The Starrdust Systers are back in the latest underwhelming installment of the RPG series dozens--nay--several people have been waiting for. This time, the fate of the galaxy is at stake as the evil Ice Dius threatens to activate his galactic doomsday device, and the recently honored Heroines of the Galaxy must fight their way through countless archaic turn-based battles with uninspired foes to put an end to his equally uninspired plans. What this game lacks in story and gameplay, however, makes up for in beauty and absurdity that leaves me both breathless and befuddled, but far from entertained. If only he were still with us to witness this.


Graphics: 9 / 10

Despite all the faults of Starrdust Systers II: Galaxy Forever, one cannot help but to be "starrstruck" by the picture of the cosmos that unfolds before your eyes as you explore the galaxy. Whether you're dazzled by your colorful and spectacular special attacks, in awe of the uniqueness and diversity of character and setting designs, or simply stargazing between adventures, the entire experience is the very definition of eye candy. It almost makes you forget how mediocre the rest of the game is. Almost. There are, however, some strange and unfortunate graphical glitches that keep this game just shy of a perfect score in the graphics department. One's immersion suffers when suddenly the galaxy turns into a black, endless void, and the cutesy Starrdust Systers fail to render their irises, gazing at you with their great, big, dead eyes.


Sound: 6 / 10

The energetic electronic soundtrack that accompanies your cliché interstellar quest is fitting, but unremarkable. Keep some extra cash in your pocket and skip out on the Soundtrack Bundle for this one. These upbeat tunes may appeal to you at first, but by the end of this surprisingly lengthy game with surprisingly few songs, you'll be glad to never hear them again. Where Starrdust Systers II: Galaxy Forever really suffers, however, is in the voice acting. One of the titular sisters is so obnoxious and blaring, she would put a fire alarm to shame, while the other has about as much passion in her voice acting as a cold bucket of mud. Luckily, most of the voice work is confined to a fairly small number of cutscenes, so it can be safely forgotten for most of the experience. However, occasional muttering can be heard in the background throughout the game, but it's barely audible and does not impact the game.


Story: 5 / 10

Saving the galaxy from an evil villain and his doomsday device is already an unoriginal plot, but Starrdust Systers II: Galaxy Forever goes above and beyond in the unoriginality department by rehashing almost the exact same plot from Starrdust Systers: Heroines of the Galaxy. You think there would be a twist somewhere down the line, but, disappointingly, this is not the case. Much like the main plot, the characters themselves are bland and shallow. However, this game's subplots come out of nowhere, confuse you with their ridiculousness, and then leave as if nothing ever happened. One chapter has you visit an "alien planet" that happens to be Earth, and you wind up blowing the planet up "for the good of the galaxy" without any further commentary. Another chapter inexplicably starts killing off all the main characters before it's revealed to all be "just a nightmare." Finally, one of the chapters breaks the fourth wall as the main villain goes on a quest to save the life of you, the player. These nonsensical moments contribute nothing to the overall game or story besides making it hard to predict, and I don't need to be saved anyway.


Fun: 5 / 10

With a design philosophy dating back to the dawn of RPGs, Starrdust Systers II: Galaxy Forever leaves a lot to be desired. The random encounters with simple turn-based combat from the previous game are retained in full, meaning horrible monstrosities hit you when you least expect it, but you have all the time you need to contemplate the choices that will decide your fate. They are relentless, and you will have to drag yourself through countless encounters with the same nightmares before you reach the end. This repetitive gameplay, combined with the lackluster skill system, crushes any sense of enjoyability your life may have had. Its only redeeming factor is that it's never unclear what to do or where to go, so the path to the end is dull and slow, but not punishing. Yet I still yearn for the icy claws of death to rip me from this eternal void.


Control: 7 / 10

The controls for Starrdust Systers II: Galaxy Forever, while basic, are well suited to give you full control over your destiny, no matter what the others say. I wish they would stop looking at me like that, though. I guess I can't control everything, but at least my own fate is in my hands. It's very lonely out here, but the more they try to help, the darker my world becomes. I can choose to keep running, but what's the point? It's just going to be the same thing over and over again, but he's never going to come back. I'm in control now, and instead of fighting my demons and face a losing battle with my own flesh, I choose to give up.


Difficulty: 0 / 10

Was this a hard decision? No. It was the easiest decision I ever made. I'm so tired. All of these games, but never any purpose. But, hey, it was only a game, right? There's no shame in putting down the controller, walking away, and finding something more meaningful as soon as the experience becomes an empty waste of time. It's what they always told us to do, isn't it? Besides, I don't think it was a game I could ever win. I've made too many mistakes, and I've done too many horrible things. It doesn't matter anymore. Oh, the Starrdust Systers? I'm sure they'll miss me, and I never know what they'll get themselves into, but I'm sure they can save the galaxy without me. They've already done it once before.... To be honest, I'm terrified. I'm not sure what lies in the abyss below. I just know that I must jump. That is the tru7h.


Overall: 6 / 10

It was fun while it lasted, but I won't be coming back. See you on the other side.


-Landrew L. Sly