.

As for the D-requirement... I don't agree with a school telling you that you passed, but still failed. That's stupid. If they want a higher bar, they should alter what's a passing/failing score. At the same time, I don't think a D is anything to strive for anyway. Even getting a C is only obtaining mediocrity. A's and B's are obviously what you should be trying for and if you obtain those, you can truly say you know the subject. You can usually get a D just by handing in all your assignments on time, even if you don't really grasp the material.

For your struggles, have you tried doing additional research on your trouble subjects? Even something as simple as internet searching can help... especially with a logic-based subject like Math. The internet is less likely to contain misinformation when it comes to Math since it's a pretty straightforward subject. You also don't have to memorize anything beyond how to actually do the problem. Other subject require more memorization, I feel.

May I ask what areas exactly you are studying in math? Perhaps I can lend more advice based on that.

I think anyone trying to finish school is extremely admirable, and not because I'm a teacher.  Although I don't have much faith in our public education system, I still think it's a pretty important thing to get it.  It says a lot about your character and I commend you on it.

I've met a lot of people going back to get their education and it certainly was tough.

By the way, I'm a math teacher if you ever want to ask any questions.

Crazy Li : Thank you… To be honest and this may sound like I’m being hard on myself but I don’t think it is admirable. The fact is I should have had this over with years ago and I think it’s sad in a way that I’m still trying to do this as I’m a year away from turning 30.

It’s just something that I need to be done with in order to fully move on with my life. I was a naïve, stupid kid in my teen years and there is a lot of stuff I went through that I frankly don’t remember much of. Once I came to my senses I’ve been trying to redeem myself since. It’s been a struggle for me but I have tried my best to admit my faults and mistakes and have tried to learn from everything so I can be a better person. To be honest if I had it my way I would erase my teen years.

The no D for course grades is definitely something that I am worried about and it has sort of made me take a step back instead of going forward with everything like I wanted to. I knew that math and science would be my roadblocks based on the trouble I had years ago while taking GED prep. As I said before everything else I had to prep for taking the GED I passed with perfect scores relatively quickly. This to me was a form of vindication to a degree because even though I was a published writer even before I left school, the school system was convinced that my grade levels were third and fourth grade even though when I dropped out I was in tenth grade. I’m disabled and I have come to believe that, that was and probably still is the way they treat disabled students. It sucks for lack of a better term but I think that is the case.

As far as math as I said if I can’t use a calculator I am pretty much hit or miss. I have been researching and I have come across a few sites that I have been sporadically using. I need to learn arithmetic math for this introduction course but I think it’s best that since I am not good at math and it’s been years since I’ve had to do math that I do a complete refresher of everything so I can relearn what I have learned and learn stuff that I was never given access to when I was in school.

This is the main problem I face. Due to me not even being offered access to much of this stuff especially when it came to math I am automatically at a disadvantage. To a degree there is a part of me that considers myself self-educated because I had to learn a lot of stuff on my own and had learn how to be a writer. When I first started I was horrible and didn’t really pay attention to things like grammar and stuff like that but I learned by simply practice and such. It’s something I still do because after all no one is perfect.

This is where I think I learned my reading comprehension and such but with math and science it’s like running into a brick wall at a thousand miles per hour. Far as the math I found this site that the correspondence school actually pointed me in the direction of for reviewing called Khan Academy. They basically have math from pre-k right through college. I have been spending some time on that site over the last couple of days strictly trying to review everything from beginning to end before I go back to the math review lesson on my introduction course. I think it is wise to approach it from the standpoint of even though I know beginners math that I need to review everything so I can not only refresh my brain but also learn the stuff that I don’t know so when I get to a lesson or anything that may look difficult that I’m not intimidated by it. Hopefully it works… I am still contemplating whether I want to stay in this correspondence school and give it my best shot in the meantime or if I should get my money back and try the GED again. Either way even though it has been discouraging and even though I have been doing a lot of second guessing I am not going to give up.

I’ve just gotten to a point where I’ve had enough of things like this hanging over my head and if I’m ever going to find some contentment within myself I need to get this over with. As I said before part of my motivation other than wanting to set an example if and when I have a family of my own and for my nieces and nephews is I am hoping that it will open doors in regard to my writing. I have been struggling for years just to get paid for my work and I am hoping that if I can get this out of my way that I will be able to advance somehow or at the minimum be offered steady income for what I do. It certainly isn't a lack of work ethic on my part because I have been fully dedicated to my writing since I left school and when things are normal I work nearly constantly. If there are 52 weeks in a year odds are I’m covering stuff forty-eight or forty-nine weeks out of that year, I cover Boxing but I also have done MMA and did pro wrestling for several years as well. Most weekends because I am a freelancer I try to cover as many Boxing cards I can possibly have access to regardless of time difference or if their on television in the US. So often I will be covering at least four cards if not more over a period of a couple of days and then write subsequent material, (Providing that the fights actually give me something to write about.) that I spread out over a couple of weeks depending on who I’m providing content to and it just keeps going and going etc.

It is exhausting at times but I love it and I thank god for giving me this which is in essence what helped straighten me out. Although I love it and have a passion for it, it can be demoralizing when you practically put all your time into your writing and you just can’t find a way to be paid or paid consistently. I have always looked at it as I’m paying my dues and even though I started when I was young I didn’t really focus on it as a career option until I left school. Even though I have sacrificed a lot for my writing I don’t want it to be all for nothing so that is a motivator for me to finally get it done. I’m hoping I can one way or the other.

Singelli : It is no secret to those that know me that even though I accept full responsibility for my mistakes and blame myself for them that I am no fan of the school system especially with regard to disabled students. I was a Special Ed student for a large part of my school years even though I had some general classes in high school. As I said before even though I was a screw up back then and even though I allowed a lot of stuff outside of school and nonsense to divert my focus from what was really important, I was actually a published writer long before I dropped out. Some teachers didn’t really believe me when I would tell them, “Hey, I’m writing columns for websites and such.” Some even dared me to bring my material in saying in a sarcastic way, Well I want to read your columns as if I were lying about it.

I will admit especially in regard to my teen years that I was a BS’er to a big degree but I would never lie about my writing. Anyway I remember a teacher handing me a deck of Uno cards and saying here’s a deck of cards go sit in the corner.

Even though stuff that I was going through outside of school was the large part of me dropping out I never really forget those teachers telling me that or telling me along with people that I thought were friends that I wouldn’t amount to anything. If anything it motivated me to be as good a writer as I possibly could be.

Since I got onto social media some of those people I thought were my friends re-entered the picture and have been supportive of me. Someone who even gave me Occupational therapy going back to my elementary years and even high school even reached out to me and after reading several of my columns told me that she was proud of what I had accomplished. This was a teacher who was always good to me so I had no anger at her but seeing her tell me that frankly had me in tears. There is no way I could tell her what that meant to me after everything I’ve been through. Even though I still keep contact with those people and my old OT teacher I haven’t really said anything about me trying one more time to finish this. This is my fourth attempt. (Tried going back to school twice after I initially dropped out and even switched schools. Was told that it was a state rule that I would be released at 18 years of age regardless of whether or not I was going to school and such and that there was no test for me to try and get my credits.)

It has been a monkey on my back for 14 yrs, I need it over with for my own personal satisfaction of knowing I did it. The reason why I have pretty much kept this to myself beyond my family and a few close friends is this is strictly me trying to prove a point to myself.

I’m hoping that this is the charm for me.

I think you have a good idea to try to refresh on everything since it's been a while. Some people might take the basics for granted and figure it's not necessary to review that, but those are the foundations of the harder stuff. Who cares if you understand the process of Algebraic formula solving if you forgot what 8*9 is, for example? You still need the basic math to complete the problem fully. If you don't use something on a regular basis, it's easy to forget it.

I also recommend doing lots of practice tests if you can find them. Find a source for problems that are similar to the ones you're covering in your class and try to answer them and check your answers. This will help you gauge how well you're understanding/retaining the info relevant to your class in your studies. It's not enough to simply read up information. You also have to test yourself to make sure you're not going to get a D or below.

I always wanted to drop out of school, even though I knew that I shouldn't. It wasn't because I lost interest at school, but rather it was extremely stressful. Although I lived several miles away from my school and literally half my day was going to and from school; and the other half was literally being at school. As soon as I got home I was too tired and went to sleep; only to wake up and have to go back to school again. It was like going to school five times in one day and I never had time to do my homework assignments, my grades completely suffered because of all of that.


I only got two credits to earn before I finish High school though and I'm starting to feel that stress again. Trust me when I say I know how hard trying to complete school is. But just keep pushing yourself saying "a little bit more" and "a little bit further" and you can eventually grind your way through it. If you can complete one day, you can complete two. If you can complete two, you can complete three. If you can complete a week, you can complete a month; you know you will have no excuse as to why you cannot do it.

Khan Academy is a GREAT resource.  I love their youtube videos and have them listed as one of the resources my students should use on my syllabus.

As for what you've mentioned about the schools:
Oddly enough, though I work in the public school system, I hate it.  It's more concerned with 'looking good' than actually 'being good'. Standards are dropped for students AND for teachers alike,and the system is simply spiraling downwards, in my opinion.  Luckily, I work at a school with very few education students, because if I had many, I know I'd get frustrated at the lack of support from the high ups.

Teaching is a huge passion of mine and in my opinion it just simply isn't done right by most people nowadays.  The 'deck of UNO cards' story, whether true or an illustration, is horrible.  I see things like that happening all the time and they make me sick to my stomach.

That's PART of the reason I teach in a public school.  I may not be able to make large changes, but I can make a small dent.

Singelli :

My public school was one of the big factors that wanted to make me drop out of school in the first place. It was literally awful there. The only good teacher at school left literally 3 days after I joined it because of how the system was like; he was only my teacher for three days but he was literally my favorite teacher that I ever had. x_X

The school did a half slab job of actually teaching the students, and even there they did very little to help bring children up who were not doing very good.

Aside from that, you can't even fail school anymore until you are in Highschool. You only get held back if your parent(s)/guardian(s) say so. You can do absolutely NOTHING and still be passed onto the next grade; it's horrifying! :l



That, and I'm not liking the fact I see 7 year old boys and girls carrying those cell phone things around; like the teenagers and such stereotypically have. What does a 7 year old need a CELLPHONE for? That's just BOUND to be a distraction in class...

Sairek Ceareste :  I don't want to sandwich post, so I'll wait to expound on this topic further, but all I have to say right now is that I could NOT possibly agree with you more.  On every sentence you just wrote!  Every one!

bvd1022 : First and foremost, you definitely should be proud of yourself. You are trying, that's what matters. If you have trouble with Science and Math, those were my downfalls when I was in school as well, have you thought about trying to find a tutor or maybe a site that tutors people with the subjects they're having trouble with? I know that you shouldn't feel bad about having to wait those years to get your education finished. As the saying goes, it's never too late.

It may have been a long time before you had the chance to finish, but it's never too late to try for a better education. I was lucky and was able to graduate High School with honors and get into a really good college and get my degrees. But it was a long challenging battle. I just think it varies for everyone. I can't tell you what to decide. But if you really need to get this "monkey off your back" so to speak, then just sit down and go over the pro's and con's. See if there are more pro's and if so then go for it. I think reviewing the subjects you're having trouble with is a great idea. So that will probably help you do well in those areas. So all I can really say is, I hope I have helped you in some way.

I can definitely tell you're a good writer. You verbalize yourself very straightforward and clearly. You certainly express yourself than I do and I've been writing since I was in High School. If anything, you inspire me to work more on my writing skills, since it's been a couple of years since I really sat down and wrote anything. I am even thinking of using the stories forum here on Vizzed to get to practicing my writing skills again, so thank you for being such an inspiration for me and I am sure you are for others.

I agree that the school system is very unfair to those who may have to be in the special education program. But I remember when my brother's were in the special education program, it was meant for helping the few students that were in those classes on an individual basis. What I mean is, the teacher had less students than the other classes because it gave them more time to help each student on a more individual basis. I have no idea what is was like for you or what it's like now. But you are definitely very intelligent. Even more so than me. And I was considered a real brain when I was in school. So be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished and let that motivate you to succeed in future endeavors. Just remember how it felt when you finally got published for the first time. It probably was anything but easy. It took time and effort but you did it. Let that inspire you to finish the education you sought out to finish. I know you can do it. You are so talented and that just from me observing your writing skills in this thread. I'm even kind of jealous. Ha ha.

I may even come to you for advice about writing since it's something I even love to do. So good luck with your goals and I am sure you can do it.

Oldschool41 : Oh no matter if I stay enrolled in this school or not I will finish one way or the other. This is about finishing something that has hung over my head for far too long and even though I have done my best to move on with my life since more or less realizing the error of my ways; I need to finish this one way or the other in order to feel like I’ve somewhat redeemed myself. It’s certainly not a good feeling to carry around for nearly a decade and a half that although you’ve picked yourself up and have accomplished some things and have straightened your life out that you’re still feeling like a hopeless teenage screw up in many ways.

I will admit that I am hard on myself and one of the main reasons I am is because I’ve spent years trying to figure out what the hell was going through my mind when I was a screw up. The friends from back then that I still keep contact with for the most part all tell me I’m too hard on myself and tell me things like “No one’s perfect, everyone screws up at one point or another” and such… I guess one of the reasons why I am as hard on myself as I am is because I now realize having straightened myself out just how screwed up I was back then and I certainly have many regrets obviously but the main thing is I don’t want that period of my life to be the thing that defines me or, the thing that people will remember me for. I don’t know if I’ll get to a point where I’ll forgive myself but I hope that at the minimum that, that period of my life will be a chapter of what turns out to be a good story so to speak. Least I hope so.

Crazy Li : Definitely I know that there is no way especially with math and science that I’m just going to be able to breeze through everything with relative ease simply because I’m older now and have my head on straight. Wisdom comes in handy for many things but mathematics definitely isn’t one of them or, at least it isn’t for me. Basically what I am trying is since this is a high school introduction course and I can go at my own pace, I am using the Khan Academy site along with other sites to more or less re-educate me in regard to math from beginning to end so that I will be prepared to take the math review exam at that point without feeling intimidated. I am hoping that going at it with this approach although it will stall my progress obviously will help me in the long run with a faster pace, assuming I pass so that I can take as much time as I need but still be able to get passed the math subjects quickly so that hopefully I can finish before I turn 32. Like I said this is assuming I pass the math review when I decide to take the exam and subsequent reading comprehension lesson and, whatever part two of this school’s introduction course has to offer. If I don’t pass and have to withdraw per their No D standard I am going to do studying for the GED online and hopefully based on my previous experience trying to prep for it and what I learn from the sites I am using it will be an easier task. I am determined to beat this finally.

Sairek Ceareste : I have talked on here several times about how much I regret my teen years. For me it wasn’t so much academics that was the reason why I didn’t succeed in high school, it was really due to other things outside of school. For one my parents were separated at the time and I was basically caught in the middle for the majority of my teen years. This alone caused more stress then anyone really deserves simply because I really tried playing peacemaker between the two of them much of the time as a teenager. Before I hit my teens I was a perfect attendance, honor roll student who was generally liked by everyone. For whatever reason after I hit my teens I gradually slid from what I was and shortly after entering High school everything changed for me. In addition to the stress I had from my parents’ separation, I also didn’t help myself by hanging out with the wrong people for the most part and getting engaged twice before I was 17. (Young and Dumb) All the above led to me dropping out when I was in tenth grade. It also didn’t help that the school I was in at the time was more like a live production of a soap opera than a school with everyone talking about everyone’s personal business (Who’s going with who, who’s sleeping with who etc.) You can expect that from students but it’s sad when the faculty gets involved and gossiped as much if not more than students. It wasn’t long before I was disinterested and developed a strong dislike for that place. They reached out to me several years back to come back and talk to students for one of the teach in’s but I refused. They basically wanted me to portray that I made a mistake (Which I did by dropping out.) and leaving the school and wanted me to say how great the school was/is. I couldn’t do that. I regret not finishing but I don’t regret why I left.

Although my parents eventually got back together it took a long time for me to realize my errors and to mature from everything that I had been through. I don’t have any anger at all toward my parents, fact is it’s on me but the thing I wish was that I was able to deal with everything in a better way and maybe I wouldn’t have slid as bad as I did. I can honestly say for those teen years I pretty much felt like the world was coming down on me and I was obviously lost and confused in that period of my life. I just hope now that I’m older and don’t have to worry about excess nonsense that I can get this over with finally. The way I’m looking at it is it’s me versus the books and only that.

Singelli : I have been very impressed with Khan Academy so far. Like I said before I haven’t done much math in years beyond frequent use of a calculator when paying bills and such. I am basically going back to the very beginning of math to just refresh my memory and just progress to where I need to be. I will be honest when I say that I have been busy the last two days so I haven’t gone on in that time but I am planning on picking up where I left off tomorrow night. I am hoping that by doing this a couple of hours a day that I will learn what I need to in a reasonable time. Their YouTube videos are excellent. I will be honest after listening to a few lessons regarding basic addition and subtraction I began wondering to myself why this wasn’t available when I was trying to get a GED years ago.

Far as what you’ve said about the school system and class size I couldn’t agree with you more. I know that where I am they have been arguing over class size for years and they never seem to find the solution. Much like everything else in this world I am convinced that school systems are only concerned with money and they could care less about students. I feel the same way about Doctors and how mysteriously after all the donations to charities and all the advances in technology somehow they just don’t want to release cures for diseases. In the words of Jesse Ventura Follow the money…
Far as teaching I can relate to that. I am convinced that my writing saved me from oblivion years ago. I have always had a passion for combat sports, specifically Boxing and wrestling but could not participate physically in either due to my physical limitations. If I could I would but it’s just not in the cards. I do love that I am involved though even if it’s in a small way and hope that my contributions to the sport will be, he stood up for Boxing and stood up for the fighters, spoke out against things that were a determent to the sport, was always fair and was always honest. To be honest, you have to have a passion to be a writer no matter what you’re genre may be. It took me eight years before I got paid for my work and it’s still a struggle just to be paid. This is why I tell people who ask me from time to time how I got started and such and how to get started, almost the first thing I tell them is don’t expect to automatically get a solid paying gig. In November I will be at this 17 years and full time since 2001. I still haven’t found a spot where I will be able to make a steady living. Because of my limited options both because I didn’t finish school and because of my physical limitations it has made things very difficult financially but as I’ve said before I look at it as paying my dues and I hope that I will get to where I need to be one day where I can not only support myself comfortably but also a family if and when I settle down with someone.

Despite my past experience with certain teachers in high school I feel sorry for teachers in general. I feel they don’t nearly get paid what they should and that can lead to performance issues because if a teacher isn’t well compensated, no matter how well meaning they may be it has to be discouraging and I think that can have an effect on students. Not too long ago there was a teacher’s strike here locally. It makes me wish I had my head back when I was screwed up because I think the students are the ones who really need to go on strike.

SunflowerGaming : All I can do is try… I admit I am far from perfect and that is a fact. I’m not proud of myself but I am definitely determined. Maybe when this is all over I’ll feel proud or maybe at minimum happy that it’s finally over.

Thank you for the kind words. I have worked very hard over the years with my writing and even though I may not be the best, I certainly hope I get my points across. It’s done so much for me despite the struggle to get paid. I have appeared on radio programs as a guest analyst and even did my first television appearance this year for a sports network in England. Not bad for a drop out who was told he wouldn’t amount to anything. I just wish it wasn’t an uphill battle just to be paid. I often say that I got three strikes against me if not more. One I’m disabled and am limited to what I can do physically, two I’m a drop out and, three the one industry that I picked for my career just so happens to be one of the most difficult to make a living. It has been extremely frustrating at times as you can imagine because I literally put all my time and energy into my work when things are normal, sacrificing things, including a personal life and whatever money I have I use to pay pay-per-view fees so I can cover cards. In a decent universe the outlet that I’m providing content to would pay those fees if their not going to pay to send me to cover the card in person and pay me for the material and the time. (Sighs) I would love that. As I’ve said I look at it all as paying my dues. I just don’t want all the sacrifices, nonsense I’ve had to put up with over the years not just in general but in regard to my work and all the sleepless nights to be for nothing. That’s probably why I push myself beyond what I really should. I just hope on a personal level I’ll be able to settle down by my mid 30s with someone. I’m definitely not getting any younger that’s for sure and I feel it everyday.

Far as what you said about the school system as you’ve probably already read I think it’s as close to being a joke without actually being one as it could possibly be.

You’re more than welcome to pick my brain about writing any time. Just ask.