Hey guys, haven't posted in months, literally, but I feel the need to share my story, and I miss talking to you guys.
Anyways, so let's get right into it. Yesterday, I went on the first date in literally over a year. Why? I was so into studying & my hobbies that I literally forced myself to avoid all female interaction to prevent using my attention on non-productive things. About a week ago, I decided that my life is cruise-control enough to finally let a girl into my life! I met someone the day after I decided to finally open up, and we scheduled a date (yesterday). I was super confident it would be easy, I mean how hard could it be, right? Now, before I tell you meat of the story & the ultimate conclusion, let's go over some back story so I can tell you why I was so confident going into this thing.

Okay, so I have not been a shy/nervous person in over 6 months. I started YouTube (I will not share the channel name, not here for that) and I have grown insanely quickly. I live stream to many 1,000's of people a day, literally, and talk to most of the people in chat. I've been asked everything, I've been called everything, and I - up to this point - felt prepared for anything. Before YouTube, I was socially awkward. I have mild Asperger's, which I believe contributes to my lack of social motivation. However, after YouTube, I am very outgoing and always the life of the party. Nothing is too much for me to handle, and I am never the guy who's afraid to dance in public when everyone else is watching. In a sense, my hobby changed my entire personality for the better, and my hobby has since actually became my full time job (which is part of the reason I cut down on Vizzed time so much, though I may start coming back much more frequently). Long story short, I do not get nervous - I do not stay up at night thinking about what-ifs. I have grown thick skin and in public I am the personification of egotistic in terms of being unafraid of opinions.

Let's hop on back to where we were, the date. So it's all going well. She lives 15 minutes away, so I'm jamming out to tunes in the car on the way there. About half way there, I realized that I forgot to put my contacts in - which never happens. Unfortunately, I had already let her know I was coming, and I refuse to be late. With this realization, though, I'm still feeling really confident. The jams continue. Fast forward, I arrive at her driveway, and see her walking about. I pull up, she greets me, and I'm super happy to be there. Her cat chewed up her laptop cord, so we had to go to Best Buy so she could get a new one. We also stopped by the local pet store so she could pick up some stuff to hopefully prevent her cat from chewing the cord. Off note, that cat is beautiful, and I want to steal it. So we head back, she's telling me a lot about her life and I'm totally interested in literally all of it. Part of my job is hearing so many different stories, but hers was extra special because this wasn't part of the job.

Fast forward, we're chilling out, talking about life, and we decide to play Chinese checkers. Unfortunately, I've actually never played, so she whopped my butt and now has bragging rights. Somewhere around here is when I realized I was acting a bit odd. Whenever it was my turn to share a life event, or anything at all, I felt nervous and began to stumble upon thoughts, words, ideas, even body motions. It felt like 7th grade dating all over again, and I began to panic in my head. To be honest, realizing that I was painfully screwing up made me screw up even more. She seemed to be okay with it all, but then how could I possibly know? I mean on my face I'm calm and collected, yet in my mind I am the biggest idiot of 2016 - so who knows what she's thinking, right!?

Fast forward, we're now watching Netflix & she's introducing me to Anime. That's right, I never watched real anime before. This is where things got super cringe for me. We decided to watch on her macbook, and this is like the perfect chance for me to finally get close to her. Spoiler alert: I failed miserably and made it awkward. We originally started off close, and than my dumb butt decided to say I needed space, basically. I didn't mean it the way I said it, but I totally said it. So, she moves away. Then I move closer, and I do it again. Double fail. Oh, side note, the anime was called Tokyo Ghoul and it's awesome. So after the three episodes, we decide to watch a comedian, and I totally can't remember his name right now. Finally, I got close and managed to shut my mouth and not screw myself this time - it only took like 5 hours. We finished the show, and it was now a tad past 10pm, so it was time to go! She walks me out, and I get in my car ready to leave. The nerves in me resurface, and I pull the most rookie move of all time. Before I leave her driveway, I ask if it went well. What was I even thinking? I don't know. She said it went well, though we all know that you actually don't know.

I get home, worried I screwed up, and do what I do best. I edited videos until I fell asleep, get my mind off of it. This morning, I shot a simple good morning text, as I do with just about everyone I'm close to. I got on back, had a quick conversation, and everything seems well. This whole experience may be over, or it may not - the thing is, I just don't know. Dating is the most mysterious thing in the world.

The morale of the story is... No matter how in control I thought I was, or how prepared I thought I was - I wasn't. Talking to so many people in one day is amazing and has helped me in life a ton. Though, I think it goes to show, there's no preparing for talking to someone that you really, really are into. Here's to hoping for a successful future, and thanks for reading all the way to the bottom. It's good to be back Vizzed!

P.S. She's out of my league. Her personality is super chill and she's super beautiful. This probably adds to why it was so darn difficult. She's up there in Gold league, and I'm hoping she's cool with people in Silver league haha!

I think the best thing you can do is explain to her what you explained to us. Maybe not in absolutely every detail but let her know how you feel. Most people are extremely understanding of others when they know why someone acts the way they do. And most girls I know find it complementary if you tell them that you are nervous around them because you really like them or find them attractive. It can come across as creepy if you don't know them but if you already have a relationship going like you do it can be quite sweet.

I wouldn't stress too much or give up hope. Try to find another time to hang out again. Maybe spend a bit of time chatting online so you can talk without having to speak but still get to know each other.

Dude, no girl is out of anyone's league. One person and/or the other may need to change, but any relationship can work with effort and time. You may not know whether she likes you a lot or not, but a kiss isn't the do-all, end-all. It may jump-start a relationship, but personally? I don't wanna kiss until I'm married. If a girl has a problem with that, that's a deal-breaker. Others may place importance on that kiss on a date, and that may well be OK. But I don't. I don't want to jump into something like that. Waiting to kiss until I'm married has special significance to me. And besides that, I don't have the best breath

I'm no dating expert, but I want to date a girl I can get along with. I, too; have Asperger's and have only been on one date in my life. That doesn't mean I don't want to date. I do want to get back into the scene someday. I'm not ready yet...before that I need to get in public. Right now, I'm often glued to a computer. And I'm not driving myself right now because I'm not the safest driver on the planet. But I'm working on improving myself by doing stuff...I mean, I've let myself be cooped up for too long. I haven't even chatted with my family much. I let addiction get the best of me. It can be rough dealing with the aftereffects. Recovery is a long, hard process and it requires me to make changes...A LOT of them. I really hope to attend addiction recovery meetings when possible.

But thankfully, I have hope. Things are improving every day. And maybe I'll manage to get married in this lifetime Race ya there lol jk jk Anyhoo, I hope things work out between you two, even if you two don't kick it off big time. And I hope what I shared will help you in some way. Stay fresh!

I agree with supernerd. Forget all that league non-sense.
She seems to like you and its apparent you like her (most likely why you get so nervous around her).

I think the more time you spend together, the less nervous you will feel.

Good luck. :3

What I have learned living for whole 23 years. If you don't get nervous while one a date something is wrong. And no girl is out of your league. In my eye the people who says that want other people to give them compliments. Just jump into it. Me and my girlfriend agree. If the girl you like can sleep while cuddling with you right away. She is meant to be with you. Use that to test it. Just cuddle nothing else needed. That is what I what learned. But you most fail in the date scene to learn it the hard way. It will hurt but in the end is all worth it

There are no leagues. She's a girl, you're a boy, you're into the opposite gender, that's enough.

But, yeah, that went terrible. Somehow, she managed to get you to drive her around and do errands, which was good on her part, and if then you pulled a Safe Space card. I'm embarrassed for you.

Dating is easy. You talk to the other person, you listen to them, you ask questions, you invade their personal space. That's it.

And no, a girl sleeping while cuddling doesn't mean she's meant to be with you. Snuggles don't mean that's it and everything's good. You have to work harder at relationships the longer they go.

Anyway, you took your lumps, hopefully you learned something. Get back out there, ask her out again, or go find another girl to share time.

Being nervous is normal. It is like a fight,if you are not scared,you are either a liar or you are a fool. I think you still have a shot with her,give her  a call,let her know you enjoyed her company and take it from there.

First off: I'm really glad to hear your channel is doing so well. I still pop in sometimes too.

For your dating experience: I've only recently come to terms with what I'm about to say, and hopefully it helps you like it helped me.
You decide who you are. If someone is worth your time, they'll be cool with you just the way you are. If they ever make you feel like you aren't good enough, then that's their problem, not yours. Move on and be happy somewhere else. I wasted most of my late teens, early and mid twenties chasing after relationships that meant nothing and never succeeding (thankfully) in getting into said relationships because I didn't realize that *insert my real name here* was enough for a girl that was important enough to care about that way.

So yeah, you're going to goof up and do dumb, awkward stuff - all humans do. Just laugh at it and go on with life, enjoy who you are and find a nice girl who enjoys who you are too.

Good luck with the future man.

What a different amount of opinions! Thanks everyone for your opinion, I love the different view points and I do read them all to completion - I usually just wait until an update before replying - so here comes the reply.

We still talk daily, a lot. We have our inside jokes and will be hanging out again soon. She knows I was nervous, so it's all good. I haven't gone looking for alternative potential dates, because I don't have time and I'm hoping this works. If it doesn't, I'll most likely hop back into the search pool - but for now there's no need (I can barely afford time to sleep, let alone be chasing the wind). I would update further, but it's too early to tell where this is going, so I'll do individual responses.


geeogree : This is pretty much exactly what I did, so good thoughts on that. We've got some time until the next hang out, so it's plenty of time to work back into the comfort zone.


supernerd117 : Woah there, I ain't thinking about marriage quite yet! I just want a partner in crime haha! No, but seriously though I appreciate your input and I wish you the best of luck! I got to be honest, there's no way I'd wait past 3 dates for a kiss. If I don't get a kiss by date 2, it's bad, but date 3? It's not happening ha. I totally respect your viewpoint though man, and I can share the struggle of Asperger's with you. We got it a bit more rough because we aren't the most social people in the world by nature - that, and as per the condition we tend to focus extremely hard on what we want, so break ups and screw ups (at anything we focus on) hurts us pretty good.


Vanelan : Thanks for the wish of good luck! I understand that the league thing is a bit untrue. It does carry some weight though, if you, for instance, are a great looking person dating a less attractive person - you may find temptation to cheat pretty easy. In comparison, if you are a less attractive person dating a very attractive person - you may find temptation to cheat not necessary. There's obviously no facts behind these thoughts, just what I have gathered over the years of personal knowledge.

I WIn Also : I agree that nervousness is important to an extent. If I wasn't a tad nervous, I'd be curious as to why. Though, I was extremely nervous which is out of character. I don't know though! The cuddle test thing sounds a bit too out there for me, but I appreciate the thought! I just would rather spend my time chatting than sleeping ha. We only get 24 hours in a day, don't want to waste it - I'm too busy for that ha! If failure occurs, it will be taken as a learning experience for sure! Thanks again for the input, man!

Ghostbear1111 : Fair point on the leagues. She actually drove around, she offered and I wasn't about to be like "nah, I like driving too much" so we went in her car. Thanks for being embarrassed for me lol. Dating is easy, sure - I agree honestly. The only hard date is the first one. Next date will be easy because I've gotten the first impression mentality out of the way. She knows much more about me than I know about her due to her watching my streams, so it's a tad difficult to want to talk about myself when I spill my life story every single day to my viewers - her being one of them. Thanks for the words near the end, I have already begun setting up the second date, so we'll see how that goes - though I've never failed after the second date. Let's hope luck doesn't change today.

Oldschool777 : Agreed brother! I have let her know, and we are working on it! Thanks for the advice man!

Eirinn : Thanks man, yeah I take my channel seriously. I was able to actually quit my full time job and switch to YouTube, which was a huge step for me. It's growing at an insane rate, and I'm so happy about it - but back on topic. She's totally okay with who I am. She knows way more about me than anyone probably should on a first date due to her being in my streams. It actually took some pressure off of me because I was able to just listen to her story and not really have to share my own. She's an athletic gamer who has amazing ambition. That sentence barely seems legal, so I'd like to think that I won't have many opportunities to find someone like her again. Being a gamer is kind of important to me. It's not just a hobby, it's my dang job! Thanks for the advice brother, nice talking to you again!

Skilledtree : The cuddle test can also work while watching a movie and she is laying in your arms. I remember when I was meeting this girl for the first time. I was so nervous that I almost forgot my name. So its normal to be nervous when meeting a girl. Always glad that I could help you

Don't feel so ashamed. Honestly, everyone makes mistakes. She might not even mind all that much. Don't get stressed out. Instead of regretting your past mistakes, learn from them when adapting to the present. You, like all humans, have infinite potential to grow out of your shell and become who you want to be. Take it from me. 

I'm pretty sure this is completely normal, though it may vary in intensity from person to person. Everyone wants to impress, or at least make a good impression for someone they care about / are attracted to enough to take on a date. To this day I still get a tiny bit nervous even just about spending time with a person I've been with for over a couple months. Even at that point, you want to make sure you don't do anything to screw up their impression of you, and possibly cause them to reject you unnecessarily (though depending on what it is you do, it might be a little harsh of them to do so. A lot of people are like that, sadly).

More than anything, my advice would just be to try and remember what is and isn't under your control, and only worry about  what it is you can do. Even at your best, there will be people who just aren't into you, and that's a part of life we all must come to accept. If you try your best to show the best side of yourself, sooner or later someone will come along that will be interested, as long as you're social enough to be meeting new people. And who says a little nervousness is a bad thing? It helps keep you sharp as long as it's not in excess

Yeah, I have been through and think most guys also. But I try to come over it by chatting.