Ok, these reviews I do before I am a staff member will be to practice and warm up on being pretty consistent at 1 review/week rules. (I am not spamming the thing about being staff, I will just simply work on some reviews before my time will come to start as a reviewer. )


My reaction to reviewing Pokemon Dash: Let's put down that horrible Pokemon Channel and crank up the rage dial! I got Pokemon Dash, on C, D, IIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! Fooled you, it is the Nintendo DS. This game sucks hard. )

Instructions in my words: In order to play the game, it is simple, just use the stylus (the bottom screen) and swipe that yellow rat in the direction you need to go. In races and time trial, you have to get through the race touching the checkpoints in the order it tells you to. It is always the same path. To win, you will have to be fast, and swipe the stylus fast too, to get to the goal before your opponents. Let's cover the basics. In Grand Prix, the points you get after a race depends on your position, 1st gets 8, 2nd is 6, 3rd is 4, 4th is 2, 5th is 1, and 6th gets no points. The most points in 5 races wins the cup and you will unlock the next cup. In practice, (you can't skip it at savefile creation) you go through the ways of playing the game by racing the slowest racer (I believe) in the game, Munchlax. (You can't lose, it is only a training mode.) in the bonus modes, you need a GBA Pokemon Ruby / Sapphire / Emerald cartridge in the DS. The higher level your pokemon in the GBA cart, the more time you have to beat the levels in hugely zoomed in pixels of the pokemon sprites that you have.

End of instructions.


About the graphics?

For graphics, they are DS quality, but at the time of the release in 2004, Nintendo almost started building the Nintendo Wii, a good discovery. Back to the game, it is just your ordernary (I can't spell that word for some reason) expectations for graphics, so no other saying here.

Rating of graphics: 6/10 (-4 because of DS quality. Overused.)


Sound?

For sounds, they throw in the same pokemon sounds especially from the yellow rat of death (YROD) but put in completly original music. -2 points for recycling pokemon sounds, but hey, it isn't that bad because the same game company used the sounds, so that is a good excuse. I can't complain.

Rating of sounds: 8/10


Is this game addicting?

How addicting is this game? Oh my god, this is the absolute worst game of the DS library. Even worse, it is the worst of the DS history mainly because of two reasons. One, 100% linear. Two, Pikachu. Pikachu is why this game is that bad, it is almost as bad as Pokemon Channel, but that is the worst game in the Gamecube and probably whole Nintendo history. The "real" worst games ever were E.T and Pac-Man on the Atari 2600.

Rating of addictiveness: 3/10

Forgot to mention, getting through the game is a clusterhell of frustration when you get to the last 5 cups at Lava Island. (I never played in months, so I don't know the name.)


Story? NNNOOOOOO.

That's right, no storyline in the game whatsoever. There isn't anything to say, so let me quote this from omochao: "You got a free section to skip!" (Not a real quote. )

So for story rating? N/A.


How hard is this game?

It is the exact damn opposite of impossible, this game is so easy, but the Grand Prix is the problem, most of the time, you can rage just because you keep losing in the last course of cups.

Rating of difficulty: 4/10


How much depth does this game have?

I got to say, the only depth is the Grand Prix! How many times have I said Grand Prix in this one review? 2? Maybe 3?

Amount of depth: 2/10 (Has a save feature. )


How is this game rated from all the things to review?

This is by far the WORST DS game I have ever seen/played. Just to showcase, here is my chart of most hated games in modern consoles:

Pokemon Channel, GameCube.
Pokemon Dash, DS. (Pokemon Conquest too, it was a tie.)
Pokepark 1 & 2, Wii.

You know how I feel about the yellow rat, although he may be cute, he doesn't have to create a freaking cluster of cuteness to force you to loving him. I heard that pikachu's secret is to hypnotize you.

So... This game sucks, and if I see pikachu ever again, (I easily will.) I will throw a pikachu into a huge river so he dies.

Overall rating: 4.7

This game wasn't worth it, really, it just isn't. It is a waste of money, same with Pokemon Channel.

This pokemon game sound so horrible, and your review said it too. Why the heck Nintendo make this type of games for pokemon? Good review too.

Welly rounded reveiw.  Not many people usually make reviews on horrible games.  Nice Job.

Mobouis1 : Pokemon racing games suck! Mario and Sonic racing games are the best for me. Also, the word dash makes me think of freaking Fluttershy Dash from MLP. God, I freaking hate those ponies.

mr.pace : I reviewed good games and some bad, but I am more of a AVGN fan because I am now going to review more bad games than good now. It may not be normal, but hey, it just depends if you had frustration in your past like me at 9 years old on the NES and AVGN (AKA James Rolfe) when he was 7 with Super Mario Bros on NES.


Ok guys, I feel really motivated to be reviewing. It really means so much now. Compare how much improvement I made for reviewing in almost 8 months. I went from barely 100 words to as much as 650-1000 word reviews. 650 was a couple months ago. Now, I go to above 700 and 750 words in reviews, such a big improvement.


Want a sneak peek at my next review? My next review will be... Pac-Man on NES, and Ms. Pac-Man on SNES.

That's right, my next review will be a 2 review in 1. JK, I will review Pac-Man now, the Ms. Pac-Man review will be in the future.