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NovemberJoy
05-31-12 11:15 PM
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thing1
05-31-12 11:17 PM
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One of many bad Bible-based games

 
Game's Ratings
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5.6
4
2
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2
10
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NovemberJoy's Score
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05-31-12 11:15 PM
NovemberJoy is Offline
| ID: 593020 | 1533 Words

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Ah, Bible Adventures, another bad game to add to the pile of bad Bible/Christian games. Well, I have a lot to say about this one...

Graphics - Barely better than the NES version
While this game has improved a little, it's still not good, even by Genesis standards. Sprites don't have too much detail, backgrounds are flat, and everything just looks ugly, especially the animation.

Music/Sound - "Who got the composer drunk?!"
Y'know, I wouldn't be that surprised if that line was actually said in the Wisdom Tree company. Throughout all 3 games, during gameplay, you hear this horrible unfitting off-key piano music. The best part is that you can turn the music off. The sound effects aren't much better...

Gameplay - Zzzzzz...
Simply put, the gameplay is boring, and no fun. Really, through the entire game, it feels more like you're doing menial work rather than playing a video game. It's that boring and tedious.

First of all, the controls feel like your character is covered in lubricant, because it's just so slippery. Your character slips and slides everywhere, and has a bad habit of sliding off of small platforms. But guess what? Most of the platforms, especially in the later levels, are small, which makes platforming a pain. You can walk normally, but you just want to get this game DONE and OVER WITH, so most people will try to dash as much as possible. Also, despite the Genesis controller having three face buttons, running and picking up/throwing items are both mapped to the same button. It probably would've been better for them to map jumping to the B button and use the other two buttons for running and picking up/throwing items.

In this game, there's actually three different games, each with its own gimmick. Let's look at them all, in order. Of course, all of these games have some elements in common with each other. All of them are about bringing object(s) to a designated point, and all of them have you collecting tablets to restore health. Of course, every time you pick up a tablet, the game feeds you a verse from the Bible, which gets somewhat annoying when you pick up the same tablet and get the same verse several times, since you can't skip these verses. Why not have a bunch of verses, and have them randomly selected each time you get a tablet? Yes, you theoretically could still get the same verse twice, but the likelihood of it would be really, really slim.

Noah's Ark - The worst of the bunch
This is the most boring game out of the three, and the most tedious as well. Basically, God is going to flood the world because of all the wickedness, and Noah is the only good man left, along with his family. God tells Noah to build an Ark, and take two of each unclean animal, male and female, and seven of each clean animal, into the Ark with him. Of course, in this game, Noah has to go find the animals himself and put them into the Ark. But, he is not without God's help. Y'know why I say that? Because Noah can pick up a horse, a cow, and basically anything else with relative ease, and he runs so fast that he can actually outrun the scrolling speed, so you have to either walk or stop running to let the screen catch up.

Of course, you need two of all the animals that are on any given level's list, and you need to get them into the Ark. Whether you get them into the Ark is a different story, since actually picking the animals up is a little more difficult than it sounds. Birds fly away from you, some animals, like pigs and pandas, must be knocked out before you can pick them up, and animals like horses, monkeys, and raccoons run and jump away from you. This game was so boring and tedious, I just stopped playing after the first level, because it simply wasn't worth it.

Baby Moses - Probably the best one of the bunch
This one is just less annoying and tedious, though it is still those things. So, while the Hebrews are in slavery to the Egyptians, Pharaoh declares that all the newborn Hebrew boys must be drowned in the river. One woman hides her boy, and, when she can hide her boy no longer, makes a basket and floats him on the river. In this game, the objective is to carry the baby to the end of the level, without leaving him behind or having him thrown into the river. Of course, this is easier said than done, because getting hit by ANYTHING will cause you to drop the baby, and the guards will constantly assault you, and will throw the baby into the water if they find him on the ground. As well, you have to avoid falling into the river, or you will die instantly, despite the fact that this woman should know how to swim. While the game has infinite continues, it's a test of your patience whether you will beat this game. Since this game only has about five levels, you shouldn't have too much trouble beating it. The ending sucks, too.

David and Goliath - The game with the most effort put into it
Obviously, they intended for David and Goliath to be the main game of the collection. So, the Israelites are being taunted by a Philistine giant named Goliath, and a shepherd boy named David is tending his sheep, and is told by his father to take some food to the soldiers in the battlefield. So, your mission in the first four levels is to take all four sheep to a designated spot(helpfully marked by an arrow) to finish the level. Of course, there's rams, squirrels, lions, what appear to be bears, and scorpions attacking David, and the lion will attack the sheep as well, knocking them out. After four levels of the same type of gameplay as Noah's Ark, you get a different level. In this level, you can't pick up objects, and you don't carry sheep to the goal. Instead, you wield a sling, and your goal is to get to and defeat Goliath.

While this may not seem like much, this is the best level in the entirety of ALL THREE games. Mainly because you can finally destroy enemies and because this level doesn't have annoying carry-object-to-goal gameplay. Of course, for some reason, you don't seem to be able to enter the doorways, for some reason, but the level's still a lot more playable than all the other levels in the game. So, you're supposed to climb up the mountain, using tiny platforms, and avoid the enemies. While you can defeat Philistine soldiers with your sling, it's difficult to hit them, because most of the time, it'll end up going right over their heads, unless you're below them or you have a lot of distance. Oh, you want to kill those annoying scorpions that make you fall through platforms when they hit you? Sorry, no matter how many rocks you pelt them with, they will not die.  I've pelted them with more than 10 rocks, and nothing happened.

There's also boulders coming from above, which keep coming down at you. Of course, they will knock you all around, and probably off whatever platforms you may be on. These boulders, along with everything else in this game, display the atrocious hit detection. I've gone right through boulders which I clearly got hit by, and jumped right through scorpions. In fact, this level seems to display everything bad about the game all jam-packed into one level. Bad level design, really slippery controls, annoying and tedious gameplay, ineffective weapons, terrible hit detection, and everything.

At the end of the level, you face Goliath, and it stays true to the Bible story:you have to hit him directly in the forehead. Problem is, it's really, really hard to shoot accurately enough to hit him there, and he shrugs off any other hit, no matter where you hit him. After you do that, he falls over, and you win. After quoting a Bible verse, the game...goes back to the title screen, and lets you pick a game again. I can't imagine how cheated I would feel if I bought this game, and this is what I got...

Do you know why I gave the story a 10? Because it follows its source material, the Bible, as best as it can. Really, I don't think you could make a much better game out of these three Biblical stories, which is quite sad.

-Slippery controls
-Bad level design
-Irritating and repetitive gameplay
-Useless weapons
-Hilariously inaccurate hit detection
-Sucky endings
-Very little gameplay
-Too much emphasis on carry-object-to-goal style gameplay, which feels like an escort mission
+Umm...it can teach you about the Bible?

Overall Rating-F-(Boring, tedious, too many problems, not fun at all. Probably one of the worst games you can find on any console.)

(Hmm...this review was a lot longer than most reviews I do. I think it's probably because it's of three different games.)
Ah, Bible Adventures, another bad game to add to the pile of bad Bible/Christian games. Well, I have a lot to say about this one...

Graphics - Barely better than the NES version
While this game has improved a little, it's still not good, even by Genesis standards. Sprites don't have too much detail, backgrounds are flat, and everything just looks ugly, especially the animation.

Music/Sound - "Who got the composer drunk?!"
Y'know, I wouldn't be that surprised if that line was actually said in the Wisdom Tree company. Throughout all 3 games, during gameplay, you hear this horrible unfitting off-key piano music. The best part is that you can turn the music off. The sound effects aren't much better...

Gameplay - Zzzzzz...
Simply put, the gameplay is boring, and no fun. Really, through the entire game, it feels more like you're doing menial work rather than playing a video game. It's that boring and tedious.

First of all, the controls feel like your character is covered in lubricant, because it's just so slippery. Your character slips and slides everywhere, and has a bad habit of sliding off of small platforms. But guess what? Most of the platforms, especially in the later levels, are small, which makes platforming a pain. You can walk normally, but you just want to get this game DONE and OVER WITH, so most people will try to dash as much as possible. Also, despite the Genesis controller having three face buttons, running and picking up/throwing items are both mapped to the same button. It probably would've been better for them to map jumping to the B button and use the other two buttons for running and picking up/throwing items.

In this game, there's actually three different games, each with its own gimmick. Let's look at them all, in order. Of course, all of these games have some elements in common with each other. All of them are about bringing object(s) to a designated point, and all of them have you collecting tablets to restore health. Of course, every time you pick up a tablet, the game feeds you a verse from the Bible, which gets somewhat annoying when you pick up the same tablet and get the same verse several times, since you can't skip these verses. Why not have a bunch of verses, and have them randomly selected each time you get a tablet? Yes, you theoretically could still get the same verse twice, but the likelihood of it would be really, really slim.

Noah's Ark - The worst of the bunch
This is the most boring game out of the three, and the most tedious as well. Basically, God is going to flood the world because of all the wickedness, and Noah is the only good man left, along with his family. God tells Noah to build an Ark, and take two of each unclean animal, male and female, and seven of each clean animal, into the Ark with him. Of course, in this game, Noah has to go find the animals himself and put them into the Ark. But, he is not without God's help. Y'know why I say that? Because Noah can pick up a horse, a cow, and basically anything else with relative ease, and he runs so fast that he can actually outrun the scrolling speed, so you have to either walk or stop running to let the screen catch up.

Of course, you need two of all the animals that are on any given level's list, and you need to get them into the Ark. Whether you get them into the Ark is a different story, since actually picking the animals up is a little more difficult than it sounds. Birds fly away from you, some animals, like pigs and pandas, must be knocked out before you can pick them up, and animals like horses, monkeys, and raccoons run and jump away from you. This game was so boring and tedious, I just stopped playing after the first level, because it simply wasn't worth it.

Baby Moses - Probably the best one of the bunch
This one is just less annoying and tedious, though it is still those things. So, while the Hebrews are in slavery to the Egyptians, Pharaoh declares that all the newborn Hebrew boys must be drowned in the river. One woman hides her boy, and, when she can hide her boy no longer, makes a basket and floats him on the river. In this game, the objective is to carry the baby to the end of the level, without leaving him behind or having him thrown into the river. Of course, this is easier said than done, because getting hit by ANYTHING will cause you to drop the baby, and the guards will constantly assault you, and will throw the baby into the water if they find him on the ground. As well, you have to avoid falling into the river, or you will die instantly, despite the fact that this woman should know how to swim. While the game has infinite continues, it's a test of your patience whether you will beat this game. Since this game only has about five levels, you shouldn't have too much trouble beating it. The ending sucks, too.

David and Goliath - The game with the most effort put into it
Obviously, they intended for David and Goliath to be the main game of the collection. So, the Israelites are being taunted by a Philistine giant named Goliath, and a shepherd boy named David is tending his sheep, and is told by his father to take some food to the soldiers in the battlefield. So, your mission in the first four levels is to take all four sheep to a designated spot(helpfully marked by an arrow) to finish the level. Of course, there's rams, squirrels, lions, what appear to be bears, and scorpions attacking David, and the lion will attack the sheep as well, knocking them out. After four levels of the same type of gameplay as Noah's Ark, you get a different level. In this level, you can't pick up objects, and you don't carry sheep to the goal. Instead, you wield a sling, and your goal is to get to and defeat Goliath.

While this may not seem like much, this is the best level in the entirety of ALL THREE games. Mainly because you can finally destroy enemies and because this level doesn't have annoying carry-object-to-goal gameplay. Of course, for some reason, you don't seem to be able to enter the doorways, for some reason, but the level's still a lot more playable than all the other levels in the game. So, you're supposed to climb up the mountain, using tiny platforms, and avoid the enemies. While you can defeat Philistine soldiers with your sling, it's difficult to hit them, because most of the time, it'll end up going right over their heads, unless you're below them or you have a lot of distance. Oh, you want to kill those annoying scorpions that make you fall through platforms when they hit you? Sorry, no matter how many rocks you pelt them with, they will not die.  I've pelted them with more than 10 rocks, and nothing happened.

There's also boulders coming from above, which keep coming down at you. Of course, they will knock you all around, and probably off whatever platforms you may be on. These boulders, along with everything else in this game, display the atrocious hit detection. I've gone right through boulders which I clearly got hit by, and jumped right through scorpions. In fact, this level seems to display everything bad about the game all jam-packed into one level. Bad level design, really slippery controls, annoying and tedious gameplay, ineffective weapons, terrible hit detection, and everything.

At the end of the level, you face Goliath, and it stays true to the Bible story:you have to hit him directly in the forehead. Problem is, it's really, really hard to shoot accurately enough to hit him there, and he shrugs off any other hit, no matter where you hit him. After you do that, he falls over, and you win. After quoting a Bible verse, the game...goes back to the title screen, and lets you pick a game again. I can't imagine how cheated I would feel if I bought this game, and this is what I got...

Do you know why I gave the story a 10? Because it follows its source material, the Bible, as best as it can. Really, I don't think you could make a much better game out of these three Biblical stories, which is quite sad.

-Slippery controls
-Bad level design
-Irritating and repetitive gameplay
-Useless weapons
-Hilariously inaccurate hit detection
-Sucky endings
-Very little gameplay
-Too much emphasis on carry-object-to-goal style gameplay, which feels like an escort mission
+Umm...it can teach you about the Bible?

Overall Rating-F-(Boring, tedious, too many problems, not fun at all. Probably one of the worst games you can find on any console.)

(Hmm...this review was a lot longer than most reviews I do. I think it's probably because it's of three different games.)
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05-31-12 11:17 PM
thing1 is Offline
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thing1
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Lol. When I got my PS2, i had 2 copies of a game, because I got it for Christmas, and everybody gave me games for that same Christmas, so I had to trade in one of the games, and one of them was a Bible Trivia game, and yeah, it sucked worse than this in the overall category, let me tell you that.
Lol. When I got my PS2, i had 2 copies of a game, because I got it for Christmas, and everybody gave me games for that same Christmas, so I had to trade in one of the games, and one of them was a Bible Trivia game, and yeah, it sucked worse than this in the overall category, let me tell you that.
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