So as several people have known, I basically quit running a little over a year ago, after almost dying in a race.

The race was so exhausting, that I eventually lost the will to run, and dropped off into obscurity.

I am joining a running club as I've said before, because I want to beat my mental block... but for the past couple days I wasn't sure of myself, and I was even less sure of my ability to follow through with this.

But something happened today when I talked to one of my best friends from high school.

We were talking and running came up, and we talked for a bit.

I then realized WHAT exactly my block was. And I know EXACTLY how to beat it.

See, my mental block stems from the situation I was in.

For this story, it is ESSENTIAL I say everything about my running career again, so listen closely.

When I started high school, I was one of the least athletic guys you'd ever see. I was still bullied in middle school, and I was one of the smaller kids in the grade. I was small, nerdy, and uncoordinated. But my best friend was a runner. One day I decided I was done with being the small nerdy kid who got picked on for tripping over his own feet, and he helped me join the Cross Country Team.

Once I joined, expectations were low. They knew and I knew that I was not a talented athlete. Yet I set my bar high. I said I would destroy him in a race one day, and I would work hard every day to best him.

The year came and went. I didn't improve terribly much, but I was able to finish a 5k without stopping. For my freshman year, I was unspectacular, but I was improving, even if slowly.

After the season, me and my family moved, and I had to transfer. But I promised him I'd stick with running, and I'd get back to him.

At the time, I had no intention of joining the other school's cross country team. I was set on being a normal high schooler, and running in my spare time. I had transfered in the middle of the year anyway, and their season had just ended. I ran very very rarely. And I got discouraged being in a new environment.

Then my sophomore year started, and the principal caught me running three times in the hall. He didn't really like this, so he sent me to the Guidance Counselor for tips on getting to class on time. I didn't really listen, and as soon as I got to leave, I ran to my next class like a dumbass. The guidance counselor called me back. I was almost out of ear shot, so I barely heard it. However, I went back as asked.

He noted how quick I was. This was his first time seeing me run in the halls. He was impressed, and then introduced himself as the assistant coach on the cross country team. He asked me to come to practice and I agreed. I met the team, and before I knew it, I had joined.

I also met a runner better than my friend (back at my old school, my friend was the top guy).

He ended up going to Dartmouth, and is kind of a good runner. His speed awes me to this day. But I learned a lot from him. For the time being, I set my goals higher than my friend. I had set my goals on one of the best, if not best runners in the state of Maine.

The season came and went, and I kept improving. I didn't break 20:00, but I was slowly getting better. The year taught me more about mental tenacity than anything.

At the end of my sophomore year, I transfered BACK to my old school. Back to my old stomping grounds, I wanted to destroy my friend. Because I had returned, and I wanted to fight. (not literally)

I was disappointed. He was taking the year off to do road races. (this both helped and hurt him. We'll get to that later.)

However, I fought on. It was my Junior year, and I'd improve again. Improve I did. Being one of the only people in my grade to run made my mental training that much harder. Nothing was expected of me, again, for the third year in a row. I was ok with this. I was not an athlete, and I was still rather small.

The season came and went, and I finished with much the same results as the previous season.

I was NOT satisfied. So I ran in the offseason with the intent not only to beat my friend, but to also bring the team to the state meet, and possibly beyond.

My senior season started. I was taller. Stronger. I was more intense, and more focused than I'd ever been in my life. I still wasn't expected to do much. (running theme)

Things went by as per usual. I was still JV. I still had a lot to work on. I started the season the same way I ended it.

But then my friend pantsed me in practice. To me, that was the last straw. Not only was I not expected to produce for the team, but I was a joke. They didn't respect me. I was fed up. So I finally got aggressive, and speared him to the ground. I then got up, did my normal stretches, and got ready for our out and back.

Once we started running, I was a completely different person.

I ran the fastest I had ever run, going about 3.5 miles in 20 minutes (yes, under 6.)

The coach pulled me aside once I got back, and noted how impressed he was with my time. He looked genuinely shocked.

He then told me, with speed like that, I could be a varsity runner easily, maybe even the third runner on the team. I had no words for it. I had finally awakened as a runner.

For the rest of the season (4 or 5 races), I kept improving. I got better and better in race situations. I hit Varsity one week as the 5th runner. Then the next week I got up to the third spot. Then I had another amazing race. And another.

Then came the regional meet. The first meet of the year everyone knows everyone. It's a meeting ground of the best runners in the region.

But none of them knew me. Most of the seniors knew the other senior runners, but for many of them, this was their first time seeing me in action. There were 2 people from other schools who knew who I was. One was a friend who had beaten me the week before at a 3 mile race by a few seconds. He was my target today. And one of them was a coach from a smaller school who had taken note of my strides to the top wondering where I came from.

But none of it mattered to me. No one expected me to realistically make it to the top.

The race started, and... well... needless to say, I kind of blew everyone away, finishing top 10 at regionals and earning my first ever medal (as well as beating my target by a few steps). When I was called up to the podium, people thought it was a fluke. That there was no way I'd be there again in a week. People didn't believe I had it in me to keep improving.

Next week at States... same situation, no one expected anything from me. Except me, and my teammates who were now believers in my own ability.

I got 8th. Yes, I improved 2 spots. It doesn't sound like much, but keep in mind this was the combined regional. The week before I only faced the runners from my region. Now I was facing everyone in our class basically. (Class C)

And not only that, but both races were held on the same hilly course. I improved my time by a half minute in only a week.

I genuinely shocked everyone again. It should have been enough to win states, but the back half of the team faltered, to make us lose by a point.

This season earned me a lot of praise. Something I wasn't used to. After the race, I met with the assistant coach of St. Joseph's College of Maine, and he said he'd love to have a runner like me on his team.

I was being scouted. It was a dream. I never even thought that possible.

Then I went to college.

And things changed.

People expected success. They expected greatness. I was the rookie ace, who had come to turn the college around. I thought that was what I wanted, but it was too much to handle.

I did well enough for a first season, but mentally, the season killed me.

I thrive on being the guy no one expects.

Now that I was expected, I no longer had that magic desire. Because I thought of myself as a great runner, I stopped being a great runner.

To make a long story short...

My mental block is that I had nothing to prove. I was "the best" so why bother getting better? I already know the result. I'll keep getting better, till I hit my limit. That never interested me.

Until now.

Now I have something to prove again, only this time it's to myself. I will keep improving till I hit my limit. Then try to break my limits.

As someone who broke his limits, I can say everyone can break limits. Even me.

That's great to see you going back to the Running business, its definitely brave of you after you quit when you nearly died. I'd probably never had any guts to do that, but you are getting somewhere with this. I say good luck to you.

Wow... this is really inspiring leggy. I have a few stories of my own that I would not mind sharing.... I think I will now... Thank you for the inspiration...

So I've been running the past couple days... and boy is it hard. Even when I was new to running I didn't have this much difficulty. I can go about a half mile before I lose my breath, although I am hopefully getting better.

I have read this post... twice.

Yet I do not really know why I have not posted in here yet. I am rooting for you man, keep trying. Keep achieving.

That's about all I have to say... I can be clumsy with words, but I am trying to say that it is great that you have started again and that I am hoping for the best out of you.