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Thread
Creator
NovemberJoy
05-20-12 10:46 PM
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DARKANINE
05-21-12 06:18 PM
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I've made better games than this

 
Game's Ratings
Overall
Graphics
Sound
Addictiveness
Depth
Story
Difficulty
Average User Score
6.4
1
1
1
1
N/A
10
NovemberJoy's Score
0.1
1
1
1
1
N/A
10

05-20-12 10:46 PM
NovemberJoy is Offline
| ID: 587620 | 676 Words

NovemberJoy
Level: 78


POSTS: 307/1587
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CP: 11611.5
VIZ: 514180

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Let's imagine a situation. Say, you were living in China, and you wanted a game for your (probably pirated) NES, and you got this game. If I were that child, I'd be crying my eyes out...Do you know why? Because this is one of the most broken, unplayable games I've ever tried to play.

Graphics:Looks like Warioware D.I.Y.
Truly, this game, with its 4-frame animations and not having more than 4 different animations per sprite, looks like a Warioware game. In fact, it even has unfinished details and such, like a Warioware D.I.Y. game trying to imitate an NES game! Even the colors could be done on Warioware D.I.Y.

Music/Sound:Nice try
The music tries to imitate the music tracks from Contra, but they sound like they were composed while drunk. The sound isn't better than "average unlicensed game" sound effects, either.

Gameplay:My controller isn't broken
The gameplay is, well, y'know, all the games that are said to have horrible control? Like Dragon's Lair and such? Yeah, those have NOTHING on this. At least those games actually accepted your button presses!

They tried to add a password system, but to my knowledge, it probably doesn't work. I say probably because I couldn't get past the first level, and I don't want to pull an Irate Gamer. While there is a two-player function, forgive me for shouting, but...

WHO IS GOING TO PLAY THIS WITH YOU?!

...Okay, now that I have that out of the way, let's get started with the biggest problem in the game...The controls. I'm wondering if they even tested this game before they rele- That's a stupid question. It's a bootleg, of course they didn't!

For whatever reason, you can't shoot and move at the same time. Literally, if you try to jump while shooting, it will not jump, no matter how much you hammer the button. Sometimes shooting doesn't respond if you have the default gun, sometimes the controls stop responding for a few seconds when you duck, the list goes on. THIS probably explains why I couldn't pass the first level.

The programming is also lousy. Sometimes you'll fall through a platform, sometimes an enemy will walk on thin air, sometimes you will shoot an enemy and the bullets will go right through him, sometimes, when you destroy a tank, its bullets become invisible, and sometimes a mine will explode at a certain distance and kill you, and sometimes it won't...

The weapons are here, but they're drastically changed. The Machine Gun(which is represented by an N, for some baffling reason) now shoots what look like marbles at a half-decent speed, the Laser shoots small laser shots, and there is no limit to how many there can be at a time, the Flamethrower shoots stars(!?) in a spiral pattern, and the Spread Gun shoots three slow marbles at straight and 45-degree angles(which is still the best weapon in the game).

Then, there's the level design. Well...it's awful. You just have to see it to believe how terrible it is. There's mines placed just so that it's almost impossible to get through without dying, because there's enemies constantly spawning and shooting there, as well as a tank shooting strings of three bullets at you at one part.

While the game may be overly difficult, it's only because of all its flaws. With the controls, programming, weapon selection, and level design against you, how can you win? The game's at an incredible advantage over you.

Final Rating:This Game Will Cause The Apocalypse

Final Thoughts:Truly, I don't even want to play this game any more. Though I should, I really don't want to. Mainly because there's so many other games I could be playing instead of this one. I'd rather play Action 52, Dick Tracy, and, well, just about any other bad game out there, because this game is far, far beyond bad.

Final Verdict:Guilty as charged. The game developers shall be put into prison until they can make a good game(in other words, for life), and all copies of this game shall be burned...
Let's imagine a situation. Say, you were living in China, and you wanted a game for your (probably pirated) NES, and you got this game. If I were that child, I'd be crying my eyes out...Do you know why? Because this is one of the most broken, unplayable games I've ever tried to play.

Graphics:Looks like Warioware D.I.Y.
Truly, this game, with its 4-frame animations and not having more than 4 different animations per sprite, looks like a Warioware game. In fact, it even has unfinished details and such, like a Warioware D.I.Y. game trying to imitate an NES game! Even the colors could be done on Warioware D.I.Y.

Music/Sound:Nice try
The music tries to imitate the music tracks from Contra, but they sound like they were composed while drunk. The sound isn't better than "average unlicensed game" sound effects, either.

Gameplay:My controller isn't broken
The gameplay is, well, y'know, all the games that are said to have horrible control? Like Dragon's Lair and such? Yeah, those have NOTHING on this. At least those games actually accepted your button presses!

They tried to add a password system, but to my knowledge, it probably doesn't work. I say probably because I couldn't get past the first level, and I don't want to pull an Irate Gamer. While there is a two-player function, forgive me for shouting, but...

WHO IS GOING TO PLAY THIS WITH YOU?!

...Okay, now that I have that out of the way, let's get started with the biggest problem in the game...The controls. I'm wondering if they even tested this game before they rele- That's a stupid question. It's a bootleg, of course they didn't!

For whatever reason, you can't shoot and move at the same time. Literally, if you try to jump while shooting, it will not jump, no matter how much you hammer the button. Sometimes shooting doesn't respond if you have the default gun, sometimes the controls stop responding for a few seconds when you duck, the list goes on. THIS probably explains why I couldn't pass the first level.

The programming is also lousy. Sometimes you'll fall through a platform, sometimes an enemy will walk on thin air, sometimes you will shoot an enemy and the bullets will go right through him, sometimes, when you destroy a tank, its bullets become invisible, and sometimes a mine will explode at a certain distance and kill you, and sometimes it won't...

The weapons are here, but they're drastically changed. The Machine Gun(which is represented by an N, for some baffling reason) now shoots what look like marbles at a half-decent speed, the Laser shoots small laser shots, and there is no limit to how many there can be at a time, the Flamethrower shoots stars(!?) in a spiral pattern, and the Spread Gun shoots three slow marbles at straight and 45-degree angles(which is still the best weapon in the game).

Then, there's the level design. Well...it's awful. You just have to see it to believe how terrible it is. There's mines placed just so that it's almost impossible to get through without dying, because there's enemies constantly spawning and shooting there, as well as a tank shooting strings of three bullets at you at one part.

While the game may be overly difficult, it's only because of all its flaws. With the controls, programming, weapon selection, and level design against you, how can you win? The game's at an incredible advantage over you.

Final Rating:This Game Will Cause The Apocalypse

Final Thoughts:Truly, I don't even want to play this game any more. Though I should, I really don't want to. Mainly because there's so many other games I could be playing instead of this one. I'd rather play Action 52, Dick Tracy, and, well, just about any other bad game out there, because this game is far, far beyond bad.

Final Verdict:Guilty as charged. The game developers shall be put into prison until they can make a good game(in other words, for life), and all copies of this game shall be burned...
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-24-11
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05-21-12 03:20 PM
gamegeek is Offline
| ID: 587841 | 39 Words

gamegeek
Level: 21

POSTS: 71/78
POST EXP: 13789
LVL EXP: 48179
CP: 226.5
VIZ: 14996

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
XD Isn't it a bit much to say the game is the anti-christ?  A bad game does deserve to be marked as such, but saying it will bring about the end times is a bit of an over exaggeration.
XD Isn't it a bit much to say the game is the anti-christ?  A bad game does deserve to be marked as such, but saying it will bring about the end times is a bit of an over exaggeration.
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(self-proclaimed) Wii Master


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-03-10
Location: The Dark side of the Moon
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05-21-12 06:18 PM
DARKANINE is Offline
| ID: 587951 | 22 Words

DARKANINE
Level: 88


POSTS: 1331/2060
POST EXP: 54319
LVL EXP: 6540387
CP: 669.4
VIZ: 18383

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Seems good in a its so horrible its funny way like action 52
nice review but you acted like AVGN to much
Seems good in a its so horrible its funny way like action 52
nice review but you acted like AVGN to much
Trusted Member
Come along with me, to the butterflies and bees...


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-01-10
Location: North Carolina
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Last Active: 2592 days

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