I know that Gauntlet has been a long-standing classic for arcade gamers and hack-and-slash fans alike, but there are not many aspects of this game worthy of such praise. You start the game in a room, then you see enemies, and then you kill them. Then, there are stairs and doors to other rooms. You enter that room to find pretty much the same thing. Normally, I review games that catch my interest, but every now and then I will throw a review out there to help everyone steer clear of rotten eggs; this is one such egg.

<><><><><>Graphics: 3/10<><><><><>

Alright, I realize that this game is outdated, but I have seen better graphics on an Intellivision. With the games out there that existed for the same system, I think the developers could have produced a much better product graphics-wise. Some sprites are repeatedly used for the same enemies or items, causing confusion and frustration. It doesn't help that everything is the same color, either; the wall and floor tiles can be hard to differentiate from, leaving you with eyestrain long after play. Honestly, the graphics alone make it almost impossible to play. Do you want to spend hours out of your day trying to traverse similar-looking pixel mazes as hoards of unforgiving enemies assail you? I know I don't.

<><><><><>Sound: 5/10<><><><><>

The sound-effects are about the only thing that I found mildly attractive. You have your classic Gauntlet voice-overs, announcing every five minutes that you are about to meet your ultimate end. The enemy attack sounds, cries of pain, and bleeping of items took me back to a simpler time when there was still a good use for quarters. A soundtrack is basically non-present, as the only time you will hear a jingle or two is when you progress forward a floor. This may have been a good idea, seeing as the early handheld systems had issues with sound-effects and music flowing smoothly together. The nostalgic ambiance of the arcade, combined with poor-quality vocals are worth a few laughs, but it's not something that will keep you playing through and through.

<><><><><>Addictiveness: 3/10<><><><><>

Even if all other aspects of the game were astounding, there is not a lot of replay value or excitement to be had. As I previously stated, most everything on each floor looks similar to floors you have already completed. You can only see the same items and enemies so many times over before you become sick of seeing them. For me, this game is about as fun as exploring the woods for hours, only to discover you have been circling the same tree for the entire time. It is very unrewarding, and not worth the trouble to exhaust yourself. If you are the type of person that has the patience required for extensive play of this nature, you would be better off finding a repetitious job; at least then you would be getting paid for it.

<><><><><>Story: 2/10<><><><><>

As most of the other Gauntlet titles go, a storyline is virtually non-existent. You pick a character, you kill things, and then you progress to the next area. Rinse and repeat. I think it may have to do with some sort of magic artifact or evil wizard, but I am not impressed, regardless. Even if the game had a phenomenal story with surprising twists, it would be hard to stomach the gameplay until the very end. The bad news, is that it lacks in both story and gameplay. The good news, is that we no longer live in a generation where we have to rely on such mindlessness for our entertainment. Thanks, but I think I'll stick with my ball-in-a-cup.

<><><><><>Depth: 4/10<><><><><>

I've read nutrition labels deeper than this. The game is long and drawn out, and it definitely takes awhile to complete, but the same bland goals and actions in each level seal its fate long before you reach the end. You would be better off watching a video of the ending, as you would be saving yourself hours of precious life that you will wish you had back. That is honestly all I can say about the depth, so for the amount of ranting and raving that I usually do, my silence speaks volumes.

<><><><><>Difficulty: 8/10<><><><><>

I don't know if it's challenging, or just inexcusably frustrating. The jerky movement of the characters in combination with the honed A.I. of the enemies calls for a recipe of some major rage-quit. Not only does the framerate come to a grinding halt due to the overload of activity on the tiny screen, but the fact that all of the playable characters are severely underpowered doesn't provide much remedy to the situation. Top it all off with opponents whom basically topple one-another at a chance to rip you limb-from-limb, and your chances of survival are obsolete. In fact, I am so positive that you will not complete this game without dying, I would bet my entire reputation as a gamer. Considering the amount of abuse your character will endure, and the amount of food they will have to eat in order to survive critical wounds (how that works is beyond my understanding), be glad that it's just a game.

<><><><><>Overall: 3.5/10<><><><><>

To put it bluntly, this is one title in the Gauntlet series that you may want to avoid. The poor presentation of the game in its entirety is worth a few laughs, at best. If you want to put forth the effort to painfully grind through it just for personal accomplishment, then more power to you, but be warned that there are far more productive things that you could be doing. I mean, you could be watching television- wait, bad example; just heed the warning and do something else. Though given the circumstances, you may find yourself playing just to see if it really is that bad, in which case I forgive you. But anyway, back to the topic on hand; the review wrap-up. If you are just looking for a few minutes to reminisce about the good ol' days, you are better off busting out the Silly-Putty. Enough said.

This discouraged me from playing this game!