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Final Paper for English Composition I

 

12-05-16 04:53 PM
thing1 is Offline
| ID: 1318520 | 1038 Words

thing1
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Alright, so I still have another hour and 45 minutes before I have to turn this in, so any kind of feedback would be grateful. What I'm really looking for is feedback about my grammar, and if I could potentially change any of my wording. 
I want to turn this in withing 45 to 60 minutes after I submit this paper, so getting your feedback ASAP is imperative. If you give me some feedback, regardless if I take it and use it or not, I'll send you some Viz
Note: Don't worry about paragraph indention. 



ENGL – 1100 – 078
Political Bias? Or Objective Individual?            
   This semester has been quite the learning experience for me. Take English Composition I for example: so much new information crammed into this little head of mine in just three and a half months. I never knew that there was so much to know when it came to writing. I mean, sure, or course I knew about having to cite the articles I referenced, but argumentative papers? Informative papers? Analytical? To me, before the
start of this semester, they were all the same; you just write, and what you wrote was your paper.
   At the beginning of the semester, we had to choose a topic that resonated with ourselves. I chose towrite about Colin Kaepernick and his protests that took place during the National Anthem. I chose that because it was personal. Me being a veteran of the United States Army, I felt disrespected; why would you kneel during our National Anthem, during the presentation of our country’s flag that I signed a blank check and was willing to die for?
   At the beginning of the semester, we had to write an informative paper about our topic of choice. Having not been in school where I had to any kind of writing in almost five years, I was worried. I was always pretty decent with grammar, punctuation, and wording, but using the bigger “smart” words, transitioning from paragraph to paragraph, and getting my introductory paragraphs just right were never a strong suite of mine.
   The thing I was worried about the most was can I be unbiased with my topic? With the topic hitting so close to the heart for me, I thought it would be pretty difficult to be objective; turns out it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I expected it to be. Since I was merely informing my readers of the topic, I had no need to get personal with the topic; I just needed to say what was going on, why it was going on, and make sure that I wasn’t showing just one side of the argument.
   Then, for the second paper, we had to analyze the topic of choice. I decide to analyze the effects of those who had decided to join the protests. That didn’t prove to be too difficult, but once again, I had to try my best to stay unbiased, and to my credit, it was once again not as difficult as I had thought that it would be. In order to make my work better for the second round, I had to do more research than anything else, other than writing and editing the paper itself.
   By the time the third and final paper came around, I was a lot more confident in my work. I had greatly improved my transitioning from paragraph, I was using more big words, and I knew which articles I wanted to use in my paper, rather than forcing a reference in there, and then figuring out how it worked with the rest of my paper. I also decided try a different way of setting time aside for the paper. Instead of just doing whatever, whenever, I set aside one and a half hour blocks, and I just let my fingers move across the keyboard, letting my mind do all the work, while my brain looked at it and corrected it, fixed and cleaned up the thoughts I was trying to convey. Essentially what I did was not change how I wrote, just when I wrote. And it proved to be very useful. When it comes to how you feel about what grade you might get on a paper or test, this was the
one I was most confident with.
   Next semester, I have to take Writing Composition II, and unfortunately, when I registered, the only time that Professor Chesanuik was available was just not going to work for me. I would have liked to stick with her, because the way she teaches, it just works for me. I’m one of those strange people that need visual aids, and then show me how to do it. Most teachers will just tell you how to do something, and expect you to do it; not Mrs. Chesanuik, she teaches me just the way I need to be taught. Yeah, it might be selfish of me, but why shouldn’t I be a little selfish when my drive for success is so strong? Mrs. Chesanuik understands what I’ve been through somewhat, what with her husband being in the military, so that was a great help. I guess I’m just scared that next semester won’t be as easy. Not in the sense of the grade, but how naturally everything came and how I learned.
   Had I known that I would have to keep the same topic for the entire semester, and write about it in 3 different ways, I probably would have chosen something else. But, give credit where credit is due, Professor Kristina Chesanuik taught me a lot. She must have an amazing amount of patience, because I know I can be difficult, but she helped me multiple times throughout the semester. And for that, I am thankful. I truly believe that thanks to her, I am better equipped to write papers for whatever college course might assign me. I might have to write something in my junior
year for a Computer Science class, or even my public speaking class next semester, but thanks to what I have learned this semester, I feel I am better equipped to handle it. I will definitely be keeping my notes around for years to come to reference.
Alright, so I still have another hour and 45 minutes before I have to turn this in, so any kind of feedback would be grateful. What I'm really looking for is feedback about my grammar, and if I could potentially change any of my wording. 
I want to turn this in withing 45 to 60 minutes after I submit this paper, so getting your feedback ASAP is imperative. If you give me some feedback, regardless if I take it and use it or not, I'll send you some Viz
Note: Don't worry about paragraph indention. 



ENGL – 1100 – 078
Political Bias? Or Objective Individual?            
   This semester has been quite the learning experience for me. Take English Composition I for example: so much new information crammed into this little head of mine in just three and a half months. I never knew that there was so much to know when it came to writing. I mean, sure, or course I knew about having to cite the articles I referenced, but argumentative papers? Informative papers? Analytical? To me, before the
start of this semester, they were all the same; you just write, and what you wrote was your paper.
   At the beginning of the semester, we had to choose a topic that resonated with ourselves. I chose towrite about Colin Kaepernick and his protests that took place during the National Anthem. I chose that because it was personal. Me being a veteran of the United States Army, I felt disrespected; why would you kneel during our National Anthem, during the presentation of our country’s flag that I signed a blank check and was willing to die for?
   At the beginning of the semester, we had to write an informative paper about our topic of choice. Having not been in school where I had to any kind of writing in almost five years, I was worried. I was always pretty decent with grammar, punctuation, and wording, but using the bigger “smart” words, transitioning from paragraph to paragraph, and getting my introductory paragraphs just right were never a strong suite of mine.
   The thing I was worried about the most was can I be unbiased with my topic? With the topic hitting so close to the heart for me, I thought it would be pretty difficult to be objective; turns out it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I expected it to be. Since I was merely informing my readers of the topic, I had no need to get personal with the topic; I just needed to say what was going on, why it was going on, and make sure that I wasn’t showing just one side of the argument.
   Then, for the second paper, we had to analyze the topic of choice. I decide to analyze the effects of those who had decided to join the protests. That didn’t prove to be too difficult, but once again, I had to try my best to stay unbiased, and to my credit, it was once again not as difficult as I had thought that it would be. In order to make my work better for the second round, I had to do more research than anything else, other than writing and editing the paper itself.
   By the time the third and final paper came around, I was a lot more confident in my work. I had greatly improved my transitioning from paragraph, I was using more big words, and I knew which articles I wanted to use in my paper, rather than forcing a reference in there, and then figuring out how it worked with the rest of my paper. I also decided try a different way of setting time aside for the paper. Instead of just doing whatever, whenever, I set aside one and a half hour blocks, and I just let my fingers move across the keyboard, letting my mind do all the work, while my brain looked at it and corrected it, fixed and cleaned up the thoughts I was trying to convey. Essentially what I did was not change how I wrote, just when I wrote. And it proved to be very useful. When it comes to how you feel about what grade you might get on a paper or test, this was the
one I was most confident with.
   Next semester, I have to take Writing Composition II, and unfortunately, when I registered, the only time that Professor Chesanuik was available was just not going to work for me. I would have liked to stick with her, because the way she teaches, it just works for me. I’m one of those strange people that need visual aids, and then show me how to do it. Most teachers will just tell you how to do something, and expect you to do it; not Mrs. Chesanuik, she teaches me just the way I need to be taught. Yeah, it might be selfish of me, but why shouldn’t I be a little selfish when my drive for success is so strong? Mrs. Chesanuik understands what I’ve been through somewhat, what with her husband being in the military, so that was a great help. I guess I’m just scared that next semester won’t be as easy. Not in the sense of the grade, but how naturally everything came and how I learned.
   Had I known that I would have to keep the same topic for the entire semester, and write about it in 3 different ways, I probably would have chosen something else. But, give credit where credit is due, Professor Kristina Chesanuik taught me a lot. She must have an amazing amount of patience, because I know I can be difficult, but she helped me multiple times throughout the semester. And for that, I am thankful. I truly believe that thanks to her, I am better equipped to write papers for whatever college course might assign me. I might have to write something in my junior
year for a Computer Science class, or even my public speaking class next semester, but thanks to what I have learned this semester, I feel I am better equipped to handle it. I will definitely be keeping my notes around for years to come to reference.
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12-05-16 05:21 PM
Lexatom is Offline
| ID: 1318523 | 217 Words

Lexatom
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I'm just gonna make a list of things I see. Most of them will probably be small things, so apologies if I sound nitpicky. Also, don't worry about the viz, I don't need any, although I appreciate the offer.

- "or course I knew about..." I think you misspelled 'of'
- "I chose towrite..." There needs to be a space between 'to' and 'write'
- "I felt disrespected;..." I think there should be a period in place of the semi colon.
- "where I had to any kind of..." There should be a 'do' in front of 'to'
- "I decide to analyze..." 'Decide' should be put in past tense by making it 'decided'
- "transitioning from paragraph..." Try to put 'from paragraph to paragraph' or 'from one paragraph to another'
- "I also decided try..." There should be a 'to' before 'try'
- "just when I wrote. And it proved..." 'and' should always be put after a comma, not a period.

I'm just a Sophomore in high school, so sorry if I'm not that much help. This is a really good paper. I wouldn't be worried if I were you, as long as those grammar mistakes are fixed. Even if they weren't fixed, I'd give my student a good grade if I was a teacher.

I'm just gonna make a list of things I see. Most of them will probably be small things, so apologies if I sound nitpicky. Also, don't worry about the viz, I don't need any, although I appreciate the offer.

- "or course I knew about..." I think you misspelled 'of'
- "I chose towrite..." There needs to be a space between 'to' and 'write'
- "I felt disrespected;..." I think there should be a period in place of the semi colon.
- "where I had to any kind of..." There should be a 'do' in front of 'to'
- "I decide to analyze..." 'Decide' should be put in past tense by making it 'decided'
- "transitioning from paragraph..." Try to put 'from paragraph to paragraph' or 'from one paragraph to another'
- "I also decided try..." There should be a 'to' before 'try'
- "just when I wrote. And it proved..." 'and' should always be put after a comma, not a period.

I'm just a Sophomore in high school, so sorry if I'm not that much help. This is a really good paper. I wouldn't be worried if I were you, as long as those grammar mistakes are fixed. Even if they weren't fixed, I'd give my student a good grade if I was a teacher.

Vizzed Elite
The Dragon of Rock Bottom


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-30-13
Location: Denver, CO
Last Post: 551 days
Last Active: 269 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: thing1,

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