Final Weapon : I think it's wonderful you're making an effort. Depression is never easy to deal with. I used to be really depressed as a teen, and it's taken a lot of time to get to where I am (and sometimes I can still see it seep in). Be proud of any progress you make, and if you ever need someone to listen you can PM me.

I'm working on a bad habit I have.

Sometimes it's like I "disappear". It's like all my emotions and everything that defines me as a person just vanishes and I become "empty". Other people finds this strange of course because they get the impression that I'm offended, which I'm not. These situations tend to turn into arguments, because it happens very sudden and I don't even realize it. I'm working on this, and I'm trying to find a way to "reach" myself when it's like that. But it's really hard, how am I supposed to realize what I'm doing if I can't think? I finally managed to accept that this is a part of my personality and hopefully that will help me to move on and learn to handle it.

0ddie : That sounds similar to dissociation, which is what I still can sometimes do (and I used to have it really bad in my teens and early twenties). Just remember - progress not perfection.

I am trying to change a few bad habits I have.

Sometimes I start growing distant from people, and my fear of rejection actually causes me to reject others.
 And also, I care about people a lot. But when I'm in a bad mood...Oh boy. It's like I am a totally different person than who I am on the inside. I hate that, and am trying to change it.
And finally, I've had manic depression for the better part of 6 years now. I have mostly turned that around (mostly thanks to you guys). But every now and then I fall into it still. I'm sure one day it will go away completely. That just won't be today.

A user of this : "Sometimes I start growing distant from people, and my fear of rejection actually causes me to reject others.
And also, I care about people a lot. But when I'm in a bad mood.." -- It felt like you were describing me. I'm happy to hear that you've made progress with your depression! Progress not perfection.

I'm working on being more open to people.

From when I was in First Grade, I've been secluded and wouldn't show who I truly was. I was like a computer program; always being commanded to act or feel for people's enjoyment. If they didn't need me, I would sit in the corner and turn on my "sleep mode" till further commands. The reason for this was because I've been hurt before and didn't want to experience that kind of pain again. So, I thought it'd be easier to allow people to have their way and not face the arguments or negative aspects... unless they started to get violent, because that's a no-no in my book. However, I found out what having a true friend was like and it was pretty amazing. I started to open up to them, and they gave me some helpful advice. They helped me break free of my "code" and I was able to express what I really thought and felt in public. It was scary, yes, but it felt good. A scary kind of good.

So, that's what I'm trying to work on for now; being more open with people! Even if I do get hurt, I can always bounce right back up again.

I'm working on being more expressive.

Usually in a large group or small group of people, no matter what I'm always quiet and mostly nervous or anxious about what I'm going to say. Sometimes what I think isn't even a big deal, but I'm so paranoid about what might happen if I said that certain thing. It's not that I'm an introvert or shy, I am very open to most people. It's just sometimes I do that certain action around people I barely know or I'm meeting for the first time.